


To Break a Fallen Bird

by IshaQuetzal



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Canon, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Other, Pre-Canon, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-03-22 23:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 161,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3747085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IshaQuetzal/pseuds/IshaQuetzal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lost in a land she doesn't recognize, a young woman named Alice has a fateful meeting that lands her in the custody of the Homunculi for reasons she doesn't understand. In order to survive, she must learn to deal with her new guardian and jailer: Envy. Forced to work for them in a mission, she soon realizes that its consequences may be more far-reaching than she could possibly be prepared for. Not only that, but the further she goes into it, the more she is changed... and the more her jailer changes. This is a story about love, and about survival and acceptance, but it's also a story about pain and abuse and what that can bring, both for the victim and the perpetrator.</p><p>This story was born from a challenge. A relationship between Envy and... someone, but keeping Envy as in-character as I could. This is the result. I hope people enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. </p><p>The work is now finished. If there's any questions, I'll answer them in the author notes of chapter 34.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down the Rabbit Hole

## Chapter 1 - Down the Rabbit Hole

Hastily brushing her thin, straight hair, Alice frowned. She was pretty sure she had nothing she could adorn her hair with that would look nice with its deep red. And on such an important date, too! It wasn't supposed to be too formal, but she had picked the loveliest pants she owned, and a nice blouse. Too bad she could do nothing for the hair. Turning quickly, she picked up her black, foldable cane and walked out. That would have to do. All she needed now was a jacket. And she'd be ready for her date. She had a grin in her face, as she had looked forward to this for the whole week. Remembering it was pretty cold out, she went to her wardrobe and opened it.

This was going to be such a wonderful night!

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Another day, and not nearly enough chaos. He'd walked around all over the city, too, monitoring the situation, looking for candidates for human sacrifice. And, of course, nothing! He'd even taken Gluttony, in case they found something, so that he could learn their scent. But in the end that had been useless too. Envy was not looking forward to reporting this failure, not the least because though they had found what seemed to be a promising alchemist... it just turned out to be a worthless geezer that would never do for their plans. Gluttony was walking behind him, sucking his thumb and looking quite dejected at having, again, not eaten anyone. The entrance to their lair was very close by, at least.

“Come on, hurry it up, will you?!” Envy growled at Gluttony. His frustrations had to go somewhere, after all.

Gluttony had stopped, his large nose twitching as he sniffed the air.

“Oh, come ON! What IS it?”

“I smell someone. I've never smelled them before.” Gluttony said, then grinned. “They smell yummy!”

“Someone? Here?” Envy asked, turning about.

It was then when he saw the light. It was an alchemical reaction, definitely. He rushed over. If it was an intruder, then that intruder would have to be terminated. Gluttony, of course, followed. But what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks.

That was certainly not a normal alchemical reaction. A big... eye... had opened in the ground. And a human shape was materializing. Human transmutation? But... how? No one had been there the moment before. But this... this could actually be helpful. This could actually be one of the sacrifices they so desperately needed.

Moments later, the intruder was on the ground, still dazed. It was a girl. Just an average girl, wearing pants and a blouse, with thin, straight red hair. She was holding a cane, and she was not very tall. Envy frowned. THIS weakling could possibly be a human sacrifice? She'd come out of the gate, alright, but she didn't seem like anything special. Then again... most humans didn't. He stood there for now, watching the girl, a hand on his hip, still frowning.

“Can I eat her?” Gluttony asked, looking up at Envy with an eager face.

“Of course not, you idiot! She might be useful.”

And she had also better wake up quickly. Envy just didn't have the patience to wait for long. Gluttony gave a sad frown and hunched his shoulders as his stomach growled.

He didn't have to wait for long. A few moments later, the girl groaned and started to look around. She turned around, looked at the night sky, and then her hazel eyes met the slitted purple ones. She let out a shriek.

“Where am I?!” she asked, her voice shrill with fear.

“In Central” Envy replied, quickly deciding that the best way to deal with this one and keep her relatively quiet was to feign friendliness. He smoothed out his frown and smiled at her. “How did you get here? It could be dangerous for a young girl to be alone out here.”

“I... I don't know!” the girl replied, her voice still shrill. “What is this place?! I was home just now. What do you want?! I don't even know what Central is!”

“Relax. We won't hurt you. What's your name?” Envy asked in a soft voice, speaking and breathing slowly.

“A... Alice!” the girl stammered, though Envy's tone had done its work. She was starting to calm down, ever so slightly.

“Alice! Pleased to meet you! Here, let me help you up,” Envy said, extending a hand to the girl, who took it. He swiftly pulled her to her feet. “So you don't know where Central is? You must be far away from home. Where do you live?”

“A... small town... named Fernwood.” Alice replied, slightly less shrilly.

“Huh? That's not really near here.”

“Wait, what?! That's impossible! I was there right now! I was going to go on a date! I need to get back!” Alice said, her tone becoming more shrill again.

“Please, calm down. It's a strange thing. However... Our Father knows a lot. Surely he'll know where you are from and how to get you back there.”

“I must be having a nightmare, I must! This is impossible!”

“Come. Trust me. Our Father is the only one who can help you. He lives close by.”

“Our Father is great! He knows everything!” piped in Gluttony.

“I don't know you guys! I can't just go with you!”

Envy sighed. What a troublesome human. Typical.

 “Oh well! I tried to help you. But you're well within your rights to refuse. Hopefully you have enough Cenz to pay for lodgings tonight. If not, well, the night is pleasant. I'm sure you'd be able to sleep outside. But the streets have been pretty dangerous lately... with some really awful people wandering the streets later on. I'd really hate to leave a young girl helpless out here.” Envy shrugged.

“... Cenz? What are you talking about?”

“Money, of course,” Envy said, turning to leave. “Good luck, I suppose.”

Alice had never even heard of Cenz. And even if she had, she had no money here. And she didn't think she could last a night in the streets, either. And this young person... he was strangely-dressed, it was true, as was his companion. But he sounded so sincere. But at the same time... she knew better than to trust them blindly.

“Where's the police station?” she asked. Surely they'd be able to help her.

Envy turned back towards her.

“Pretty far,” he answered. “But our Father works with the military. He can make calls, even at this hour. I'm sure a military car can pick you up and lead you home.”

He really seemed so friendly. And what choice did she have? She couldn't wander the streets all night. And it was dark and she couldn't help but feel a dreadful sense of danger. If it was only to call the military, she supposed she could trust this strange young person. For now. And anyways, if it was all just a nightmare, as it surely was, her choice wouldn't really matter.

“Alright, then. I'll go with you to your father. Just... just to call the police, okay?”

“Of course!” Envy said, giving her his friendliest smile. “Follow us!”

He then turned away, starting to walk back to the entrance to their lair. His smile turned into a sneer while Alice was not looking at his face. He'd done it. One could always count on how easily humans could be manipulated. A little fear, a little friendliness, and she was willingly walking with them. She might very well be useful and, instead of reporting a failure, he could report a success. And the girl didn't really need to know that if she was not useful... Gluttony would get his snack after all.

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She followed the two strangers through what seemed to be sewers. They seemed pretty calm, but there was that sense of foreboding she could not shake. Why were they coming this way? Why not through the streets? What were these tunnels? She took a moment to gather her courage to ask.

“Why are we coming this way? I thought your father worked in the military? Is the military underground?”

“It's a shortcut,” Envy replied simply. “It's safer through here than the streets anyways.”

“Safer!” Gluttony repeated gleefully.

She kept walking, right until she heard a rather nasty crunch beneath her feet. Looking down in horror, she saw what definitely had to be bones. And some stains. She yelped out, causing Envy and Gluttony to stop.

“What is this?!” she yelped out.

“Oh my,” Envy said, a rather nasty grin on his face now. “My bad. I guess I forgot to tell you. It's only safe for you here if you stay quite close to us. If you get separated,” he turned and gave her a piercing glare, while still smiling, “you will find out exactly how those bones got here. So you better keep up.”

He was snickering now, and he was walking again. Alice felt her heart almost stop. What were these people saying? She looked up, horrified, seeing a bunch of hungry eyes, hearing growls of what couldn't be anything but monsters. Yelping again, she managed to will herself to move forward, quickly, using her cane to pull herself along to catch up with Envy and Gluttony. She was dead silent as she kept up with them, bitterly regretting the moment she'd decided to go with them. She pinched her ear a few times, too, but no matter how she tried, she couldn't wake up. What was happening?!

It wasn't long before they were right next to a huge door, which Envy swiftly pushed open, revealing a dark and huge room. Alice was trembling by now, the feeling of dread intensifying for some reason.

“Father!” Gluttony called out as soon as he went in. “Father, we brought someone!”

“Who?” Alice heard a deep voice responding from the center of the room.

“It's some girl. Doesn't know where this is. I don't know where she's from, either; she mentioned some weird place I've never heard of,” Envy explained. “I saw her coming out of a Gate, though. Just like that.”

“A Gate...? Bring her before me.”

“You heard Our Father. Walk,” Envy demanded, prodding Alice on the back so as to guide her before his Father.

Flinching slightly from Envy's harsh poke, she walked, even though her legs were shaking by now. There was no doubt that this had all been a dreadful mistake. These weird people were dangerous, and that phone call to the police to help her get home seemed like some distant hope. But she couldn't cause trouble either, lest it would provoke them into hostility. She stood before the man with the deep voice that the strangers had called Father, and she was surprised at what she saw. If this was the father of those that had brought her here, he didn't look it. He was pale-skinned, like the slender young person that had first spoken to her. But his hair was a golden blond, rather than the black hair of the slender one. The fat guy didn't really look at all like him either. Unlike the fat guy’s round shape, the blond guy’s face was square, with a short golden beard making it look even more so. And the man's eyes were golden, instead of purple. And they certainly weren't slitted. There was something almost... inhuman about him, though. Perhaps it was the way he looked at her, so coldly, so devoid of any emotion. It had to be the eyes. His clothes were strange, yes, being white robes that looked like some kind of ancient priest. But it was the eyes that were inhuman.

“Who are you? Are you an alchemist?” the man said.

His deep voice resonated through the room. Alice felt what little courage she had left giving out on her. And what was he talking about? An alchemist?

“Alice. And... no. I'm... not an alchemist” Alice managed to stammer.

“And how did you get to where they found you?”

“I... opened my wardrobe... and suddenly...” Alice said, the memories clearing up as she tried hard to recall them. “There was... a white, smiling person. Not white as in the skin. All white, as in... cloud kind of white. And... then... I think I must be having a nightmare... there were hands and a huge eye... I don't really remember it clearly... I must have been dreaming... or hallucinating. I think I hit my head somehow.”

“Hm. And you don't know where Amestris is?”

“No...”

The man looked at her for a long time, scratching his beard.

“A different world perhaps? Hm... strange... but very possible...” he mused out loud.

“What do you mean a different world?!” Alice asked, horrified, but the man ignored her, continuing his musing.

“I could definitely use that... yes... I think I'll study this further...” the man continued, turning then to Envy and Gluttony. “You did well bringing her to me, my children.” He turned back to Alice. “Your home is not something you can reach by conventional means. I can take you back... but I need something from you first. It will bring you no harm, if you only cooperate. But it will be a while yet. I understand that you will have nowhere to go. In that case... you will be our honored guest.”

“What... but... I don't understand!” Alice exclaimed.

“You don't need to understand. Just know that you must stay here for a time. I will study the way to get you back home. It is well within my abilities. But I will only do so after a certain important event that I must attend to first. Do not worry. You will be well taken care of in the meantime,” the man said and then scratched his chin. “Who can take care of you, though...? Not Pride. Or Wrath. They're far too busy. Certainly not Sloth. Or Gluttony. Lust deals better with other types of people. I guess that leaves Envy.”

“Wait, what?! Me?!” Envy protested.

“Are you thinking of disobeying your Father?” the bearded man asked.

“I guess not,” Envy replied sheepishly. “But what do I even do with a human girl like that?”

“Make sure she stays well and healthy until after our plans come to pass. Do whatever you want or need to do. So long as she's not dead.”

“Well, if you put it that way...” Envy said with a huge, toothy grin. Then he turned to Alice, giving her a very friendly smile, then speaking in an almost singsong manner, “Well, then! Come with me. I'll show you to your room as our honored guest!”

“Wait! I didn't agree to this!” Alice exclaimed.

“Do you not want to go home?” Father asked.

“Well... yes, but-”

“Then you have no choice. Go with Envy. He'll be the one in charge of you from now on.”

“Come on then, Alice~! We're going to have so much fun together~!” Envy exclaimed, still with that friendly grin.

Alice gave a sort of wave to Father, before turning to follow Envy, vaguely thinking to herself about how weird a name that was, and what a horrible, nightmarish situation she seemed to have landed in. And also how strange this wispy-haired Envy person was... one moment friendly, the next with that cruel grin... then right back to friendly again. His statement that they would have a lot of fun together suddenly seemed more than a little ominous.


	2. An Honored Guest

## Chapter 2 - An Honored Guest

As she was led through more tunnels, Alice began to feel resigned to the fact that she was lost, in a strange place, and she had gotten herself into an even worse situation. Maybe if she kept her cool, she would manage to get out of it somehow. She kept up with Envy, also fearing that if she got away from him, those monsters whose hungry eyes she saw would really come after her. It seemed like an eternity, though, before Envy finally stopped by a door, took down a key from a nail crudely stuck on the wall next to it, and used it to unlock the door, gesturing for her to go inside as he entered.

She did so, looking around her. It was a bland, dusty room, with an old-looking plain bed, a desk, and a small room, presumably a bathroom of some kind. There was an empty wardrobe too. And that was all. No decorations. The bedsheets were black. The furniture was perfectly plain. And everything was covered in a fine layer of dust.

“This is where you'll be staying while you're with us,” Envy said. “I'll bring you the necessary food and water, don't you worry!”

Alice hesitated for a moment. If these were the quarters given to the guests of honor, she dreaded to think of what happened to prisoners. She turned around to talk, but Envy was already exiting the room. He closed the door and then she heard the lock turning.

“What are you doing?!” Alice yelled out. “Why are you locking me in?!”

“It's for your safety~! You don't want the chimeras turning you into a lovely pile of bones, now, do you~?” Envy replied in a giddy, almost girly tone. He then started giggling as he left, leaving Alice trapped in that room, no longer wondering what these people did to prisoners now that she fully realized she was one.

Alice knew already that she was most likely going to learn to hate that tone.

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Envy giddily walked back to where the quarters he actually lived in were. This was only too great! Not only had he managed to find an actually useful human for Father, but he was also made the girl's guardian! At first he'd been really ticked off about this. But when he realized that Father had basically given him permission to do anything with her, as long as she was kept alive, his anger turned into giddiness. He was, after all, basically being told that the human scum was to be his plaything. And there were few things that gave him more pleasure than toying with a human. Oh, he would have so much fun! He had a little sprint in his step and he was grinning from ear to ear.

As he approached his quarters, he heard a nearby door open. Lust came out of her room, her deadpan gaze fixed on him.

“I heard from Gluttony. You actually managed to do something useful,” she said coolly. “I'm impressed! Tell me about it.”

“Hey! Don't sound so surprised about it, old hag!” Envy snapped. “But yes, I saw this human girl coming out of the Gate. I figured Father might have some use for her, and if not, Gluttony could have a snack.”

“Lucky for you that she turned out to be useful for us after all,” Lust said. “Father would probably not have liked it if you brought in some useless human. I'll say, it was a bit careless of you.”

“He'd probably have liked it even less if we killed her for trespassing and she turned out to be useful, don't you think? At any rate, it all worked out great! Not like she could really have gotten out of here, and Father gained a useful resource, everyone gets to be happy!” Envy said, finishing with a rather flamboyant shrug and an almost sappy grin.

“You seem rather pleased. I thought you were the one in charge of taking care of the human. Doesn't seem like a pleasant job.”

“Well... I thought so too at first. However... Father only told me not to kill her. Didn't say anything else. In fact, listen to this! He says I can do anything as long as she doesn't die!” Envy said, his glee mounting with each word, his hands on the sides of his face. He seemed almost manic.

“Oh dear,” Lust said with a sigh. “Don't break her too much, Envy. We don't want her trying to take her own life, either.”

“Oh, don't worry! I'll be perfectly nice, I promise!” Envy replied with a grin.

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Left alone in the dimly-lit room, Alice was left with few choices as to what to do. She could sit around and do nothing, or she could sleep, or she could at least get to know the room she was now in. She chose that last option, even if there was nothing to really look at. The bare, grey walls were covered with dust. There were some lights mounted on the wall, but the light they gave was a dim and almost sickly green. The door was thick, but at the top, there was a small window covered in bars.As for furniture, there was a bed with black sheets. There was also a dusty, empty wardrobe and a desk with its chair.There was a table on the other end that she hadn't noticed at first, with four chairs next to it. And sure enough, the little room was a bathroom, though it had no shower, or even a bathtub. Pacing around the room a few times, she eventually just set her cane down and laid down on the bed.

She laid down on the bed with a sigh. She was really hungry, as she had been planning to eat on her date. Not only that, but she was also exhausted and trapped. She had no idea how long she would be staying here, or how to even get out.  And it wasn't even just the lock. She felt sure she wouldn't be able to limp her way outside, especially if it meant going through those tunnels. She’d seen those hungry, monstrous eyes. They couldn’t belong to anything good, and further proof had been in the bones she’d stepped on. But the worst part of all, at least now, was that she needed medication... and that was back at home. Her cane wasn't just for show. Things would get pretty nasty for her if she wasn't allowed to get back home.

She closed her eyes, trying desperately to go to sleep. Maybe once she woke up, she would find out it was just a nightmare. But just as she had been close to falling into a deep sleep, a clicking sound woke her up. She sat up quickly, realizing it was the lock. She could see already the top of the wispy-haired Envy's head. She let out a deep sigh. What did he want NOW?

He entered quickly, carrying a tray with one hand. There was a plate with a sandwich and a glass of milk on it. His face was pretty serious, at least until he looked at her startled face.

“Did I wake you?” he asked with a sneer. “Too bad. See, I remembered I'd left you here without any dinner. You need to stay healthy, so that won't do. So I brought you this.”

“Thank you.”

“I suppose it could have been two, but I really didn't want to waste my time.”

“Will I be able to go home soon?” Alice said, choosing to ignore what Envy had just said.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, sure, I guess. Soon enough.” Envy replied.

“I need some medicines. But I didn’t have them with me when I came here. I will get very sick without that,” Alice said. She didn't feel like explaining all about it, but she figured that just mentioning the sick part would get Envy's attention, if he was really supposed to keep her healthy.

It did catch his attention. His bored expression immediately changed, his eyes widening a bit, and his gaze fixed on her.

“Wait, what?! You mean to say you have some sort of chronic sickness? You wimp! You're going to make things a pain for me! Well, out with it. What's wrong with you? What do you take medication for?”

“My body attacks itself. That's how my knees and hands got damaged and why I use a cane to walk. It could attack anything though.”

Envy let out a very audible groan.

“So your own body hates you? That's great. Whatever. We have a doctor available. I guess I'll just ask him to see you once a week or something and fix you,” he grumbled. “Seriously, what kind of pathetic weakling are you? I mean, if you had a philosopher stone and your body got attacked for that, it'd be one thing. But... you're just a normal human and you have a similar reaction? Ugh!”

“It's not like I chose this!”

“Who cares if you chose it or not? It's going to give me problems,” he sighed. Then he gave a grin. “I guess I'll have to make up for the problems you'll be causing me.”

“Wait, what?”

“Never mind that! Enjoy your dinner. It's not like you're getting anything else until I remember to bring your breakfast,” Envy replied with his usual smile as he stood up from the table. He stretched himself slightly and then heading out the door, locking it again.

Alice headed to the table, examining the sandwich. It was quite hastily made, but it was at least something. And to a very hungry person, it was just what she needed. She quickly finished what would have to pass for dinner. And then the only thing she really could do was go back to bed, even though it took her a long while to fall back to sleep. Her thoughts kept coming back to those three strangers. The bearded man... what did he want with her? And that fat guy... who was he? And then there was this guy named Envy. How was he planning to “make up for the problems” she would supposedly cause him? There was something sinister about those words, just like there was something wrong with that smile of his. But what it was, she couldn't really pinpoint yet. As she began to fall asleep, she prayed that she wouldn't get to find out.

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“Wake up now! Time to eat!” came Envy's voice, quite loudly, at what had to be a very early hour.

Alice opened her eyes, feeling like she'd barely slept at all. Envy was already inside the room, having just set down the tray with what Alice assumed to be breakfast. She was dazed for a moment, and then she practically jumped out of bed.

“Wh... what time is it?” she asked.

“Around five” Envy replied, sitting on the chair at the table. “You'd best eat now. Otherwise the food will get cold.”

“Five?!”

“Yeah, I have work to do, you know. Not just sitting here taking care of a little wimp.”

“Could you at least please knock first?”

“What? And waste time? No,” Envy replied with a lazy grin, his eyes half-closed. “Get used to it. I'll come and go when it's convenient to me. Now hurry up and eat.”

“Are you going to stay there?”

“Yes,” Envy replied, still grinning. He opened an eye to glance at her, seeing she was now hesitating, frowning slightly. “Oh, come on now. It's not like I'll eat you. That'd be Gluttony's job.”

“Who's Gluttony?”

“The round and short guy with me when we found you.”

“He'd eat me?!”

“Sure” Envy said, giving her a nasty grin. “If I give him permission, he would. He goes for the face first, and the neck, so it's a quick death, don't worry! Just a bit messy, really, but he cleans up all of it. Leaves nothing.” The look on Alice's face must have conveyed her terror very well, because Envy simply grinned at her for a few moments before continuing. “But don't worry! He's not given permission to eat you. Unless you are really, really troublesome.” His eyes closed in amusement. “But you're going to not give me more trouble, right? You're going to be a good little wimp and come and have your breakfast, right?”

Still horrified, Alice walked over to the table and sat down. Envy smiled.

“There we go! Much better. If you eat well, maybe your wimpy little body will hate you less” he said, standing up and stretching a bit. “Well. I suppose I'll come back and check on you later.”

He picked up the empty tray from the night before and left. He didn't say goodbye, and Alice wasn't inclined to say anything to him either. She had actually lost her appetite with Envy's description of what Gluttony would do. But she ate anyways, lest the cruel jailer actually decided to go through with that threat.

She knew now what was up with that smile of his, at least when he wasn't pretending to be nice. It never seemed to quite reach his cruel eyes, at least, not in any way that made him look at all friendly.


	3. Anger Management

## Chapter 3 - Anger Management

She had taken to rearranging the furniture in the room, mostly out of boredom and because, all things considered, her weak body couldn't really do it quickly. Having nothing else to do in that forsaken and empty room, it was, she felt, a better use of her time than sitting and doing nothing at all. She'd probably moved everything at least three times, when she finally decided it had been enough. She was tired and achy and she was also terribly bored. If only she had some books to read... or something. ANYTHING. Instead, she had to wait for someone to come back. Most likely Envy. With his cruel, sharp comments, and his sneers and his nasty ways. Ugh!

She had been resting a while and was about to get up to keep moving furniture around in an attempt to keep herself busy, when she heard a quick but rather polite knock on the door. Astounded, especially after Envy had clearly stated his lack of intention of using that polite gesture, she looked at the door. The person outside was not Envy, definitely. It was a taller woman, and she was already opening the lock.

She was very different from Envy, and at the same time, there was an unmistakable resemblance. There was the black hair, even if hers was thick and wavy. There was the slender body, even if she was also curvy, while Envy was just plain bony. But the most similar thing were the eyes. They were also purple, even if a lighter and more reddish color. But there was something of a resemblance there. Her expression was fairly deadpan, and rather than the strange clothes that almost looked like a bathing suit of sorts that Envy wore, she had a tight-fitting dress, gloves, and boots. She was the one carrying a tray with food this time.

“... Who are you? Where's the Envy guy?” Alice asked.

“Oh. You wanted to see him? He's busy right now, so I had to come instead. I'm Lust.”

“I... didn't want to see him. It's hard to want to see someone who hates you.”

“He hates you? No, I don't think so. He actually seems pretty pleased to be in charge of this. I guess you might even say he seems to like you. At the very least, he doesn't hate you any more than he hates anyone else.”

“... But... he's nasty. He keeps trying to insult me all the time.”

“Oh, that's just him being friendly.”

“Friendly?!”

“Yes. Then again...” Lust said, hesitating a moment. “It couldn't hurt to give you some pointers. Would make things easier for all of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he does have a vile temper. And I'd really hate to have to get someone to scrape your remains off the floor if he gets angry.”

“... That's a joke, right?”

“Sadly, no” Lust said with a shrug and a sigh. “Like I said, he's got a vile temper. And he's pretty careless. So really. That's my first piece of advice. Don't get him angry. And... especially.... don't call him ugly. Or a fool... or worthless... or... look, just don't insult him.”

“... Just what kind of people are you?”

“Well, now,” Lust said, grinning a bit. Like Envy, her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. “You've been a good girl so far, not asking many questions. The only thing that matters is that we're the only people that can get you home.”

Alice didn't answer, her gaze turning towards the floor. It was true. They were the only people who could help her. After all, even if there were other people in this strange country that could do the same, they didn't even know she existed. And these strange dark-haired people were seemingly eager to keep it that way.

“Well, now. I'll let you eat in peace. Do take my advice, though. You'll suffer if you don't.”

And thus Lust left as well, leaving Alice once more alone. She sighed as she looked at the tray of food she'd been brought. It seemed as though being left alone was something she was really going to have to start getting used to.

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Lust didn't really come back to check on Alice after that. It was all Envy. Sometimes he stayed a very short time, but occasionally he stayed for quite a long while. At times, he seemed to be in a poor mood and barely said a word, but at others he seemed to be in a really great mood and was actually quite the chatterbox. The only thing that never seemed to change was his delight in giving out threats and demeaning comments. It seemed that the instant he picked up on the fact that some comment of his scared her or made her uncomfortable, he couldn't get enough of it. However, Lust's warning about Envy's temper was still fresh and clear in her mind. She tried her best not to antagonize him and, for the most part, stayed quiet as the jailer talked on and on. He didn't even pick the most pleasant topics, either, mostly going on about wars and torment and chaos, seemingly finding this the most pleasant and fun topic. It was disturbing, but in the end, it was the only company she had. After a few weeks, she'd even begun to crave his company, even as she spent most of her time sleeping and she had begun to feel ill and without an appetite.

“You're eating less and less.” Envy commented once, actually frowning and looking worried.

“Yeah,” Alice replied rather dully. It had been an especially boring day, and Envy had just woken her up pretty rudely.

He sat on the chair closest to the bed, looking at her with a frown.

“You didn't even eat half of the last meal. This won't do. You're an important resource. You've got to stay healthy.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Well, really, what's wrong with you? Is it your wimpy human body hating you as much as you deserve?”

“All I have to do all day is sleep. I don't go out. I barely move. I don't do anything. I can only move the furniture so many times.”

“Oh. So. What? You want to leave here or something?”

“That would be nice.”

Envy started laughing. His laughter was about as kind as his grins: cold and cruel.

“No can do!” he said with a grin. “I'll bring you a few fun books, but that's about it.”

He was as good as his word in that, bringing some books along with the next meal. However, his idea of fun, Alice thought, was a bit too twisted. There were books on torture and war and even one about psychological effects of trauma. What kind of monster would consider this fun?

“Aren't you going to thank me?” Envy asked her as he handed them over to her.

“Yes. Thank you. These are... fun books,” she replied, though her last sentence sounded a lot more like a question.

“Yes they are~!” Envy exclaimed in a sing-song voice. “They’re my favourites~!”

“Yeah...”

“Oh, they're so wonderful~! It's something humans do so much, always fighting, always causing each other pain, it's so enjoyable~!” Envy continued.

“... Humans? Aren't you...?”

“Human?! Me?!” Envy asked in mock shock. He laughed for quite a bit before he continued speaking. “No! I'm not some pathetic human! I'm SO much better than THAT!”

“Then... what are you?”

“I'm a Homunculus,” he replied with a big grin. “An artificial human, created with alchemy, with powers that mere humans can only dream of.”

“Powers...? Like what?”

“Like this!” he replied, still grinning. She heard crackling sounds as his body began to give out small bolts and arcs of what seemed to be some kind of red electricity. Right before her eyes, Envy's skin began to change, as did his clothes. His wispy hair filled out, becoming somewhat thicker, and changed in color from black to the same deep red Alice had. Still straight, it shortened slightly, to just below his elbows. His form filled out to a definitely feminine shape, and his clothes morphed until they mirrored her green pants and white blouse. His eyes turned from purple to the same hazel color hers had too. A few moments later, a perfect copy of Alice was standing before her, wearing Envy's nasty grin.

She was so shocked she gasped and cringed back from him.

“You look so surprised! Oh, the shock in your face, it's so great!” Envy exclaimed with great glee, his voice also perfectly mimicking Alice's tone, even though he was using his usual flamboyant mannerisms to speak rather than Alice’s more shy ways.

She stared at him, still completely speechless. She'd seen many creepy things in her life, but to see herself, or rather, her copy, standing there, with Envy's body language and mannerisms... that was creepier than anything else that came to memory.

“That's...”

“Wonderful, isn't it?” Envy asked, this time in his normal voice, which creeped Alice out even more. “Oh you should see your face!” he continued in his most gleeful tone. “This really never gets old!” He looked at her horrified face for a while before he once more had crackling sparks and arcs of red energy come from his body, zapping sounds filling the air. In just a few moments, he had switched back to his normal form. He put his hand to his chest as he gave Alice a disdainful smile before he said: “I do prefer to actually look good, though.”

Alice gave him a glare in response.

“Oh, what is that? Is that defiance I see? My, my, that won't do. You've been such a good girl, that's why I brought your books and everything. You don't want me to take them away, do you?” he asked.

Alice looked towards the floor in defeat. She hated him, she really did. But she couldn't bear to have nothing to do, and the books were all she had aside from him. Even if they weren't books she would normally want to read, she was desperate. She couldn't stand it if he took them away.

“There we go, smart girl. That's much better.”

Much to Alice's disgust, this time Envy sat at the table and mostly stayed watching her, most likely studying her, leaving only after she was done eating and angrily sat at the bed, hiding behind a book. She really wished he would be too busy to stay any longer than a minute. She would definitely hate it if he had as much free time as he'd had that day. She didn't like the way he'd been observing her that day, either. It definitely was as though he were studying her every movement and reaction. If he'd aimed to make her highly uncomfortable, he'd definitely done that well. But she feared he had more reasons than that. It was terrifying to think of.


	4. Luxury

## Chapter 4 - Luxury

Though the books Envy had brought her weren't exactly something she would have picked, they were just what she needed. She had been feeling as though she would lose her mind, but having something to do on the long times she was left alone kept her sane. She still slept a lot and didn't eat much, and sometimes she was in tears at the sheer frustration of her situation. She wondered what the people she knew were thinking now, and whether anyone was looking for her. She wondered if she'd ever have anyone else to talk to, instead of Envy. She hated the fact that even though she loathed him, she couldn't help but look forward to his visits, even though he was cruel and took too much delight in jabs and insults, and had left her crying a few times (though she always waited until he was gone, so as not to give him that satisfaction). But though she resented him for that, the main reason she hated him was because he had forced her into a situation where she depended on him, for her very sanity. She despised the fact that he had made it so that she would look forward to his horrible company, while at the same time really wishing he would leave her alone forever. She felt almost dirty for craving his visits. She could neither stand him nor get enough of him.

It wasn't too long after he'd brought her the books that he came into the room, not just wearing a dusty, frayed and washed-out coat, but also holding a basket. He looked especially serious that day, which immediately made Alice's heart sink. Whatever was in his mind, it wasn't nice.

“This place stinks. I can't stand it anymore. You really reek,” Envy said. There was no humor in his voice.

“I'm sorry. There's no bath or shower here.”

“Yeah, I know. Normally I wouldn't care, but you've become truly offensive to smell,” Envy said.

Alice sighed. She didn't think she smelled that bad. But she also didn't want to talk back and risk angering Envy if he already seemed to be in a poor mood.

“Take your clothes and put them here,” Envy said, tossing her the basket.

“... Wait, what?!” Alice asked shocked. “I don't have anything else!”

“I don't care. You stink,” Envy said.

Covering herself with the blanket from the bed she slept in, Alice complied, taking her clothes and putting them into the basket. She kept her underwear, however, and handed him the basket, trembling with humiliation.

“I said all of them,” Envy said harshly. “And get that blanket off you, you'll stink it up too!”

“Please, no! I don't have anything else to wear!”

Envy made a derisive sound, the palm of his hand smacking his forehead.

“You humans are really stupid about this. But fine. I don't really want to see your disgusting human body, either,” he took off the old coat, handing it to her, roughly. “Here. I'll turn around, too.”

Humiliated by being forced to be so, well, exposed, Alice was shaking like a leaf, and holding back sobs of frustration. But she took the coat, put it on, and put the rest of her clothes into the basket. She handed the basket to Envy, who had indeed turned around.

“There, that wasn't so hard, was it? I'll get someone to wash them.”

With that, he left. The tray of food was left behind too. Alice tried her best to pull the coat as tight around herself as she could, though it only barely covered her, as Envy was so thin. She cursed him under her breath. Couldn't he have provided her with something else? As much as he complained about her smell, the coat didn't exactly smell like roses, either. It smelled of sweat, likely his. She was sobbing now, and didn't even bother eating. She really felt she wouldn't be able to stand him any longer.

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Much to Alice's utter relief, Lust brought her next meal. She never stayed long, but right now, Alice would much rather see her than the smaller monster. She couldn't meet Lust's gaze, however. And her last meal had barely been so much as touched.

“Well. You're certainly quiet today. And Envy's right. You're not eating anywhere near enough,” Lust said with a heavy sigh. “It's quite a shame. We have kept him in the kitchen more than he'd like, too. Even I've pitched in.”

“Sorry...”

“So... why are you wearing that awful old coat of Envy's?”

“He... he took my clothes...”

“And he left you with only that? Oh dear, how gross,” Lust said. She noticed Alice looking away and towards the floor. “Well, it's at least something. He could have left you nothing.”

Alice felt quite offended at this. Was she supposed to just take the humiliation just because he could have done worse?

“What comes next, then?” Alice asked, her voice seething with anger. “First he torments me. Then he humiliates me by taking my clothes that way. What will he do next? Torture me? Rape me?”

To her utter surprise, Lust burst out laughing.

“Rape? Envy?!” Lust exclaimed, still laughing. “Oh, goodness, no! You don't have to worry about that!”

“... Really?”

“Yeah. That's one thing you can be sure he wouldn't do. As for torturing you... I told you. Just don't make him angry. He won't actually hurt you unless you make him very angry. You're an important resource, after all.”

“How much longer must I stay here?”

“Not too long now.”

“Please! I can't do this anymore. I want to go home!”

“Sorry, little girl. We do need to do something before you can go home. That's just how it goes. Be a good girl in the meantime. And, please, stop wasting all this food.”

“Can you please be the one to come here instead of Envy?”

“No. You'd better learn to like him. It'll be easier on you both.”

And once more, she was gone. Learn to like Envy? This was going to be impossible. She'd probably die before she even started to like him.

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“Envy. I told you not to break that girl too much,” Lust reprimanded the younger Homunculus sometime later. Her voice was still cold, but somewhat harsher than usual.

He had just come back from Central Headquarters, from a long day of his general spying duties and had been stretching as Lust spoke. He angrily put his hands on his hips.

“Hey! Come on, I haven't even been having fun with her!”

Lust just gave him a deadpan glare.

“Okay, okay!” he exclaimed, tossing his hands up sort of defensively. “Maybe a bit! But honestly, I do have a plan to deal with her. It's not like I've got no idea what I'm doing.”

“You'd better hurry. She's not eating. She's starting to look outright unhealthy. And Father will be very mad if something happens to her.”

“Oh. Yeah. Gotta have the doctor look at her. I completely forgot.”

“You're so careless. Really, I have to wonder why you're the one given this job. So useless.”

“HEY! Don't pick a fight with me! I told you! I know what I'm doing.”

“Well, show it already. Right now she's really upset. And that's not helping her health any.”

“Yes, yes. I will.”

“I am a bit curious, though,” Lust said. “What did you tell her to make her think you might rape her? Because somehow you managed to convince her of it.”

It was Envy's turn to laugh at the idea.

“Like I'd do such a gross and human thing as that!” he exclaimed. “I don't know, maybe she's just upset because of earlier.” His face had an extremely malicious look at this point. “Humans are pretty silly sometimes.”

“They are. I will admit. It can sometimes be enjoyable to watch their pathetic emotional struggles.”

“It does make our job so much easier. Speaking of which... you're going to be leaving soon, aren't you?”

“Yes. I still have some months to keep to the schedule, but I'd rather spend them looking for the right candidate. I suppose leaving next week will be best. I have a good idea already of what to do.”

“Don't forget I gave you a few of those pointers! It should work a lot like Ishval, without being too much like it.”

“One way or the other... everything will go according to our calculations.”

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Alice had fallen asleep again, deciding that it was the best way to just... not feel anything. No anger, no humiliation, just no awareness until something happened to wake her up. Which, presently, it did: Envy's sing-song voice felt loud in the general silence.

“Get up!”

Alice groaned, but didn't move. She had to be dreaming somehow... some kind of nightmare.

“HEY! I said get up! I also told you to stay away from the bedsheets! Now those need to get washed too!”

Alice opened her eyes and, with a sinking heart, saw that it was not a dream.

“What?” she asked, still groggy. She had been quite deeply asleep.

“Get up! How many times do I have to repeat it?!” Envy snarled. Seeing that she was still dazed and not getting up quickly enough, he walked over and, with a quick motion, grabbed most of her hair and forcefully pulled her up.

Alice shrieked and more or less managed to get up, holding the coat closed to cover herself properly. Without so much as a glance, when she was finally off the bed, Envy let go of her hair pretty suddenly, and she slumped to the ground. She had gone a very long time without medication and her aching and swollen joints made it pretty impossible for her to get up. She tried to stand, but couldn't.

“Come on, you pathetic worm. I don't have all day!”

“I can't get up. I'm sorry. I feel very unwell today.”

“So I guess your body is hating you as much as you deserve, huh?” Envy said with an annoyed grin. “I'd make you crawl, but it'd waste too much time. Here, this is for wasting my time already!” With that, he swiftly pulled her up, half by an arm, half by the hair, ignoring her pained protests and actually sneering at the tears she shed.

Once she was up, she grabbed her cane and prepared to follow him, still rubbing the back of her head, quickly drying her eyes, hating the fact that she knew that smile of his meant he'd seen the tears, and he was enjoying it. She didn't dare protest. While he'd never exactly been physically violent before, he had never actually seemed so annoyed with her, until today that she'd failed to wake up quite on his cue. Lust had been right. It was not a good idea to anger him. If this was him just being annoyed by wasting a minute, she didn't want to think about what he'd do if he were truly angry.

“Well, don't keep wasting my time, then! Let's go.”

She stood watching him for a second, her jaw slightly open in shock. He was bringing her out? Where? She quickly forced herself to recover from the surprise and walked behind him. She could not walk fast, and though he seemed annoyed, he also seemed to understand there was no other option. And thus she followed him down those dreadful tunnels, keeping herself as covered as she could with that nasty old coat.

“Where are we going?” she managed to ask after a bit.

“Not outside, if that's what you're hoping for. I mean, look at you. You'd freak people out.”

“But... where?”

“We're already here.”

They had reached a long hallway with some doors. These looked different from the door her prison had. They were plain and looked more like the doors of a house rather than those of a prison or office. There were seven of them in all, too. Envy opened the fourth one.

“Get in.”

She did so, wondering what possible horrible thing Envy had in store. But to her utter surprise and amazement, there was just a room. It was very plain, with hardly any personality evident in it, aside from a few books tossed carelessly to the side of a couch. There was a bed, too, and it was very huge and solid-looking. But other than that, and a table, there was nearly nothing in it. Not a single picture, or even much in the way of color.

“Whose room is this?” she asked quietly.

“Mine.”

“Why am I here?”

“Because you're filthy. You need a bath and there's none in your room. Normally, such a luxury would be something the likes of you wouldn't deserve. But since you've been such a good girl for the most part... I'm going to let you have such a luxury,” he said with a grin.

“Th... thank you,” Alice said. She wasn't sure if he was being kind or if he was just making another nasty comment about her supposed stench, but thanking him seemed the safest choice.

“I left the basket with your clean clothes inside the bathroom. Leave my coat inside. And if you're out before I'm back, I don't want you touching anything of mine. Find some corner on the floor, out of the way and stay there. Don't try to get out of this room. I've asked Gluttony to bite off your feet and hands if you do. And trust me, he'll know.”

With that, he left, leaving a horrified Alice to think about that threat. She wouldn't even try to test her luck with that. She already knew that freakish-looking large man WOULD kill and eat her if he had permission to. Maybe even if he didn't. Whichever the case, she just didn't want to find out.

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Surely, there had never been anything so wonderful as that bath, Alice felt. As much as she hated Envy, she was nothing short of thankful that she was allowed to take a luxury such as this. The water was as warm as she liked it, and despite having almost nothing in the way of personality in the room outside, it seemed Envy did keep some wonderful-smelling soaps, and she hadn't even been told to hurry up, so she assumed she could basically take as long as she wanted. For once since she'd been living in this forsaken place, she felt almost happy. She could almost feel her appetite returning.

She was still enjoying this luxury, after what had to be a fairly long time, when there was a really heavy knock on the door. Her heart sank. This could only mean one thing. Envy was back.

“You're still in there?! You haven't drowned have you?!” he called, seemingly surprised.

“I'm here! I'm not drowned!” she replied.

“Well, get out of there already! Quick now, before I go in and drag you out!”

Alice sighed, but she complied, getting dressed as quickly as she could, hating to leave behind the first real luxury she'd had for a long while. At least her clothes were clean and soft, and it was far better than that smelly old coat Envy'd made her wear. Her skin looked wrinkled from all the time she'd spent in the water, but she didn't mind. She just hated that Envy had come back to take that luxury from her. She left the bathroom, only to find him sitting on the couch. It had to be a very soft couch, judging from how he sank into it. He looked pretty comfortable.

“About time! I brought your food here. Sit down and eat.”

She did so, but she didn't really feel like eating much anymore. She mostly fiddled with the food as Envy, quite unnervingly, watched her. He had something between a bored and a worried expression. She didn't dare tell him it made her uncomfortable to have those slitted purple eyes fixed on her. She managed to eat a bite of her food and then kept fiddling with the fork.

“You really need to keep your strength up,” he said. “You're thinner now. And you look ill.”

“I do not have my medication. I am ill,” she replied simply.

“Is that why your face is so red? You're not blushing. A fever?”

“No. It's just a thing that happens when I'm sick,” she replied. “My face gets red, like some kind of rash. Some people say it looks like a butterfly.”

“Yeah? How pathetic, really, humans like you. And you, especially. I've met plenty of weaklings. But you're really something else.”

She put down her fork at that. She quite felt like stabbing Envy with it, she really did. And if she didn't put down the fork, she would surely try to do that. Heck, she'd stab him with a spoon at this point. She could see him getting a slight, yet eager grin. Could he really read her emotions?

“What's that? Are you done eating already? You've barely eaten anything,” he said, still grinning. “Now, now. I'm starting to lose my patience over this.” His grin was gone and his eyes narrowed, the slitted pupils becoming more evident... and alarming. “You will eat. At the very least half of it. If you don't, I'm going to forcefully shove it all down your throat.” He smiled again, in a very friendly way. “It doesn't matter if I wreck your throat in the attempt. We do have the means to heal that, after all”

She gave him a wide-eyed stare, but he was still giving her a big smile. Except the eyes didn't look so friendly anymore. He was watching her very carefully, almost eagerly. She picked up the fork. There was no doubt in her mind that he was quite eager to fulfill that threat. She forced herself to eat, even though it took her a while to manage to finish half of the food. Immediately after she was done with that, she put the fork down.

“Much better! See, now, obeying me isn't so hard, is it?” he asked, once more giving her a friendly smile, which then turned into a really cruel grin. “What would be hard is to disobey me. For you, at least.”

She gripped the fork tightly as he said that, glaring at his general direction, since she no longer could stand looking into his eyes, much less in any sort of defiance. But she looked furious now. She couldn't stand his condescension and general cruelty anymore.

“Ah? My, my, you look like you want to get violent!” he exclaimed in his general singsong way. In a quick, graceful motion, he had stood up from the couch, moved over to her, and quickly grabbed her by the throat. He pulled her to her feet and pushed her harshly into the nearest wall. His slitted eyes were cruel as he kept her pinned to the wall by the throat. He was very close to her, his nose almost touching hers and his eyes bore straight into her terrified gaze. His voice was low and menacing. “Doesn't matter what you do, insect. You can't do anything against me. You want to stab me? I dare you. Try it. But I will break you.”

She was barely able to breathe, and desperately trying to struggle free from his grasp. He was too strong, though, and quickly, she switched to trying to push him away from her. Her fear turned into pure terror when she realized that she simply couldn't. He was small; just her height. And he was so thin that one could see the bones in his bare midriff, especially when he stretched. And yet, she could not push the wispy jailer away from her. He felt incredibly solid. Her efforts to move him seemed as futile as trying to move a wall. There wasn't the slightest flinch from him.

“Lust told me what you fear I'll do to you,” he continued, his nose outright touching hers now, his grin back, but only in a cruel manner. “Rape. Isn't that a thing young girls like you fear above most other things?”

He paused for a moment, apparently to enjoy the increasingly horrified look that Alice was giving him.

“I don't do disgusting human things like that,” he said. “But trust me, little insect. I don't NEED to. I can break you perfectly well with just my bare hands. And I assure you... I can think of worse things to do. Much, much worse.”

Alice felt like she was about to faint. She could barely focus on him anymore, and the colors were fading from her vision. He suddenly let go of her, and she crumpled to the floor.

“Of course, if you behave yourself... everything will be easier for you.”

She could barely hear him now. She heard his voice again, but couldn't make out the words. She vaguely felt him picking her up from the floor and then everything faded to black.


	5. Unwanted Decisions

## Chapter 5 - Unwanted Decisions

Her whole head felt like it was buzzing and she felt really unwell when she finally woke up a while later. She was haphazardly lying on the couch in Envy's room. Her first thought was that it wasn't anywhere near as soft as it had seemed when Envy was sitting on it. She still found it a bit hard to breathe and she felt strangely confused. She tried getting up, though she felt very lightheaded the moment she moved.

“Get back down,” came that hated voice, though he seemed almost bored. “If you get up quickly, you'll faint again. And if you do, I'll just leave you on the floor this time.”

She looked around, seeing him at the table where she had been eating before he had pinned her to the wall. All of a sudden, she remembered his words and his implied threats. And she realized she'd been unconscious for a while. Horror gripped her as her dazed mind began to go over the possibilities.

“What did you do to me?!” she demanded. Her voice was still hoarse from being pinned so harshly by the throat, but she didn't really care right now.

“Huh?”

“What did you do?! While I was unconscious?!”

He gave her a questioning and scornful look for a moment, then realized what she meant. He gave her a small grin, full of disdain.

“Pfft. You think I raped you, is that it?”

She didn't answer, but her increasingly horrified look was all the answer he needed.

“How pathetic! I told you. I don't do disgusting human things like that.”

“So... what... what did you do while I was out?”

“I picked you up from the floor and tossed you on the couch.”

She had no doubt that he meant the 'tossed' part quite literally.

“Nothing else?”

“No. You're really boring when you're unconscious. By the way, you just missed the doctor.”

“Doctor?”

“Yeah. Came to take a look at you, since you mentioned you were so sick and all. He said you really were, and that he can't cure you from it. But he could remove the symptoms. For a while at least. He says they'll come back. I guess your body just can't stop hating you, even with the doctor's help.”

She flexed her hands. It was true. The pain was gone and they moved perfectly well. She was quite amazed. Her mind was becoming clearer now, too. She sat up slowly. The first thing that she noticed was that the food she'd left was mostly gone now. Envy must have eaten it, though someone so thin didn't seem like the kind of person that'd eat someone else's food. Thin... except...

“Can I ask you something?” she asked after she'd mustered up the courage.

“Yeah, sure,” Envy replied with a half-curious look.

“When you had me pinned to the wall... why... why couldn't I push you away?”

He gave her an odd look for a second, half curious, half annoyed.

“I told you. You're a pathetic weakling.”

“It doesn't matter how weak you think I am. You should have budged at least! But you didn't.”

“I'm a bit more solid than I look.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, now, that would be telling, wouldn't it?” Envy said with a grin as he got up and stretched. “You seem to be doing fine now. It's time to go back to your room. You've stayed in mine long enough.”

“But...”

“But what? You want to stay here with me~? Well, that is quite flattering~!”

“No!”

“What? You don't?” Envy asked in mock offense. “Well, THAT'S quite rude!”

“I didn't say that!!” Alice exclaimed, quite anxious at the mere thought of annoying Envy again.

Envy laughed, apparently quite amused at her reaction.

“Well, what do you say? Wouldn't you just love to stay here, quite close to me~? Or are you going to be rude and refuse my company~?”

Alice stared at him in a very distraught way. She would much rather stay far away from him, but if she said that... what if he was offended? If he was offended enough, he might hurt her, or pin her to the wall again or... well... whatever he did would be nasty. If she stayed, he might be flattered, and an Envy in a good mood was at least a tolerable Envy. But then she'd have to stay closer to him longer, and that could lead to more chances for him to get angry at something... or just be plain cruel as he seemed to enjoy being. It was an agonizing decision, but in the end, she had to go with the one that apparently gave the least probability of pain.

“I'll... I'll stay,” she managed to stammer out.

“Smart choice~!” Envy said. He was grinning from ear to ear, and even though it wasn't the nicest grin, he did seem genuinely amused. “Well, then, you've decided, and it's settled~! I'll be back in just a bit, then. I do have important work to do for Father, after all~! Don't forget... don't even try to leave the room. Gluttony is always hungry~!”

With that, he left. He seemed quite giddy, almost having a spring to his step as he walked out. Alice began to really, really regret this decision. That much amusement and happiness in that Homunculus could simply not bode well for her.

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“Really, Lust? Bunnies?” Envy asked Lust several hours later, while looking at 2 crocheted figures next to her, and the third she was almost done with.

“Don't be silly. One is a rabbit. The other is a dog. This one's a cat.” Lust replied.

“I don't get it. Why do you make those things?”

“It's a hobby, I suppose,” Lust said with a shrug. “They make good chewing toys for chimeras, too. I gave a few to Gluttony, but of course he ate them. So now I bought him a cookbook... but he's got the wrong idea of how to use it...”

She gestured across the room and Envy looked over to see Gluttony sitting on the floor, looking at a large cookbook with pictures. The simple, fat man was preoccupied with looking at the pictures... then tearing out the page and, of course, eating it. Envy slapped his face with his palm.

“He's hopeless. And so are you with this weird hobby of yours.”

“Sure beats yours. Reading comic books? So useless!”

“Hey! It's not like it's all I ever do!”

“Still useless. Speaking of which, how's your pet? Still alive? Gluttony says he could smell her in your room. What in the world did you put her there for?”

“I told you. I know what I'm doing.” Envy said with a huge grin. “Can you believe it? She's really terrified of me. I mean, every time I so much as look at her, she practically squirms with fear! It's so wonderful~! And yet listen to this! I just actually made her choose to stay with me longer. With me! Rather than alone! This is so great~!”

“Ahh... I think I know what you're doing. Not bad, I suppose.”

“Not bad? It's great~! Getting to watch the fear and all the raw emotions~!” Envy exclaimed. He paused for a moment, extending his hand towards Lust. He was wearing a ring with a large, round red stone. He removed it and placed it on his hand. “Oh yeah. I brought you this. For your mission.”

“Well, this certainly will help,” Lust said with a grin, taking the ring. “How many?”

“I don't know. Five or ten or maybe fifteen” Envy shrugged. “We did have several death row prisoners to use.”

“Well... it does look like it'll be enough either way. I'll put it to good use.”

“This'll lure anyone, I'm sure~!” Envy smiled.

“Where did you get the idea to make it a ring, though?”

“Well... you needed a way for someone to hide it in plain sight, right? Well, while I was waiting for the little wimpy brat to wake up, I noticed she had a ring with a ruby on it. And, well, it seemed to be a great idea, so I asked Father to put the Stone into a ring.”

“Not a bad idea. I like it. It will work wonderfully.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The time Alice spent alone in the room was the most uncomfortable time she'd had yet. She didn't know when Envy would be back, and though the “guest room” was far less comfortable, at least it was “hers”. She felt like an intruder and barely dared to move lest Envy returned, decided she was invading his personal space too much and attacked her. She barely dared to move away from the couch, and only stayed there because he'd been the one to put her there. As was usual when she had nothing to do, she ended up sleeping most of that time, but her sleep was restless and any small noise woke her up immediately.

Much to Envy's amusement, she almost fell off the couch when she jumped up in surprise and fear when he finally opened the door. She further freaked out when she saw that Envy didn't exactly have two arms anymore. There was his left arm, quite normal. But his right arm turned green around the middle and separated into two arms, each carrying a tray. Alice covered her mouth instinctively as if to stop herself from screaming, her eyes wide as she let out something between a gasp and a shriek. Envy simply set down the two trays at the table, and then his mutant-looking arm contracted and twisted back into its normal shape and color, the typical arcs of electric-looking red energy accompanying the transformation.

“Dinner's here,” he said calmly as he sat down on the table.

“W... what was... that...?” Alice stammered, pointing at his arm.

He gave her somewhat of a glare. “What do you mean WHAT was that? Besides, don't be stupid. I already showed you that I can change my form. I can change parts of my form too.”

“But why... green?”

“Why not?”

“It looks disg- er, I mean...” Alice stammered as Envy's eyes narrowed dangerously, apparently correctly predicting the word she was initially going to use.

“It looks... what?” he asked, his voice low and threatening.

“Um... it... looks this... g... green. And... uh... all... plant-like. Like... broccoli. Yes.”

Envy looked at her for a few seconds with an almost surprised look on his face. Then he burst out laughing.

“You're truly a coward,” he scoffed. “But I guess you also know your place. Now. Come and sit down. Eat.”

“I'm not-” Alice began.

“It's not a question, it's an order. Sit down. Eat.”

She looked into his eyes for a second. There was no amusement or anything resembling any good feelings in them, merely a serious, nasty expression. She did as she was told. Only then did his expression soften slightly into cruel glee.

“There, much better. I'm sure that in time, you'll sit up and beg, too,” he said with a very happy grin.

“Enough! That's enough! I'm not a dog or something like that, I'm a person!” Alice blurted out. “Stop treating me like an animal or something!”

The amusement was instantly replaced with a cold glare.

“And what makes you think you're in any position to make any sort of demand? Do you forget? You are far from home, and you don't even know where you are, or where your home even is. No one can help you but us. You followed us here! You accepted, CHOSE our help. You could have declined my generous offer to help you. But you didn't! And now you outright depend on us, especially on ME if you ever want to see your home again, or even to stay alive!” He leaned forward slightly towards her. “Did you forget this? Do you realize who is the one that has kept you alive all this time? You seem to be working on the assumption that we will do anything to keep you alive... but you're mistaken, little girlie. We don't want to lose you, it's true. But understand this. We CAN afford to lose you. And we WILL if you become more of a liability than a benefit.” He was grinning in an almost manic way now. “And guess who is the one who gets to judge whether you're a liability? Yes, little human. It's me. I get to report to Father whether you're a problem or not. In the end... I get to decide whether you live or die. So what will it be? What's more important? Your life? Or your pride? I'm curious to see what you will choose. If you choose to live, you'll have to live with being my pet or toy, or whatever you want to call it. If you choose your pride... it won't take long for me to decide that you're too much of a liability... and then I will get to kill you. I like killing, little girl. I especially like killing slowly, enjoying every last bit of agony. So make your choice. Tell me. Will you choose to live or will you choose your pride?”

The more he had spoken, the more Alice cowered. By the end of his speech, she was just staring at him in horror, leaning as far back on the chair as she could, her shoulders hunched. He was right. She couldn't escape. She depended entirely on him to live, and even to stay sane. There weren't any other options, really. She could defy him and he would kill her, and it might be horrible, but in the end, that would be it. She would not hurt anymore. Or she could bear it. She could manage to survive until she went home. She didn't want to die, after all. She was young and she wanted to live. If it meant she had to deal with Envy... so be it. She'd survived this far already. How much worse could it be?

“I... I want to live,” she managed to gasp.

He gave her a huge grin.

“Interesting! Now, remember... it was YOUR choice. Don't try to go back on it now.”

She just nodded in reply.

“Now. Eat.”

She did so. The food was remarkably better than what she'd eaten before, but she didn't really comment on that. What she did find strange was that he was actually eating here, rather than... wherever else these people ate. They should have some sort of dining room or something. They obviously had a kitchen. She didn't think it'd be dangerous to ask him about it.

“Do you always eat here?” she asked meekly.

“No. Just today.”

“Why? If... if it's okay to ask.”

“Well. We had a few chimeras die today,” Envy said. He looked vaguely nauseated by what he was thinking. “Gluttony decided to dispose of them. During dinner.”

“So... that's why you came here?”

“Yeah, have you ever tried eating a nice dinner while Gluttony is eating dead chimeras? Normally I'd just lose my appetite and not eat a thing, but today was different. Father was the one who made dinner, and that's a rare treat. So I came here instead,” he said with a shrug. “At least as long as you're not crying or being all sappy or whatever emotional ways you humans get, you're less disgusting than THAT.”

Well. At least she was being considered less disgusting than a creepy guy eating monster corpses, even if only when she wasn't being emotional. It was quite a stretch, but she decided to consider it a compliment, if for no other reason than it was better for her mental health to do so. She managed to finish about half her meal before she stopped.

“Finish it.”

“I can't! I barely move all day, I'm not hungry. I'm going to get all fat if I eat all this without doing anything all day.”

“If you get too fat, I'll just put you on a diet. Simple. But whatever. Gluttony's fat and he's fine, so I don't see the problem. Now eat.”

Not willing to annoy Envy again, she forced herself to finish the rest of the meal. She felt vaguely ill, but it was better than being attacked or something. After they'd both finished, he grabbed the trays and plates and started to head out of the room.

“Make yourself useful for once and clean the table, will you, wimp?” he said as he left. “There's a rag next to the sink.”

Alice looked at the table. It was already clean. What an odd request. But she couldn't afford to do anything that'd make him upset. She did as she was told, even though she hated taking orders from him. How long had she even been here, with these people, anyways? And how much longer did she need to stay here? Surely, any day now, they'd keep their end of their deal and take her home. She could hardly wait.

It didn't take long for Envy to come back to his room. He seemed almost pleased, though he didn't say much then, apparently deciding that the best way to end his day was to go and take a relaxing bath. Alice was glad to get a slightly longer break from him as he locked himself in the bathroom and took a very, very long bath. When he finally emerged, he seemed to be in a very calm and good mood. Alice quietly thanked the heavens for that. If he was in a good mood, her stay here might at least be tolerable. He headed straight for bed, which Alice also thanked the heavens for.

“Go to sleep, wimp. Tomorrow will be a long day for us,” he said, apparently stifling a yawn and sitting on the bed.

Alice couldn't help noticing how much he sank into the mattress. Just like the couch in which she barely sank. Just how much DID he weigh?!

“Where?”

“Floor. Couch. Table. Bathtub. Bed. I don't care,” Envy said, getting comfortable in the middle of the bed, stretching. “So long as you don't bother me!”

She was not about to get any closer to him than she needed to, so the bed was definitely out of the question. The bathtub and the table were really ridiculous options, so she wasn't taking that, either. She wasn't about to sleep on the floor, either. So that left the couch, even though there were no bedsheets or anything to cover herself with. Nights did sometimes get cold. But there was hardly another choice. She curled up on the couch and tried her best to sleep, even though she was extremely nervous spending her night in the jailer's room. What if he was planning something nasty? And why was he saying that the next day would be long for her too? What was he planning to do?


	6. The Surprise

## Chapter 6 - The Surprise

“Rise and shine, little wimp~! I told you we'd be quite busy today~!”

Alice groaned. She'd had a truly dreadful night. Not only had she worried the whole time about what could happen to her, but though the couch was relatively comfortable, she'd been quite cold and never quite managed to get comfortable enough. Not to mention, it really felt early. Apparently she didn't get up fast enough for Envy's liking, because she soon felt him taking a hold of her arm and then pulling her off the couch. She yelped as she hit the floor, but had little choice but to get up. Fortunately, she was still feeling fairly well since the doctor had healed her, so she didn't need to rely on the jailer to get back to her feet. She still cast a resentful look at him, but he didn't seem to notice it.

“Breakfast isn't ready yet, but you need to be presentable, so get working on that. Go take a bath, and when I'm back, you'll eat. Afterward, I have a little surprise for you.”

He left quickly, leaving her to wonder what in the world he meant by “surprise”. Something awful, no doubt. He seemed rather gleeful, after all. With a sigh, she decided to make the best of the situation. She'd stayed long enough in this room, and was likely to be thrown back to her cell, so she couldn't even know how long it'd be before she was again allowed the luxury of a bath. She didn't take too long this time, though, unwilling to give the jailer a chance at dragging her out or otherwise finding some way to do something nasty like that. She hated trouble, and he seemed to constantly look for ways to cause her that. Not only that, but she found him absolutely terrifying. She was still having a hard time believing he could actually change forms, but she'd seen him at it. She had also felt how heavy and strong he was when he'd pinned her to the wall. By his own admission, he wasn't even human. He was... some kind of monster. And since she was in the monster's lair, she'd best keep it happy.

He was back sooner than she would have thought or hoped he would be. He was carrying a single tray this time. He didn't seem too happy when he came in, but grinned when he saw her already obediently sitting on the couch, waiting for him.

"Well, well! You must be quite eager to see your surprise! So thoughtful, too, not making me waste time~!" Envy said as he set down the tray on the table. "Now, hurry up and finish that. And make sure you don't waste anything. We do have a long day."

He went straight to sit right next to her on the couch. He was so close that his hair tickled her arm. It didn't help that he sank so much into the couch. Almost as though she were scalded, she stood up and went to sit at the table. He just grinned. She was even less hungry than she'd been before, so she hardly touched her breakfast. She just took a few bites before she pushed the tray away.

"Do you remember what I said the last time you tried that?" Envy asked with a frown and a very serious face.

"Yes..."

"And... what was it I said, little wimp?"

"That... you'd... shove the food down my throat if I didn't finish it..."

"That's right! You'll eat that. Or, what, do you want me to chew it for you? I can do that too~!"

Practically green with nausea, Alice tried picking another piece of the breakfast, but she felt her stomach turn. She must have looked very nauseated because Envy's face changed entirely from his smug grin to an outright worried look, and he held out his hands as if signaling her to stop.

"Alright, alright! If you don't want to eat I'll let you off the hook. This time only! Just... don't make a mess here!" he exclaimed. "Geez. You'd think someone like Gluttony is the one that tried getting you to eat. Well, we don't really have time to waste anyways. Let's go."

With a relieved sigh, Alice got up, just as Envy picked up the tray again. He seemed frustrated, and had even clenched his free hand into a fist. She picked up her cane and followed him. He didn't seem to be leading her back to the tunnels that led to her, well, prison. Instead, she was led deeper into the lair, into a room filled with cages. There were monsters of all sorts, mutant creatures that seemed to be animals that had been mixed in all sorts of ways. Her eyes were wide. Were these the creatures that would supposedly kill her if she tried to escape? Envy quickly tossed the breakfast leftovers into a cage with an ugly dog-like thing. The creature immediately began to devour the food, but Envy didn't bother to stay. He walked straight towards the exit. Seeing that Alice was not moving from the shock and horror of seeing these things properly for the first time, he just started shoving her towards the exit, not too harshly, but very firmly.

"Come on, you idiot, let's go. They're just chimeras, it's not like they're much to look at!"

Once more, he led her deeper into the lair, this time stopping by a sink to toss the plates and silverware in. It was in a simple sort of kitchen. There was a large table that would sit eight people there too. She didn't have much of a time to look at that, though, since he'd hardly finished tossing the plates into the sink when he was already leading Alice out. This time, they passed the room where she had first met their father in. She walked a little more slowly, trying to see if the strange man was there. He didn't seem to be sitting in the throne-like spot at the middle, though.

"Are you going to gawk at everything?!" Envy snapped. "Father isn't here right now anyways!"

"S... sorry!" Alice gasped, trying to hurry up to keep pace with Envy.

She had given up trying to make sense of the maze-like corridors. All she cared about was that, after a while of walking, they came to some stairs. There was a closed door at the top. Envy stopped at the base of the stairs. He took a long and hard look at her before his body began to give off the arcs of red energy that always signaled his changing shape. Alice watched once more as his body morphed, turning into a pretty well-endowed feminine figure, and his hair thickening and changing color until it was a soft brown. His clothes changed, too, and he was wearing a blouse with a fairly low neckline, and a skirt that didn't quite reach his knees.

"Well, how do I look?" he asked with a grin.

Alice was just looking at him in horror. She doubted she'd ever get used to the freaky shape-shifting. She just nodded politely. Envy frowned.

"What kind of answer is that? Are you too stupid to speak?"

"I... I meant... you look good. Yeah."

Envy made a derisive sound, but dropped the topic. He simply motioned for Alice to follow him up the stairs, which she did with some difficulty. As soon as he opened the door at the top of the stairs, Alice gasped. For the first time in far longer than she knew, she was seeing natural light from the sky. He was taking her outside! The feeling of elation allowed her to climb up the stairs a lot faster than she would have done otherwise, and she nearly ran outside, looking around and taking deep breaths of the fresh air.

"You'd think you haven't seen the outside for a month or two," Envy said scornfully, then gave a nasty grin "Oh, wait, that's kind of true, isn't it?"

"Are you letting me go?" she asked, incredulously, daring to hope for a moment.

As a response Envy burst out laughing, a cold, cruel laughter that sent chills down her spine. It took him almost a minute to actually be able to speak again, and he was still doing so in between small fits of laughter.

"Let you go?! Hahahahah! What would make you think something as stupid as THAT?!" He put an arm around her shoulders. "Like it or not, as long as you're not a liability, you're stuck with us. And don't even get any funny ideas like trying to run away." His voice turned low and menacing. "If you try to do that... I'll teach you what pain means."

She flinched at his touch, which he seemed to enjoy, given the eager look in his eyes, but he let go of her pretty quickly. Unsure of how to react to his threat, though, she just kept close to him, though doing her best to stay just out of his reach.

"Now. Try to look normal. If people see that spooked face of yours, they're going to think something is wrong. And you don't want to cause me problems by giving THAT impression, do you?"

"No, sir. Not at all."

"… As long as I'm in this disguise, don't call me a sir, either. You're such an idiot! Let's see... what name shall I pick... ah, right. Call me..." he coughed a bit, and then his voice changed entirely, into a very girly voice. "Becky. That will do great for this disguise."

"Alright. Um... Becky," Alice managed to say. Her throat still felt dry, and she was still very creeped out by Envy's shape and voice changing like that.

He grinned, still his normal, cruel grin.

"Well, then, let's go shopping!" he exclaimed, still in that bubbly girly voice he was going to be using as 'Becky'.

"… Shopping?" Alice asked, though mostly to herself. She probably didn't want to know.

She followed Envy, whose mannerisms had entirely changed. Had she not seen him transform, she would have never guessed that the bubbly and sweet girl walking next to her, who smiled and looked so innocent, could possibly be the jailer that had been keeping her captive so long. The way this 'Becky' walked and smiled definitely attracted attention, some of it flirty. And she'd smile back in the same flirty manner. She was the perfect picture of a social butterfly, looking for attention. Alice wondered if Envy was doing this on purpose, trying to keep the attention of people on him rather than on the miserable Alice. Despite her attempts, she was sure she didn't look anywhere near as happy as Envy had wanted her to look. She had once been a lot more energetic than this, but the time she'd spent with Envy had taken care of that.

The first place they stopped at was a clothes store. It was a pretty big and stylish place, even though, perhaps due to the hour, it was fairly empty. There were clothes of all kinds, though all were female fashions. They looked almost unreal to Alice, since they were different from the things she was used to seeing back home. Some things were similar, to be sure, but the styles were really strange to her in many ways. Most of the clothes were quite simple, really, consisting of many types of blouses, skirts and pants, in a large variety of colors, even if most were relatively subdued. Back at home, she’d often seen more bold colors in the clothes, but at least in this store, that seemed to be missing. And even though she was no stranger to blouses and tops and pants and skirts, the styles were just not the same. The patterns on some of the clothes were things she’d never seen before, and the cuts were slightly different. She was honestly surprised how different things could really look when the changes were actually fairly subtle. She barely registered Envy picking up quite a few clothes, though she stayed close to him, lest he figured she was trying to run away. The prospect of doing so, though, was almost appealing.

"Alright. You're going to try all these clothes on!" Envy, or rather 'Becky', announced after he'd grabbed so many that it was hard to hold any more.

"All of those?!"

"Yep! There's fitting rooms in the back. Come on."

Alice was led to the back of the store where the fitting rooms were. There was a chair and Envy sat on that after handing the bunch of clothes to Alice.

"I'll need to see each and every one of those. Now get to it. There's more that needs to be done," Envy said, his 'Becky' voice friendly enough, yet quiet.

With a sigh, Alice went into the dressing room, and proceeded to try on each outfit Envy had chosen for her. Some were too colorful, others too drab, some too conservative, others far too revealing, even for her. And after she put each on, she'd step out, often to meet Envy's mocking gaze. When people approached, he seemed so terribly friendly. But as long as no one was there, he would give her the most mocking gaze, making her feel as though she really didn't have anything on. He seemed to highly enjoy her obvious discomfort, as it seemed that every time she seemed especially displeased, he seemed much more pleased. Much as she wanted to scream and run away, she knew it was futile. So she simply kept trying on each and every outfit until she was done, and came back out of the dressing room in her own clothes.

"What was this for?"

"You'll see~!" Envy replied with a rather cute smile. "Alright. Let me see those clothes..."

She held them out to him and he picked five of them, then left the others. Alice felt almost confused. He was really going to take these? He headed straight to the cashier and indeed paid for them, being all smiles with the clerk. After the bag was given to him, he handed it over to Alice, who took them, her face rather confused.

"Really... what's this about?" she asked again after they left the clothes shop.

"It's a little surprise from me and Father," he replied quietly, with a cold grin. "I'll tell you everything later, after we've gotten everything we need."

He kept moving, and Alice just followed. She had no idea how to even react. Why in the world did he need to get her clothes? What was this about? She couldn't really fathom his intentions, and that worried her much more than knowing for sure he was trying to do something nasty. At least that was always quite expected. But this? Not so much!

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It seemed to Alice that wherever Envy was taking her must be on the other side of the city. It had been a long time since she had walked so much, and it was even more tiring since she was carrying the bag with the clothes that had been bought. The amount of walking gave her enough time to look around at the city and its rather quaint looks. But mostly it gave her a lot of time to think, and there was something that kept bugging her, perhaps more than it should. Back in the clothes store, Envy had picked a very large amount of clothes for her to try out. As much as she had wanted to think that he had just picked them all randomly, well, the fact remained that all of them were pretty much the right size. How he had so accurately guessed it felt... rather creepy to her. Eventually, she just had to ask him.

"How did you just guess the correct size for my clothing?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, tsk," Envy said disdainfully, though still using his 'Becky' voice. "That's easy. Do you think I would be so great at disguising myself if I couldn't accurately judge the exact size of whoever I look at?"

"So... just by looking at someone... you remember... everything about them?"

"That's right!"

"Wow..." she mumbled.

He grinned at her quiet expression of awe, seemingly flattered. Alice was actually quite impressed. That feat meant he had some kind of photographic memory and she found that quite amazing. She hated the fact that she actually was feeling any kind of admiration for him, but she couldn't really help it.

He kept her walking for a very long time before they finally stopped at another store. This time, it was a shoe store. A saleswoman offered her help, but Envy politely declined it. As for Alice, she was only happy that she would get to sit down while trying on the shoes. She was exhausted. They must have been walking for well over two hours now. She really didn't want to admit that she was also starting to get a little hungry, but the walking was really getting to her. She sat down while Envy picked a large amount of shoes for her to try out. Not wanting to make a fuss with so many people looking, she obediently tried on every pair of shoes he brought her, even though most of them were really not her style and he was even making her try out high heels, which, due to her illness, she didn't wear. She didn't use a cane just for show, after all. She just hoped Envy wouldn't force her to try wearing those.

"I... um... E-I mean Becky... you know I can't wear high heels, right?" she ventured to ask.

"It's fine~!" Envy replied in the 'Becky' voice. "All we need is to get shoes that look nice, and if they have heels, we'll get them fixed later."

"Fixed how?"

"You'll see~! But keep trying them on. I think I have a good idea of which ones I'll want you to take."

She complied, bitterly noting how it was almost starting to become easy to just do whatever he told her to do. A couple of months ago, she would have bitterly complained that someone else would be getting to choose anything for her in this way, ordering her around, getting her to wear things that weren't even her style, and not even bothering to try to fit her style. She would have refused to let someone drag her all over a city for errands that she honestly wanted no part in. She wouldn't have believed anyone would practically control her with glares and threats. She would have laughed if anyone suggested that she would meekly follow orders from someone like Envy. And yet, here she was, trying out whatever clothes and shoes he thought to make her try out, feeling like she was some kind of doll, being dressed up to someone else's liking. For a moment, she felt an intense self-hatred, for letting herself be controlled this way. But the next moment, she just felt nothing. If the worst that Envy ever did to her was make her try on clothes, then she was lucky. She was alive, after all, and still was on the right track to getting back home. As for Envy, he'd only ever really been nasty the times she'd provoked him... right?

"What are you thinking about?" Envy asked her. It took a moment for Alice to quite process who was talking, as he was still using the 'Becky' voice and mannerisms.

"Huh? Oh, um... nothing," she replied. She hadn't realized she'd kind of spaced out while thinking about those things.

"Well, we should go! I've chosen the best shoes for you, and I just paid for them, too, so we're ready to go!"

"Are we going... back?"

"No, not yet."

"How much longer are we going to be walking?"

"A while. I told you we'd be busy today~!"

Alice sighed. It was true. But with shoes and clothes... their shopping was over, right? What else could they be missing when it came to that? As the obvious answer came to her, her face went red. She might have several changes of clothing, but, well, that was just the over-garments. The under-garments... she would need that too, but she didn't want to bring that up. Of course, Envy was quick to catch her blush.

"Well, you can't tell me you're thinking of nothing this time."

"Well... um... these clothes and shoes... who are they for?" she asked as she got up to follow Envy outside.

"What a silly question! They're measured for your size and you're the one trying them on. You don't think they're for ME, do you?" Envy's voice was quiet, so only Alice would hear.

"Well, um... it's just... well, we're not buying more clothes, right?"

"Nope. This should be it for that. It's all you need, right?"

"Well... it's just... there's actually other kinds of clothes I would need..."

"… Huh...?"

"Yeah... um... under those clothes..."

Envy looked entirely confused and even a tad uncomfortable. Alice could hardly believe it. Was she really one-upping the jailer?

"Alright. We'll look at that later," he grumbled, almost breaking out of the 'Becky' voice. "But that will be on the way back. For now... we have other errands to take care of."

Alice nodded and kept following 'Becky'. But a bit of her spirit was back. Had she really managed to make Envy uncomfortable? Could she really one-up him? Maybe her situation wasn't as hopeless as she'd thought...


	7. Defiance

## Chapter 7 - Defiance

Envy had not been joking when he said that they'd have a busy day. He kept walking seemingly all over the city, and, of course, Alice had to follow him. Even though the errand seemed pointless to her, as Envy just seemed to walk around aimlessly, she didn't really dare to question it. She didn't want to provoke him. After all, he seemed almost distracted, and this was right after she had managed to make him look uncomfortable. She couldn't waste this opportunity. If she provoked him, and that gave him his focus back, she would be losing the ground she'd gained. She couldn't let that happen.

It seemed like hours before he finally allowed her to sit down at a sort of café. She was very relieved.. She had, after all, been very, very hungry for a while now. She wondered if he'd actually let her eat anything she wanted, or if he'd want to control that too. But then again, he did seem distracted still, not quite paying attention to her. When the waiter went to ask for their order, he only ordered, still as 'Becky', his own meal. Alice took charge again and asked for one of the more expensive lunches. Might as well take advantage of this. Envy didn't seem to notice. He seemed rather busy, either thinking about something, or perhaps watching or listening to something around here. Whatever it was, it was keeping him distracted from Alice, and she was quite glad about this.

When the food arrived, he still seemed rather absent-minded as he ate it. Alice couldn't help wondering what had him so distracted. It was only until a while after she was done eating that he finally gave a small snort of frustration and turned back to her.

"What was that about?" she asked cautiously, wondering if she even should ask.

"None of your business, girl," Envy snapped. "What a waste of time..."

He began to eat more quickly, at least at a normal pace, rather than the slow pace he was using before. Though Alice knew he wouldn't answer why he was so distracted, she still wondered what this shopping spree was really about. She wondered if he'd answer something about that.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked meekly, knowing that such a tone would be more likely to get her somewhere with him.

"What?"

"What's this... whole thing about? You said this whole shopping trip is about some surprise from you and your father. What is it?"

"Oh, that. I'll tell you later. This is not a good place to be talking about that."

Well. That sounded ominous. He must have seen the worry on her face, since his frustrated face gave way to a small grin. She really hated how good he seemed to be at reading her face, especially when it came to negative emotions. It felt intrusive somehow, especially with the way he seemed to so eagerly enjoy causing her to feel uncomfortable.

"Well, now. It's time to head back. And... I guess we'll have to pick those... other clothes you say you need."

She nodded. He still seemed uncomfortable with that idea, and this pleased her. She was a bit scared, though, as he asked for the bill. She was now wondering if asking for the most expensive thing she found in the menu had been an especially smart idea. He took the bill with a 'Becky' kind of smile, but as soon as the waitress turned around, he actually bothered to look at it. His glare was much more eloquent than any words he could have chosen, though he said nothing as he paid, left no tip, and motioned for her to follow him.

Alice got up and followed him quietly. She was relieved that he hadn't mentioned anything about the bill. Maybe he hadn't noticed that she'd done that simply as a small kind of rebellion. Or so she hoped, anyways. If he'd noticed and done nothing about it yet, it could mean something absolutely awful was in store for her. After all... it wasn't like he could really do much in front of all these people. She figured that if he had that kind of freedom, he wouldn't have to disguise himself to go out like this. It made sense to her, at least.

But he did seem slightly annoyed as they walked. Though his eyes were still the same color he'd picked for 'Becky', the pupils weren't exactly round anymore. It was not really noticeable at a distance, but she did notice it for a moment when she turned to glance at his face, trying to figure out how much trouble she was in. She was quite tempted to make a run for it, but as much as she wanted to, she just couldn't. There was no better place than here to make a run for it... but she found herself just continuing to follow him, walking for hours again.

Their next stop was at a clothes store, though it was not the same one they'd stopped at earlier in the day. This one was somewhat bigger, and it had less elegant clothes. It seemed a lot more utilitarian... and yes, she could see that they had the types of clothes that she needed.

"Alright. Go find those... clothes you need, hurry up, and we'll be leaving," Envy said, pretty stiffly.

She nodded and went to get them. Envy followed her, fairly closely. He was obviously not intending to lose sight of her. She could tell by his eyes that he was quite uncomfortable. His posture was also somewhat stiffer than it had been before, even though he was still trying to hold to the 'Becky' persona. Much as she enjoyed seeing this, she also knew that the longer she took, the angrier (and more dangerous) he'd be. She did her best to pick up everything she'd need as quickly as she could. Envy then took the clothes to the cashier to pay for them.

"Finally done with this!" he muttered once they were out of the store.

"I'm sorry. It was more expensive than you expected, right? You'll let me pay back that money somehow?"

"Pfft. If money were the problem, you'd be wearing bedsheets right now," he scoffed. "Father told me to get you what you needed. So it's all just part of that anyways."

"Well, um... thanks," she replied.

They didn't really speak on the way back, and that gave Alice a lot of time to think. This taste of fresh air had done her a lot of good. She felt a lot more like her old self than she had while in that dreary prison. And the more she saw the people around her having what seemed to be such a great time, going to and from their business, the more she felt... jealous. She was jealous of their happiness, of their feeling like they belonged in this world, of their being so seemingly carefree, but most of all, she was envious of their freedom. She was sure that all of them were going to places of their own free will, and none of them were being followed by a cruel jailer that was pretending to be a friend. And Envy had already pointed out the building called Central Command on the way to the café. It sounded like that was the military headquarters... and if someone could point her to the police station, it'd be them. And there she would be able to get help. She didn't think that anyone would believe that she was from another world... but maybe they could help her until she found someone who could believe her and actually aid her in returning home. From what she'd read in the books Envy had lent her, she'd learned that there were people called alchemists, and some of them were so very skilled... and someone like that had to be able to help her get back home. Anyone except these inhuman people that had basically kidnapped her. If she could run away from Envy... with some distraction... if she could just escape into a crowd of some sort... she knew where to go. Anyone in the city should be able to give her directions to Central Command if she got lost.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts, making possible plans to escape, that she didn’t notice how long they were walking. It seemed almost too little time when they got to the general area they had started out in. This snapped Alice out of her thoughts pretty quickly. It was now… or maybe never. If she went back inside that prison, she might never be let out. Fear gripped her heart, and she felt it race, and she felt the desperation so highly, that she was sure that she’d be able to make a run for it… even if she was tired from so much walking. How fast was Envy, anyways? From experience, he seemed to be pretty heavy… there was no way he could be too fast. She lagged behind slightly and quite casually as he went to open the door to the passages that led to the prison. Her heart felt like it was trying to pound its way out of her chest. Not too far from here was a street with people. If she could make it there… if she could only call other people for help…

She had no more time to think. She had to act. Trying to keep as quiet as possible she turned… and ran for her life. She was sure she’d never run so fast before. Her knees and ankles were burning with pain, but she didn’t care. This was her last chance before she had to go back down there. She vaguely heard an absolutely enraged yell behind her, but she couldn’t even tell what it was. All she could tell is that it was Envy, and he had seen her and was likely pursuing her. She couldn’t let him catch her! The street was just ahead… she had to scream. Maybe someone would hear her! She breathed in, but just before she could scream, the blood seemed to freeze in her veins. She felt some kind of rope twist all around her, impeding her movements. The rope-like thing also coiled around her neck and her mouth, making it impossible for her to scream.

“I gotcha!” came Envy’s voice, with an incredibly venomous tone. “You thought you could escape ME!? And after all I’ve done for you, too? You ungrateful worm!”

She couldn’t move, but she glanced back at Envy, horrified to see that the “rope” wasn’t really a rope, but Envy’s arm shapeshifted into what seemed to be a rope. She also saw his eyes, and there was a vicious look in them that she’d never seen before. She was already greatly regretting the rash decision to attempt to run away, trembling like a leaf.

“I told you, didn’t I, little girlie… that I had ways to break you…” Envy continued, his voice almost a growl. “Didn’t I?”

She let out a sob as he slammed her on the nearest wall. She watched as he closed in on her again, his eyes almost gleaming with bloodlust.


	8. The Catch of the Surprise

## Chapter 8 - The Catch of the Surprise

He was grinning sometime later when he tossed her on the floor of the room that had been her prison for so long. He’d had to carry her there, too, since she was completely unable to walk. She wasn’t even crying anymore. She was barely conscious. Envy, however, was outright whistling with delight.

“Oops~! I think I broke a few too many things~!” he said in a singsong voice as he tossed her to the floor. “Does it hurt a lot, little girlie~?”

She didn’t answer, and Envy simply walked out, laughing gleefully. It wasn’t long before she passed out from the pain, drifting in and out of consciousness for what seemed to be many hours. Eventually, in one of the times when she more or less woke up, she saw people next to her. This snapped her fully back to her senses. One of them was Envy. He was standing behind the other person, looking pretty calm. The other was kneeling next to her, and seemed to be an old man with glasses and a gold tooth.

“Ahh… she’s awake again. That’s a good sign,” the old man said.

“Well, hurry up and fix it before she dies on us or something,” Envy said.

“If I may ask… what exactly happened to her?”

“She fell down some stairs,” Envy grumbled.

“Really, now? Her injuries are very extensive. Broken bones all over and other internal injuries.”

“... There were a lot of stairs.”

“I suppose it’s not my place to question that. Let’s see, then…” the old man said, grinning as he took out a small red stone from his pocket.

There was a red flash of light, the same color as the sparks of electric-like energy that came from Envy’s body when he transformed, and the pain was gone. She looked at the old man with wide eyes. What had he done to her? She wasn’t going to complain… but what exactly had he done to heal the injuries so quickly?

“How…?” she managed to ask.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head over it,” the doctor said with a toothy grin. “Very well. I’m done here. I will see her later when her illness flares up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Envy said, somewhat dismissively.

With that, he walked out, leaving Alice alone with Envy. She began to tremble as soon as he was gone, staring at Envy with wide, terrified eyes. He was looking at her, a huge grin on his face.

“Well, now,” he said after a moment, when the old man’s footsteps had died away. “It’s just you and me again~! Shall I punish you again for trying to run away?”

“No! Please! Please don’t!”

“Why did you even try to run away, anyways? I told you that you were too pathetic to manage to get away from me.”

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking straight!”

“You pathetic idiot… of course you weren’t thinking straight. CAN an idiot like you even think straight?”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” she sobbed.

“Of course… you don’t really think that if you’d managed to get away, you’d be free from me, do you?”

“I…”

Envy laughed at her hesitation to answer. To him, the answer was obvious.

“You stupid girl. We could track you down easily, wherever you ran. You risked your life for nothing.”

She looked down at the floor. Truthfully, she hadn’t thought this through well enough. It was true that she had nearly escaped… but at the same time… she didn’t know what these people were capable of. Envy, for starters, had that amazing ability to shapeshift. What else could he do? What about the others? Envy had once said that Gluttony would be able to tell if she left the place Envy left her in. How could he do that? Could he really track her in an entire city? Had she been dealing with normal humans, it’d be different, but she was dealing with monsters. Though her acts had been fueled by desperation, they really had not been the best move. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She hated the fact that Envy was still right in front of her, watching her. He’d seen her in tears earlier, but that didn’t make it any easier for her now. Quite the contrary, it made her feel worse to cry again. She expected him to laugh, but instead, he rolled his eyes.

“Ugh, you’re not going to start CRYING, are you? How pathetic! You’re going to make me throw up!”

“I’m… I’m sorry!” she stammered.

“Ugh! Quit blubbering and listen to me. We have something important to discuss.”

She was still crying, but she managed to look at him, inquiringly.

“Yeah, that’s right. Business. It’s about that surprise from me and Father. I’m tempted to not give it to you after all, but I think those broken bones will suffice as punishment for now. I must have broken like twenty of them~! But I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson, right, little worm?”

“Yes, sir…”

“So as to the surprise… Father and I were talking about your state of health. It seems that being confined underground isn’t doing you any favours.”

I could have told you that, Captain Obvious, she thought, but said nothing.

“So… we’ve decided to work out something that will benefit us all. You get to breathe some fresh air, we get something useful. Sounds good?”

“Wh… what do you want me to do?”

“Well. I want to give you a little job. What do you say?”

“What is the job?”

“Simple! You’ll get a job at the military. And you’ll report back to me every piece of gossip you hear. I’m supposed to gather information, you see, for research purposes. But it’s so boring listening to the stupid troubles and dramas of humans. So I want you to be my eyes and ears in that little task.  It’s an easy task, so even someone stupid like you can get it right.”

“But… why? What do you need that for?”

“That’s none of your business! Also, this isn’t a request, either.”

“You’re not going to hurt anyone, are you?”

“No, that’s not the purpose of this job. The purpose of this job is to free some time for me to do more important things.”

“Alright, so… I just listen to some gossip… and then what?” Alice asked. It was honestly hard for her to talk. Her mouth was dry with fear, but she knew she had to ask these questions if she wanted to correctly do… whatever it was he was asking her to do.

“You’ll come back afterwards and report to me. I’ll then tell you what kind of gossip is useful and what you should try to find out about next day. It’s really simple.”

“But… why… why me?”

“Well. For starters you’re here with us, so you’re a resource we can use. But there’s also the fact that you’ve got these big helpless eyes. People love that! They’d surely be willing to tell you anything at all, and trust you implicitly. You’d be like some kind of lost puppy to them. It’s just what I need.”

“Couldn’t you do the same? You can change your appearance into… anything?”

“Me? Yeah, I could. I’m great at acting, too! But honestly, it makes me sick to have to listen to human idle chatter and drama. I’m not about to waste a perfectly good resource, so I’ll be sending you instead. I’m sure that, as a pathetic human, you will at least tolerate that idle chatter.”

“So I just… listen, right?”

“Yeah, you better not say anything that might give us problems. You can’t mention me, or Lust or Gluttony. Or Father, for that matter. Hm. You’ll need some kind of cover story...  oh, how about playing to more sympathies? You lost your whole family in a tragic accident. The president, as a favour to his assistant, granted you a job in the military. Simple, but should work. What do you think?”

“I… I guess…”

“Well, then that’s your story. It’s true, too, isn’t it? You lost everything. Your home… your family… even your friends in an alchemical accident. That’s how you got here, isn’t it?”

She looked down at the floor again. It was true, and she hated how he put it. She had lost everything. She had kept hoping it was temporary and these people kept assuring her it would be… but what if they were wrong? What if she’d been given up for dead anyways and what if it took so long to get back that no one would even recognize her? She felt tears in her eyes again and she covered them with a small sob.

“Oh, not again. What are you even crying about this time?” Envy asked scornfully.

“I haven’t seen my family and friends in forever…” she started.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. They’re lost to you as long as you can’t return home. So what? You’ve got to see these things logically. It’s not like they’re dead. Sure, they probably think YOU’RE dead, and they’ve probably cried and mourned and done all those silly human things people do when others die. But they’re not dead, and you’re perfectly fine, so why bother crying about it?”

She doubted she’d ever come to terms with his impressive ability to make things worse with his words.

“It’s just that I miss my friends. I mean… here, the closest thing I have to a friend is YOU.”

Envy looked bewildered for just a second before he frowned.

“What’s THAT supposed to mean? Anyways, you’ll have plenty of chances to make new friends in your new job. I don’t understand why you NEED friends, anyways, but I guess it’s just one of those stupid human things. It doesn’t matter anyways. I don’t really care what you do, as long as you don’t say anything inconvenient to people, and you do as I tell you.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Great. Now I’ll come pick you up tomorrow and send you off on your way.”

“But wait! The shoes…!”

“Huh? Oh, right. Yeah, whatever, I’ll bring them back tomorrow, fixed,” he said rolling his eyes again. He then turned back to her with a sinister grin. “Try to run away again, little girlie. I’d love to have more fun with you the same way I did today~!”

With that, he left, leaving Alice to the depressing thoughts that had been brought up. Except for Envy, she was basically alone. She hated how he was the only thing she could somewhat consider a friend, especially since she hated him, but he really was the only one she’d had contact with for such a long time. She was a bit scared about what this “job” would bring. It had been too long since she had had any sort of human contact. Even Envy didn’t count for human contact, seeing as to how he wasn’t human. She wondered if she would even remember how to socialize and how to really relate to people anymore.

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Envy, for his part, headed over to the central area where he and his siblings usually stayed at. Father was usually there too, though he was often quiet and still. Sometimes Envy saw him reading something or the other, but even then, he'd only notice him if he looked over. The person he really wanted to see was Lust, though. He could always talk to her, after all. Sure enough, he found her there. Father, however, was elsewhere.

“So you’re back. You sure took your time,” she said.

“Yeah, well. I saw one of the people I’m keeping an eye on where I took the girl to eat something. So I stayed and listened in to his conversation.”

“Did you find anything interesting?”

“No, nothing. They were talking about stupid human things. There was nothing of use. Nothing about HER.”

“Well, that is inconvenient. Getting that information is going to be such a pain.”

“Well. That’s what I’m hoping the girl will help us with.”

“Are you serious? You’re really planning to use her for this?”

“It was Father’s idea. Wasting resources isn’t something he likes to do. And we have her idle and useless here, so why not make use of her?”

“We can’t really control her.”

“We have so many human pawns already, though! What is one more?"

"I am not sure that we can count her as a pawn," Lust shrugged. “How much control do we even have over her? And how useful is she, really? I heard from the doctor that there was some kind of accident with the girl. Something about stairs.”

Envy froze.

“... It wasn’t stairs, was it?”

“Well… uh…” Envy started, scratching the back of his head nervously. “It might’ve had something to do with stairs…”

“What happened?”

“Well… she might have tried to run away.”

“What? I thought you said you had her under control. You’re so careless.”

“Hey! I do have it under control. I was tempted to let her escape. The only place she knows to get help in is the military… and if she went there, she’d be crawling straight back to us. But I thought it’d be best to give her consequences a bit more… personally.”

“So you beat her up.”

“Okay, so I broke a few bones. Nothing we couldn’t fix.”

“Still, so careless. You better not make a habit out of this. What about this job she’s getting? How is this useful?”

“Wrath will make sure she’s kept busy. But mostly what we want is information on that woman. Can’t believe how secretive she is. I’ve been able to get nothing, despite all my attempts. I’m starting to wonder if she’s even of any use to us. How can someone achieve really great things without anyone knowing anything about her?”

“Well, there are rumors… and she is engaged to that soldier… that’s our best chance.”

“We could just take her by force.”

“But it’d be too flashy. Father doesn’t want that. Besides, she’s not the kind that would stay around if she found out we’re on to her.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We still have some time, though, and several candidates.”

Lust grinned. That was quite true. Their plans were advancing perfectly well. Soon she’d go to Liore, and set things up well enough there. They were quite on schedule.

“So you leave next week?” Envy asked after a moment.

“Yes. I don’t like having to deal with pathetic humans, but I guess I have no choice. I suppose their foolish struggles can be a bit amusing.”

“Do you know who you’re going to use?”

“No, not yet. It’s such a small and miserable town. They hardly have anything that they could be manipulated with.”

“How about… faith? Messing with their hopes and dreams… you don’t need anything tangible for that. Even the most miserable humans cling stupidly to empty hope.”

“I like that idea of yours. Yes. I think I know exactly what to do now.”

“This kind of stuff is my specialty, after all~!”

“Very well, then. But don’t get too cocky. You’re struggling to control a single person over here, aren’t you?”

“Nah. Humans are like that. They don’t like to give up, even when things are hopeless for them. But after today… she won’t defy us anymore. Humans may be stubborn, but they are easy to break. Apply enough pain and fear, and it paralyzes them. Isolate them, and they can’t get up again. I’m pretty sure I’ve got things here under control.”

“I hope you’re right. I don’t want to have to worry about things here while I’m at Lior. I’ll be taking Gluttony with me, too, so there won’t be anyone to track our possible human sacrifice candidate if she tries to run off.”

“She won’t,” Envy grinned. “I’ll make sure of that.”


	9. The Mission Begins

## Chapter 9 - The Mission Begins

Trying to sleep that night was almost an exercise in frustration for Alice. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see Envy’s cruel face with the same huge grin he’d had as he had attacked her. She could almost hear the sickening snapping of bones, too. She had wondered before just how heavy he was, but now she knew. He was heavy enough to break bones with a stomp. Lust’s warning about him being capable of leaving someone a bloody mess to be peeled off the floor in a fit of rage made perfect sense now. The thought of what had happened and what could have happened if he hadn’t managed to reign in his temper was so terrifying that she had spent most of the day trembling and crying. The few times she managed to sleep, she woke up screaming not too long after. All in all, it was an absolutely miserable evening and night. She didn’t even bother to touch the food that Envy had apparently brought in one of the rare moments she’d managed to sleep.

By the time morning arrived, she had calmed down only slightly when Envy came into the room, carrying breakfast and the bag of shoes he’d taken the day before. He tossed the bag on the floor next to the bed and set the tray on the table. He sat down on the chair with a frown.

“Again with no eating. But I don’t have time for this. You have about an hour to eat this and get ready to leave.”

“Huh? Leave…?”

“Yeah. You start your job today. Pick something from the clothes I got you and get dressed. The shoes are there, too, and fixed for your pathetic feet.”

“Yes… okay. And thanks…”

“Now,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “I want to make sure you understand your orders. Tell me what you’re supposed to do today.”

“I’m to do… whatever I’m told, and I must listen to any and all gossip, then report back to you,” she replied, her voice shaky.

“Yup! That’s right. Now. Remember that if you tell anyone about this place… and about me, Lust, Gluttony, Father, or, well, anything here… what do you think will happen…?”

“You’ll… you’ll punish me.”

“Yes. That’s correct,” Envy said, lowering his voice as he gave her a cruel glare. “And the person you tell anything to… do you know what will happen to them?”

“No…”

“They will be a liability. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to an innocent person, would you? Especially since YOU would be guilty of it…”

Alice gasped in horror as she realized the threat he was making. In turn, he grinned as he continued speaking.

“And of course, if you tell someone too much… since you know what will happen… I’ll take it to mean that you WANT to see what happens. I’ll make sure that you have a front row seat to watching me take care of the problem you create. How does that sound?”

“I won’t say anything. I promise. Please don’t hurt anyone!”

“It’s all up to you~! Keep your mouth shut and no one will get hurt.”  
After what she’d seen him do, she had no trouble believing that he was definitely capable of killing someone if she told them anything. And she also knew that it’d be an extremely unpleasant death for them, too. There was no way she could simply just do something that’d place someone in such danger. The thought of asking for help had crossed her mind before, but it was no longer an option. She should have known that such a threat would be given.

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, sit and eat. It will be a long day and you’ll be kept very busy. The President will see to it. And you don’t get to eat until the proper time. After all, it’s the military. They are pretty disciplined.”

With a sigh, she did as she was told. There was no point in arguing. He would just get nasty again, and his threats to forcefully stuff the food down her throat were still fresh in her mind thanks to the “punishment” for trying to run away. She didn’t want to even think how he would do a thing like that, especially since he’d already mentioned he didn’t care if she was hurt. She believed him.

Envy only stayed to make sure she ate breakfast. He didn’t speak much, mostly just grinning in the nasty way he usually did. She was too drained to even feel uncomfortable anymore. In fact, his being around while calm and in a relatively good mood was almost pleasant. She could hardly help it.

“Alright. I’ll pick you up later. Make sure you’re presentable,” he said, taking the empty tray away.

She nodded and picked up the clothes she had gotten the previous day. They were still in the bag where they’d been left since the day before. She put them in the wardrobe, picking out just one of the outfits. It wasn’t exactly her style, definitely, but it was something wearable. Envy didn’t have the best fashion sense, apparently, but the clothes weren’t too weird. They were plain enough to blend into a crowd, without being too plain. They would have to do. It was at least better than wearing the same clothes for… how long was it now? Months? And when it wasn’t her clothes, all she got was that smelly old coat Envy owned. This was at least a good change. And she would see real people again. Nervous as it made her, she was very happy for that opportunity. She was actually feeling strangely… thankful… that he was giving her a chance like that despite her recent attempt to run away.

Envy was back soon enough. He was still looking like his normal self, with that strange clothing he wore. She wondered if he was really going to take her outside looking like that. As comfortable as he seemed looking like that, he really would stick out like a sore thumb. She didn’t want to ask him, though. Maybe he wasn’t even going to take her all the way to her new job. She hoped he did, though. She wasn’t looking forward to trying to find her way around an unfamiliar place on her own. Once she was at the job, well, things would be different, as she would probably be directed as to where to go.

“Let’s go,” Envy said simply.

She followed him out of the room, and through the dark corridors of the strange underground place. They seemed different to her than the others she’d been through, but she had no idea where they were going, and she wondered how Envy and the others managed to find their way around the maze-like place. She doubted that she would be able to get around even if she lived in this place… or, at least, if she were allowed to go out and explore it. It took a while, but they eventually made their way into a corridor that ended at an elevator. Envy stopped next to it.

“Alright, this is it. Get into that elevator, and then go and ask around for the Fuhrer’s office. Once you make it there, he’ll tell you what to do. And remember to listen to what people say. You’d better bring me something useful, got it?”

Oh dear. He really was going to send her alone. She was pretty sure she’d be spending quite a bit of time lost. This was already not starting very well.

“Yes, sir,” she said anyways, trying to hide her nervousness. She must have done so well, for he seemed to not notice she was nervous, or else he just didn’t care.

“You won’t be able to come back this way without me, so I’ll pick you up at the main entrance when your shift is over.”

“Alright, sir,” she said. She couldn’t resist it, though. She had to ask him if he was really sending her alone for this. “You’re… not coming, sir?”

He grinned again.

“What, you want me to?” he asked with an eager and pleased voice.

“I… um…” she stammered. What could she tell him? She felt conflicted about it and didn’t even know the answer to that question herself.

“Flattering as the request is, I’ve got more important things to do,” he said. “So you’re on your own.” His grin became wider, again, not reaching his eyes at all. They kept that cruel, eager look she had come to associate with his most dangerous moods. “Just remember what happens if you say anything out of line...”

“Yes, sir… I won’t say anything that might be troublesome.”

He didn’t reply to that, simply opening the elevator for her. She got into it, and watched him as the door closed. The machine rumbled as it began to move. She wondered if it was safe. After a bit, it gave a minor jolt and the door opened. She quickly made her way out of it. She was now inside what definitely looked like offices. Heading quickly to the nearest window to look outside, she realized where she was. This wasn’t just a simple military office. This was the main military office, the same one that Envy had pointed out while they were at the city. There was an elevator that connected the underground to Central Headquarters? How many people were aware of this? Her heart sank as she realized that if she had managed to escape Envy… she would have headed straight here. And if it was connected to the underground lair… chances were that she would not have gotten far anyways. She felt, for a moment, that she should have known something like this was the case, since Envy had directed her to the Fuhrer’s office, and thus that meant that he must have a personal connection to him. But she had thought that they must have been fooling the Fuhrer, probably with one of the disguises he seemed so fond of. But with this elevator… no, there was no doubt. At least part of the military knew about the inhuman people underground. With a sigh, she started walking, trying to find someone who would lead her to where she needed to go.

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It was pretty early still, and there were few people at the military headquarters, so it actually took a fairly long while for Alice to find anyone that could possibly help her. But after a bit, she had come across the most impressive-looking man that she had ever seen.

He was an extremely tall man, with a large frame that seemed to be made purely of the most splendid muscles she’d ever seen. He could almost have been an imposing statue, the muscles being so chiseled that they almost felt unnatural. His head was bald, aside from a single blond curl that fell on the front of his face. He had a moustache, too, and he almost seemed to… sparkle? Alice could hardly react to the man and practically froze.

The imposing blue eyes found the scared hazel ones pretty soon and the man started walking towards her. His presence was so… powerful, that Alice wished she could just run away. But her legs wouldn’t listen to her. In fact, she felt so dwarfed that her legs felt like they wouldn’t support her weight anymore. She leaned a bit more heavily on her cane as she waited helplessly for the giant to reach her.

“What’s this? A newcomer! Someone I have never seen before!” the gigantic man exclaimed. His voice was about as impressive as his looks, and rather loud.

“Um… hello, sir…” Alice managed to squeak out.

“Who might you be? Are you lost? You seem to be lost! I, Alex Louis Armstrong, will help you if that is the case!”

“Um… I’m… Alice. And… well, yes, I’m lost…”

“Then allow me to set your path straight! Where might you be going?”

“I… need to find the Fuhrer’s office…”

“That is no problem! The art of giving directions has been passed down the Armstrong family for generations!”

He proceeded to give her detailed directions from there to the Fuhrer’s office. She listened as well as she could, though she found his unnaturally huge physique a bit distracting.

“I… I think I’ve got it. Thank you,” she said after he had repeated some of the directions for her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to escort you?”

“Yes, thank you, I’m fine," Alice replied. “I’ll be going now.”

In truth, she didn’t want this scary man to escort her. Some more normal person she probably would have been okay with, but this strange man was far too scary. She only reached up to around his elbows in height, and he was several times larger than her in general. It was just not the kind of person she wanted to be escorted by at the moment. Why was the first human she’d actually had contact with just not NORMAL?

Following his directions, though, she soon made it to an office. There was a severe-looking man outside it. He had very marked cheekbones, and brown hair.

“Who are you? Do you have business here?” the man asked.

“Um… I was asked to go to the Fuhrer’s office. My name is Alice.”

“Alice, huh? Yes. I’ve been informed about you. One moment.”

He opened the door and went in.

“Yes, Storch?” came a calm, deep voice from inside.

“There is an Alice here to see you, sir.”

“Let her come in. I’ve been waiting for her.”

Storch came out of the office, and held the door open for Alice. She went in quickly, hearing the door close behind her. She barely paid heed to that, however, as the sight before her took all her attention. It was a man with a presence so imposing that it dwarfed even Armstrong. He was not big, but nevertheless, Alice could not immediately meet his gaze. He was actually only slightly taller, and his hair was black. A single green eye stared at her as he entered. The other eye, or at the least, where an eye would normally be, was covered by an eyepatch. His skin had a slight tan to it, and he had a well-groomed moustache. Despite being so much smaller than Armstrong, there was something almost regal about his presence that made Alice feel choked, as if the room were too small for him.

“Please, sit down,” the Fuhrer said. His voice was quite kind.

Alice complied. She didn’t dare talk. She just felt far too intimidated.

“So, you’re Alice,” the Fuhrer stated.

“Yes, sir,” she managed to say, though her voice was almost a whisper.

“You don’t need to be afraid. I’ve been told about you. You’re quite safe here.”

“Thank you, sir. I… just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“There is a lot of paperwork that needs to get done. Of course, you are simply not qualified to fill it out. However, that paperwork needs to be filed and taken to different places. If you do that job, it will free time for my assistants to do the more useful things they need to do.”

“Alright, sir.”

“So tell me a bit about yourself. How did you come here?”

Alice hesitated for a moment. On the one hand, she was given her first real chance to tell someone the truth. On the other, hadn’t Envy threatened to kill anyone she told? Then again, he didn’t have a way to keep an eye on her all day. And would he even kill the Fuhrer? And yet… there was the fact that the elevator that connected this building to the underground lair existed. Did the Fuhrer know of it? What was his connection to it? These thoughts, though, lasted for only a moment before the image of Envy looming over her, ready to stomp her filled her mind, as did the horrible crunching sound that had come right after that. She found herself completely unable to tell the truth about her situation, and wouldn’t have been able to, even if she had no doubts about trusting the Fuhrer.

“I’m from a small town. I lost my family in an alchemical accident. A friend brought me here… said you could give me a job to help me… start over.”

“Ah. Yes. Evan. Good lad.”

Evan? Who the heck was he? Was that the name Envy used here? All she could do was nod.

“Very well, Alice. You may begin your work by asking Storch to give you some papers that need to be delivered to another department. I know that you are not familiar at all with this building, but don’t worry. That will come with time. I note that you have a mobility problem, too. You may take the time you need moving from place to place, but do not slack off. There is plenty of work for you to do, young lady, and you will be compensated appropriately.  Now, off you go. And, when you see Evan, tell him he’s doing a great job.”

“Yes, sir," Alice said, getting up. She made a little bow of her head before she turned to leave, happy to leave behind such an imposing man.

Storch was waiting outside. He gave her a small bunch of documents and directions to take it to the records department. Alice simply nodded and left, knowing that even if she got lost, she could always ask for directions. And, of course, she ended up doing that a lot throughout the morning, as she was sent from place to place, carrying documents and the occasional tea. She was glad that Envy had indeed somehow managed to make the shoes he’d gotten her flat, probably with the use of this alchemy thing they had in Amestris. She was sure she’d be in agony if the shoes had still been high-heeled. By the time lunch was to be served, though, she was already very tired. She had already found out where the cafeteria was, so she headed there happy that she would get to sit down a bit. She was also very hungry by that time. She had been eating way too little, after all, and there was nothing like physical activity to work up an appetite. She found an empty place to sit in and she was only starting to eat when a young man approached her.

“Is this seat taken?” the young man asked.

“No, it isn’t,” she replied. She wasn’t sure if she wanted people sitting next to her, but it would have been impolite to turn him away.

The young man sat down. He was a very young-looking man, with pale skin and short light brown hair. His eyes were dark blue. There was something almost familiar about this face, but she couldn’t really place it. There was something about his voice too. But since she really didn’t know anyone, she didn’t think much of it. He must sound like someone from back home, perhaps.

“I’ve never seen your face around here. Are you new?” he asked. His voice was quiet, barely audible over the crowd.

“Um, yes. This is my first day at work.”

“Oh, really? What’s your name?”

“Alice.”

“Well, Alice! What brings you here to Central Command?”

“A friend got me a job here.”

“Oh, a friend, huh? What is that friend like?”

“Oh... he’s very nice. He’s been very kind to me since I came here to Central. He’s even given me a place to stay. I’m very thankful to him. I don’t know what I’d have done without his help,” she replied. She honestly had no idea what to really say about her “friend”.

“Oh, really? Well, he sounds pretty great!”

“Who might you be…?”

“My name is Evan”, the young man said with a smile.

Hadn’t the Fuhrer said that an Evan was the friend that had gotten her a job here? This couldn’t be HIM, could it?

“Evan? You’re not…?”  Alice began.

“The one and only, yes!” Evan replied, his voice changing slightly. It was definitely Envy’s voice.

She was completely speechless. Though she recognized Envy’s voice, what if it wasn’t? What if it was someone she couldn’t tell anything to that just happened to sound like Envy? She looked at Evan in confusion. He could see it and leaned forward a bit. For just a moment, his eyes went back to being purple and slitted, but just for a moment. The next blink they were back to their dark blue color.

“It’s me, yes. You don’t have to look so scared. We’re supposed to be best friends, remember? Anyways, yes, the name’s Evan,” he said, then whispered so that it barely was audible above the chatter in the background, “at least while I’m here.”

“I… didn’t know you worked here.”

“Yup. I’ve worked here for a while. I keep an eye on things that are needed.”

“Oh. So this is where you are every day.”

“That’s right. Well… almost every day, anyways. Sometimes I have other things to do.”

Alice nodded. Well, so this was what kept him from bothering her all day, then? Not too bad. She was slightly worried about the fact that an inhuman creature like him had a job in the military of a country. In the end, though, Amestris wasn’t her country, so it wasn’t like she really could worry a lot about it. She didn’t know these people at all, so as much as she wanted to feel bad about them, she only could to an extent. She wondered if anyone else knew that a Homunculus was in the military.

“So how’s your work so far?” Envy asked when she didn’t say anything after a bit.

“Oh, it’s great, really. I walk a lot and see a lot of people. I’ve been busy most of this time.”

“Good. It’s actually going to be good to have other people look after you sometimes. I don’t have to worry about cooking so much.”

“Wait, you cooked all those meals?”

“Actually most of them, yes. Where did you think I got them from?”

“I thought you bought them or something.”

“Nah. It’s more of a hassle that way. There’s really only two of us that can cook, anyways. I just tended to be stuck on that duty more often.”

She felt the slightest bit of guilt for turning down the food as often as she had. She’d known he’d made a few meals and his father had made one of them, but she hadn’t realized that he was the one working for most of that. She guessed it was actually kind of nice of him.

Lunch hour was soon over, and Envy left quickly. Alice took a bit longer to get up, mostly because she didn’t really want to walk alongside Envy, even for a bit. He made her nervous and she was supposed to be super friendly with him. After all, he was supposedly such good friends with her, that he had gotten her a job here. She really wished that they didn’t have to use an uncomfortable lie like that one, but what could she really do? For now, all she could do was work in this new job of hers. It kept her mind occupied and away from thoughts of that dark place she’d been in for so long. Of course… she did have to make sure she overheard some gossip… anything that she could report to Envy at night. This was something she could do well enough. Finally… something that gave her existence here a bit of a purpose.


	10. Of Reports and Feelings

## Chapter 10  - Of Reports and Feelings

At the end of the work day, she went to wait at the main entrance, as Envy had instructed her to do. She watched quietly as most of the people left the building, and some of the people that that recognized her waved as they left.. She waved back, though she felt a bit awkward. After all, she was a stranger here in this place, and she felt it only too well. Even though these people were similar to her in looks, language, and even in some customs, she felt especially isolated from them because of her situation. Not only was she likely from a different world than these people, she also had a unique… housing situation. She couldn’t really let people get too close to her, lest they find out something they shouldn’t. She didn’t exactly know what Envy meant when he said that he would take care of problems, but she figured it wasn’t pleasant if her experience with his temper was any indication. He would probably kill people if they got in his way, and if he did that because of something she did, she didn’t think she would be able to tolerate it in her conscience. The guilt would be too huge. She tried to keep a happy-enough face, but she felt worried that someone might actually see through her smile and find out things that they shouldn’t know. Every time each of those nice people waved and smiled, she smiled and waved back, but her heart froze a bit, remembering what Envy had said. She really wished he’d hurry up and get her out of here.

He appeared soon after, coming out of the building. He wore a pretty serious expression, but he did not seem especially upset. He looked around a bit, then saw her and headed in her direction.

“There you are. Come on. It’s time to go.”

She nodded and followed him. Apparently they were going to walk back to jail… or, perhaps, she considered, she should get used to calling it “home”. After all, at least for a time, it would be her home of sorts. She noted that Envy was much more quiet than usual. She wondered if that would be problematic for her later. Usually his being silent meant he was in a poor mood. And usually his being in a poor mood resulted in far too much trouble for her. Was there any way she could improve this situation? If she could do that… if she could make him happier, things would be so much better. But what could she do? She barely understood the strange creature. As human as he looked, there seemed to be some fundamental differences in the way he actually functioned when it came to his behaviour. He acted subtly inhuman, definitely. It wasn’t even just his violent outbursts, nor was it even his obviously sadistic ways. She was no psychologist though. She couldn’t quite place it. But she had to admit… she was starting to be curious about this Homunculus.

“Long day?” she asked, deciding, for once, to break the silence herself.

“Yup.”

Well, that wasn’t an answer that really helped when it came to making conversation.

“Why?” she asked.

“What’s it to you, anyways?”

“I was just wondering. I mean… I’m working for you now, right? Shouldn’t I know a bit more about, well, everything?”

“Nope. Come on, don’t talk like you really wanted this job. I’ll tell you what you need to know, when you need to know it. That’s really all that should concern you.”

“I do want to help you.”

“Really, now? Why the sudden change in heart?”

“It’s the best for me too, you know. The sooner you finish whatever it is you’re going to do, the sooner I go home.”

“That’s right,” Envy grinned. It wasn’t a very friendly grin, but it was a grin.

That was better, Alice thought. If he was grinning, then he was in a better mood, even if only just barely. That could only mean somewhat better things for her. This was the way things should be more often. She kept following him until they went back to the stairway that led to the sewers. He had been looking around a fair deal before that, possibly to make sure no one was watching or following. Quickly, he opened the door and nearly shoved Alice inside. He then led her all the way to his own room.

“You need to clean up for tomorrow. I’ll get your dinner, then you’ll report your day findings to me,” he said simply, then left.

She wondered what she was even going to tell him. She had been so busy during the day, walking all over the building, that she hadn’t exactly gotten to listen to many conversations. She had overheard a few once in a while, but what about them would possibly be useful to Envy? And why? Much as she had told him that she wanted to help in whatever thing they were working on, she couldn’t help but worry about what an inhuman creature could be planning. Because whatever it was, it came from the man they called Father, and if Envy and his siblings were inhuman, they were nothing compared to that man. She was very glad she had not seen him again during the time she was here. She was curious, but it was a curiosity filled with dread and she couldn’t even explain why. But their Father wasn’t human, she was sure of it. He couldn’t be, not if he lived in a place like this, with people like Envy for his children. Nonetheless, she tried her best to put those worries to the back of her mind for now. There was nothing she could do. If she could do nothing against one of the children, there was no way she was going to be able to do anything against the rest of them, let alone the father. For now, she’d enjoy the lovely luxury of a bath. That was the greatest comfort she could have at the moment, and she supposed she could accept what she was given at least.

She was still inside when she heard the door creak open. There he was again. She wondered if he would leave her time to keep enjoying the bath. Then again, she knew how much he hated it when she wasted his time. She had to get out soon. But before she even got started with that, she heard an impatient and strong knock.

“Get out of there already!”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m almost out!”

She was out soon enough, resenting the fact that she couldn’t even take her time. But, in the end, she supposed it was lucky that she got it at all. Envy was already sitting at the table. He motioned for her to sit at the chair across him, where the tray with food was already waiting. She did so, quietly.

“Well, then. Let’s get this over as soon as possible. Give me your day’s report,” he said in a resigned voice. “You can go ahead and eat, but just get the report over with.”

She nodded and, in between eating, she began to tell Envy everything she’d heard and observed about, well, everyone. She’d tried to be thorough and observant, but she felt she had barely managed to get anything useful. Mostly all she had heard was silly small talk. She doubted that was at all useful to Envy and watching his extremely bored face as he listened to what she had to say. His expression wasn’t making her feel any better about this situation. And if it turned out she wasn’t useful after all… wouldn’t that mean that he’d keep her locked up all day again? She didn’t think she could stand that. It would truly be a horrible thing… stuck inside with nothing to do and no company whatsoever aside from Envy’s visits? She was sure she’d go insane if that happened again. But most of what she’d heard was people talking about the weather, or their kids… and well, there’d been that guy that was talking about his wife like it was the best thing in the world. He’d even been showing off pictures of her to someone. Alice had only barely gotten away before he caught her.

“Oh, that guy again,” Envy said. “He’s crazy. I’ve been avoiding him all this time. He’s got no useful information anyways, and there’s no reason to sit and listen to his insane ramblings about his wife. I don’t even want to imagine what he’ll be like if he ever gets kids. Well. What a useless report. Is there anything else?”

Alice’s heart sank. Useless? Did that mean that he would take her job from her? She couldn’t let that happen! There was one thing she hadn’t mentioned yet, of course. She wasn’t quite done with her report, even if she was, by this time, almost done with her food.

“Well… there was that guy who was very happy and when I went to deliver something; he told me he had just gotten engaged.”

“Engaged?” Envy said, looking up, his eyes finally showing a small spark of interest. “Who?”

“It was someone known as Herman.”

“Huh. Okay. How nice was he to you?”

“Pretty nice.”

“Get closer to him.”

“Wh… what? How?”

“I don’t know. Make friends with him! Be friendly. Do whatever human thing you do to make friends. Just be careful to not give anything away. Would be a shame if something had to happen to him, you know.”

“Okay… I’ll try.”

“You better do more than try. Use your pathetic little charm! Just be friends with him.”

“Charm?”

“Yeah. I noticed several guys looking at you over lunch.”

“Wh… what? Me? Why?”

“... Obviously they liked you.”

“Me?! No, there’s no-”

“Oh, stop it with the false modesty!” Envy interrupted her, rolling his eyes. “You human girls LIKE that kind of attention. You even dress up to invite it! When I met you, weren’t you dressed precisely to attract the looks, perhaps of a certain someone?”

“... I was going on a date, yes, but… I wasn’t really dressed up.”

“Oh, please, it’s obvious that you were. Sure, your clothes were mostly casual, but they’d have to be for a casual date anyways. But your hair is what gives you away. It was brushed very neatly, and it was styled in a fancy little way, while still staying within casual limits. You’ve never bothered to style it anywhere near as well since, so it’s obvious you were dressing up to attract someone. That’s what you humans do. It’s a lot like a peacock displaying its feathers. And you would only do a thing like that if you realize there’s SOMETHING to show off. So don’t give me any false modesty about there not being anything people could like. And even if that were the case, you’re something people would consider exotic. Most people in Amestris are fairly blond. If not that, then there’s people with brown hair. Red hair, though, is pretty rare. People like what’s rare. And it’s something even a pathetic worm like you should know. So don’t give me that lie!”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean that.”

“Hmph. Anyways, it’s actually something we can use in our favour. Like I said, you have that lost puppy kind of look about you that would melt quite a few people. So we use that. People like you, so you can use that to get close to them. This Herman, especially. See if you can somehow befriend him. Use that lost little charm, play up the tragedy of your loss if you must. But do it. We don’t have too much time for this.”

“Alright. Herman, got it. I’ll try to befriend him.”

“I’ll make sure you get a lot of work that sends you over there. You’ll get plenty of excuses to talk to him.”

“How can you make sure of that?”

“That’s my job to worry about, not yours. Anyways, is that all? No more to report?”

“No, sir. That’s all.”

“Great! In tomorrow’s report, you may ignore all the chit-chat about the weather. I’ll want to hear more about Herman, though. So you better make sure to have more information. Otherwise, I’ll be very angry.”

“Yes, sir!”

He didn’t seem to be in an especially bad mood anymore. Apparently she hadn’t been completely useless. She gave a small sigh of relief, causing him to give her a questioning glance. She didn’t say anything about it, though, and neither did he. He simply turned away after a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Alice wondered what he was thinking about. So long as it wasn’t something nasty for her, it was probably not something she should worry about. But she felt strangely… curious. Up until today, she had never really known him to be especially nice or even really human-like. But at that time during lunch, he had seemed almost… normal. And so, well, nice. She’d almost LIKED him then. Could it be that, underneath the nasty and harsh ways, there was someone nice? Someone she actually could get along with? Someone who she could relate to? It had to be so. It couldn’t all be a charade. No one could be a complete monster.

“Hey, Envy?” she asked after a while of gathering her courage to even speak to him. Even if there was a nice person underneath, he was still dangerous when annoyed.

“Yeah?” he answered, with a bored and yet questioning glance at her.

“You said you’re not human… right?”

“What kind of question is that? You’ve seen me do things that no human can do. I already told you I’m a Homunculus.”

“Yes, sorry. I just wonder… can you feel anything?”

The bored expression left his eyes entirely. He looked more surprised than anything. He was silent for a few moments, and then he frowned slightly.

“Yeah. I can.”

“Like… what?”

“If I’m hurt, I feel pain. If I touch something cold or warm, I can feel it too. My senses are pretty much the same as any human’s.”

“I more meant, like… feelings. Emotions. Things like happiness and sadness and love.”

He looked utterly bewildered for just a split second before his frown came back. It took him even longer to answer that question.

“Yeah,” he said simply. Then his eyes narrowed somewhat. “You’ve SEEN me get angry. Of course I have emotions!”

“I’ve never really seen you show a whole lot of emotions, though.”

“There’s been no reason to,” he shrugged. “Besides, we see things differently from you humans. We see things with logic. You humans make your decisions based on emotions. It makes you weak. We make our decisions with logic, without letting emotions blind us.”

She was reminded of the time Lust had warned her not to anger Envy. She wondered if he really was as immune to being blinded by emotion as he claimed to be, though he certainly seemed to believe it. Perhaps it was mostly just anger that could blind him. She decided not to mention anything about that, though.

“So... I guess you just feel things less than a human?” she asked.

“I wouldn’t know. I’m not a human. Whether we feel more or less than you is not relevant, though. We’re not slaves to emotion as you are, and that’s the important bit.”

His answer to that question wasn’t very helpful. It made sense, she supposed, that he wouldn’t know how a human felt things. And, well, she guessed she would never fully understand how a Homunculus saw things. How human were their feelings? She supposed there was only one question that could really answer that. The one emotion that many people felt defined humanity… was it possible for him?

“Is there anyone you… care about?”

“My Father, of course,” he replied coldly.

It was an obvious answer, definitely. At the same time, his voice was far too cold. There was something behind that, but whatever it was, it was something she might never get an answer to. After all, whatever it was, it was deep and obviously not something he wanted to discuss. Deciding not to press her luck, she just nodded.

“Are you done eating?” he asked, still coldly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Then get out. I’ll walk you to your room so the chimera guards don’t destroy you on the way.”

“Thanks, sir.”

He made a really derisive sound at being thanked, but said nothing. She followed him quietly, hoping she hadn’t hit some sort of nerve with her questions. She supposed that, if she had, he would have retaliated already, but with Envy, one could never really be sure. He said absolutely nothing on the way to her cell, and just opened the door, shoved her inside, and slammed the door before locking  it. Yeah, he was definitely bothered about something. There was no doubt about that.


	11. Human Warmth

## Chapter 11 - Human Warmth

Her routine for the next few weeks was about the same. Envy would unlock her cell during weekday mornings, and then take her to Central Headquarters, where she was kept busy in a variety of errands. Just as Envy had said, a lot of those errands brought her to the department Herman worked in. He was a friendly soul, and he always had some kind of greeting or a nice word. During the weekends, Envy would usually keep her locked in her cell. He had seemingly either forgotten the conversation that had made him upset, or he was simply ignoring it. Alice was pretty sure it was the latter. Whatever it was, he was quite back to his normal, scornful self. Though he listened carefully to all her reports, he was impatient about her slow progress befriending Herman. She tried to explain that she couldn’t rush things, and that she couldn’t just force someone to befriend her, but he either didn’t really understand it or he absolutely refused to accept it.

“Why can’t you understand this? I can’t just go and try to hang out with him all the time! It’s creepy to just hang out with someone you’re not really friends with. You need to wait ‘till you’re friends!” she finally exclaimed one day. She shook her head. “How stupid…” she muttered.

Before she could even react or take back that last statement, he’d given her a slap across the face so hard it knocked her off the chair.

“Human scum! You DARE to insult ME?!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean YOU! I meant this whole situation!”

“Humph!” he snorted in frustration. He then glanced at her as she stood back up. “Oh, great! Look what you’ve done! Now you have a bruise all over your face! I guess I have no choice. I’ll bring the doctor to heal that. Last thing I need is people asking you about it!”

He then stomped off, returning just a bit later with the gold-toothed doctor in tow.

“Stairs again?” the doctor asked when he arrived and looked at the bruises.

“Not really. She tripped and fell face-first on the table,” Envy muttered.

“Is that so? We don’t really want to waste resources healing injuries that could be prevented, you know.”

“Yes, I know! But it’s your job to heal her, so just do it!”

The doctor only grinned and there was a flash of red light and the pain from the bruises was gone.

“Do be more careful, girl. First stairs, now tables! What will be next?” he said, shaking his head.

“I’ll be careful. Thanks.”

The doctor turned away and left the room. Envy was pacing back and forth in frustration.

“Hey, Envy…?”

“What do you want now?!”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.”

“Yes, you’d BETTER do so! We’re running out of time here!”

Well… that actually explained his temper. He was starting to get desperate. As much as she understood it, she still really hated the fact that he was taking out the anger on her. Still, it wasn’t like it was something new. He often did that. She could even consider herself used to it. Whether this was a good thing or not, she could no longer tell. She had the vague feeling that, before she’d been stuck here, she might have had some opinion one way or the other. Now, though, it didn’t seem important. What was important was making sure he didn’t get angry. After this outburst, she felt sure that he did actually understand she couldn’t rush things, but he was just too frustrated about it and just had to vent. After all, after that, he’d seemed calm enough.

Her chance to actually succeed in her mission came not too long after that. It had been an especially gloomy day, with endless rain. She had been dreading having to walk back to her “home” after the work day was over. Envy hadn’t even been around that day, either, so she figured she would have to spend a lot of time alone that day. And then, after she had gotten her lunch tray and was looking for a place to sit, she found that Herman was nearby… and for once, he was alone. There were no other places nearby she could sit at. The other empty seats were pretty far and, since she had to use the cane to walk around (and the rain always made her pains increase), she really dreaded having to walk across the whole place carrying a tray. She supposed this was the perfect chance to actually take the initiative here. She felt too shy to actually approach and was considering actually walking across the room, but then she remembered the gigantic slap across the face she’d just gotten a few days earlier. She really didn’t want one of those again. Gathering her courage, she approached the empty seat.

“Is this seat taken?” she asked, shyly.

“Oh, not at all! Come, sit!” Herman replied cheerfully. “Alice, was it?”

“Thank you. And… yes. I’m Alice.”

“Well, pleased to really get a chance to talk to you at last, Alice. I’m sure you know me already, but I really think it’d be proper to introduce myself right! I’m Herman. Herman Monsar.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance properly,” Alice smiled.

“Heh. Yeah, you’ve been here for a while now, and we never really talked about more than the weather. I’ve heard you’re not really from Central, though.”

“Yes, it’s true. I come from a small town pretty far from here.”

“Well. I’m sure you’ve been asked this a bit, but… what brings you here to Central?”

“I… couldn’t stay back home. So I came here. A good friend offered to help me find a job here and… well… start over. And thanks to him, that’s what I’ve done.”

“Sounds good,” Herman nodded. “How are you adapting to life in a city like Central? It must have been tough to suddenly find yourself here when you were living in a small place. My fiancée Lily… she had such trouble! Still does even after a few years.”

“I… haven’t really focused on that. I don’t go out much, really. I just come to work here, and mostly stay at home. I guess I just find it a bit hard to feel like I fit in this great city, especially after having had to leave my old home. I… really miss it. I loved it there.”

“Well, don’t you worry. You’ll find yourself fitting in in no time at all. Central is a big place, but the people here are friendly. You’d hardly guess it with all the military activity all over Amestris, but it’s a good place to live in. But… if it’s not an indiscretion… why did you have to leave your old home?”

Alice paused for a moment. He sounded so kind, so concerned. What could she really tell him? If she told him too much and Envy found out, things would be bad. But at the same time, she didn’t want to stay totally silent about it. For so long now, she’d had to endure her situation with no comfort aside from what little cold comfort she could take in the strange sort of “friendship” she’d developed with the cruel Homunculus who looked after her. The weight of that seemed almost too much to bear, especially now that she was so reminded of the desperate need she had for some sort of emotional warmth. And here was someone who could possibly at least offer a bit of empathy. She felt almost choked by emotion.

“I… there was an accident… involving alchemy…” she managed to say in a slightly broken and quiet voice. “My family… and friends… they were all lost... “

It should be safe to stick to the story Envy had given her, she figured. She had to stifle a sob when she looked into Herman’s concerned and empathic eyes.

“Oh, my god that’s awful…” he said. “I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s little wonder you’ve barely bothered to look around the city to get used to it. Please, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thank you...”

The raging storm of emotions within her was almost overwhelming. She had barely realized just how much she had desperately wanted some empathy, even if she’d recognized that she sorely needed it. She might have been given food and shelter and even some luxuries that were not necessary, but she had been given absolutely no emotional support whatsoever. Quite the contrary, Envy had given her little more than harsh words and even violence. Sure, the latter was actually pretty rare, and he definitely had proven to be pretty friendly when he wanted to be (and when he was in a good mood), but his interactions with her tended to be pretty shallow. Aside from the one time he’d let her ask him personal questions about his ability to experience feelings, he’d never really bothered to try to get emotionally close. She was furious about this, and she was hurt too. She was, conflictingly, also happy that she was at least well taken-care of. She was jealous of how simple the life of the people around her seemed to be, and she was terrified of the fact that the one thing she wanted the most- emotional support and closeness-  could very well lead to the death of people if she confided in them enough. It was very hard for her to keep composed, though at least she felt glad that she had just told Herman about the tragic story she had been given the okay to share. As much as it was a story and not quite what really happened, Envy had been right: for all practical intents and purposes, she’d definitely lost her family and friends. Or they had lost her. Or both. Whichever it was, it was a horrible thing to think about and she wished it had never been brought up.

Herman was a kind soul, though, and quickly changed the topic back to less emotionally-charged things, such as how she was feeling at work, and how everyone was treating her. She was thankful for this. Those, at least, were happy topics. Everyone had been quite nice to her so far. If only she didn’t have so many things to worry about and if only she weren’t forced to stay relatively isolated, she was sure she’d be having no problem at all with adapting to this new place. It certainly would be different if she’d come here of her own free will. But that hadn’t been the case. It was still a really wonderful thing to have people be so friendly to an outsider like her. All in all, aside from that dreadful reminder of everything she so desperately needed and had lost, she had a pleasant time with Herman. She rather hated it when lunch hour was over.

“Well… I’ll see you around, Alice. And, really, don’t hesitate to ask if there’s anything you need. And let’s talk more often!” Herman said as he got up.

And just like that, Alice felt the weight of loneliness back on her shoulders. She thought it was bad enough that she had been isolated and lonely before, but, frankly, having a taste of what she was desperate for was worse than not having it at all. She couldn’t be in denial anymore. It was very hard for her to finish her workday, but she managed somehow. She quietly waited for Envy to pick her up again. He always did, even when he didn’t show up at the headquarters.

She wasn’t disappointed. He showed up pretty much on time. He looked fairly calm this day and she quietly followed him, thinking about the day’s events and how they had made her feel. She was having a bit of a hard time keeping up with him, possibly because of how upset she felt. He gave her a few worried and impatient glances, but other than that, he didn’t say a thing on the way. It was only until he’d practically shoved her into his room that he broke the silence.

“Well. You look absolutely miserable, girl.”

“I was thinking about some things… like my old home and my family...”

“Really? How pathetic. I need you to concentrate on your mission, not on thinking about silly things like home and family! Do you even have anything useful to report today?”

“Yes. I talked to Herman today during lunch.”

“Oh, really? Well! Maybe you’re not so useless after all! Tell me more.”

“He’s my friend now.”

Envy laughed.

“Your FRIEND?! Don’t be ridiculous! Can you honestly call it a friendship when the only reason it even exists is because you’ve gone looking for it… and only because I told you so? You’re USING the man, that’s no friendship! You’re using him to gather information for us. That’s very different from a friendship! If that poor fool knew what you were doing, he’d probably hate you! And, of course, you can’t even stop now, because if you do… you both could die. How wonderful is that?!”

Alice sat there in silent shock. She really didn’t want to see it that way, but the way he said it… it was true, wasn’t it? Sure, Herman was nice, but she’d only really approached him because Envy had tasked her with that. If not for that, she would never have met him, even, since Envy would not have given her the job at the military. She was using him. She had never felt so rotten in her life! She put her hands to her face, trying to keep herself composed and failing miserably as she felt tears run down her face. She then broke down into sobs. Envy gave her quite a troubled look.

“What? What’s wrong with you NOW?”

She didn’t answer. She just couldn’t form the words with so much sobbing. She’d held back her feelings for so long that she just couldn’t stop them now. She heard the sound of Envy’s palm tapping his face and a heavy sigh, but she didn’t even look up. He simply put his chin on his hand and leaned his elbow on the table as he looked at her with the same troubled expression, and simply waited. It was a long while before her sobs finally calmed down to where she could at least control her breathing.

“You done yet?” Envy asked.

“S… sorry…” she said in between sobs.

“For a second there, I thought you were going to choke,” he said and gave another deep sigh. “You looking this miserable isn’t going to really work for my plans. It’s one thing for you to look like some kind of lost puppy, but it’s another for you to look like some kind of dead person.”

“I can try to look less miserable…”

“Yeah, except you’re as pathetic an actress as you’re a human being in general. It won’t do. I guess I have no choice…” he said, looking outright upset and frustrated. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Alice looked up at him in surprise. He looked very uncomfortable, but resigned. She didn’t want to open up to him, and she didn’t want to admit anything that would give him any more access to her vulnerabilities than he’d already gotten from just observing her. But her desperation was such that she felt she would explode if she tried to hold in her feelings anymore. And it was not like she was allowed to have friends she could actually trust this to. The only person she really could talk to was sitting right in front of her. And for once, he would actually listen. It was a chance that she couldn’t waste. So she told him everything about how lonely she was and how hurt and humiliated and scared she felt. She told him how much she missed her family and how desperately she just wanted a friend and how much she craved some kind of human warmth, even it was a simple hug. She explained how desperately she needed comfort, and how hurt she had been at having had a taste of that with Herman, only to realize she was to have none of it in the end. Envy looked with a strange expression in his eyes, but said nothing during her long rant. She neither knew nor cared if he was listening. But at last she’d finally let it all out.

“I just want a bit of comfort, a bit of warmth! Is that too much to ask for?!” she sobbed at the end of that.

“I guess you humans do need a bit of that once in a while,” he said coldly.

“I get none of it! None of it at all!”

“Well, what do you even want me to do about it? The situation is delicate and I will not let you run around spreading friendship all over the place, getting close enough to people that it could mess up our plans. You have any idea of how long it’s been since those plans started to get worked out and prepared? It’s longer than I’ve been alive! Over twice as long, actually, and I’m not too far from two centuries in age.”

Two centuries?! She was momentarily shocked by this… but then again… he was not human. He was also a shapeshifter, and compared to THAT, a long lifespan was pretty believable. After all, if he could turn into anything, how unrealistic was it that he just didn’t age? She quickly returned her focus to the other topic at hand. He had a point there. What could she even ask him to do to fix this problem? There was the obvious solution of allowing her to leave and obtain friends outside of this place but he’d just said that was out of the question. There was also the solution of him just plain acting nicer, but she really wondered whether he was even capable of it. And besides, she didn’t really want to even risk offending him. That always ended very poorly. The memory of her brother Jeff hugging her when she felt sad filled her mind. If only she could have that kind of comfort…

“Would a hug every so often be too much to ask for?” she finally dared to ask, even if she also hated herself for asking that.

“That’s… all?”

“I just want a friend… a real friend. But I can’t get that. I know that. But maybe some comfort would help. I don’t know,” she said quietly. “May I… could I?”

“... You want to hug ME?” Envy asked incredulously.

There’s no one else! No one! You keep me from everyone else! Unless I should go and ask your Father for that. Or Lust or Gluttony!”

“... Well. Lust and Gluttony aren’t here right now. And Father shouldn’t be bothered with something so trivial…”

“So there’s only you. You asked me what I wanted. I just want to feel something friendly, even if it’s for the last time.”

“It’s a pointless human gesture anyways, so I don’t care. If that’ll finally make you shut up, then go ahead. I won’t kill you or anything.”

He stood up, looking pretty serious. Alice walked up to him and hugged him. He didn’t return the embrace, mostly standing pretty stiffly. For a moment, she was surprised at how… warm he felt. Then again, someone so small and yet so heavy couldn’t be anything but. It was just what she needed, though. Feeling the warmth of human contact (even if Envy wasn’t exactly human) finally allowed her to calm down. After a minute, her breathing was finally back to normal. She felt Envy put an awkward hand on her shoulder and she let go of him.

“Oh, good. You’ve finally stopped your blubbering. Now can you hurry up and give me the rest of your report?” he said. He looked somewhat uncomfortable.

“All I really learned was that Lily is a country girl.”

“Oh. Wow, no wonder we couldn’t find anything about her. Well, that’s useful!” Envy said with one of his toothy grins.

“You’re looking for her…?”

“Yup! You’ve been most helpful in this. Even for us, it’s hard to look for someone when you don’t even know where to start looking. We’ve been looking here in Central, since she apparently lives here now. But no wonder we could find no info on her. She doesn’t come from here!”

“What do you want her for?”

“It’s a secret~!” Envy said giddily. “Not like you can really do anything about it. You still have to gather up all that information for me.”

“Yes, sir…”

“Well, I’ll look into this. As for you, though, you should go back to your own place.”

She nodded and he quickly led her back to her own room. He seemed vaguely annoyed as he left her there and closed the door, locking it. As the lock clicked, Alice almost wished that he’d asked her to stay with him again. Maybe it would at least be less lonely. She couldn’t say she LIKED Envy, but she still preferred him to being alone. As the barefooted footsteps died away, Alice felt colder than ever.

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Envy had a lot on his mind as he walked away from that cell. Part of it was Alice, yes. He didn’t really often spare much time to think about her. Most of the time, if she crossed his mind, it was usually just when he remembered that he had to take food to her, or he had to fetch the doctor, or, lately, he had to take her to and from the job he’d given her. It really was frustrating to have to keep track of all those things he needed to do, but it was also true that he had a lot more free time. Trying to track Lily down had been a huge chore, and it required hours of having to listen to idle chit-chat. He usually preferred things that required more direct action, but if they knew one thing about Lily, it was that she was extremely skittish and almost, but not quite, paranoid. She also didn’t trust the military. If she did, they would have had her ages ago. The benefits of a State Alchemist license would have lured her into their grasp. If what they’d heard was correct and she really was researching such a thing as the rumors suggested, she could use all the help she could get. But the fact that she was able to do research on that with her own resources… that was what made her such an interesting candidate. He’d tried to gather information about her, but had found nothing on her origins or, well, anything much about her. And he had a lot more stuff to do, and, well, it really was a boon that Father had agreed to use their newest resource in a more efficient way.

Father had been starting to grow impatient about this little mission for a long while, since even before this Alice wimp showed up. He had been very reluctant to allow Envy to make use of Alice for the job, since it was a fairly important one. But, as Envy pointed out, since it was pretty indirect, they could make use of the girl’s pathetic looks to charm people. They’d trust her much more easily than they’d trust his usual disguise, and he really didn’t want to have to split himself into several more people. He had his hands full enough as it was. Anyway, the girl was starting to get really unhealthy from her imprisonment. It wasn’t like she was especially strong in the first place, so even a thing like being kept imprisoned was really doing a number on her. And that translated to more time wasted. And thus Father had agreed to let her work for him. Envy had then gleefully manipulated the situation a bit, letting Alice think it was some kind of gift from them. The little fool had believed it and she was quite thankful for the opportunity. Her health was starting to improve, too. So a little gesture like that and he’d fixed two problems. Talk about efficiency!

He was somewhat annoyed, though, that these past few weeks, he’d found himself remembering her a bit more often than before. He did have to spend more time with her, and he did have to take her to Central Headquarters and back and that was something he didn’t need to do before, so that was probably the reason. Of course there were these two events… that really made him feel strange. There was that time she’d asked him about, of all things, feelings. What in the world had possessed her to ask about THAT? Normally he had no real reason to think about the way he felt. No one ever asked him. No one ever cared. All his siblings cared about was that he did his job well enough, and he was good at that. No one questioned him because of that. Not Father, not Pride, not Lust, not Wrath, let alone Gluttony or Sloth. As for Greed… well that bastard was gone anyways. And here came that mousy little brat and she started asking questions like THAT. The nerve of it! She’d taken him by surprise, though. He should have knocked a few teeth off her mouth. That’d teach her to ask awkward questions like that. Then again… he really needed to try not to injure her too badly. Father was not exactly happy about having to use a Philosopher Stone to heal her all the time for damage that could have been prevented in some way. It made sense, but it was frustrating for him. He was stuck babysitting a human girl, and such a pathetic one at that. His frustration had to go SOMEWHERE. And of course, there was today, when she’d actually turned to him for comfort. He hadn’t been expecting THAT, either. Feeling the little human so close to him had been very awkward. Not to mention that her noisy sobbing for so long had been almost nauseating.

And yet… the fact that she’d actually turned to him for comfort meant that his little project was done. She’d just spilled her guts to him, telling him all about how she felt, and so many of her vulnerabilities. He had her in his grasp, completely this time. A grin crept across his face as he finally reached Father’s room.

“Father,” he called in a respectful tone.

“Yes, my child?”

“I have a report to make. Our pawn has reported that this Lily human we’re seeking information about actually comes from the country. That is why we haven’t found any information on her yet.”

“I see. This is at least a step forward. But we do not have so much time left. I expect more developments soon. Report this to Wrath first thing tomorrow.”

“Yes, Father.”

“It seems the little pawn is useful after all. Are you absolutely certain she’s under your control, though?”

“Yes. She’s spilled her guts to me and placed herself willingly at my mercy. I have her now. It’s been a success.”

“Good. I will not have her interfering with my plans here. If she does interfere I will have her eliminated, but the failure will also be on you for having allowed her to interfere.”

Well. That sounded unpleasant.

“Of course, Father. There won’t be a problem with her! She’s too scared of me and too vulnerable to give trouble. I’ve made sure of that. We’ll have all the information we need about Lily in no time at all.”

“Good. Thank you, my child. Your Father approves of your dedication.”

He smiled slightly. His Father’s praise made him happy. He turned to leave for his room so that he could get some rest for the next day. He didn’t feel quite as happy as he figured he should feel, though. The strange, awkward and unpleasant feeling he’d gotten from earlier with that brat hadn’t quite left him. He knew why he felt that way even if he wasn’t going to ever admit it. He felt furious with the girl, even though that brat couldn’t have known she’d accidentally stir up such old and hurtful feelings. He gritted his teeth as he entered his room. He REALLY wanted to go and punch Alice in the face now. Maybe she would have to run into a door soon. Or have some other sort of accident.


	12. Alchemy

## Chapter 12 - Alchemy

Alice actually felt better after she had finally been able to express some of those pent-up feelings she’d had. A slight bit of human (or, at least, human-like) comfort had gone a long way in calming her down. She was exhausted, though, and barely had any strength left to think clearly. So much crying had left her utterly drained. She had never thought she’d break down like this. After all, she had been sure that she had everything under control. And yet there she’d been, crying like an infant, resorting to pleading for comfort. At one point, she’d never have guessed she’d ever ask the likes of Envy for that. And yet… he’d actually done it. He’d offered her some much-needed comfort, when he could have denied it to her. It had probably been the kindest thing he’d done for her. Maybe he wasn’t really a monster. Maybe he really was more human than he seemed. She guessed… she maybe didn’t hate him so much after all.

He was back the next day, with her breakfast and with a lot of impatience. He seemed to be in a pretty poor mood that day, too. She wondered if he’d been getting pressured to get all the necessary information for that mission of theirs. Only thing she could really do, though, was to make sure she managed to do her best to help with that. Other than that, there was nothing she could do. Of course, that wasn’t as easy as she wished it were. Sure, since Herman was now her friend, she could talk to him more often, but in the end, there was only so much she could learn from casual conversation.

For the next few weeks, though, that was mostly what happened. There was lots of conversation, but mostly of the casual type. More often than not, Herman seemed to be surrounded with people and though she joined them, there was very little information to get. It wasn’t entirely a waste of time, though. She eventually learned that Lily had originally come from a tiny town not too far from Dublith.

“Wow, she’s really from far away,” Alice said after Herman had commented on the place Lily came from.

“Yes, she is! I thought she’d never be able to adjust to the city, but she’s doing great, staying at our big family home. I wish she would go out more, but she prefers the silence of home.”

“Well, it’s a big change! I can’t really blame her. I still find city life a bit difficult,” Alice said with a little smile.

“Yes! She’s also very dedicated to her studies on alchemy. She’s so skilled! We keep being told she should become a State Alchemist.”

“Why doesn’t she join?”

“Oh, she doesn’t really like the military. Alchemy is for the people and all that. She says she can only really trust those that have their own families or lovers… not organizations. Just individual people.”

“Really? Why?”

“She says that those who have their own family or a lover… they really have something to protect. And that’s why they can be trusted to do the right thing. After all, it’s also the best for their loved ones.”

That ideology didn’t seem especially sound to Alice, but she decided it was a really bad idea to say anything of the sort. She just smiled and nodded.

“She sounds like a woman of strong conviction and morals,” she said.

“Yeah! Some people call her a bit eccentric, but I love her. She’s just amazing. Hughes thinks he’s got it right with Gracia and is always bragging about her, but I think I hit a bigger jackpot with Lily. I just don’t spend my time bragging about her!” Herman laughed.

At least Herman didn’t brag as much as Hughes was known to do. Pretty much everyone knew Hughes: his bragging was absolutely infamous.  She laughed with the rest. There was not much to learn after that. Her workday went by pretty normally. At the end of the day, she was picked up by Envy, who was very pleased with her report. He was laughing and smiling as she told him what she’d learned. It wasn’t so often that she saw him be so gleeful.

“I knew this was going to work! You were slow and inefficient, but I think this is all we need… for now. We have her name, where she comes from and where she’s at. We’ll have to wait to make our move, but this should be enough to prepare. My, my, what would your so-called friend think if he knew how well you’re betraying him?”

“Please don’t remind me…”

“You can’t really escape the consequences of your actions, you know. By choosing to help us, you’re betraying this man you claim to be friends with. And yet, what can you do? If you don’t betray him, you get killed, and if you warn him to try to redeem yourself in some way, he gets killed.”

She sighed. He was right. She was betraying that poor, nice man. She didn’t even know what they wanted that information for. And yet, she was helping them. She felt rotten, even if she knew she really had little choice in the matter. She wasn’t going to die. She’d made that choice. Whatever it took… she’d have to do it.

“You’ve actually done a decent enough job. So I have a little treat for you,” Envy said with a small grin of contentment, his eyes lazily shut.

“Huh? A treat? For me?!” Alice asked incredulously.

“Yeah. It’s not like I’m a MONSTER,” Envy shrugged. “And it’s not like it’s a huge thing. It’s just a little treat. The State Alchemist exams are going to be held tomorrow. And, see, we have a really unique situation. There’s a child taking the test. It’s never happened before… and it won’t happen again. So I guess it’s sort of a historic moment. So I was thinking of letting you come with me to watch it.”

“With you? It’s just… why? I mean… that’s nice of you, but… I don’t get why I should get any praise…”

His grin turned slightly more cruel.

“Even so, I’m offering you the chance. Sure, you can stay here if you want, but why not take advantage of this opportunity? So what will it be? Will you come watch the exam? Or not?”

“Uh… yes. Thank you, sir! I will,” she replied, seeming somewhat confused.

“Make sure you’re extra presentable tomorrow. It’s a fairly formal event, after all.”

“Yes, sir.”

She was very happy, and yet extremely surprised. Why Envy was grinning in that nasty way of his, she didn’t know, but he was offering something nice?! It seemed almost unlike him, but it was a chance she was not going to pass on. It was a chance to breathe some air that wasn’t the same, stale underground one she was nearly confined to, and to top it off, it was some sort of historic moment! She loved  the idea! She didn’t even mind too much that Envy was staying around with her for a bit longer than he usually did. In fact, for some reason, she was slightly happy for the company. Maybe it was because he was actually being nice for a change. Whatever the reason, she wasn’t going to complain. She looked forward to the exam she was going to watch. Who was this kid? How could a kid be so skilled that he could take an exam for the military? She had already learned that even adults found it hard to qualify for the State Alchemist program. And a kid was going to take it? That kid had to be absolutely remarkable. She could hardly wait!

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For his part, Envy was more than a little pleased. His plan had taken a little more time to work than he would have liked, but it had succeeded. They had the information they needed to properly plan their move regarding Lily. She was likely their most promising candidate, after all. He was eagerly looking forward to Father’s praise. He had done a good job, he felt, even though he’d had to rely on an inefficient pawn such as Alice. If he’d decided to work the mission on his own, he was sure he could have gotten things done quicker, even if he would have had to neglect some of his other duties. Still, he didn’t regret having used a pawn for this. After all, it meant that he had gotten to do everything else he needed to do, and he had also managed to keep the girl healthier than was possible by keeping her stuck in the cell. This was the way he liked doing things.

And there was this kid that was taking the exam for the State Alchemist license. He was said to be incredibly skilled. It made him curious. A mere child having enough skill to be a possible sacrifice, though? He hated the idea as much as he was curious about it. He knew how useful sacrifices were to Father. That a mere child could be so useful and so talented… it made him angry. Still, he wasn’t going to let that anger ruin his good mood. This was a pretty great victory. The kid could wait. He didn’t even know the little pipsqueak anyways.

Just to sweeten his mood, there was the little wimpy girl. This little experiment had turned out better than he’d ever hoped it would. He knew she was absolutely miserable, as much as she often tried to pretend she wasn’t. To her, even the slightest commodity had turned into an amazing luxury. He was quite amused at the fact that something as simple as dragging her along to watch someone take a State Alchemist exam seemed to her like an incredibly wonderful and kind thing to do. Truth was, he didn’t want to have to travel back and forth to keep her fed. She didn’t need to know that, though. He felt sure that, at this point, he could probably have her believe that being given food at all was a kindness. She’d even given him SO much to work with. Her loneliness, her desperate desire for kindness… it was time to change tactics with her. He’d give her some “kindness”. Oh, she’d just soak it up, and consider him the kindest and most wonderful person in existence. It didn’t really matter that Herman was kind to her as well. After all, she was now so insecure that just reminding her that she was betraying him would make her feel horrible enough to stay at a distance from him emotionally. She was so desperate to be accepted and liked that convincing her it was impossible would make her shut down emotionally. So easy to manipulate. He absolutely loved watching her break down slowly, watching her suffer until she had finally snapped and bent totally to his will. He didn’t get to wreck someone’s life often enough, so being allowed to do so and being able to watch the effects up close made him really, really happy. Just thinking about it made him so giddy he could hardly contain himself. He wanted to laugh and to gloat about it to someone- anyone!- that would listen. Maybe he’d pay Wrath a visit sometime soon.

To be fair, he had to do that anyways. He had to tell him about what he’d learned, and he had to tell Father, too. They still had to wait for Lust to at least call, though. It’d be a bit before they really could make a move, but that was fine. Being too hasty wouldn’t help them anyways, not with the likes of Lily. What an eccentric woman! She only trusted people who were married? What kind of fool was she? It seemed that despite her intelligence in matters of alchemy she was, well, just human after all. It was amusing, though, that she thought she could trust anyone who was married. Wrath, after all, was married to a human, pretty happily at that. And Envy was sure he was not someone that Lily would find trustworthy. Then again, even if she was some kind of savant of alchemy, she was just a country girl. She was likely not very experienced or anything of the sort. Of course she’d think something that stupid. This was going to make things a bit… complicated, though, when it came to trying to get a bit closer. Not that it mattered. They’d find a way. They always did. But that was part of why Lust needed to come back from Lior. Her expertise on these matters was sorely needed.

As he walked away from the girl’s prison, he began to plan out his schedule for the next few days. It’d be busy, definitely. But in the end… their plans were almost ready. They still had a few years left, but after waiting for centuries, those few years almost felt like they’d be minutes. It was a good thing, then, that everything so far had gone exactly according to plan.

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The next day came almost entirely too late for Alice. It definitely was true that the more one was looking forward to something, the slower time seemed to pass. She was so excited for the event that she’d found it hard to even sleep. She wasn’t even bothered when a grumpy Envy was there to pick her up. She could hardly wait to see a display of alchemy for the first time. Envy, of course, took the shape of “Evan” again as he led her to a building where the State Alchemist examination would take place. He didn’t take her inside immediately, though, instead leading her to a sort of garden. He motioned for her to sit at a bench there, which Alice quietly obeyed.

“I need to talk to someone about something important,” Envy said. “So be a good girl and wait here. Right now they’re working on the written exams, so it’s not like there’s anything that you’d be missing.” He lowered his voice so that only she could hear and continued, “If you are not here when I get back… I will find you… and beat you into a fine pulp.”

She gulped and nodded, watching as he turned and left her there, alone. She didn’t know how long he was going to take, so she obediently stayed there, quietly. She wouldn’t dare to move from there, however long it took for Envy to come back. There was little to do, though, aside from watching the people that were walking past. She kept wondering if they all had lives as simple as they seemed to have. They all looked so happy. She felt… jealous, actually. She really wished she could be back to the days when she, too, felt that way. She almost laughed at the fact that, some months ago, her greatest worry had been whether she looked nice enough for a date or not. Now she had to worry about whether or not she incurred Envy’s wrath, and whether or not she would live to see the next day, let alone the day she finally went home. If she was not useful enough for the Homunculi, she would die. There was no way around that. She also had to worry about not getting caught by the people she interacted with. They couldn’t know anything about her situation. And that was just the start of it all. Not to mention… she still felt so lonely and, well, isolated. Who could possibly relate to her strange problems, after all?

“Excuse me, Miss. Can I sit here?” came a very polite and oddly echoey voice from behind her.

She turned around quickly only to see the most unexpected person standing there. It was, from the sound of it, a young man, but it was really hard to tell because he was wearing a whole suit of armor. Why would anyone cover their whole body with a suit of armor? It seemed strange, but she didn’t want to be rude.

“Oh… sure, of course,” she replied.

“Thank you,” he said, in a little polite voice.

It was really odd to hear such a voice coming from such a huge body. Then again, hadn’t she learned from Envy that appearances could be deceiving? She tried not to think too much about it, and instead went back to looking at the people that were passing by.

“If I may ask… is everything okay?” the armored person asked her.

“Oh? Um… yes…” Alice replied. “But why?”

“It’s just… you look really sad.”

She smiled a bit.

“Thanks for asking. I’m okay. I was thinking of sad things, though,” she said. This was a topic she didn’t want to continue, though, so she decided to just change it. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Alphonse. What’s yours?”

“Alice. Nice to meet you, Alphonse.”

“Nice to meet you too! Is someone you know taking the exam?”

“No. A friend of mine just brought me here so I could watch it.”

“Oh, I see. My brother is taking the exam. I really hope he does well.”

“I’m sure he will. If he was qualified to take it, he should do great,” Alice smiled.

“Thank you. I really hope so!” Alphonse said.

She did not know what else to say, so she looked about nervously. She felt a tap on her shoulder, which caused her to turn around, somewhat startled. It was “Evan”. He didn’t seem especially pleased.

“Come on. Let’s go,” he said simply.

She nodded and got up.

“Bye, Alphonse!” she said with a smile and a wave.

“Bye, Miss Alice!” Alphonse replied.

She then followed Envy, who led her back toward the building.

“Who was that and why were you two talking?” he asked in a very serious tone.

“It was Alphonse.He was just very polite and we just had some small-talk. His brother is taking the test.”

“Oh, really? Interesting. I wonder who it is. Anyways I don’t want you talking to random people. So try not to do that again.”

“Alright.”

They soon were inside the building and Envy led her to a spot on the second floor where they could watch the examinations.

“Why do we have to watch from up here?” she asked.

Envy gave her an impatient look. Since they were the only two people in the particular observation area that he had picked, he could afford not being perfectly nice to her.

“Alchemy can be dangerous. This is for safety.”

Dangerous? She couldn’t fathom how. But then again, she knew nothing about alchemy, except that it could be used to make people like Envy. Curious, she turned her attention back to the lower level, waiting for the examinations to begin. She did not have to wait long. The first alchemist soon stepped up. She watched in wonder as he drew a circle on the floor and then some symbols on the circle. He poured the contents of a bag - which seemed to be mostly pieces of scrap metal- onto the circle. Afterwards, he put his hand over the circle. Bolts of blue energy began to arc all around the circle. The scrap metal began morph and change in shape, melding together. When the glow stopped, there was a large array of weapons where the scrap metal had been. There were guns and knives, mostly. Alice watched, her eyes wide in amazement. So this was alchemy? What an impressive thing!

“How did he do that?!” she asked Envy quietly.

“It’s quite simple. The science of alchemy consists on understanding the flow of the universe to be able to deconstruct, and then reconstruct matter. So he’s just unmade the metal and then remade it into something else. It follows some laws, of course” he replied.

“Wow, that’s awesome…”

She turned back to watch the other alchemists perform their test. Everything she saw was absolutely amazing. She couldn’t help but notice that Envy didn’t seem at all impressed. He actually seemed almost bored. She guessed that having powers like his would make many feats seem insignificant. She wasn’t going to spend much time thinking about that, though. She simply watched the alchemy demonstrations. After a while, though, there seemed to be some commotion. Looking down, she saw the Fuhrer walk in to watch the examination. Unlike her, he was actually downstairs, closer. She couldn’t hear what people were saying, but she could see the alchemist that was going to take the examination now. It was a small, golden-haired boy. That was it, that was the young alchemist! She leaned forward to get a slightly better look. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Envy doing the same. It seemed as though he was also eager to see the results of this.

The boy clapped his hands together and put his hand over the floor. From it, a spear of sorts was created and he lunged straight towards the Fuhrer. Alice gasped. Was he going to try to kill the Fuhrer? He stopped before actually harming the Fuhrer. The attack didn’t even phase the military reader, who apparently walked away laughing. Much to Alice’s surprise, the spear the young alchemist had made split into two as if had been cut.

“WHEN DID HE DRAW HIS SWORD?!” the young alchemist exclaimed incredulously as the Fuhrer left.

That was a really good question.

“Well. That’s it. Show’s over,” Envy said.

“Did… did he just try to kill the Fuhrer?!” Alice asked. It had all happened so fast!

“Nope. He was just bluffing. So reckless, though. He could have gotten himself killed.”

Alice turned to properly see Envy. There was a strange look in his eyes. It seemed like a sort of restrained enthusiasm. Certainly the kid hadn’t done anything too impressive, aside from showing off that he was one gutsy person. Everything else was ordinary… except…

“Why did all the other alchemists have to draw a circle and he didn’t?” she asked.

Envy grinned.

“This one’s special.”

“Special how?” she asked.

“It doesn’t matter. Makes no difference to you anyways. But he’s talented, alright. It’s a really rare talent. So glad he’s joining the military!”

“So… he passed? Even after threatening the Fuhrer?”

“Oh, yes. Trust me, he’s in. The Fuhrer was never in any real danger anyways. Most people wouldn’t see it, but this pipsqueak was no threat at all.”

She wondered about that. But then again, hadn’t the Fuhrer just drawn his weapon and defended himself from the attack so quickly that it had not been seen? Obviously there was a really good reason this man had risen through the ranks to the position of Fuhrer. His combat prowess must be a big part of the reason. Envy gave her a sharp poke on the shoulder to signal her to get moving. She obediently followed him away from the building. Envy did not take her anywhere else after that, instead locking her in her room again.

She could not get that young man Alphonse out of her mind. His kind personality was so different from what his looks would suggest. One simply would not expect someone wearing a harsh-looking armor like that to be so nice and polite. His voice, too, seemed like it should belong to a much smaller person. What a strange man! She wondered why he hid underneath that armor. There must be some reason. However, she knew that she was not going to be finding that out. After all, she was not likely to see Alphonse again. It was a shame. He seemed so interesting! She thought a lot about Alchemy, too. The things she had seen those people do were simply amazing. She really wished she could do a thing like that too. Maybe it was something that she could do in Amestris! She hoped she could get to learn alchemy and properly experience it before she went back home.

When Envy came back to her room to bring her food, she decided to risk asking him for a favour. He seemed to be in a decent enough mood. He was grinning and had decided to sit at the table with an expression that she thought was not unlike the one he had when he was especially chatty. She was not wrong: he didn’t even give her time to talk before he began talking.

“So what did you think about the alchemy examinations?” he asked. He seemed really happy.

“It was really interesting!” she replied. “Watching people make things into new things… it was simply awesome!”

“Yep! Alchemy is how me and my siblings were born, too.”

“So you were made from something else like those things the alchemists were making? But… you are a person. You can’t make people out of things!”

“Human bodies are nothing but a combination of cheap chemicals. The soul and the spirit are the only parts that are harder to make.”

“But your Father…”

“He could make us, yeah.”

“How? Who else can do a thing like that?”

“Well… it’s far too complicated for you to understand. I don’t think there’s any human alive with the ability to make their own Homunculus… not like us, at least.”

“So… do people know about you guys?”

“Not really. A few people do,” he said. “Most people don’t, though.”

“Why not?”

“Well,” Envy said, taking a serious look as he shifted his position in the chair, placing one foot over his other leg’s lap, reclining his elbow on the table and then his chin on his hand. “People call us monsters.”

“I.. guess that would hurt.”

“It’s really rude,” Envy said, closing his eyes for a second. “We’re not really hurt by it, since we’re not weaklings. But if people knew about us, it’d probably cause chaos. Humans are pretty stupid, after all. Some chaos is good, and we can use it, but too much would just get in our way.”

Since he didn’t immediately go into another topic, she figured this was the perfect time to say what she was meaning to ask him about.

“Envy…?” she asked hesitantly.

“Hm?”

“Can I learn alchemy?”

He gave her a surprised look and then bust out laughing.

“No.”

“Why not?” she asked, somewhat upset.

“Why would you even want to learn alchemy?”

“I want to be able to do things like those alchemists did. Especially that little alchemist! Just clapping his hands and being able to do alchemy? That’s amazing! I’d like to do that too.”

“Yeah, if I thought you had any potential for it, I’d definitely want you to be able to just clap your hands and perform alchemy. But I really doubt you have what it takes. With such a sickly body as yours, I’m not going to let you even try. I don’t really want you to try normal alchemy, either.”

“Why not?!”

“Why would I give you the chance to learn an ability that could be troublesome to me? It’s easier for me if you remain as helpless as you are.”

She sighed. She knew better than to think there was any reasoning with him when he’d made up his mind. She had really wanted to try alchemy, though, especially after seeing what it could do. She figured Envy thought she might want to use it to escape. No wonder he wouldn’t let her learn, even the basics!

“What? You’re not going to CRY again, are you?”

“No.”

“Good. The last thing I want to hear is your blubbering again. I’m in a good mood, so don’t ruin it.”

“Alright, sir.”

“So you really liked alchemy, huh? And you really want to try it out?”

“Yes!”

“I’d like to hear why.”

The sudden interest in the way she felt made her feel a knot in her stomach. But she had to answer anyways.

“It’s just… so new and wonderful.”

“Go on. I know there’s more to it. I can see it in your eyes.”

He really was good at reading emotions.

“Well… I just feel so… powerless.”

“Well, can’t blame you there. You ARE.”

“Yes… but I’d like to feel less so. I’d like to feel like I can do great things.”

Envy laughed again.

“That’s really cute! But don’t get your hopes up, girl.”

He didn’t stay much longer than that, but he was still in a great mood as he left. Alice’s mood, though, was nowhere near as lucky. She felt pretty depressed as he left. It seemed as though her time in Amestris would amount to her doing… nothing important at all.


	13. Because of the Love Freak

## Chapter 13 - Because of the Love Freak

Despite having a job now, Alice lost track of time. Part of the reason was that she just didn’t want to keep track of it, because if she thought about how long it had been since she found herself in this strange world, it made her feel even more depressed. That said, she still had the one friend of sorts she had met: Herman. Talking to him was comforting, but at the same time, knowing what Envy had told her, about how they were only using the kind man, made her feel really awful, not to mention cold and guilty. And then there was Envy. She didn’t feel guilty for associating with him. She didn’t really have much of a choice anyways. And she wasn’t using him, or being cruel to him. That guilt lied entirely on him. He was the cruel one and he was the one using her. And yet he was the only one she really found the most comfort in. Her friendship with Herman was built on lies, after all, but there were no lies in her relation to Envy. He was the only one that knew about her situation, and he was the only one she could really trust without fearing that something terrible would happen to him. Sometimes he made her wish something DID happen to him, but every time she thought that, she eventually felt bad about it. Maybe he just couldn’t help being that way. Maybe what Lust had said about that being his idea of being friendly was true after all.

Still, as time passed, she felt she made no further progress on whatever it was Envy wanted her to learn about Herman and Lily. She was impressed at how secretive Lily apparently was. She met with no one but her future husband, and no one seemed to really know much about her. While Herman talked about her a fair amount, there was never much about what she actually did. There was a lot about how she thought of love as the biggest, most important thing in the world. It was so very important to her, that she refused to even see people who she didn’t consider were living a life of love. It was extremely weird, she felt. But there was nothing she could do. All she did was continue to report to Envy. It was a routine she had gotten used to, and she just allowed herself to follow it without thinking about how long she’d been at it, or how long it would last. It was just easier to go with the flow.

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since you got here” Envy said once after he’d brought her breakfast. “What has it been now? Two years?”

“I don’t know,” Alice replied calmly. For a moment, she felt almost horrified at the thought of having spent so long with Envy, but the feeling subsided almost as quickly as it had come.

“I’m surprised you’re not keeping count of the days. You used to be pretty impatient about time. Crying every other day about us taking too long to take you back to your home.”

“I’ve given up counting.”

He gave her a wide, gleeful smile at that.

“You’ve actually been useful to us. It’s been quite surprising. Without your cooperation, we wouldn’t have gotten all that information about Lily so easily, while giving me time to do all the other work I have to do. It makes our jobs so much easier when humans actually learn their place and obediently do what we need them to do. Now, if only that love-crazed foolish woman would stop being such a paranoid brat, we’d actually get the last things we need from her.”

“You mean Lily?”

“Yup. Can’t believe she’s really going for that kind of stupid idea. Like people having lovers somehow makes them more trustworthy. Or less dangerous. It’s really stupid. It’s also being a problem for me. I hear they’re already starting to invite people to their wedding. And I want you to be invited, but of course since Herman totally bends to Lily’s will, they won’t invite any friends that are not trustworthy. And since you’re a pathetic, unloved human, they’re not going to be inviting you.”

“So what now, then?”

“Lust is coming back later today. I’m sure she’ll have a few ideas.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” she said, mostly as a kind of neutral statement. She just hoped that whatever ideas Lust brought weren’t going to end up being horrible for someone or the other.

Envy left her alone most of that day, likely being busy with Lust’s return. He didn’t even bring her one of her meals, a thing Alice could only really notice because she spent a lot of time hungry that day, which was something that didn’t really happen most of the time. She slept for a long time, and it was pretty dark and silent when she finally heard footsteps approaching her room. Except that there wasn’t only one set of them.

When the door opened, she fully expected to see Lust alongside Envy, but she was extremely surprised when the one that walked in behind Envy was none other than the guy they called Father. Her heart sank when she saw Envy’s face. He seemed to be in an incredibly poor mood, his hands firmly curled into fists, a big frown and a few small beads of sweat on his face. His father seemed just as emotionless as ever.

“Let’s talk. Both of you, come and sit here,” he said, sitting at the table.

Envy took a seat next to him, while Alice took the one closest to the bed. He seemed just as tense and upset, and Alice was really feeling scared for whatever Father was planning to say.

“I understand you have been cooperating with Envy in getting information regarding a certain alchemist that we are interested in,” Father said.

“Yes, sir.”

“You have told Envy that Lily refuses to even see people who are not in a loving relationship. Is this true?”

“That’s what her fiancé said. Envy told me today that they’re already inviting people to their wedding, but only those that were in some kind of relationship.”

“And, of course, you are in no relationship. So you’re not being invited.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“That will not do,” Father said, shaking his head. “Envy is far too busy handling things around here to go and make friends with a human. You will have to do. You have a tragic story to raise sympathy, so you should be able to make friends with Lily like you have with Herman.”

“But… Lily only sees people who live love. I don’t even have a family here, so I can’t meet that criteria.”

“Wouldn’t a relationship work?”

“M… maybe. But I don’t have that either.”

“Then we are fixing that right now.”

“Wait… what?! How?!”

“You will date Envy as of now.”

Envy gritted his teeth as he heard Father say that. Alice thought she understood now just why he looked so upset.

“W… wait. Dating doesn’t work that way!” she protested.

“How does it not?”

“You’re supposed to choose your partner, not have someone else tell you whom to date.”

“And yet there are cultures in which young girls are betrothed with no real consent. Xing is such a place. There is no one way to do things.”

“Can’t I just SAY I’m dating him without actually doing so?”

“And… what would be the difference? You would still have to act the part.”

She thought about it for a second.

“I… guess none, really.”

“If you cooperate, you will have the added benefits of it. Humans enjoy dating, do they not? If you perform your role properly, Envy will treat you like a real girlfriend. You will be taken out to dinner, and other things that humans enjoy as dating, in exchange for your proper cooperation.”

Envy gave a derisive snort at that, scowling and crossing his arms. Alice hesitated. Would he really do that? That would certainly be an improvement over being stuck inside the cell any time she was not expected to be working. Still, the idea horrified her. What was the alternative?

“Wh… what if I don’t perform it properly?” she managed to ask.

“Then I will have no more use for you” Father answered coldly.

She didn’t like the way he said it, or the way he looked as he said it. He didn’t seem like the kind of person that would bluff. And she was pretty sure that if they had no more use for her, they would kill her.

“So if I accept… he’ll actually treat me like, well, his girlfriend?”

“Correct.”

“And if I don’t… well… I don’t really have that option, do I?”

“That is also correct.”

“I thought that someone like Envy would never date someone like me, though.”

“Sometimes we have to make sacrifices,” Envy said rather stiffly. “It wouldn’t be the first time one of us has to date a human.”

“I don’t have a choice,” Alice sighed.

“Very well. Congratulations on your new relationship,” Father said as he stood up. “Envy, you have yet to bring food to this girl. Do so now.”

Envy stood up as well, and both he and Father left the room, leaving Alice alone. Once they were gone, she burst into tears.

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When Envy returned with her dinner, he found her still in tears. Rolling his eyes, he carelessly set the tray with food on the table. He then flopped down on a chair, giving Alice a most annoyed look.

“What are you crying for NOW?” he asked, irritated.

“Why is this happening? Why am I being forced into this?”

“Because we need you to do that. It’s the most practical way to get our information. You’re our pawn, remember? In exchange for our help, you help us.”

“But… I don’t have any control over my life anymore…! I can’t choose what I eat, who I befriend, what I wear, where I live… and now I can’t even choose my own boyfriend?!”

“Boyf-” Envy began. He snorted and laughed, unable to finish what he was going to say.

She gave him a confused look, but he ignored it.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with not being able to make all the choices. We also don’t get to choose everything. For example, this. I wasn’t given a choice in this either.”

“But I get to choose nothing!”

“Would you stop blubbering about it and actually see things logically?” he snapped. “This is actually convenient for you!”

“How?! How is it convenient that now I have to pretend I’m in LOVE with you?”

“Have you considered,” Envy said in a low tone, “that it does mean that you’re going to be getting some privileges that you didn’t have before? You’re so busy feeling sorry for yourself that you can’t even see that. How pathetic. But that’s the way you humans are. Always blinded by emotions.”

“I don’t see it as a privilege! I see it as just another way in which I am being imprisoned and controlled by you people!”

“Suit yourself! But if you ask me, we should instead be working on settling how we’re going to do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for starters, do you want a boyfriend or a girlfriend? I don’t even know what your preferences on this matter are.”

“Does it even matter? You’re a guy… right?”

“No.”

“Then… what are you?”

“I dunno. It’s not really important. I can be anything I need to be anyways.”

She gave him a confused look. Most people knew those parts of their identities well. She wondered if that had anything to do with his not being human. But she guessed that did explain some of his mannerisms.

“Well, hurry up and answer! If you ask me, a more traditional couple would work best in a place like the military and with a love-freak like Lily, but I know some humans just can’t stomach a thing like that if their inclinations are different.”

“Yeah… a boyfriend’s fine,” Alice muttered.

“Convenient. The Evan disguise will work. Okay! No need to make up new stories to explain everything. Then we’re settled!” he said, standing up and stretching. “You’re going to casually let it slip that we’re dating, and everything will move forward.”

She nodded, still trying to get herself quite composed. It was hard to, definitely, but in the end, she was exhausted. Envy did not keep her company. She didn’t mind it, not this time. All she wanted was to be alone right now, to try to get herself used to the idea that this was probably not the end of whatever they were thinking of having her help them with. A long time ago, she might not have been too bothered by the idea of pretending to be dating someone, at least if it were truly necessary, but being forced into the role actually made her feel dreadful. It was especially bad knowing that it wasn’t going to be a small thing, but she would now have to act the part whenever anyone was around to see. Not only that, but Envy’s father had also implied that she would be generally treated that way, so it meant that her entire time was going to be tainted by that relationship. She hated the idea of that. She hated the fact that it meant that she was going to be spending even more time with Envy, and she hated even more that she was so desperate for some kind of real emotional connection (even such a negative one as this), that there was a part of her, deep inside, that didn’t actually have a problem with it. In fact, deep inside, she almost welcomed it.

How had this happened? She could have sworn she simply hated him. He was cruel and seemed to delight in making her uncomfortable or even outright hurting her. She knew, or at least, she wanted to believe, that at one point, she’d really hated him. She thought she remembered it. And yet, she could not really bring herself to hate him now. Perhaps it had something to do with the way he was the only one she really interacted with. Or maybe it was because she’d seen him act like a nice person sometimes. She really didn’t like him, but neither did she hate him. She knew she really should hate him, but perhaps because of how much she now depended on him, somewhere along the line, her heart had simply given up on hating him. She wasn’t even really neutral towards him, either. In the end, she just felt really, really confused.

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Envy, for his part, went to find Lust after having left Alice’s dinner at her cell. He had a lot he wanted to discuss with her, not to mention that he wanted to yell at her for having given Father the idea of having him date this human girl. For the human, it was certainly an honor, but he felt as though he was lowering himself to her level by dating her. It was humiliating! He was going to actually have to make a conscious effort to be NICE to the little brat! Then again… that might not entirely be the case. She was so upset about this herself, that perhaps he could use this to his advantage. He had to be very careful, though. He had worked so long and so hard in making sure she was broken just enough to be submissive without going overboard. Having her befriend Herman had already been a gamble and, for a moment, he had thought that the endeavour was going to cost him a lot in terms of progress. But he’d been surprised at how easily guilt-tripping her had gotten her to become emotionally withdrawn from Herman. She still acted friendly enough with him, but it was not Herman that she turned to for comfort. She turned to him, Envy. He had manipulated quite the number of people in his lifetime. And his proudest accomplishment was the Ishvalan war, just over a decade ago. Though his little project with Alice was nothing compared to that, he still felt pretty proud of what he’d done. Normally, he manipulated masses of people and then turned away, but this time he’d been allowed a project that required his personal and focused attention, in such a way that it’d be a source of much amusement, and not only that, but it was also a project that was remarkably more long-termed than his usual assignments. And the best part of all was that he got to see the results on her psyche up close. He had to admit, he was really enjoying that part of the project.

He found Lust in her room. He would have liked her to seem happy to see him, since they hadn’t really spoken for about a year, but she just gave him her normal cold gaze as she opened her door to let him in. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to be warm and friendly, either. She’d charmed quite a number of people already. There was a good reason why, when there was a plan that required someone to be charmed and seduced, or otherwise included romance, she was the one that was usually chosen for the job, despite the fact that Envy’s powers were more suited for spying and intel-gathering. And, Envy thought, he was also much better at manipulating people and situations. Lust would never have been able to spark the Ishvalan war as well as he’d done.

“What is it?” she asked him.

“We need to talk.”

“Fine. Come in, then.”

He did so, walking over to Lust’s table and sitting on the nearest chair.

“How did everything go in Lior?” he asked.

“It went perfectly well. I found a foolish man that was easily tempted. I gave him the Stone, and he’s going to use it to make a new religion that will give him plenty of zealots to try an uprising against Central. After all, the foolish people will think he is performing miracles. That little city is so poor and filled with such ignorant people that they’ll all flock to him and listen to anything he says. It won’t take too long before the blood crest is carved.”

Envy laughed.

“Well, that was easy! After that, we don’t really have many more blood crests to carve.”

“Just the North, but we’ll get working on that soon enough,” she said. “How’s your other assignment, though?”

“Humph! I still can’t believe you went and convinced Father to have me DATE that brat.”

“Yes, I know you’re a really bad choice for that, but we don’t really have other options. Even Greed would have been a better choice, but he’s not here anymore.”

“Don’t even talk about him! That traitor...”

“Are you going to need advice for this assignment?” Lust said, deciding to change the subject.

“I’m not that clueless about it. I helped Wrath too, remember?”

“Yes. Your wonderful advice led to his getting slapped.”

Envy burst out laughing. It took him a whole minute to regain the ability to even talk.

“Yeah, that was so great! You should have seen that woman’s face! And Wrath’s face, too! Hahahahah! I’m so glad I followed him. You should have followed too!”

“Please don’t do what Wrath did. You are supposed to get closer to her, not alienate her even more.”

“I told you. I’m not that clueless.”

“It was still your advice that got Wrath slapped.”

“Well yes, but I am not going to go and compliment her butt and breasts. I mean, come on! She wouldn’t even believe it because it’s not like she has much in the way of those assets anyhow! And anyway, in the end, I can skip most of the difficult things. I don’t have to make her fall in love or anything. She’s got no real choice about it. All I have to do is act the part while outside, and show her a few token gestures of kindness. Maybe give her a flower or something.”

“Envy… you have to keep her happy this time. Who’s going to believe she’s in a loving relationship if she’s looking as miserable as she is?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Envy said in a dismissive tone. “I’ll keep her happy… just as happy as absolutely necessary. Nothing more than that.”

“I’ve always kept my boyfriends quite happy,” Lust said.

“Yeah, but you also have to seduce them. Still… how do you even manage to do that? Doesn’t it make you sick?”

“I will admit that it is… amusing to see them fall in love. And I actually do enjoy their attentions. It is… pleasant.”

“Pleasant, huh?”

“Yes. A lot of the nice things they do are pointless, but some are actually quite enjoyable. Dates, especially, are quite pleasant.”

“Ugh, you’re sounding almost human.”

“Well, now, if one has to do something, might as well enjoy it,” she shrugged. “That is what you said you would do when you were first assigned to care for this girl, didn’t you?”

“I will admit… I have quite enjoyed this assignment,” Envy mused. “I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but that creature has kinda grown on me,”

“Really?”

“In a way. I had never been able to observe a human creature so closely. Despite the way I have treated her, I have noticed that she enjoys my company. She might not admit it, but I have seen her expression

when I walk into her cell, and when I leave. I expected this and worked to cause it, but to see it is… fascinating.”

“I suppose that it is understandable. Even Pride has had a similar experience with his adoptive mother.”

“Hmph. I hope Pride doesn’t go soft.”

He didn’t stay too much longer with Lust since he really needed to sleep. After all, he had to wake up somewhat earlier than usual. He also didn’t really want to think much about his assignment. If he did, he figured that he would give himself too much time to get even more frustrated than he already was.


	14. Flowers

The next day, he brought a lovely red rose with Alice’s breakfast. Having had no real time to have breakfast himself, he’d also brought his own breakfast, managing to fit them both into the same tray. He set it on the table, turning to see Alice was still asleep. He frowned. What a lazy brat. Really, he couldn’t stand it when he had to waste time like this. Then again, it was a great opportunity to watch her jump.

“HEY!” he yelled at her.

She yelped and practically jumped up. Still uncoordinated from the harsh awakening, she tried to get up from bed and fell to the side instead. Fittingly pathetic for a human! Envy smiled as he sat down at the table.

“Breakfast time,” he said, not bothering to conceal the amusement from his voice.

She staggered to the table, though she was a bit more coordinated. She sat down without a complaint.

“What’s that?” she asked nervously, pointing at the flower.

Envy gave her the most condescending look he could manage.

“What, you don’t know what a flower is?”

“Well, yes. But… what’s it doing here?”

Oh, great, this was like trying to date a rock. Except the rock was probably smarter.

“It’s for you.”

“A flower? For me?!”

“Yep. I do have to uphold my end of our social contract, don’t I?”

She looked almost disappointed.

“What?” he asked her. “You don’t like flowers?”

“Well… it’s just… a social contract? That’s… got to be the most anti-romantic way I’ve ever been given a flower.”

“Well, what do you expect? It is a social contract, after all. As your… boyfriend… my end of the contract is to bring you flowers. As for your end… you’re supposed to thank me, you know.”

“And then what? Kiss you?”

“...You can skip that part.”

“Thank you…” she sighed.

Well. That was awkward. How could Lust and Wrath stomach these kinds of situations? Wrath was even worse. He got into a relationship because he wanted to. That was a thing Envy could simply not understand. Why would anyone outright choose a situation like this?

“You’re going to have breakfast here?” Alice asked him.

“Today, yes.”

“Is that part of the social contract?” she asked in a dull voice.

“That too. Mostly I need to eat and won’t have much time to do that, so I’m saving some time this way.”

He didn’t bother to say that part of the reason he’d wasted time already was due to having had to find a flower for her. He really only had one more day to make sure she’d act the part at Central Headquarters. And, well, this wasn’t looking so great. Surely she had to resign herself to the situation or else Father would definitely kill her, and she knew it. It would really be a shame to lose such a great source of amusement. Speaking of which… she was fiddling with her food again, rather than eating. It had been a while since he’d had to threaten her in order to make her eat. And yet, he didn’t really feel like doing so today. One poor breakfast wasn’t really going to harm her anyway. Not to mention, he was pretty hungry this morning, so if she left her food, he might as well just eat it.

“I’m not really hungry today,” she said, still fiddling with the food.

“Okay,” Envy said, reaching out and taking her pancakes. She could eat the eggs he’d brought. That’d be good enough. If not, well, it wouldn’t hurt her. “Suit yourself.”

She looked at him in surprise.

“You’re not going to force me to eat this time?”

“Not today. But if you keep doing that long enough, I won’t really bother to threaten you. I’ll just go through with it,” he said and smiled. “So try not to starve yourself. If your behaviour becomes harmful, then I have to do something about it.”

“Right. I think I have done too much to keep myself alive to really try to hurt myself, though. There is no going back, is there?”

“There is, but all you have done so far would be in vain. You don’t understand much about your situation. You think you do, but in the end, you know nothing. You have no idea how lucky you are to be alive and how close you are to disaster. You would do well to be more careful. You have made such a great effort already. It would be a shame to waste it all. Good resources are not to be wasted, you know.”

“Why don’t you explain the situation to me, then? You say I don’t understand what the situation is. I understand that you tricked me and brought me here. You have made sure that I can’t ask anyone else for help. And now you are using me to gather information on this really sweet man and his future wife. Once you get that information, surely it will lead to awful things for them. You will probably not stop there. You are some kind of… criminal or spy organization, right? And you kidnap and extort people.”

Envy listened to Alice’s strange line of thought with much amusement. He figured she was clueless, but this really was a treat! A criminal and spying organization dedicated to kidnapping and extorting people? That was a new one! He chuckled when she was done talking. This one was probably worth telling Lust and Pride about.

“What’s so funny?”

“What you think! You’re pretty far off.”

“So… why don’t you explain it to me?”

“Because you don’t really need to know. All you need to do is keep doing what we tell you to do. Keep yourself out of trouble and don’t worry about what might happen. You’ll be fine if you do that. If you don’t, well, we’ll just have to get rid of you. But you don’t want to die, do you?”

“No… I don’t want to die. But I don’t want to be entirely clueless, either. But what you just said… something awful is going to happen to Herman and Lily, isn’t it?”

“Maybe, maybe not. But either way, that’s none of your concern. Even if harm were to come to him and his wife, what would you even do about it? Warn him? We kill him. We’d probably kill you, too, and if not, we’d just lock you up even more safely, and force you to stay alive until we need you. No more nice, fresh air. No more bed. No more luxuries. And we’d make sure you stay alive. If you ask me, it’d be worse for you than killing you outright. Though, after we do make use of you, we can always just finish you off. Of course, if you do nothing, you might be helping us do something pretty awful to them.”

He watched the intense look in her face. She was trembling very slightly, He could see a clammy shine on her palms. Cold sweat, likely. She made a choked kind of sound, like a stifled sob. The dilemma must be crushing for her little heart. On the one hand, her life. On the other hand, possible harm to good old Herman. The logical thing was to pick her own life over his, definitely. It was the one she had the most control over. But he could tell that it was incredibly difficult for her to keep to that decision. It hurt her, and he delighted in it. He had to restrain himself from continuing to needle her about this, though. Much as he wanted to watch her squirm, he was supposed to be trying to get close to her. Or something like that.

“Are you ever going to tell me anything more about what you’ve involved me in?” she asked, her voice sounding as strangled as her emotions seemed to be.

“Maybe. If you behave yourself,” he replied with a smile. Smiles were good and friendly, after all. Right?

He wondered if he should have swiped Alice’s eggs rather than the pancakes. The military diner was really using some cheap goods to make these. It was convenient to take food from there, at least sometimes, but it wasn’t always the most enjoyable food. Today, though, he really couldn’t be bothered trying to cook something himself. In fact, he really needed to hurry up. Pride was going to visit today, and there was much that needed to be discussed regarding Lust’s assignment to Lior, and even Envy’s own assignment to find the rest of the information on Lily. He wondered if Pride had already been told that the assignment required him to date this human brat. Ugh. Pride would find this way too amusing. The last thing Envy wanted was that bastard mocking him or something. His annoyance at this idea must have shown, for Alice was looking at him pretty intently.

“You don’t look very happy,” she noted.

Nosy little brat.

“Tch. Keep eating.”

“I’m only trying to hold up my end of… you called it a social contract, right? I’m supposed to ask about how you’re feeling and that kind of thing, and worry and fret if you’re feeling unwell. Technically, you’re supposed to do the same for me, but… I don’t think it comes very naturally to you.”

The nerve of this brat! It seemed she only really cared to act the part of a girlfriend when it came to the most awkward and annoying stuff!

“I don’t need those kind of pathetic human worries. I don’t need your pity or concern or anything else like it. Save that kind of mushy stuff for when appearances actually matter,” he snapped.

“Alright. Sorry, sir.”

Envy gulped down the rest of his breakfast as fast as he could without having to practically imitate Gluttony’s eating habits. He had more class than THAT. Of course, the girl wasn’t done eating yet. Well, no matter. He would return her plates to the diner later. Right now, it was time to go to Father’s room. He got up, stretching his body slightly. As used as he was to his own weight, it just felt nice to stretch slightly when getting up. It made it easier to move, even if just by a bit. Ah, right. He had to give the human brat a token gesture of friendliness before he left.

“I must go now. I do hope you have a nice day.”

“Thank you,” she answered, sounding positively confused.

He couldn’t blame her for that. If he was completely honest with himself, he didn’t feel much different himself. Worrying about his feelings? A human? It was insulting, and yet almost flattering. Certainly, it was a new feeling. He wondered if it was for a similar reason that Pride had gotten to like Wrath’s wife. Of course, he couldn’t just go and ask him that. Pride was not the easiest person to approach. Father might know, but he might also take this concern as a sign of weakness, and so might Wrath and Lust. Gluttony was too stupid to help and Sloth was not only away, but he also would probably just fall asleep in a minute and it would be like talking to a wall. And even if he were awake, the wall was probably smarter and more helpful. In the end, as usual, there was no one. Frustrated, he forced the matter to the very back of his mind, quickening his pace towards Father’s room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alice felt even more confused when Envy left. He made no sense. He told her that they both had to conform to the expectations in the “social contract”, but didn’t seem to be clear on what that entailed. Not to mention that when she had tried it, he immediately had pushed her away. What was she even supposed to do, then? This seemed as though it would be harder than simply keeping herself out of trouble. Just making sure he didn’t lose his temper was relatively easy. She just nodded and did not challenge him and things went smoothly. Keeping a poker face so that he did not pick on any weak spot wasn’t as easy, but she was used to it anyways. It was almost a game at this point: how long could she keep him from picking up on something to needle her with? He was much better at picking up on things than she was at hiding them, but it was just the way her situation was. It no longer filled her with despair.

The flower he had brought her today was quite pretty. She liked the color red a lot and not just because of her hair color. It was more because she really liked roses. They’d had a lawn with roses in the house she grew up in and she had many fond memories of those times. The yellow, pink and purple colors that roses came in were also among her favourite colors. She held the rose in her hands. It was quite fresh, likely picked that very morning. Maybe it had meant nothing to him, but she still felt thankful for it. It was a reminder of things in life that could actually be beautiful. She only wished she had somewhere to put it in. Though he had given her a flower, he had not noticed there was no vase to put it in. Perhaps she could ask him for one. For now, she might as well use the glass of milk, fill it with water, and just put the rose there.

After doing that, she settled down to just wait. It was not like she had much other choice anyway. She still had books to read, since Envy had continued to bring her books every so often. He really had bad taste in them, though, always picking things about war and other unpleasant topics. Sometimes he even picked the same books he had brought previously. This seemed to happen more often when it came to the Ishvalan war. She must have read the same book about it at least three times and at least four other books about it. What his fascination with that topic was she did not understand, but it kind of creeped her out. She figured she might as well ask him sometime.

It wasn’t long before her thoughts turned back to Herman and this plot she had been involved in. She had grown to genuinely like Herman. He was the kind of person that the world needed: well-meaning and kind. She was curious about Lily too. She seemed to value love and family above all else, and Herman seemed to be the kind of person that would only like kind and wonderful people. He was so fond of Lily that she must be a wonderful person. She really wanted to meet her, though she knew that she didn’t want to see anyone who didn’t live up to her strange ideals. Of course, her new relationship (if one could call it that) with Envy might actually change things. If she really could convince Herman that she met Lily’s standards of being dedicated to love, then she might actually get to meet Lily. She’d like that. However, she was also conflicted about it. Envy had laughed at her idea that he and the rest of his siblings were some criminal organization dedicated to kidnapping and extorting people, but what else could they really be? Why would they be secretly gathering information on someone like Lily? What could they possibly want with her? And why couldn’t they go through more official channels to get this information? Why did it have to be obtained by trickery? She felt tempted to just say that she didn’t want to keep doing this and that she would prefer to be locked up until whenever they needed her. But when that thought so much as entered her mind, she could remember only too well the one time she’d tried to escape. Envy’s furious response had been overwhelming. She could still almost hear the cracking of her own bones, her own screams and could almost feel the blows that had left her nearly dead. Her hands began shaking, and she felt cold sweat drip down her face. She couldn’t bear to face that wrath again. She just couldn’t. That incident still gave her nightmares. It had been an incredibly unwise decision to try to run away, definitely. The resulting punishment was her own fault and no one else’s, that was true, but she just wasn’t going to make that mistake twice. Not even for someone nice like Herman.

Distraught with the thought of causing indirect harm to kind, innocent people, Alice grabbed the nearest book. Another one about the Ishval war. Right now, even that was more pleasant than the idea that she might be indirectly helping Envy and his family murder an innocent couple. She focused on the book, temporarily forgetting the whole situation… at least until the door slammed open. Envy was looking quite agitated as he practically tossed the tray on the table and turned to leave.

“You’re not staying?” Alice asked in surprise. She didn’t exactly want to spend much time with an upset Envy, but she was really curious as to what in the world had happened to make him so upset.

“No,” he said. Then he paused. “On second thought, fine. I’ll stay only because you asked so nicely.”

She was about to point out that she hadn’t asked him to stay, but she decided that it was just safer to say nothing and go along with it. If his temper was dreadful at the best of times, she really didn’t want to provoke him when he was already upset about something.

“Are you… hungry?” she asked cautiously. Maybe if she distracted him a bit, he’d stop being so upset. This was like a ticking time bomb, after all.

“No.”

“Are you… okay?”  

“Stop acting so concerned about me, it’s creeping me out!” Envy snapped. He took a deep breath. “What I mean to say is that it’s actually insulting for you to be asking me things like that, as though I can’t take care of myself or something.”

“I was just trying to make some conversation. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up and eat.”

She did so, even though she still wasn’t feeling especially hungry. She knew better than to make him even think that she was defying him. He was looking at the flower he’d brought her in the morning now, seemingly starting to calm down from whatever it was that had upset him.

“Why’d you go and put the flower in that glass?” he asked.

“I didn’t want it to just die.”

“That’s stupid. It’s going to die anyways.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But this way it lasts a bit longer.”

He gave her a pretty curious look.

“You humans are really weird. That flower’s been cut from its life source. It’s not going to last long at all. And really, even if it weren’t cut, it’s not like it’d last forever either. What’s the use of prolonging its life just a few days?”

“Well… I get to enjoy it that much longer. It might seem silly to you, but even a few days longer is worth it when it comes to enjoying something.”

“The way you acted this morning, I figured you didn’t even like it.”

“No, I did. It was just weird, coming from you, that’s all.”

“I told you. It is only part of our social contract. You heard Father. If you cooperated willingly, you would get treated like a girlfriend and given things that humans enjoy in dating. One such thing is the gift of flowers. It is one of the most basic things, too, so I don’t understand why you would find it surprising.”

“Well… I just didn’t really think you would do it.”

“Why not? Father told me to.”

The fact that disobeying his father seemed like such an alien concept to him surprised Alice. He had such a strong personality that she did not really picture him as the obedient type.

“It’s just that you’re not romantic at all. I mean, no boyfriend ever goes and calls a relationship a social contract. It is the most un-romantic thing ever. And then you bring me a flower? That is just unexpected.”

“Human boyfriends, maybe. But Father asked me to treat you like my girlfriend. You know. Treat you like I would treat a girlfriend, not like someone else would. Except at Central Command, I guess, where I need to act like we are in a more… conventional relationship.”

That was going to be more than a little weird. Try as she might, she couldn’t really see Envy in this kind of role. He had given slight indications of being able to be nice. But romantic? Able to have a relationship of sorts? Not so much. Even when he seemed to be trying he had this amazing skill at ruining things, such as stating that bringing a flower was just fulfilling a contract. Still, there was no denying that, in the end, he was being nicer to her. It was a very small difference, but it was still something. She still dared to hope that she was right about him after all and he was indeed nice deep, deep down.

“Alright, then. I should take all these plates back to the diner,” Envy said after she was done eating. “Including that glass you put that flower in.”

“Wait, but I need a vase or something to put it in!”

“Oh, please, don’t be stupid. It’s going to die anyways. Just leave it somewhere until it wilts.”

“I’d like it to last longer, though! Just because something is going to die is no reason to kill it sooner!”

As a response, Envy gave her a deadpan stare, took the flower from the glass, then took her hand, carefully holding her fingers straight. He then placed the flower on her hand and, once more quite carefully, held it closed. Without another word, he put all the dishes into the tray and walked off, leaving Alice staring after him in a somewhat confused state.

When he left, though, he seemed to be calmer. Whatever had gotten him in a bad mood, it seemed that getting away from it was all he’d really needed. She hadn’t even gotten to find out what it was, but she was still glad that it had led to no pain or trouble. That seemed to be the most consistent metric for how good a day was: did Envy give her a lot of grief or not? Today had so far been a pretty good day. The only thing left now was dinner, and he often did not have much time to give her much grief. He seemed much more preoccupied with going to sleep instead of wasting time with her. She didn’t think that things would somehow get worse this night. It was always best to be optimistic anyways. She was kind of hurt about the fact that he had taken the glass of water from her since it meant that the lovely rose that brought feelings and memories of good times was going to die that much quicker. But in the end, at least he hadn’t been TOO nasty about it. She had almost expected him to shred the flower apart or something, but he hadn’t. Maybe it was just that he didn’t want to waste it so soon, but it was still nice.

When he came back, she could hardly believe her eyes when she saw that, alongside the tray with her dinner, he was carrying a small glass vase. He was not in a terrible mood, either, though he was not exactly looking very happy. He set the tray on the table and turned to leave.

“A vase? Thank you, Envy” she said.

“Whatever.”

She watched him leave, even more confused now. Had he really brought her a vase just because she said she wanted to keep the rose? Was he really being nice, or was there a catch to it? She didn’t know, but she was thankful either way. She quickly got up to fill the vase with water, to then put the rose in it. Only then did she sit down to eat. Tomorrow was going to be the first day where she would have to act, in public, as though she were in love with Envy in his Evan disguise. She was nervous about this, as she had no idea how he’d even act, or how others would react. In the end, all she could do was to try her best to be convincing. She found it hard to sleep after dinner because her mind was filled with thoughts and worries about the day and about what to say and do. In the end, though, exhaustion won.


	15. The Mask

## Chapter 15 - The Mask

The next day came pretty quickly for her. After all, she had not really slept well. Not only that, but her dreams had been more than a little disturbing. Most of them had had to do with Envy, but there’d been parts about Gluttony too. And none of them had been pleasant. She had even gotten up before her… well… boyfriend… came in to wake her up. He seemed surprised to find her awake, but not displeased.

“Those dark lines beneath your eyes suit you,” he said with a smile. “Looks like you had a great night.”

He didn’t need to use a sarcastic voice. In fact, his using such a friendly tone made it worse. He was really good at somehow making even good things terrible. She wondered if he did it on purpose or if it was just in his nature to be that way. She doubted anyone could really be this good at it due to nature alone, but one never knew when it came to Homunculi.

“So how’s today going to work?” she said, feeling a bit hurt by Envy’s sarcastic praise, but choosing not to say anything about it.

“Well. I’ll take you to work. I think we’ll have to hold hands or something. Apparently that’s the proper way for couples to walk together, or so Lust said. You’ll act really happy and find a good time to tell people that you and I are a couple. Or at least… that you and Evan are. Then you just continue to act lovestruck. Things should take care of themselves after that.”

“I’m not sure I can do this…”

“Well, you kind of have to. Unless you want to be of no more use to us. Or start becoming a liability. Oh, and get your so-called friends killed if they start suspecting something’s up,” Envy said and gave her another smile. “No pressure or anything~!”

“That’s just making me more nervous about this whole thing!’

“Well. Does it help if I add the fact that if you mess up these plans, you’re going to cause me to want to see how many bones I can break on you before you fall unconscious?” he asked in mock innocence.

“Not… really.”

“... Repeatedly?”

“Fine, fine! You’ve made your point!”

Envy just laughed.

She just went on to eat her breakfast. She was already somewhat flustered and of course he was picking up on that. He seemed unable or unwilling to resist picking up on anything that upset her and using it to needle her over and over. She was too nervous to really be able to withstand it today. Soon enough, she would be getting ready to go and try to act in such a way that she’d convince people she’d found the love of her life. The truth couldn’t be farther from that. She was quite distracted as she continued her normal routine to get ready for her work. Envy, who seemed to loom over her more than usual, was really just not helping. She wasn’t entirely sure how she managed to get ready that day: she was so distracted.

As they approached the Central Headquarters, Envy held out his hand. Alice hesitated.

“Hey! Remember your end of the deal!” he hissed at her ear.

She took his hand. Even in his disguise, it was still pretty warm. She wondered how he hid this from people. But it wasn’t time to think of that. She tried to concentrate in seeming happy. That was the only thing she could really do now, and it made her nervous. She felt knots in her stomach. At least, she thought, it was almost like having the sensation of butterflies in the stomach that came with some cases of being in love. She could pretend it was. Fortunately she didn’t have to spend much time next to Envy. He had his duties and she had hers. It was easier to pretend being happy when he wasn’t holding her hand. It wasn’t even long before she was given the perfect opening for revealing her new relationship. Just as Envy had guessed, people had taken notice of their hand-holding. During lunch break, several people joined Herman at the table. Alice was, of course, among them, as were a few other women and a few men.

“Alice! I saw you holding hands with that handsome young man you’re friends with!” one of the women who was sitting at the table said.

“Oh! You mean Evan?” she asked.

“I don’t know his name, dear. But he’s that young man with brown hair and a cute face that keeps picking you up from work.”

“Yeah, that’s Evan,” Alice said. “And,” she said, blushing slightly out of sheer shame, but knowing it was most likely not taken as such, “well, we’re together now.”

“Is that so? Oh, you lucky girl, congratulations!”

“Thank you,” she said, feeling quite embarrassed at the attention.

Everyone at the table congratulated her. She really just wanted to hide under a chair, but she managed to smile and thank everyone. She just knew they would soon be asking her details. She was dreading it.

“How did it happen?” the first girl asked, eager to know the details.

What could she possibly say now? It was probably time to make up the best lies she possibly could.

“Oh, well… we’ve had feelings for one another for a while now. We just made it, well, official.”

“That’s so sweet!” the girl exclaimed.

During the entire lunch hour, they stayed on the topic of Alice’s love life, much to her dismay. Of course, she had to make up all sorts of things about how Evan was so nice and wonderful. She was even asked if she was going to marry him. Knowing that what Herman cared about was that she lived with the love of her life, she had to answer that she was definitely thinking it would happen. She felt vaguely sickened despite her smiles and happy words. She was really glad when lunch time was over and she was able to return to her work. Still, she got some looks and smiles from some of the people who considered themselves friends that made her feel uncomfortable. She was so glad to see Envy approach her to take her back that she almost hugged him. This had been the most awkward and terrible workday she’d had yet. Just to top it off, she had to hold Envy’s hand and pretend she was a lovestruck and lucky young woman. Thankfully as soon as they were out of sight from Central Headquarters, he let go of her. The instant they were back in the underground tunnels, he even reverted back to his normal self.

“I really hope you have something good to report,” he said after he’d pushed Alice back into her room, somewhat less harshly than usual.

“It depends on what you call good.”

“Well… something better than being found by that guy who obsesses over his wife while he has a picture of his new daughter,” Envy said with a big sigh.

“Oh, he has a daughter now?”

“Yup… and it took me several minutes to be able to get away from him.”

She could already picture Envy having to go through with that… while keeping his temper. The mental image was hilarious and she failed to completely suppress the smile that crept onto her lips.

“What’s so funny?!” Envy demanded.

“Oh, nothing, nothing! I just think it’s kind of cute how he is so devoted to his family, that’s all,” she quickly lied.

“Humph. Well come on. Your report?”

“Pretty much everyone knows about me having supposedly found the love of my life. I had many people congratulate me, and ask me if I was going to marry you, and they even wanted all the details. I told them we’ve had feelings for each other for a while and just made it official. And of course, since you’re supposed to be the love of my life, I had to say that marriage certainly is a thing we’re considering.”

“You told them WHAT?!” Envy yelled, his eyes wide in shock.

“Well… isn’t it expected that people marry the love of their life and isn’t that what I’m supposed to be pretending you are?” she asked hesitantly.

Envy slapped his face so hard that a small bolt of red energy was let out from it.

“YOU IDIOT!” he yelled. “I hate you so much!”

Without another word, he left, leaving Alice quite confused. He did not bring her dinner that night.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was very hungry the next day by the time Envy brought her any breakfast. By the way he held his fist tightly closed and the stiff way he was walking, Alice figured he was still upset from last night. She didn’t understand why it was, though. Hadn’t she been doing what she’d been asked to do? Why was he so annoyed by it? She figured that if she’d actually done something wrong, he would have beaten her to a bloody pulp. He hadn’t, so obviously she’d not really harmed their plans, so what was up with him? Truly, he was not the most predictable person she’d met, but even after spending time with him nearly daily for years, she was completely baffled. He grit his teeth as he approached and put the tray on the table.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, worried that there might be a concrete reason he seemed so annoyed. If there was, she needed to know so as to try not to provoke him into a rage.

“You really are an idiot!” he snapped.

“I don’t understand, though. What did I do?”

“Of course you don’t understand! That’s why you’re an idiot!”

“If this is about yesterday… I was doing what you asked me to do.”

“Yeah, without even thinking.”

“Your plans aren’t ruined, are there…?” she asked, scared.

“No. No they’re not. You wouldn’t be talking if they were. You wouldn’t even be in one piece.”

“Then what did I do?!”

“You’ll find out eventually,” Envy said between gritted teeth.

That sounded more than a bit ominous. She felt her heart skip a beat. Had she made some kind of mistake that would come back to haunt her?

“Um… are you going to have breakfast?” she asked, trying to change the topic.

“I already did,” Envy answered. “What’s it to you?”

“Just wondering, since you sometimes eat here.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up.”

She nodded and ate pretty quickly. The lack of dinner from the night before had certainly left her with quite the appetite. And then, once more, she got ready for her day. She was not entirely looking forward to it, though it was probably better than hanging around where there was no place to hide from an annoyed Envy. At least he could not do something nasty where everyone could see. However, she was likely going to have to deal with the people she had pretended to befriend asking her all sorts of questions and commenting on her new relationship. It was, after all, the newest gossip in that social circle.

Luckily for her, it didn’t take too long for people to finally stop bringing the topic up. Alice was more than a little relieved. She’d thought that if she had to talk one more time about how wonderful and sweet and amazing “Evan” was, she was going to explode. It was a month or two before the topic was brought up again, this time by Herman, who caught up with her as she was heading to the diner for lunch.

“Hey, Alice! I need to talk to you, if that’s okay,” he said.

“Sure!” Alice replied, wondering what it was that Herman wanted to say that couldn’t wait for when they were at the table.

“You and Evan… you’re still going strong?”

“Yes, quite!”

“Does he make you happy?”

“It’s complicated,” Alice giggled, figuring she might as well laugh at the utter annoyance of this topic being brought up again. “I wouldn’t say he makes me happy, so much as we’re just happy together.”

She wondered if that was cheesy enough. Apparently it was, since it made Herman smile.

“Are you two really thinking of marriage, so soon?”

“Yeah, I know it seems like it’s soon, but we’ve really known each other for years now, and we’ve spent a lot of time together. When I came to Central after the… accident… he was the one who gave me a place to stay and helped me get back on my feet. We’ve lived in the same building for all this time. I owe him a lot, though, honestly, my feelings weren’t really born from that gratitude. They came a bit later since we just got along so great.”

“Ah, I see. So you really know him well.”

“Yes! He’s so kind and gentle and just wonderful. I couldn’t be happier, or any more lucky, to love and be loved by a man like him.”

She could hardly believe how easy it was to lie about that now. Years back, she didn’t think she would have been able to stomach calling him anything even remotely nice, let alone something like this.

“You can’t understand how happy it makes me to hear that. Lily and I had been so worried that your soul would be forever hurt and crippled from the trials you’ve been forced to see. But there’s nothing like love to fill in the voids in any heart,” he said.

She smiled at him, while managing to stop herself from rolling her eyes. As kind as he was, his ideas of love were really cheesy. Had she ever really thought that way too, way back in the day? She couldn’t actually remember anymore.

“But, Alice… I still worry a bit,” he continued. “Your eyes sometimes seem… sad.”

Uh-oh. That wasn’t good. Yet, she thought she had the perfect excuse.

“Sad? Oh, no! I mean, I still think of my family and my friends once in a while… but mostly I’m just tired. I don’t really like to say anything about it, but the reason I need this cane to walk,” she said, gesturing to the black cane she was leaning on, “is because of a sickness. It also makes me tired. I’m very happy, but sometimes I might look tired. I guess it just looks like sadness, but that’s not the case.”

“Oh! Well, yes, that would explain it. Well, that really calms my worries. I am really sorry to have brought this up, but I needed to know. Thank you for your trust, Alice.”

“It’s no problem at all!”

With that he kept walking towards the diner. Whew. That was over. Still, she was mildly surprised at how she wasn’t so bothered any longer by having to talk as though she loved “Evan”. Perhaps it was because in the end, aside from his bringing her a flower or two for her vase every so often, very little had seemingly changed between her and Envy. He did spend more time with her and tried a bit harder to control his temper with her, but in the end, he was still the same old, cruel Envy he always had been. She was used to him. She actually kind of liked him when he wasn’t in a bad mood.

Envy spent a whole three minutes laughing when Alice gave him that day’s report in the evening.

“You said THAT?! About ME?!” he exclaimed in glee when he was finally able to catch his breath.

“Yes… I think it convinced him, though.”

“Well, well, I’ve had to say quite a few lies myself, such as how I find you pretty and cute. I even called you smart once. Oh, and a great kisser.”

“Geez, thanks…” she muttered. “Wait a minute, kisser?”

“Yup. Lust said I was supposed to have kissed you at least once by this point.”

“You’re not going to, though… are you?” she asked, a bit of worry in her voice.

He said nothing, instead giving her a very patronizing and scornful look.

“Anyways, he then went on about how love fills the voids in any heart and that he was so happy for me, but I still looked kind of sad. So I just told him I am not sad, but just tired because of my illness. That seemed to satisfy him completely,” she said.

“Hahahah! Love filling all the voids of the heart? What a foolish human thing to say!”

“I’ll admit… I used to think that way too,” Alice said sadly.

“Hm?” Envy queried, a look of mild curiosity on his face.

“I used to think love was this great mystical force that was capable of anything. I used to think that there was such a thing as a twin soul, your true love, whom you would recognize the moment you saw them. And they would recognize you too. And that the love would change you so much that anyone looking at you both would be able to sense it and know it was true love. And all it would bring was happiness and all sorts of great things.”

“In other words… you read a lot of stupid fantasy stories.”

“I dunno. I just wanted to believe that it was something real… and when something is real, people can feel it. You can feel it. I wanted to think that love was the way dreams came true. I was looking for that.”

“And now?” he asked, a slight amount of eagerness in his voice.

“Now I don’t believe any of that. I mean… I was able to spin this fake romance into something so convincing, that now someone who claims to almost worship love as the single most important driving force behind the world believes I have found ‘true love’. If it were so real… wouldn’t he be able to tell it’s not there?”

Envy looked at her for a few moments, thoughtful.

“Yeah. You know, I never really understood why humans make such a big deal about love and all that. In the end, don’t you just end up forming contracts? You guys even sign papers when you go and get married. And so many people just swear undying love to each other, even go and sign the contracts, and next thing you know, they’re fighting and abusing each other until one of them runs off heart-broken. Not to even mention the cases of people that do stupid things in the name of supposed love. Things like killing, sometimes themselves. Why, there’s even stories like that and people think them so romantic. Some people even think that they can’t live life without love, and that they can’t have happiness on their own unless they have this perfect love. There’s nothing logical about all these things. I don’t get it.”

“I don’t think it’s supposed to be logical. I think it’s just supposed to feel good. I guess those ideals just aren’t true, though. The whole thing about true love and all.”

Envy chuckled a bit.

“I suppose you’re a bit less stupid than most love-struck humans,” he said.

“I don’t know if I’m less stupid or just really jaded.”

“Makes no difference! You’re actually being a bit logical here. Isn’t that what matters? In the end you’re still stupid anyways. All you humans are, even if some are less stupid than others.”

“And you Homunculi are really smart?”

“Yep! Well… except for Gluttony and Sloth. I think Father had run out of intelligence to give away when he made those two.”

“I know Gluttony, or at least I’ve seen him. I don’t know Sloth, though.”

“You’re not missing out on much. He’s just this big, slow, stupid oaf.”

“So you’re all named after… sins? Why?”

“That’s what Father wanted.”

“So… there’s seven of you?”

“Yup.”

“Am I ever going to meet the others?”

“Maybe. Pride is kind of curious about you. He wonders what kind of human you are. Greed you won’t get to meet, though.”

“Why?”

“Because that bastard is a traitor that ran off a hundred years ago. We’re still looking for him.”

She had a feeling that if they ever found Greed, she would get to meet nothing more than a corpse. There was outright venom in Envy’s voice. Well. There went his mood. It was probably safer for her to just fall silent now. She didn’t want to provoke him into one of his rages. After she went quiet, though, he didn’t spend much longer there. Alice was left to her thoughts again.

Was she really so jaded? Had she really changed that much since she had come to Amestris and met the Homunculi? If she really tried, she could remember a girl that was usually cheerful and energetic despite a few physical shortcomings. She was strong-willed and fairly assertive, having had to advocate for herself due to the problems she’d lived through. She was optimistic, though, and idealistic and had been looking for love, certain that Mister Right was just around the corner. Her brother had been quite encouraging, and her life had seemed pretty much perfect. Was she the same person now? What she saw now was a girl whose feelings were numbed, who trembled when her captor was upset, who did not dare to stand up for herself… at least not when it meant going against the captor. There was no more idealism, no optimism. She wasn’t even entirely sure anymore that she’d ever get home. She might live through the ordeal, but she might never get home. Love seemed a childhood dream now, too. And life wasn’t perfect. It was nothing but a constant struggle for survival and sanity. Had these two girls really been the same person once? Was she even sure that those memories were real? She wasn’t sure even of that. She felt… fake. Her smiles in front of her friends were fake. Heck, her friends were fake. She was only using them, after all; using them to keep herself alive. Everything she felt now felt alien to whom she thought she’d been. The person she was before would never have been able to like someone like Envy. And yet the person she was now did like him, even if only when he was in a good mood. It was frightening. She shook her head, trying to force the terrifying thoughts out of her mind. She quickly reached for a book, immersing herself into its words, desperate to drown out the other things her mind was trying to focus on.


	16. Identity

## Chapter 16 - Identity

As some more time passed, that strange feeling of being some kind of fake person did not lessen, though she managed to mostly keep the worries to the back of her mind. For the most part, she continued to act like the same fake cheerful woman that her fake friends at the military knew, while inside the underground rooms, she acted like the genuinely meek and frightened creature she felt like. Since Envy did not treat her differently, she figured he had not noticed her worries.

His treatment of her was, for lack of a better term, strange. Used as she was to him, she still never could quite predict him. Sometimes he was outright vicious. He would quickly pick on some insecurity or other vulnerability and would continue to say the most hurtful things, often not stopping until she had either broken down into tears or he had at least left her otherwise extremely and quite visibly upset. He was usually extra nice the day after, almost as if he were being outright apologetic. She knew better than that, but it still confused her. Was there any good in his heart at all? His behaviour in the days when he was nice certainly seemed to indicate that he was more than capable of good feelings and actions. Not only did he tend to bring her more flowers then, but he also tended to bring her some really unheard-of luxuries like dessert. It was never much; he claimed that what he knew of nutrition indicated that sweets were bad for humans. If he was feeling especially cruel, he would often bring her very bland foods, while bringing himself extra delicious foods (often with plenty of comfort food). He would proceed to happily eat in front of her and making sure she had none. Once or twice, he had even eaten in front of her while not bringing her anything at all. This kind of thing had happened in the days she had managed to annoy him. His reasons for being annoyed were usually quite petty. His most common excuse was that she had somehow made him waste time, whatever that meant. Other times, he was pretty indifferent. He would idly listen to any report she had to give and would provide her with additional instructions if necessary. Other than that, he would not speak much to her. And, of course, there were the times in which he was perfectly friendly and chattery for seemingly no reason at all. There seemed to be no pattern to his behaviour, no matter how much she tried to find one. It was exhausting and it kept her constantly on her toes and feeling as though she were walking on eggshells. Despite that, though, she at least appreciated the fact that none of this was fake. She had even learned to appreciate that about the relationship they had been forced into. Sure, he saw it as some kind of contract more than an actual bond, but it was a genuine contract. She did not have that luxury with anyone else.

She had a lot of time to think about her feelings and situation, except during her work day. She was usually kept really busy then. And, of course, there was the lunch hour, where she spent time with the people she pretended to be friends with, waiting patiently for them to take the bait she’d been forced to set for them. It actually took quite a while before she saw the results of that, when Herman went looking for her one morning.

“Hey Alice! Can you spare a few minutes?” he called.

“Oh, hello! Sure!” she replied. “What is up?”

“Well… I’d like to congratulate you again, for finding your happiness. Really, I am happy that you and Evan have been doing so well. I heard he looks much happier lately too.”

She wondered if it was confirmation bias or if Envy really was acting the part that well. She guessed either was possible. He was certainly not any happier than he had ever been from what she had seen. But who knew?

“We’ve both been very happy, yes.”

“Well, I guess it’s time to give you this,” he said, taking out an envelope from his pocket and handing it to her.

She took it. It was lovely and fancy, and it had her name on it.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s an invitation. Lily and I have been talking and, honestly, we both feel that now that you have something important in your life… a person to protect and be protected by, you can both truly experience life as it’s meant to be. We humans aren’t made to be alone, after all. Lily would love to meet you both.”

“Oh! Well, thank you!”

“You’re welcome. I have to go back to work now, but I’ll see you at lunch. Oh, and… I hope you invite us to your wedding when it comes!”

“Oh, of course! Thanks again!”

She opened the envelope Was it possibly the invitation that she’d started dating Envy to get? She took out the contents and read them. It was indeed the invitation to their wedding, and, of course, Evan was invited too. Success! Oh, she was sure Envy was going to be outright pleased for a change. She knew she was pleased. The plan had succeeded. In the end, dating him had not been in vain. She had to try hard not to seem much too pleased during her work hours so as not to arouse any suspicions, but once she was back in her room, she couldn’t really stop smiling.

“You look way too pleased with yourself,” Envy said with a very disapproving frown when it was time to give him the report. “Give me your report quickly before I decide to wipe that smug smile off your face.”

As an answer, she handed him the envelope, which he quickly opened. Reading the invitation, he actually laughed.

“So the little worm does something right after all!” he grinned. “I knew it was only a matter of time before they gave you that invitation. A bleeding heart like him was bound to really get to bond with you, and as soon as you actually met the stupid criteria by which he and his paranoid little lover judge people, they were bound to accept you. Now that we have access to them both, things are really looking up! I almost think we should celebrate!”

“Oh… he also said I should invite him to our wedding whenever that happens,” Alice said with a sigh. She was starting to really wonder why she’d ever thought it was a good idea to say she and “Evan” were getting married at all. Now even Herman would be bringing it up once in a while, and she really didn’t want to even remember that.

“On second thought,” Envy said with a scowl, “let’s not celebrate. Why did you have to go and ruin the moment by reminding me of that stupid blunder you made?”

“Look, I’m sorry! They seemed to be really into the whole serious relationship thing and they think a family is almost important enough to worship. And doesn’t marriage form families? And since that’s what they want and you wanted me to cater to what they consider important so that I could get close enough… wasn’t that the best choice I could make at the time?” she said, honestly trying to convince herself as much as she hoped to convince Envy.

“You could have been smarter about it and it would have been fine. Oh, wait. Being smart? My bad. You’re just human.”

“I’m sorry. It’s the best I could do.”

“Whatever. We got this invitation, and that’s all we need for now. You will keep up the appearances, of course. That should go without saying, but I’d rather play it safe,” he sighed.

“Keep up appearances? That’s all I ever do. You don’t need to worry about that.”

He gave her a very sharp look at that, but didn’t pursue the matter further: not then. He left fairly quickly that day, likely to report his success (for of course it’d be HIS success when he spoke of it) to his Father, and maybe his sister. Once more, she was left to her uncomfortable thoughts. Keeping up appearances, huh? It seemed her whole life was that. The last shred of feeling genuine had left her. She felt as fake and empty as one of Envy’s disguises. Shallow, pale imitations of someone real. Oh, no doubt he was good at convincing people that whatever he was portraying was real. But it wasn’t. Just below the skin, he was still the same inhuman fiend, no matter what he looked like, or who everyone else thought he was at the time. And why had he looked at her so sharply when she’d said that all she ever did was keep up appearances? That was somewhat worrying.

The next day, because it was a weekend, it was pretty late before Envy brought her breakfast, so she was already awake when he entered the room. It was actually more a lunch than a breakfast. He’d actually brought his own food too. He seemed serious, which did not really bode well for her. She was careful to try to keep a mostly neutral face, lest he pick up on some kind of weakness and decided to use it against her again. Doing this didn’t usually accomplish more than stall him, however. He was nothing if not extremely persistent when it came to causing grief in some way or form. She had never given up hope, however, that she could learn to behave in such a way that’d actually keep him from trying to hurt her when he felt vicious enough.

“Well, good morning, sunshine~!” he said with the sappiest grin she’d yet seen him give.

Serious face when coming inside, and then a sappy grin and an equally cheesy greeting? This could be nothing good. Looking at the tray he had brought more carefully, she noticed that he had apparently brought her a whole (if small) bouquet of roses, each a different color. She began to feel her hands go cold and shaky and her pulse began to race. He was up to something.

“Now, now. No need to be so nervous~! I won’t bite~!”

He was really not helping. She was trembling even more. What did he even want? If he wanted to make her freak out, he was doing a wonderful job of it.

“So how are you feeling today~?”

“I’m… great. Thank you,” she said. “Is… there anything you need from me?”

“No! Why would you possibly think that?”

“You’re just… never like this.”

“Well,” he said with a big, nice smile, “I noticed you were not feeling too well yesterday. I couldn’t let my beautiful girlfriend get all depressed, now, could I?”

“...How many shapeshifters live around here?” she asked hesitantly.

“Just me~!”

“Seriously. What do you need?”

“Nothing! I’m just being nice to my delightful, lovely girlfriend~!” he said. His smile changed to a sneer. “Is that a crime now?”

“No… no. Definitely not a crime.”

“What’s your problem with my being nice to you? Shouldn’t you expect it? You know, since we’re lovers and all that?”

“Are we really? I know that’s what we say, and I know you bring me flowers, but other than that? What’s changed?”

“Well. I have to actually look out for your emotional well-being. Sometimes. And I have to do nice things for you. Once in a while, anyways. All we really do is fulfill the contract, right?”

“I don’t know… you call it a contract. But… it feels fake. Where are the feelings?”

“Feelings, huh? Is that what you care about?”

“Yeah. I mean, it may not be important for Homunculi, but… for us, it’s important.”

“I see. So you have no feelings, then?”

“I do.”

“Come on, then. Tell me about them.”

“I don’t really know how I feel. I know I have feelings, but they’re… confusing. I… almost feel like it’s all fake. I’ve convinced people that I love you… and… I don’t feel the way I’m acting.”

“That doesn’t really tell me anything. What DO you feel, then? If it’s so important to you, shouldn’t you, well, know?”

“I’m scared of you,” she admitted. “And yet, I also… well… spend a lot of time with you.”

“So you like me, but you don’t want to admit it. That’s kind of sweet~!” Envy laughed. He didn’t really sound flattered. He just sounded very amused.

“Look, the point is… from what I remember about myself, by all means, I should just hate you! I’m pretty sure that if it were a few years earlier, I WOULD hate you. Why don’t I hate you?! What have you done to me?! I feel like I’m not the person I think I should be! What’s wrong with me?!”

“Nothing’s wrong with you. You know, aside from being a wimpy and foolish human.”

“Then why do I act so differently from what I remember I should act like?! My memories feel like they’re the memories of another person, like they’re not even real!”

“Maybe they’re not!” Envy said with a cruel grin.

“What do you mean?” Alice asked him. She hadn’t really expected him to echo the sentiment she’d just expressed, though perhaps she should have known better.

“Maybe they’re really fake memories! The soul is just energy and information and that information gets stored in the brain as memories, right? And the way that happens is by the connections between each cell and… oh, wait, that’s probably too complicated for you. Anyways, you can purge someone’s soul and mind from memories. Theoretically, it is possible to create them as well. And, well, we don’t know where you even come from! Who knows! Maybe you’re some kind of created entity, or maybe you’re the result of some human transmutation that went so wrong your mind got all muddled up and you ended up getting fake memories!”

“You… mean it’s really possible?!”

“Yeah! All we really know about you for sure is that you came from some kind of human transmutation. It certainly is possible that your memories were entirely created at that moment, or that they were muddled beyond recognition.”

“But then… that means…”

“Yep! All you can really be sure is real is everything that you’ve experienced since you met me!” Envy exclaimed, looking entirely TOO happy.

“But…”

“You can’t be sure your memories are real! Your callous manipulation of the people that call you a friend, your ability to lie and convince people of things that you do not believe exist… that’s what you REALLY are. That’s what’s real! That’s what you should listen to!”

Alice felt her head spin with the shock of what Envy was saying. It was possible that she was some kind of… artificial construct? That her memories were not real? He seemed to have a good understanding of how things worked.

“So… it’s… it’s possible to take away memories… and to give memories?” she stammered.

“Yep!”

“How do you even know?! You’re lying, aren’t you?!”

“Nope! Not lying. If I were to betray Father, he’d kill me and maybe remake me… but only after taking away my memories.”

“He can do that?!”

“Yeah, he can. Like I told you, the soul is just information and energy. You can manipulate it. It’s not even difficult for someone like Father. You could just be the result created by someone who didn’t know what they were doing.”

“So I’m… fake?”

“There’s a really big difference between artificial and fake, you know. And isn’t it rude to whine about that in front of someone that’s, you know, an artificial human?”

“I’m sorry. But… if my memories aren’t real… then  everything I thought was real… really isn’t!”

He smiled again.

“I know! Isn’t it fun?”

“No!”

“Well, you better start paying more attention to what you know is real. It’s just logical. I’m real. These flowers are real. Our contract is real. Our plans are real. Maybe you should just give up on the other things you wanted and just accept things as they are. You can’t really know for sure, now, can you? Not now. Later, maybe. So for now, just forget it and focus on the real stuff,” Envy said, shrugging with a sappy smile on his face.

The shock of this possibility finally began to sink in. She’d lost everything once already, when she got to Amestris, and now she was maybe losing it again. After all she’d been through, she didn’t think she could take it. She buried her face into her hands and began sobbing.

“Oh, no, not AGAIN!” Envy groaned. “What, do you want me to hug you again or something? Will that make you shut up?”

She couldn’t answer. Even if she could have really managed to speak in between the sobbing, she didn’t even know what she wanted.

Looking outright worried, he stood up and walked over to her. He put a hand in her shoulder.

“You’re not going to get all depressed and stop eating or something stupid like that, are you?” he asked.

She shook her head and heard him sigh in relief.

“Will you shut up if I let you hug me again?”

She didn’t really want to, but at this point in time, she felt desperate. Again. He was really her only source of comfort, and, if he really was right about that theory of his, the most real thing in her life. She nodded.

“Ugh, fine. Just quit blubbering so I can finally sit down and eat in peace.”

Since it had been a long time since the doctor had healed her symptoms, she couldn’t really get up unaided. With a big frown, Envy held out his hand so she could pull herself up. After she stood up, she gave him a hug again. Like the last time, he stood quite stiffly and awkwardly. She even felt a slight flinch as a tear fell on his shoulder. Still, the warmth was comfort enough. It wasn’t like she could get anything more than that, anyways. He felt real, though. Whatever else was false, he wasn’t. That, at least, gave her a sort of anchor and assurance that she existed after all, at least in some way.

“Just don’t try to make a habit out of this. Next time you’re blubbering like that I might just give you a really good reason to cry,” he growled.

She nodded, letting go of him and forcing herself to stop crying. Though she did feel somewhat better, she was still upset. It was best to just try to act calm. Maybe if she acted calm enough, she’d convince herself to really become that, just as she had convinced others of the lies she had fabricated about her love life. For now, she sat at the table again. This might not have been the kind of date she remembered really wanting, but it was the only thing she had. Even if it was just a social contract, it was, for lack of a better term, real.


	17. Embracing the Illusion

## Chapter 17 - Embracing the Illusion

If one thing changed in Alice’s demeanor, it was that she was even more resigned to her fate. She no longer resented Envy at all. Maybe she was just too tired to. She was still terrified of his formidable temper, but her emotions seemed dampened. Her fear was more of an intellectual thing, where she knew that Envy was extremely dangerous when provoked, but she didn’t really feel much of it anymore. It was just habit to try to keep him from losing his temper. Despite how she felt though, she did not lose her ability to keep pretending to be a totally normal and happy person in a traditional life and relationship. It was almost a second nature now. Still, she wished that the assignment would be over soon. It was somewhat tiring to keep up a facade of being a happy and cheerful girl when she felt so cold and empty inside.

Much to her annoyance, Herman and Lily apparently took their sweet time to arrange things. Their wedding had still been almost a year away when they had given her the invitation. Even now, it was still a few months away. She found this somewhat annoying, really, since when there was a lack of things to gossip about, it usually happened that several people would turn to, well, pretty much everyone’s love lives. And at some point the dreaded question would be posed: ‘When are you and Evan getting married?’

She really hated that question. Why would they even care about that? She didn’t really want to get married anyways, not to him of all people. But she couldn’t tell them that. She just wished they’d all forget she’d ever said that. Her answer was always the same: she didn’t know yet. And they still kept asking her over and over about it. That was quite a pain. She wished she could just tell them all to back off and stop asking her those kinds of questions, but that was just not going to fit in with her act.  

She’d had to report these questions to Envy a few times, too, and he was not at all pleased. Once, he’d been so angry that he slammed his hand on the table and broke it. He’d brought the alchemist doctor to fix it later, though. This had at least been pretty interesting to watch. Unlike the times when he’d healed her with a red light, he had drawn a circle on the floor and then there had been a blue light. When it cleared, the table was as good as new. The power of alchemy never ceased to amaze her. But other than the side-effect of that one event, these were unpleasant reports to have to give. All she wanted was for Herman and Lily to get married, and then maybe the assignment would soon end.

Not that there weren’t perks to the assignment. If nothing else, the promise of certain luxuries had been kept. Envy did take her out once in a while for walks or even to have dinner somewhere other than the cell she was kept in. He had continued that habit of bringing her flowers every so often, and the occasional treat. He still refused to bring her books of her own choosing, and to stop calling her an idiot or a wimp or any of the other insults he gratuitously used on her. He’d hardly had to threaten her for a very long time now, mostly because she’d learned to give him as little trouble as possible. This did have the unfortunate side effect that he would sometimes find the most ridiculous excuses to do things like dragging her out of bed. He’d sometimes enter the room quietly, for example, and, under the excuse that she didn’t wake up quickly enough, he’d just pull her off the bed. And of course, he hadn’t stopped his spiteful tendency to sometimes give her nothing at all to eat if he was particularly annoyed for whatever reason and had found no other way to torment her that day. That said, her time in captivity felt nowhere near as horrific as it had felt long ago. She wondered if the idea that she might not be the person she remembered being had anything to do with that, or if she’d just gotten used to it, or if the few luxuries she was allowed made all the difference. In the end, though, it didn’t matter. It was what it was, and she just went with the flow.

It was only about a month before Herman and Lily’s wedding when things once more started changing for her. It had been a very normal day, really. The weekend was just starting and she had been left alone most of the day. In fact, Envy had forgotten to bring her breakfast or at least she thought he had. It seemed late and she was hungry. She wasn’t entirely sure if she’d just woken up early or if she’d skipped breakfast. And when he finally had remembered to bring her food, he didn’t seem to be in the best of moods. It certainly wasn’t any sort of breakfast fare, though. It looked more like lunch.

“Is this breakfast?” she asked. “I’m not sure what time it is.”

“Breakfast? Oh. No. This is lunch,” he replied.

Well, that explained it. She wondered if he’d forgotten it, or if he’d just decided to spite her that day. It was mostly just curiosity. After all, it was just the way things were.

“Well… thank you,” she said.

He stretched and sat down for a moment at the table. He was turning somewhat away from her, so she could tell he wasn’t really here to talk or spend time with her. More likely, he was just either taking a break or stalling for some reason. He seemed thoughtful and annoyed, his hands clenched so tightly that she wondered if his fingernails would dig into his skin.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“You and your idiotic questions! How many times do I have to tell you to stop acting like you’re concerned about me or something?”

“I’m just curious. Aren’t you going to hurt your hands if you keep them clenched like that?”

He opened one of his hands and looked at it. There was a mark on the fabric of the hand warmer he always wore, but after flexing his fingers a few times, it was gone.

“Nope,” he said with a frown.

“Well, be careful, then. If you’re upset, maybe you should go and take a warm bath. Those are very relaxing,” she said, getting up to sit at the table and have her lunch.

Really, anything he did that didn’t involve trying to improve his mood by being cruel was fine with her. She might as well suggest something. Maybe he’d even take the suggestion and leave her alone. She’d rather have him stay as far away as possible when he was upset. Glancing at him, she could see him looking at her with surprised eyes. Her almost friendly suggestion seemed to have thrown him off balance. She tried to avoid looking at him as she sat down to eat. Those cat-like eyes still unnerved her, even after knowing him for so long. She could almost feel his piercing gaze. He was thinking about doing something unsettling. She just knew it.

Presently, though, he just laughed.

“Look at you, being all nice to me!” he exclaimed. “Why, that kind of sweet worry from a girlfriend could melt the heart of any human boyfriend!” His voice turned mocking. “Almost enough to kiss you, eh?”

Alice almost choked on the mouthful of food she was eating. She turned to look at him.  He was giving her an intense, cruel look. He was certainly enjoying the effect of his words. She knew her eyes were wide, and that he could see the fear in them. He enjoyed it, and she wished she could force herself to look calm and dissuade him from trying to further upset her. It was the reactions that he sought. Without those, he tended to leave her alone. But she knew it was too late now.

“It IS what would be expected of me, isn’t it?” he continued. “Couples kiss, after all.”

“Th… that’s optional. There’s no need to do that,” she stammered.

“And what if I did?”

Ever since he’d attacked her, she could barely stand it if he was too close to her, with the sole exception of the two times he’d let her hug him, and really, that was only because those had more or less been on her terms. It was different when he was the one approaching her. It always gave her flashbacks to those horrible crunching sounds her bones made when he crushed them, his strength, his bloodlust, the pain… just the thought of it was enough to make her tremble. She hated the eager look in Envy’s eyes now. He was delighting in her terror.

“It’s not necessary!” she exclaimed. “I don’t like kissing anyways!”

She was lying, but she figured she had enough practice to fool him with that. She didn’t want a kiss from him, that was for sure. She didn’t think he really wanted to do it… he must have been just messing with her mind. But best to be safe.

“Oh, really, is that true? Lust tells me that kissing is something humans enjoy greatly.”

“Not all of us!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true!”

“Let’s find out for sure, shall we?” Envy said in a cheerfully cruel tone.

He was too quick for her. She’d tried to move back, but hadn’t quite managed to get up from the chair, feeling it falling backwards as he stood up. He caught the chair and pulled it back up without letting go of it, effectively pinning her between the seat of the chair and himself. The grin in his face did not bode well. She tried shrinking away from him, but there was nowhere to go. She felt his hand on the back of her head, pulling her towards him. She struggled to get herself free from his grasp, but he was simply too strong. She felt his lips on hers, for just a moment before he finally let go. Her heart was pounding from sheer terror. Envy was just laughing.

“I have to say, I disagree with Lust on the matter of kisses. Though maybe it might help if one kisses something other than a pathetic wimp,” he said happily.

She didn’t answer. Envy turned to exit the room, still laughing as he left. Alice wasn’t even sure how to react or what to even think about what had just happened. She wanted to be angry, definitely. He’d just stolen a kiss from her! The nerve of it! She was quite flustered, and was still so when he went back to the room to bring her dinner. He noticed it immediately, smiling again. She wondered if he’d be so smug if she were the one to do the same to him. She doubted even his supposed concern for adhering to the social contract would keep him from complaining if he was not the one in control. Of course, speaking of relationships…

“When is Herman’s wedding?” she asked him.

“About a month from now,” he replied. “Why the sudden interest?”

“Well, it’s just that I’ve been told it’s a formal event and I don’t have anything to wear. A month is already cutting it close when it comes to finding something nice to wear to an event like that.”

“You humans are so complicated. But yes, yes, you need a pretty dress to wear. Now, I could take you shopping, but then I’d have to watch you try on a million dresses. I could just always ask Lust to come with me and pick something and just shapeshift into you and try it on. I don’t need to see more of you than strictly necessary that way.”

She still remembered how uncomfortable he seemed to be when she’d so much as mentioned underwear.

“What’s so wrong about that? You had no problem making me try all those clothes back before I started my job.”

“That was different. I just had to sit outside and laugh at how ridiculous you looked in some of those outfits. Now I’d actually have to look for something good. I’d rather just let Lust do that. I’ll just try it on for the size.”

“Why don’t you let me try it on at least?”

“Ugh, no. Since they’ll be measuring you and all, I might have to see things I’d rather leave unseen.”

“You act like you’ve never seen a naked woman before,” Alice mused, hoping that, for once, she’d be the one making Envy uncomfortable. It was a good way to get back at him for the kiss earlier.

She was successful. He had a somewhat disturbed face, and was looking at her in some surprise. He didn’t answer.

“Well, have you?” she asked.

“I know exactly what humans look like under their clothes,” Envy said with a frown. “It’s something that I need to know in order to be able to properly change my shape. I don’t have to like it, though.” He gave her a glare. “But about that dress, I don’t want to have to bother taking YOU to pick it. You’re slow at walking and you’ve probably got terrible taste in clothes anyways! And that’s final, so don’t try to argue with me!”

She sighed. There was really no point in continuing to argue with him. Nor could she continue on the other topic he’d abruptly changed. She wondered why that topic seemed to make him so uncomfortable. He was still glaring at her, though, so it would be a terrible idea to try to continue talking to him. She simply turned her attention back to her dinner. It was not long before Envy just left her alone.


	18. Handfasting

## Chapter 18 - Handfasting

The next day, Envy once more forgot her breakfast. She really hoped this was not going to become a habit for him. He’d usually been very good about that, except when something was up, especially if it somehow bothered him. Of course he rarely told her anything about whatever bothered him. Usually he just looked for ways to be nasty. In a way, being left hungry was better than having to deal with him. She knew it wouldn’t last, but at the same time, she was grateful for a bit of rest. She actually sighed when she heard the door lock opening. She knew it was likely to be Envy bringing food, but she would much rather be alone for now. And she knew he’d notice and keep her company longer. He was really good at that. She looked up to see what kind of mood he was in. Clenched fists and a scowl. That did not bode well. He was carrying a tray with food, though, sure enough. She kind of hoped he’d just leave it there and go away again. Instead of doing that, though, he sat down and gave a resigned sigh.

“Stop gawking at me like an idiot,” he snarled.

“Yes, sir,” she said, turning her face away a bit.

She did actually look at him out of the corner of her eye. She couldn’t really help it. When he was like this, it always paid off to stay as alert as possible. He was obviously straining to keep control of his temper. She could see the beads of sweat on his face and a small sort of grimace. He was probably angry enough to break something, and she really hoped he’d be able to reign in his temper before he actually did, especially if what he chose to break was her. After a few minutes, though, he had regained his calmer demeanor. He was even smiling, even if his eyes were so narrowed that his pupils were barely-noticeable slits.

“I have a gift for you~!” he said in a singsong voice.

From furious to happy? Something was wrong here. Even he didn’t REALLY change moods so drastically and quickly. She just gave him a wary look. He picked up a small object from the tray, but she couldn’t see what it was. He stood up and walked over to her, holding out his closed hand and waiting. She held out her hand. What he placed on it was something that made her gasp. It was a ring, a lovely white gold ring with three flower shapes made from rubies. There were small diamonds lining the ring, too. It was, she thought, beautiful.

“I know you like flowers,” he said with a smile.

“This… for me? Really?” she asked, bewildered. There had to be a catch. A ring with diamonds in it? “Why?”

“Yep. For you. It’s an engagement ring.”

… Yep, there was the catch.

“I… I can’t take this!”

“You don’t really have a choice!” Envy said, still smiling. His voice seemed almost strained with the effort to sound happy. “You have only yourself to blame for this!”

“Me?!”

“Well, I wasn’t the one going around telling people we were planning to get married, you know!”

“Just because I said something doesn’t mean it has to happen, much less so soon!”

“As much as I hate to say it, I agree with you,” Envy said. “Father, however, doesn’t. He says that if this Lily human wants to see a family, the sooner she does, the better.”

“A family?!”

“Uh, yes. A husband and a wife. Isn’t that how the majority of human families start?”

“I guess, but…”

“I don’t really care what your objections are. It’s Father’s orders, and they’re not to be questioned.”

“But why? Can’t you try to convince him otherwise? Didn’t you say that you agreed with me that there is no need to do this? You don’t like the idea either!”

“Yeah, well, I tried. That’s why I’m giving you the ring today rather than yesterday. But all I got was Father saying he’d think about it. And today he made his decision,” Envy grumbled. “So yeah! Thanks a lot, idiot.”

“Shouldn’t you have a say in this, though?!”

“Well… the ring’s design was my decision,” he said with a resigned shrug.

She wondered whether she should be furious at him or pity him for having his free will so seriously crippled. She’d noticed it before, but she’d never really put the thought into words: Envy and his siblings were more Father’s slaves than his children. Though they seemed to be free to decide the way in which to do it, it seemed that everything they did was simply to fulfill whatever wishes their Father had. She honestly felt really sorry for them, especially for Envy, since she just knew him better than she knew the others. She knew him well enough, though, that she was well-aware that letting him know this basically amounted to a suicide attempt.

“What are you looking at me like that for?!” he snarled. However little free will he was allowed, it did nothing to change the fact that he was really, really good at reading people.

“Nothing, nothing!” she said quickly and sighed. “I guess that if I try to refuse, I’ll be killed, or nearly killed and kept locked up for the remainder of my stay here.”

“I was more thinking of crushing your limbs bit by bit until you agreed to cooperate. But sure, something like that.”

“And if I agree to cooperate…”

“You get a pretty ring. And we have to continue this stupid charade. Other than that, nothing should change.”

“Before I agree to this… I need to know one thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Explain to me what you meant by starting a family. Like, exactly what you mean. I want to know just what you’re getting me into.”

Some things were worse than a painful death, after all.

Envy looked at her with a mixture of bewilderment and amusement.

“Is this about your fear of forced breeding?”

Impressive. He’d managed to take such a horrifying concept… and somehow made it WORSE just by changing the term.

“I need to know what you mean,” she repeated.

“If you’re worried about forced breeding, you weren’t listening to me when I said I don’t do disgusting human things like that. Nor would it matter if I did. Homunculi don’t produce children. So it’d be pointless to even try.”

“So then…”

“All we need to do is appear like we’re going to start a family. Like I said… aside from the fact you’d now have a pretty ring to wear, nothing changes,” Envy replied. “Were you even listening to me when I said that? Are you really that stupid or are you pretending?”

“I wanted to be sure. That’s all.”

“Yes, well, are you satisfied now? Or do you have any more stupid questions to ask me?”

“I’m done,” she answered with a resigned sigh.

She took the ring that was still on her hand and put it on, holding her hand out for Envy to properly see it.

“This is really all your fault, though,” Envy said. “If you’d kept your stupid mouth shut, we wouldn’t be having this particular conversation.”

“But nothing changes, right? I mean… aside from the ring.”

“Yeah,” he said, clenching his fists.

“It… it really is pretty. You designed it?”

“Yep. Then Father made it with alchemy.”

“I guess I should thank you. And him. Please say thanks to him for me.”

“Why bother? He won’t care if a worm like you thanks him. You needed a ring for the engagement, Father provided it. I only really designed it because a custom one is flashier and humans would think it means I love you more or something. It’s all practical.”

“Well, still… thank you.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just… don’t go and tell people now that you want kids. If you do that,” he said and his eyes narrowed as his voice became a growl, “I will make sure you have a painful and DEADLY accident… and I won’t really care what Father thinks about that.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, once she went back to her job, everyone was all over the fact that she had a shiny new ring and it meant that she and Evan were engaged. She didn’t really like the attention. At one point she would have welcomed it, but now, she just found it tiring. Sometimes she wondered if she’d prefer to just stay inside that cell every day, rather than come out and pretend to be someone she was not. Still, she endured it and tried to at least enjoy the conversations about, well, anything else. Slowly, the date for Herman’s wedding to Lily approached. Envy had assured Alice that he and Lust had already picked her dress, but he refused to show it to her until the day of the wedding.

“But how will I know if it fits?!” she demanded to know one of those nights.

“It will! I tried it on!”

“What if you got the measurements wrong, even just a slight bit?”

“... Do you want me to show you exactly how accurately I can copy your body?” he asked, his eyes narrowed.

She considered this. Knowing Envy, he was probably going to find the creepiest way possible to do this. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to risk that, much as she was worried about not having anything decent to wear. Whatever he did to prove his point would likely be awful.

“I’ll just take your word for it. But please, just double-check you got it right,” she said. “I don’t want to have nothing to wear on that day.”

From his eager grin at her words, she knew that if he’d been waiting for an opening to do something nasty, he’d gotten it. Bolts of red electricity came from his body as it turned into a more feminine shape and his hair thickened slightly and became red. She gave a gasp of horror as she realized… he wasn’t going to bother to  create any clothes.

“No, don’t do that, I said I believe you!” she shrieked.

He was laughing now, using his own voice rather than Alice’s.

“You should see your face! You’re so ugly you can’t stand to see your own body?!” he laughed.

“Please change back!” she said, still shrieking.

“Or what?” he sneered. “I mean, really, little wimp, what can you REALLY do?”

He took a step towards her and she yelped and covered her eyes. She heard the crackling of electricity, but she refused to open her eyes. After a moment, she could hear him breathing very close to her. Terrified, she peeked from under her hands. Envy was there, grinning, back to his normal (and clothed!) form.

“So what do you think? My knowledge of anatomy is pretty great, right?” he asked smugly.

“Why did you do that?!”

“Do you even need to ask at this point?” he laughed.

She honestly wasn’t entirely sure why he kept doing what he did, aside from the fact that he just was that way. She supposed it didn’t really matter anyways.

“Is there anything else you want to question me about~?” he asked cheerfully. “Any other way in which you want to get on my nerves~?”

“No…”

“Great~! See, we can get along just fine~!”

She wouldn’t bring up the topic of the dress again, especially since Envy’s reactions tended to escalate. She supposed she could just trust him and wait. After all, it was only a few weeks before she’d find out anyways. Either way, one week before the wedding, something else happened that took her mind off the dress. She was on her way to lunch when someone she hadn’t seen before approached her.

“Excuse me, miss!” he called her. “Do you know the way to the diner?”

When she turned to look at the speaker, she was actually thankful that she had so much practice hiding her true feelings. The young man that was standing in front of her was the most handsome man she’d ever seen. He had dark brown hair and his skin might be light-colored, but it wasn’t as deathly pale as, say, Envy’s. It had a healthy tinge of color. He had a manly face and was pretty well-muscled. His eyes were a greenish blue. She could feel her heart racing with the surprise of seeing someone like that here, but she kept her face perfectly composed.

“Oh, yes. I’m heading there. Please follow me,” she answered politely.

She’d gotten good at noticing people’s gestures due to her being forced to learn that as a survival skill with Envy. She saw his eyes flick towards her hand, where she was wearing the engagement ring Envy’d given her. She was filled with the desire to throw away the ring, or at least to have done so before he had seen it. That troubled her. She avoided talking on the way to the diner, worried that if she didn’t stay silent, she might betray the treacherous feelings she was having. She constantly reminded herself she had a mission and that she was now engaged due to that. It was hard to silence those thoughts, though, since, well, she had been forced into the engagement. It wasn’t like she’d chosen it.

“Hey! Vincent! Alice! Over here!” Herman called when the two of them reached the diner.

Herman knew this guy?! Oh dear. This was probably going to be pretty hard for her. Then again, part of her was also glad for this. It also meant that she would see him more often. They both walked over and sat at the table.

“Hey, Alice, you met Vincent? He’s a cousin of mine and recently joined the military,” Herman said.

“Oh! That’s nice!” Alice said. “Pleased to meet you, Vincent.”

She’d likely even get to see him at the wedding. It would be nice. She felt quite happy by the end of that day, really. She might not be able to get close to people like Herman, really, since she was basically using him. But Vincent wasn’t part of the plan. She might actually be able to really befriend him. As long as she didn’t interfere with the plan, she had no orders to stay away from everyone. She might be betrothed to Envy, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make friends. She was actually feeling pretty happy that evening when it was time for her to report to Envy and get her dinner.

“Well. Something’s wrong here,” Envy said with a frown.

“What?” she asked.

“You look way too happy. Out with it. What did you do? Are you sick or something?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. I’m just happy.”

“What!? What made YOU so happy?”

“A possible new friend!”

“Are you blushing?!” Envy exclaimed, outraged.

She probably was. Well, that was awkward. How was she supposed to explain a thing like this to her hand-fasted fiancé, who was not only scornful of feelings but also just plain inhuman?

“It’s just a new guy. He seems pretty nice,” she replied.

“Let me guess. You find him attractive.”

“Well… maybe a bit,” she admitted.

“Ugh, you’re making me sick! You don’t have time to be lusting after other people! You have to keep your mind on your mission!”

“I am. But I don’t see why I shouldn’t make new friends as well.”

“I don’t want you getting close to this guy. Do you understand me?” he growled.

“Yes, but…”

“But what?”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you messing up the mission. It’s that simple.”

“But I won’t!”

“Shut up! You’re human! You’re weak and pathetic and what’s worse, stupid! We’ve invested a lot of time and energy into this and I won’t have your stupidity messing this up!” he exclaimed. His voice then turned quite menacing. “So I’ll tell you again. Stay away from that new guy. Do you understand me?!”

“Yes, of course.”

But she knew that was an order that she would not be able to follow.


	19. Wedding Day

## Chapter 19 - Wedding Day

The week before Herman’s wedding was actually quite pleasant for Alice. Maybe it was just because she liked him already, but she found Vincent a really pleasant addition to the group. While she didn’t really seek him out, she still managed to enjoy his presence. She didn’t bother to avoid him, either. She told herself that it would be very suspicious to avoid him for no apparent reason. There might be a grain of truth in that, but her real reason was that she just didn’t want to give up the chance to make a new friend. What made it so appealing was not only the fact that she found him attractive, but since he was completely unrelated to the plan, it should not be a problem to actually get along with him. She wouldn’t need to pretend so much.

She usually did not tell Envy much about him if she could help it. When she did, his eyes narrowed so much that it was hard to see his pupils at all. He usually kept smiling, but that just made him look scarier. When she didn’t mention him, he usually looked more bored than anything when listening to her reports. She knew better than to keep talking about him. It wasn’t like he had ever really said something that would be useful to the Homunculi.

The day of the wedding, when Envy brought breakfast, he also brought a bag that she figured contained the dress that he and Lust had chosen for her. Remembering what Envy had done the last time she’d asked about it, she just decided to let him start the topic. He would have to, anyway.

“Good morning,” she said. It was always best to try to begin the day in as positive a way as possible.

“Speak for yourself,” he grumbled.

She figured he was even less happy about the event than she was. She was not looking forward to spending the entire evening and a good portion of the night with Envy, even if he was disguised. Other than that, she thought it was a great opportunity to go out to a different kind of place and see different kinds of people. She was also looking forward to wearing a nice, formal dress. Maybe she would feel pretty… for the first time in years. She really hoped so, at least. It wasn’t something Envy could sabotage, though. After all, he usually wanted her to look presentable while out in public, and that’s exactly where she’d be today.

“I’m actually kind of looking forward to tonight,” she said. “A bit.”

“Well, yeah. You probably like those kinds of events. I find them a waste of time.”

“What are you going to be wearing?” she asked, rather curious. With his kind of taste in clothes, she was actually somewhat worried about the answer to that question.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Wait, but shouldn’t you have everything ready already?”

“Why? I can get ready in like thirty seconds.”

“I guess that’s true. I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“Nervous? Well! That’s a new one!” Envy sneered. “Go on. Tell me. What makes you so nervous?”

She didn’t want to answer, but she knew what would happen if she didn’t. He’d be mad at her not doing what he wanted her to do. Then he’d find a way to coerce her into answering anyways. She’d long since given up trying to cover up most of her vulnerabilities, insecurities, wishes and other such things. He had an impressive knack for finding those things anyways, and if she tried defending herself, he’d often be much more cruel in prying out whatever information he wanted from her. It was just easier to give it to him.

“Well… this is the first time I’ve really gotten invited to a wedding. Back home, I was really too young to have any events like that.”

“Really?!” Envy laughed. “Well, would you look at that! The little brat is growing up~! How adorable~! It’s all excited about being invited to a wedding, too, I think it’s just feeling so nice and special~!” He pinched her cheeks, rather softly, possibly just trying to avoid bruising her on the day of the event.

“I’ve been an adult since before I even came here,” Alice said with a sigh, making her best effort not to try to bat away Envy’s hands.

“I suppose your age must seem pretty big for a short-lived creature such as you. But to me, you’re just a little brat.”

“If I’m just a brat to you, maybe you shouldn’t be dating me, let alone being engaged to me,” Alice said as she shrugged.

“Hmm,” Envy said thoughtfully. “Alright, look. This is means to an end. And anyways, even if this had been my choice, and even if, for some impossible reason to understand, I were really happy about this… I don’t age. A hundred years from now, this is exactly what I’m going to look like. You’re going to be dead. The only other people who won’t age are my own siblings, and I really don’t care to date any of them. So what does age matter? You humans are all the same to me, anyways. You’re short-lived creatures that can be fun to have around. It’s really a lot like you humans and your pets. You humans tending to outlive your pets doesn’t stop you from getting them, and often, you get them while they’re still young.”

“That’s completely different!”

“Really? How so? Pets are companions. Human mates are companions. Pets are animals. So are humans. The only real difference is that the bonds you form with other humans tend to be at a different level than those formed with pets. And I guess humans are a bit smarter than other animals. And even then, some people see pets as part of their family.”

“People don’t marry their animals!”

“Do you REALLY think that? How ignorant! You’d be surprised at the things people really do. But if I go into more depth on that topic, I think I’d break your naive little mind… and probably make us both lose our appetites.”

“It’s still not the same thing!”

“I said it’s similar, not the same, you moron. Of course you’re not like a dog or some other kind of pet. I can actually have a conversation with you, just for starters. My point is, unlike you humans, if I actually went around looking for a date rather than having it shoved down my throat due to circumstances, age is the least of my worries! You’re all so short-lived that it doesn’t matter what age I pick, you’d all be brats to me. Fun companions, maybe. But just brats.”

She couldn’t really think of something to say for a while. He usually seemed so much like her, so human, despite his cruel ways, strange powers and impossible weight and strength. He’d also shown a good amount of emotions. Happiness, anger, boredom and surprise were just some of the feelings she’d seen him display. He’d even been disturbed once in a while. And yet, despite those very human traits, at times like this, she was forced to remember that he was also very inhuman. His long lifespan was just one of the things that made him so.

“Are you immortal, then?” she asked, curious now. She knew he was old, but she hadn’t outright asked this yet.

“No. I can’t age, but I’m not immortal, either.”

She pondered what exactly that meant. Did his lifespan just eventually end, even if he looked just as young? Or would he never die unless he were killed? He didn’t really give her much time to ask more. He was obviously done with the topic. Reaching into the bag he’d brought, he took out something that she found really unexpected, even though she really should have seen it coming. He began to look through some sort of fashion catalog with plenty of pictures of formal suits for men. He did not seem especially happy, and he flipped through the pages pretty quickly, a frown on his face. She supposed he was getting ideas as to what to wear in the evening. She stretched slightly to get a look at the kinds of pictures. He didn’t have really good taste in clothes, so she was slightly worried about what he’d pick to wear. Fortunately, the magazine seemed to be pretty high-end as far as that went. She gave an almost inaudible sigh of relief, causing Envy to cast a suspicious glare in her direction for a moment.

“Oh yes. I brought your dress,” he said idly a while later after he was done flipping through the catalog.

He gestured towards the bag, starting to focus more on his breakfast. Alice was done with that already, so she reached into the bag and pulled out the dress. It was… actually quite lovely, in a dark green color that went well with both, her eyes and her hair. It had some copper highlights, which went especially well with her hazel eyes. Despite the highlights, it remained fairly simple, yet elegant. She was glad to see it wasn’t too revealing. She still didn’t know if it’d fit, but it was beautiful. She really doubted Envy had been the one to pick it. He must have actually managed to get Lust to do it. He was looking at her, watching her reaction.

“Wow… thank you. It’s really pretty!” she said.

He shrugged.

“Hey, can I ask you one more thing?” she asked him.

“If it’s going to make you shut up and let me finish eating, sure. If you’re going to so much as open your mouth afterwards, then no.”

“Alright, then. Do you really… hate this situation that much?”

“Huh? What situation?”

“You know… being forced into this whole situation with me.”

“Do you really want my honest answer to that?” he asked. His sharp gaze was fixed on her.

She considered it. Did she want to hear his honest thoughts? On the one hand, he seemed to hate the whole thing so much that it was outright hurtful. She didn’t like him enough to date him, personally, but she didn’t try to make him feel hated. Even if they were both forced into this, she felt awful that she was being hated so much as that. There were two options, really. Either Envy would confirm it and hurt her more, or he’d actually have some other opinion… which might also be hurtful, but maybe she’d get to feel better about herself… just a little bit. If he confirmed that he really hated her that much, though, what difference would it really make? She already felt pretty awful about it. It was a risk she could take.

“Yes,” she replied. “I’d like your honest answer to that.”

He took a deep breath, pausing a few moments before answering, his eyes closed. He seemed to be thinking of how to word what he was going to say. That didn’t really bode too well…

“Then no. I don’t hate it. I don’t like the fact that I’m forced into this. It’s not a path I would have chosen. But in the end… like I told you before… it’s just a social contract, nothing more. You don’t really give me much trouble, anyways, aside from the fact that you’re a pathetic human I need to take care of. And it’s not like you’ll be around forever. It’s kind of like getting an unwanted pet, really. An annoyance, but not really anything that I’d completely hate. There’s positives to it, too. You amuse me sometimes. You’ve even made yourself kind of useful and become a decent pawn for us. And I’ve even gotten to observe you and learn a bit more about your fascinating species. I at least find those good things pleasant enough. That’s my honest answer,” he said quite seriously. He then smiled in a friendly way. “But really! I just love to make you struggle and squirm~! You humans are so easy to break~!”

She wasn’t sure whether to feel better or worse at his words. On the one hand, he’d just said he didn’t hate her. On the other hand, he’d basically implied that the reason he didn’t hate her was because he found it way too amusing to torment her. That wasn’t exactly a great thing, either.

“Anyways, you have to come to my room to get ready. You do need a bath, after all. And a mirror to get your hair all fixed up.”

She nodded and waited for him to finish eating before she followed him back to his room. She didn’t like the idea of being there again, in all honesty. It was true that visits there were pretty frequent since she began working at the military due to the need for baths (though Envy sometimes made her use the military showers instead), but they were usually quick. Today, it seemed she’d have to spend a longer time in there, just like the first time she’d been there. She rubbed her throat lightly, remembering the time he’d pinned her to the wall. She just hoped he wouldn’t get violent again.

“Well, go and get presentable,” he said when he opened the door to his room.

She moved into the room quickly before he had time to shove her in. The room had not changed at all, except for the fact that this day, he didn’t have books carelessly tossed to the side of the couch. If she didn’t know that he supposedly lived here, she wouldn’t really be able to tell it was a normally-occupied room. Even hotels seemed more cozy and full of personality than this. She headed straight for the bathroom, where she proceeded to take a bath. Knowing Envy was not going to be leaving, she decided not to take too long in there, lest he got impatient and threatened to drag her out. She had no doubt that he WOULD, too, if he got impatient enough.

When she finally put the dress on, she took a bit of time to look into the mirror. Yes, the dress was a perfect fit. She hated to admit it, but Envy’d gotten all the details right. She examined her reflection. She still found her face pretty plain, and the stress and pain had taken their toll on her expression, but the dress was beautiful and it did bring out the best of her eye and hair colors. She felt a bit happy about that. After a moment, she left the bathroom, not really wanting to give Envy an excuse to be nasty.

He glanced at her when she came out, then after a moment, turned back to look at her again, looking almost surprised.

“Well! I hadn’t really seen the dress. Lust really does have great taste in clothes!” he exclaimed. “At least I won’t look ridiculous with an awful-looking partner. The dress does make you look almost decent.”

“Thank you,” she said. It had ALMOST been a compliment. For Envy, that was almost like saying she was beautiful.

“I’d better bring Lust here to fix your hair.”

“I can do that on my own.”

“No, no, you need to do something fancier. Someone else needs to do that. And besides, I trust Lust more than you with this.”

He stood up and left the room, returning with Lust shortly afterwards.

“I told you that the dress was fine. I don’t know why you wanted the other flashy one,” Lust said when she looked at Alice.

“Yeah, yeah, fine. That’s why I let you choose it and that’s why you’re here to fix her hair.”

“Start brushing her hair while I think about what to do with it. It’s all thin like yours, it’s not like there’s much we can do with it.”

“I can brush my own hair,” Alice said.

“What? No. Just sit down,” Envy said. “It’s faster this way.”

She did as she was told. It seemed to her that Envy seemed a bit too eager to do this. She found out why when he passed the brush Lust handed him through her hair. He was nowhere near gentle and seemed to be more focused on watching her wince every time he pulled her hair than on actually brushing her hair. That said, he was quite brutally efficient at it, and in no time at all, her hair was perfectly brushed. Her eyes, though, were quite moist from all the tears the pulling had forced from her.

“Hey, Lust, your turn!” he said, handing the brush over to her.

“Well, this is pretty hopeless, but I’ll see what I can do,” she sighed.

Unlike Envy, Lust was actually much less harsh. It took her a while, though, to finally leave Alice’s hair in a way that satisfied her. It was a relatively simple style, but with some braiding, she’d made a sort of circlet for her head. She’d managed to give some volume to the rest of the hair, too, though she’d pulled it into a sort of ponytail too.

“There you go. At the very least, you don’t have a reason to feel totally ashamed taking this girl as your date.”

He was giving Alice a critical look.

“Yeah. I guess that’ll do.”

“Now about you… you’d better have chosen something decent.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Envy said, rolling his eyes.

He very quickly transformed into his Evan disguise. He was wearing a lovely dark suit, with a red tie. It was simple fare, but it went well with the pale brown hair and skin.

“Well, that’s decent enough. You two look almost cute together,” Lust laughed.

“Hey, shut up, old hag!” Envy growled.

“Well, girl, go and look in the mirror,” Lust said, ignoring Envy’s protest.

She did so. What she saw actually surprised her. Since she’d come to Amestris, she’d never really felt pretty at all. She’d usually been either too miserable or just plain drained to really even think of it. But seeing herself in this outfit made her feel just a bit more alive. She might actually get to enjoy this night.

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Later that evening, Alice got into a car with Envy. She wasn’t sure where he’d gotten it, but she didn’t really want to ask either. He’d never driven her anywhere, though, and she just hoped he was a good driver. She was not entirely disappointed. His reflexes were quick, though he tended to drive slightly fast, probably due to his foot being pretty heavy. She knew he was probably more than capable of driving well enough, but she didn’t feel too safe with him behind the wheel.

“How often do you drive a car?” she asked, partly to make conversation, and partly to see if his answer would calm her worries.

“Very, very rarely,” he replied.

“Why? Aren’t cars convenient?” she asked.

“Yeah, they are. But they’re troublesome to keep around and easier to track. Besides, we don’t really need them most of the time.”

“But people are also easy to track.”

“That’s true, but it’s also easier to hide without a car. You can get lost in a crowd, fit into smaller spaces, and in my case, I can just change my shape and escape. It’s just more of a hassle to hide such a big thing as this. If I really need one, I just borrow it from the military.”

She supposed that made sense. It wasn’t like she completely agreed with him, but it wasn’t her business. If they preferred to walk or whatever else they did, fine by her. At least she wasn’t having to walk right now, in this formal attire, to wherever the event took place. She’d seen the address, but it meant nothing to her, since she barely knew the city. Envy seemed to know well enough where they were going, and she guessed that she’d have to trust him on that, even if his driving made her a bit nervous.

Once they made it to where the event was going to be held, she couldn’t help but look utterly surprised. Even Envy gave a low whistle when he saw the place that Herman and Lily had rented for the wedding event. It was a huge building, obviously built for events. Though Alice didn’t know much about the architecture of the city and such things, she could see it was a high-end, probably very expensive place. She could already see some people going into the building. They were dressed in very expensive clothes, most of them, though there were people who were dressed more modestly, too. She guessed most of Lily and Herman’s guests were very rich people. From how flashy and expensive-looking some of those dresses the ladies were wearing were, she could tell that she was going to feel like a fish out of water. She’d never really been rich, nor especially gotten along with rich people. She only hoped they’d all be as nice as Herman was.

“Well… at least they’ll probably have good drinks…” Envy sighed before getting out of the car.

“Why do you say that?” Alice asked him.

“I’m going to need a lot of drinks to make it past tonight while still being sane.”

“What? Why?”

“Nevermind. Let’s just go and get this over with.”

He got out of the car and then went to open the door for her, holding out a hand to help her out. She knew he was only doing that because someone might be watching and he had to act the part of a regular, proper boyfriend, but she appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He held her arm as they both walked to the building, joining the steady line of people entering the place.

She felt quite self-conscious when she was inside. Some of the ladies looked absolutely gorgeous. She could hardly keep from looking all around at the huge variety of colorful and elegant people. She almost felt drab next to some of them. Glancing at Envy, she could see he wasn’t especially impressed, even if he was looking about once in a while. Not knowing exactly where to go or what to do, she just followed Envy’s lead. He led her past the entrance to a room where she supposed the actual wedding would take place. There were already quite a few people there, apparently crowding around a couple. Alice immediately recognized Herman… and that young lady dressed in white next to him… that had to be Lily. She was tall, though not quite as tall as Herman, and she had long, thick black hair. She was wearing the loveliest wedding dress, an off-white color that went well with the sheer darkness of her hair. She was smiling kindly at the couple who was currently saying hello to her. Alice felt Envy’s hand grip hers a lot more tightly. She tried hard not to make any movement that’d give that away, but he was starting to hurt her with the strength of his grip.

“Let’s go and say hi,” she said, subtly pulling him forward.

Seemingly realizing that he was about to start crushing her hand, he loosened his grip. He then allowed her to lead him towards the happy couple. There were several people in line to greet Herman and Lily, but it wasn’t long before she was standing right in front of them.

“Alice!” Herman called out. “And this must be Evan! I’m so glad you two could make it. This is Lily! I don’t think you’d met her before, had you?”

“Hello, Herman! And congratulations,” Alice said, turning to Lily. “To both of you. Pleased to meet you, Lily. Herman has spoken nothing but great things about you.”

“Oh, my! Pleased to meet you too, dear! You and Evan, of course. I’m really happy I got to meet you both!”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Envy said cordially.

Of course, there were many other people also waiting to greet the couple, so they couldn’t really converse much more than that. Excusing themselves, Envy and Alice went to find seats. She knew Envy was more than a little glad to finally see Lily with his own eyes, but she still could notice his pupils not quite staying in the proper, round shape they should be having. He must be really annoyed by having to be in an event like this. She was a bit worried about his earlier comment of needing to drink a lot to stay sane this night. She didn’t know how a drunk Homunculus would act, but she doubted it’d include being careful with the disguise and acting in a way that kept his cover. Still, well, that was entirely on him. If he wanted to mess up the plans by being drunk, that wasn’t really her problem. Or maybe he’d just not been serious. She hoped that was the case.

In the meantime, she was busy looking at the people who were already there and the ones that were just arriving. She recognized several of them, though of course not all. A lot of these must be family members, perhaps. Maybe Vincent would be here too. That was the person she wanted to see the most. She couldn’t see him, though.

“Anyone you expecting to see?” Envy asked her. There was a fair amount of noise and he had to talk into her ear for her to properly hear him.

“Eh? No! Not really,” she replied. She wished he were paying less attention to her and more to the people entering.

“Oh, great. It’s about that guy again, isn’t it?” he asked.

She was surprised at how calm his face looked despite his tone. Anyone looking at him would definitely think he was having the most natural and nice conversation. She kind of hated him for it. How could he tell what she was thinking, anyways?

“How did you…?” she began, but quickly amended her question. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re like an open book to me,” he replied with a placid smile. “I’ve known and observed you for years. You’ve told me so much about the way you think and about the things that make you happy or sad. I’ve seen you express pretty much all sorts of emotions, and I’ve also learned what kinds of things make you feel one way or the other. I know the way you act and speak when you want to hide something from me. There’s no reason for you to hide the fact that you’re looking for someone. You do have several people that consider you a friend that you might want to say hello to, or you might wonder if they’re here as well, and you would be okay with me asking about that. The only person you’d want to hide from me… is him.”

He seemed so placid saying that. She felt horrified. She knew that he was good at reading her, but she had figured that he was just generally good at it. She hadn’t really quite realized how much he actually studied her. She’d thought that he’d mostly stared at her just to unnerve her, but she should have known that he couldn’t be as good as he was finding her vulnerabilities and the like by just using general strategies. She had never really thought about how much effort he was putting into tormenting her. The thought was nothing short of disturbing.

“Smile, dear!” he grinned, seeing her face going more pale and serious.

She did her best to smile again, even if she was creeped out. She was more creeped out by the fact that Envy thought that was a really great time to put an arm around her and make her lean on his shoulder, probably to keep her from talking any more for now. As uncomfortable as she was, she had to hand it to him. Despite his tremendous strength, he could be quite gentle, or at least very careful. Maybe if he were not so dead-set in being creepy and unpleasant, he could be someone whose company and even affection would be very enjoyable.

Despite wanting to see if Vincent would come, she decided to stop trying to look for him, lest Envy catch her again. He might not do anything to her during this evening, but he was pretty good at keeping grudges and he would definitely do something nasty to her later. He was likely to be nastier, too, if he acted on a grudge than if he just reacted immediately.

The wedding ceremony went well. It was short, but lovely. Alice was delighted at the sweet way in which Herman and Lily took their vows. It was so adorable, that she almost wished she could sometime be in that place, being the one taking the vows with a loving, handsome man. That fantasy ended quickly when she felt the ring in her hand. It wasn’t as though Envy was exactly ugly in any of the forms he’d taken. He was relatively cute, all things considered. Even his normal form had a certain charm to it despite the dreadful fashion sense, the somewhat unkempt hair and his being so thin that you could count his ribs. But he was not a loving kind of person. She figured that if he ever had to take vows, he’d probably sound like he was reading an essay.

After the ceremony, everyone stood up and began heading out. That couldn’t be all, could it? She knew that weddings back home wouldn’t be over yet, but she didn’t really know how things were done in Amestris. Surely people would hardly dress up so much just for an event that lasted less than an hour. She turned to look at Envy, sure that his expression would tell her all she needed to know. He didn’t seem to be happy at all. This couldn’t be over. He stood up, too and led her out of the room. Once they were out, she could see that everyone was heading to another, much larger event room. Apparently, wedding parties were also a thing in Amestris. Well, this was likely going to be pretty pleasant. The room was huge, with a large area for dancing and lots of lovely tables. The assigned places were marked by little signs with names, and it didn’t take them long to find their own. They weren’t very close to Lily and Herman’s table, instead being relatively towards a corner of the room but at least Envy didn’t seem to mind that much. He was still unhappy, but in the end, she didn’t really mind what he thought about this. She was pretty happy. It was a party, and she had not been to one of these for a long while by now. There was going to be music and dancing and likely also good food. And she really hoped Envy would just let her dance with anyone else. She didn’t feel especially inclined to dance with him, but she would definitely enjoy dancing… especially with someone like Vincent. That would be great! She really doubted Envy would allow that, but she could always hope.

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The other people who were seated at that table were people Alice knew from the military. They were the same people she often met with at lunch time. Several of the girls were delighted to finally meet Evan. A couple of them, though, were so, well, girly, about it that Alice honestly worried that Envy’s temper might be triggered. They were all over him, asking him all sorts of questions about him and how he’d met Alice and how he’d fallen in love with her and so on. Envy managed to answer them all, even though Alice was sure he was nowhere near happy about this. There were cups of champagne on the table, and he’d already downed his like it was water, mostly while the girls were distracted when he’d deflected a question and managed to have Alice do the speaking for a bit. She was starting to understand why he’d mentioned he would need to drink a lot to stay sane. Alice was kind of impressed with his restraint, though, and almost amused at the absurdly mushy stuff he’d come up with as an answer to several of those questions. If any of it had been at all sincere, she might even have been genuinely flattered. She knew better, though, and just hoped that the food would arrive soon so that the conversation would at least slow down. She knew Envy was working up a bad temper, even if he was restraining himself very well. She did not really want to be in the receiving end of it, as she figured might be the case later when they were home.

The food was, much to the relief of both, Envy and Alice, brought relatively quickly. With the gossipy girls rather busy eating, there were no more awkward questions with sappy answers. The food itself was great, too. Herman and Lily, or whoever had actually chosen it had great taste. She wasn’t entirely sure what it all was, but there was a delicious, creamy soup, and some tasty salad, and then some meat, served with a delightful sauce. And there was wine too. Alice barely touched hers, but Envy had finished several cups already. Dessert was a kind of fruity sherbet.

Not too long later, the music started, and so did the dancing. The other couples at the table quickly got up. One of the girls asked Alice if she was going to dance, to which she replied that maybe she would later. They didn’t insist. Left alone with Envy for the time being, she sighed, half in relief and half in resignation. Envy asked a waiter to refill both his and Alice’s wine cup.

“I don’t really want to drink any more,” she said after the waiter left.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I do, though,” Envy replied.

He took her cup, drank its contents and handed it back to her. She was honestly surprised. There should be a slight slur to his words now, she felt. And yet he seemed perfectly sober. She looked into his eyes and his pupils still seemed perfectly round. Maybe it was just a Homunculus thing. She guessed she’d leave him to that. What she wanted to do was dance now. With a bit of support, she could do without the cane. She didn’t think Envy would dance, though, and really, she preferred to dance with pretty much anyone else. She supposed there’d be no real harm in asking him about that, though. At least… no immediate harm.

“I would really like to dance,” she said, deciding to just state it simply.

“I don’t dance,” Envy replied.

She wasn’t surprised. His disdain for human things was so deep, it was probably no surprise that it included entertainment such as dancing. Young as he looked, sometimes he acted like a bitter old man, which she supposed he kind of was. Still, she was not going to give up so easily. If she did, it’d mean a whole lot of sitting here, watching Envy drink himself stupid or something. She wasn’t going to have this.

“Well, I could go dance with someone else,” she said.

“What? No!”

“Why not? You just said you don’t dance and I’d really like to go and dance a while.”

“Because it won’t do, and you know why. If you’re going to dance with anyone, it has to be me, but since I don’t dance, then too bad.”

“Come on! It’s the first wedding I ever go to, how can I not be allowed to enjoy it fully?”

Envy’s lips twitched as he almost burst out laughing. Desperately trying to avoid a fit of laughter, he took another deep drink from his cup of wine, apparently managing to compose himself.

“What a cute question!” he said with a smile. “But come now, don’t make a scene here.”

“I do want to dance,” she insisted. She only had the courage to stand up to him because they were out in public, but even so, she knew she couldn’t stand up against him for long.

“If you want to, sure. I’ll dance with you. But remember that I can crush your lovely little toes if I accidentally step on them. And of course, once we get home... “ He was still smiling serenely, though his voice was pretty sharp. He must have been quite glad that, due to the music, there was no chance that someone else would overhear his words.

She sighed and backed down. A dance was not worth whatever he’d have in store for her afterwards. She began looking around, to see if there was anyone interesting. She also wondered if Vincent was already dancing with someone. He’d be a great dancing partner, definitely. She didn’t see him in the dancing area. Maybe he hadn’t come? Someone was approaching the table, though. She turned to see who it was and her heart almost skipped a beat. It was Vincent. Part of her was somewhat troubled about this, but for the most part, she was very happy to see him. She figured Envy was going to be absolutely furious about it… but at least there was nothing he could do here.

“Hey Alice!” Vincent called.

“Vincent, hi!” she called back.

“Can I sit here for a while?”

“Go ahead!”

He did so. Alice hoped Envy would just keep his glares to himself. She was not looking at him directly, but since Vincent was looking quite calm, she supposed Envy was keeping up the friendly appearances.

“So… he’s your boyfriend?” Vincent asked her.

“He’s my fiancé, actually,” Alice said. “His name is Evan.” She turned to Envy. “Evan, this is Vincent, a friend from work.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Envy said, holding out a hand to him.

Vincent shook Envy’s hand with a smile. He still seemed perfectly calm. Alice felt a tad worried.

“So why aren’t the both of you dancing yet?” Vincent asked.

“We were just having a nice conversation,” Envy replied.

“May I have this dance?” Vincent asked Alice.

“Actually, I was just about to dance with her,” Envy said before Alice could reply.

“Oh. Well… yeah, of course,” Vincent said, seeming a bit disappointed.

Envy stood up and held a hand to Alice. She took it, temporarily leaving the cane behind, as she would be unable to use it while dancing. She would get support from Envy anyways, as he would likely not let her fall in front of everyone. The music, at least, was slow, so she wasn’t likely to overexert herself and fall. Envy turned out to be a better dancer than she thought he’d be with his adamant refusal to dance. The music that was playing was a waltz, and she was slightly afraid to dance that with him, since it’d mean she’d have to be close to him and she really didn’t want him stepping on her toes. She wasn’t entirely sure what to think, feeling his hand at her waist, and her own hand on his. She was no longer repulsed by him, but it was still almost frightening to have him so near. And yet, the danger made it almost… exhilarating. She was surprised at how she was actually enjoying this. He did not once step on her toes and deftly dodged a few clumsier steps of hers that almost made her step on his. It was only until she began to tire that she motioned for them to return to the table. He very quickly complied with that. Vincent was no longer at the table. Envy quickly had his and Alice’s cups of wine refilled, only to drink them both again. After some rest, he acquiesced to dancing again, much to Alice’s surprise. She wondered if he had enjoyed it or if he was just making sure she didn’t try to go with anyone else. After a while of that, though, she was finally too tired to keep dancing and they both stayed at the table again. Vincent came by to talk to them both once or twice, too. Envy didn’t seem to be hostile about it at all. Alice wondered if the alcohol was starting to affect him.

Eventually, it was time to leave. A few people had already begun to go, too. Alice felt a bit sad as Envy led her out of the building, but she had to admit she was exhausted. She hated leaving behind some of the best time she’d had in Amestris, though. It had almost, just almost, been like something out of a fairy tale, or so she felt. And now she was heading back to the car, and that would lead her to Central Headquarters… and from there it’d be back to that dreary room she had learned to see as home.

“So that Vincent guy… that’s the guy you like, isn’t it?” Envy asked Alice once they were both in the car.

“Yes…”

“Well, stay away from him.”

“I know…”

He turned towards her.

“Well, how did you like this night?”

She almost choked with Envy’s breath. She had never smelled so much alcohol in someone’s breath. How was he still standing?! She felt sure he’d breathe fire if he breathed into a match.

“Envy… please… turn the other way. Your breath… it stinks,” she said between coughs. “How much DID you drink?!”

“Nowhere near enough,” Envy grumbled, but turned away.

“Should you even be driving like this?!”

“I’m not drunk. I just said I had nowhere near enough alcohol.”

She just hoped he wouldn’t crash on the way back. But to her surprise, he seemed sober enough to drive. It wasn’t long before they were back in the tunnels beneath Central. Alice was so exhausted that she found it hard to keep moving. Envy had to push her once in a while to keep her moving, though even he seemed tired. Eventually, since she’d left her clothes and everything in Envy’s room, they made their way there.

“Hurry up and get back to normal clothing,” he said, changing his own shape back to his usual form.

He sat on the couch as Alice went inside the bathroom in order to change back into her ordinary clothing. When she came back out, she was quite surprised to find that Envy had fallen asleep on the couch. He must have been really tired, especially with all the drinking he’d done. Even if it hadn’t made him drunk, it was pretty obvious that it had made him sleepy. He looked almost harmless, breathing peacefully, his eyes closed, lying in an awkward angle as if he’d just nodded off and then fallen over a bit to the side. She sighed. Now what? She couldn’t head back to her room because the chimeras would kill her. She didn’t want to wake Envy up, either. He might get really angry. She was exhausted, though. There was no choice. She would have to sleep here. Since the couch was taken and she wasn’t going to be sleeping on the floor or bathtub or the other ridiculous places he’d suggested the last time she’d slept here, she just headed for the huge bed. She hoped he wouldn’t really mind. She’d just stay on a corner, though, just in case. As she got on the bed, she thought about how it seemed so very soft when Envy sank into the mattress, but it really wasn’t. Much like the couch, it was actually pretty solid. It also smelled faintly of him. She didn’t really like that, but in the end, she was so tired, that after just a few minutes, she was deeply asleep.

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Envy woke up somewhat later, his body reminding him that yes, it had human needs, and yes, fulfilling some of them (like drinking!) led to other human needs… which were currently making it impossible for him to continue sleeping. After taking care of that, he rubbed the back of his head. How had he fallen asleep on the couch, anyways? And where had that girl gone? She wasn’t on the floor, and thankfully she wasn’t in the bathtub either. He glanced over to the bed. Well… there she was. Pretty daring of her to just pick that spot, really, but he didn’t much care. Now that he was awake, though, he might as well go and report to Father. He’d meant to do that after taking the girl back to her room, but, well, he’d fallen asleep instead. Maybe drinking so much wasn’t the best idea he’d had. It was true that he was far too massive to get drunk from weak alcohol, but since it was also true that he was not in the habit of drinking, it did make him tired. Still, it was best to just get up and go to Father’s room. Father didn’t really seem to indulge in things like sleeping anywhere near as often as the rest of the Homunculi.

His body felt heavier than usual as he walked out of the room, his movements slow, careful and silent. He guessed it was the exhaustion making him feel that way. Well, nothing that a few extra hours of sleep couldn’t fix. He was just glad the night’s event was over. The only other wedding he’d been to was Wrath’s. He’d quite hated it too, but at least it’d been his brother’s event, rather than that of some random human he didn’t really care about but had to look into anyways. And he hadn’t been forced to attend Wrath’s wedding with some brat as his partner. Though he wished he could have completely avoided the whole night, or at least gotten drunk enough not to care, well, what was done was done. He had obtained some necessary information, and that was the only thing that really mattered.

Everything was silent in the tunnels, aside from the rhythmic heartbeat-like sound caused by Father’s Philosopher’s Stone that flowed throughout Amestris. Lust and Gluttony were asleep, most likely. A few curious chimeras made shuffling sounds once in a while, but they didn’t approach. Animals hated Homunculi, and though the chimeras recognized them as their masters, they didn’t exactly approach them much anyways. Despite how huge the tunnels were, they were pretty empty. It was almost lonely. As he reached Father’s room and opened the door, the sound of heavy creaking echoed through the tunnels, breaking the silence. Somehow, the noise made the place sound even emptier.

Father, sitting in his throne-like chair, turned to look at Envy.

“You’re back, my child. Did you learn anything useful at the wedding?”

“I met Lily in person. There was really no chance to talk to her, but I observed her during the night. I think I learned a fair deal about her. She seems nice enough, but there’s something off about the way she acts. With her husband, she’s pretty sincere, I think, but there’s just something not right about the way she acts with everyone else. Maybe it’s how suspicious she is of everyone, but I have a feeling there’s more to it.”

“And you can’t tell what it is?”

“Not yet. I didn’t get to observe her enough for that. Seems like it could mean trouble, though.”

“Trouble? Elaborate.”

“Well… we’re going to have this Alice girl befriend this woman, right?”

“Yes.”

“I think it could be dangerous. For the girl, I mean.”

“So what? That’s what pawns are for. Why would you care about her?”

“I don’t care about her! I wouldn’t want to waste a good pawn, though, and it would be quite a setback if something happens to her before we’re done with this.”

“Then make sure it doesn’t happen. I’m leaving this whole operation to you.”

“Of course, Father,” Envy said with a smile.

“You look tired, my child. Go get rest. You don’t want to waste your Philosopher’s Stone.”

Envy nodded and left Father’s room. He was happy that Father was trusting him with this mission. Up to now, he’d mostly followed orders. Now that he was in charge, though, he could… really just do anything. Technically, this meant that, if he chose to, he could stop that charade with Alice. He had to grudgingly admit, though, that it was working, and very well at that. Might as well keep it up. There was nothing to lose and everything to gain from it, after all.

On the other hand… he felt really unhappy. Okay, so, yeah, Father was trusting him with this mission. That was great. But… he hadn’t even asked how Envy was feeling, or how things had gone in the event. He’d only asked about his mission. Father had never either asked nor cared about how Envy felt about anything. He didn’t much mind the contract with Alice now, but back when he had first been forced into it, he had hated it. He had made it abundantly clear, too. Father hadn’t cared, though. Neither had Lust. Afterwards, he had barely come to terms with that when Father had forced him to propose to the girl. He was resigned now but it had been horrible. He almost wished to just have a field day with the whole relationship thing and parade it all over the place and treat the girl in the most sickeningly sweet ways he could think of to see if he could make them cringe. But he knew they wouldn’t care. They never did.

Even the human brat seemed to care more about his feelings. It was almost offensive. The only reason he didn’t absolutely hate that concern was because, in the end, she wasn’t really being compassionate or, worse still, pitying him. At least… as far as he could tell, she didn’t pity him. He didn’t need pity, much less from a human. Some amount of caring, though… he really could use that. He really hated the fact that he was bothered about this, but he couldn’t really help it. All he could do was pretend it didn’t bother him. And, of course, take out his anger on the indirect cause of the internal pain he felt. No one really understood why he hated humans so much, but in the end, that was probably for the best. They’d think him weak, surely, if they knew how much he really just wanted some kind of recognition, some kind of support.

Entering his room again, he headed straight for bed. He needed a lot of rest, definitely. The brat was still there. Oh well. It was his room anyways. Maybe he should just carry her to the couch, or back to her own room. Then again, if she woke up, it might be bothersome. And it’d take time. He wondered how deeply she slept. He gave her a light tap on the forehead. She didn’t even stir. That was good. If she didn’t wake, she wouldn’t bother him. Taking a somewhat closer look, though… there were tears on her face. She was crying? While asleep? He sighed. What a wimp. The way he felt right now, though, he almost pitied her. Almost. He might as well just leave her be for now. He brushed aside a lock of her hair that was on her face. Yes, sure enough, those were tears in her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, he’d just let her rest in peace, and maybe even bring her something nice with breakfast later. Not that he was trying to be nice! He just needed to show her a token kindness. Yes, that was it. Walking to the other side of the bed, he just went to sleep. Token kindness. Definitely not any sort of gratitude for showing him small bits of kindness.


	20. Unbreakable Bonds

## Chapter 20 - Unbreakable Bonds

When Alice woke up the next day, Envy was still sleeping. Seeing him look so peaceful as he slept was almost strange, and seeing him so relatively close was even weirder. She had honestly not expected him to wake up after he had fallen asleep on the couch, much less actually move to the bed. She really didn’t want to wake him and barely dared to move. She waited for a long while, but he didn’t seem to be waking anytime soon. She wondered if it had anything to do with his rather excessive drinking from the night before. Even if he was still sober at the end of that, he was bound to feel the effects. She tried to amuse herself for a while by thinking about the previous night’s events. She’d had a pretty good time all things considered, even if she’d ended up having to dance with Envy rather than Vincent. She’d at least seen Vincent, and, well, he apparently liked her enough to want to ask her to dance with him. That was a good sign, really, that maybe she could keep on being friends with him… maybe really get to befriend him, unlike Herman. Who cared what Envy had to say about that? She was still going to be devoted to the mission, so it wasn’t like he had to worry about that. Everything would be fine. But she could seriously use a real friend for a change.

It was quite a while before Envy began to stir. He stretched his hands to the side with a huge yawn. He then let them fall. One of his rather heavy hands smacked Alice on the head.

“Ow!” she yelped.

“Oops!” Envy exclaimed, quickly pulling his hand back. “Well, really, it’s your fault for sleeping here.”

“I couldn’t get back to my own room alone, and you fell asleep on the couch.”

“You didn’t wake me up, either.”

“Well, no. I thought you’d be angry if I did.”

He sat up with a grin.

“Alright, I’ll give you that one. I probably would have knocked you into a wall~!”

She really wished he would not look that happy whenever he said things like that.

“I suppose I should head back soon?”

“Yeah, about that… I thought we should celebrate! Go out to have breakfast somewhere fancy! Well, okay, it’s probably lunch time by now, but then we should have a fancy lunch!”

She gave him a blank,confused stare.

“Why?” she asked cautiously.

“Well, last night was a success! I’d like to celebrate. And of course, as a token gesture of kindness, as per the contract, I can just take you.”

“Is… there a catch…?” she asked.

“Not this time. I told you that I’m not a monster. I’m just being nice!” Envy grinned. He looked at Alice’s disbelieving face. “Alright, fine, I want to go eat somewhere fancy and since it’s probably late I don’t want to waste time having to give you something to eat. Happy?”

That made more sense, but she wasn’t entirely sure whether she believed him. But at least that gave a more plausible explanation for his being nice. Since when was he just nice anyways?!

“Um… alright,” she replied.

“Well, hurry up, then. Your hair will look half decent with some brushing, and the clothes you’re wearing will work. They’re a bit casual, but it won’t matter much.”

She nodded as she watched Envy turn back into his Evan disguise. He then waited for her to quickly brush her hair and led her outside. Alice was surprised at how thoughtful he seemed this day. It was like it was a completely different Envy, though she was sure it wouldn’t last. It wasn’t like people could really change so drastically, much less in one night. Likely, he just had too much on his mind to bother with being cruel. Soon as he sorted it out, he’d be back to his normal self. She supposed that, in the meantime, she should better just accept things as they were and enjoy the moments of peace he was going to give her. If he were more like this all the time instead of the sadistic jailer, she might like him so much more. As it was, she had gotten to sort of like him… even though it was mostly only in his better moods. His mood right now mostly made her curious. Was he… sad? Why would he be thoughtful and with apparently no will or desire to needle her about something? He couldn’t be angry… when he was angry, he was usually far more vicious, and when he wasn’t especially nasty, he usually just ignored her entirely. This was different and she had never quite seen it before. She was debating whether or not to ask him about it. After all, he never liked that kind of attention much. She really was curious, though. She did not, however, gather the courage to ask him about it during their whole trip to a relatively fancy restaurant. It was a nice place, but not so terribly fancy that she’d look out of place in her casual clothing. Envy wasn’t wearing anything fancy either: just a white shirt and black pants.

“Can I ask for anything I want?” she asked him once they had been given the menu.

“Yeah, whatever,” Envy replied.

Long ago, she would have asked for whatever was most expensive, whether she liked it or not, just as an act of defiance. This time, however, though she remembered having done that before, she just didn’t feel like doing any such thing. Those ideas had been pretty foolish, she felt. Defiance was something that had too steep a price to bother with. Things weren’t so bad as she’d thought anyway.

“You seem to be pretty thoughtful about something,” she said after a while, finally having had the courage to speak up.

“If you keep sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, I’m going to tear it off,” Envy replied quietly enough so that only Alice would hear.

Envy needed her to be unharmed for her job, lest people ask awkward questions, or get suspicious. She knew from experience, though, that he could still injure her. He’d just get the doctor to heal her later, before she had to go out again. This translated to several hours of severe pain. She was not going to take the Homunculus’s threat lightly. There was little doubt he’d act upon it.

“I’m just trying to be nice.” Alice replied, also quietly.

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t really know what you expect to gain from it, though.”

“Nothing. It’s just more natural for me to be nice to people.”

“Oh, really? Is that why you enjoy using people like those you call friends at work?”

“You know that’s only because I have to. I also treat them kindly either way.”

“Well, if you want to call false kindness that, who am I to correct it? I do the same thing all the time. The difference between you and me is that I’m at least honest about it. Sure, I have to pretend to be nice to people when I need to get something from them, but I don’t go and call it actual kindness. I don’t make a habit of trying to delude myself as to what I actually am doing.”

“I’m not really like you, though,” Alice said, trying to keep her face composed and her voice silent, even though she really wanted to just slap Envy across the face.

“You weren’t, back when you first arrived. Now, though? I’d have to say you’ve adopted several of my ways. You’ll never be anywhere as great as I am, but I find it kind of cute,” he said with a big smile.

“I don’t believe you. So tell me. How am I like you?”

“You used to be pretty honest… and you still are in a way, but you’ve also learned to act. You are taking advantage of and using an innocent man for selfish purposes. And you’re acting so friendly towards him, too, even though what you’re doing is pretty terrible! You’re just like me, acting all friendly when you’re being anything but. And you’ve gotten pretty good at it, too. You’ve actually surprised me!” Envy replied with a friendly smile.

Alice listened to Envy’s words with some shock, even though she managed to keep herself composed and vaguely smiling. She hated how right he was. She had not been the type of person to use others, let alone by feigning friendliness, much less to the point where she could fool someone about something as important as love was to Herman and Lily. She disagreed with his view that she was much like him, though. Those things he’d mentioned were things she’d done because she had no real choice about it, unlike him, who seemed to just enjoy it.

“I’m not sadistic, like you are, though,” she said. “I don’t enjoy doing these things.”

“I never said you were perfect!” Envy said with a huge smile. “But really, what does it matter whether or not you enjoy them? You still do them just fine. I think that if you really couldn’t stand what you’re doing, you wouldn’t care about the consequences so much. You’d stand by what you believe in and not help us at all, even if meant something terrible for you. But you’re helping us, so it’s not like you’re really horrified at what you’re doing. Maybe a part of you even enjoys it. Maybe it’s the thrill of the fact that your life… or at the very least any semblance to a quality of life that you may have… is in the balance. But you can’t really, honestly tell me that you don’t enjoy a job well done, even for a minute. I’ve seen you being all pleased with yourself when you do something useful.”

She guessed he had a point. She really hated to admit it, but he did. She did find what she was doing pretty awful… but apparently not horrible enough. She liked to think that whatever the Homunculi had planned for Herman and Lily was going to be relatively benign, but she really couldn’t be sure. And while she never would have done what she was doing if she hadn’t been pretty much forced into it, he was right. For a moment, when she actually managed to do something useful, she felt pleased. It never lasted because she tended to feel really rotten afterwards, but for a moment she did enjoy it. The fact that Envy might be rubbing off on her was terrifying. She didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t accept it. But what if it was true? Fortunately for her, the arrival of the server to take their order took her mind off that rather nasty train of thought. She was really relieved. She felt sure that if she thought about this too deeply, she would break down. Best to think about what to eat. That was safer. What she ate didn’t make her a better or worse person. Since it was no longer time for breakfast, she asked for a rather expensive seafood platter, not due to the price, but rather because it was something that she rarely ate since she got to Amestris. It was close enough to comfort food.

“I’ll have the same as her,” Envy said.

“Why did you take the same?” she asked after the server left.

“I couldn’t decide what to have, aside from the fact I want it to be something fancier than usual. That looks luxurious enough, so I might as well have it,” he shrugged.

She didn’t regret the choice. When the meal came, it was every bit as luxurious as she’d thought it be. It was a mix of rather expensive seafood, and it was deliciously prepared. She looked up towards Envy. He never seemed to especially enjoy eating, but he seemed pleased enough with the fancy lunch. Despite that, he still seemed thoughtful. Something was seriously bothering him. She wished he would tell her, not just because she was curious, but because she really wanted to know how badly things could turn out for her. She decided to try one more time.

“When things are obviously not going well for you… why don’t you ever tell me anything about it, even if I ask?”

“Why should I?”

“Because you agreed to treat me differently, not like a prisoner. I’m going crazy worrying about no one but myself. I can’t worry about most of the other people I know since I’m helping you, and the one person I could get along with that isn’t part of that whole thing and at the same time isn’t all over gossip about my love life  you told me to keep away from. You leave me with no choices here.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s true. I did agree to that. But at the same time, these are all things you wouldn’t be able to really understand, you know. It’s not like you really know about my life enough to really do anything more than pity me for a bad day or whatever else. It’s not like that is useful, you know. It’s just going to bother me.”

“I don’t want to pity you. I just want to think about someone else’s problems. I mean, it’s obvious you’ve got problems. I’ve seen you upset. I don’t know, maybe I could help. Maybe I could offer some comfort, even.”

“You really know how to make conversations awkward…” Envy said. “Alright, then,” he continued, pausing for a moment, seemingly considering what to say. “I am worried that I may not live up to my Father’s expectations. That’s all.”

Alice was rather surprised. It seemed like such a human worry, though at the same time she would expect it more from a child, rather than from someone who was nearly two centuries old. Then again, their whole lives seemed to revolve around their father, so it was hardly a wonder that their problems would also revolve around him.

“You father doesn’t seem like the type that would keep it quiet if he disapproved of you,” Alice said. “He seems pretty direct about everything.”

“That’s true,” Envy said. “He is direct. But you don’t really understand. Failure isn’t an option. See? Telling you anything is useless.”

She supposed she could ask no more of him aside from a token effort. It was already an improvement. Maybe he could change. Maybe he could be more human than he seemed. After that, though, he refused to speak any more of that topic. She did manage to engage him in conversation about the fashion tendencies they had seen the night before. He didn’t seem particularly enthusiastic about the topic, but he was knowledgeable enough about it despite his own dreadful sense of fashion. He had also lived long enough to see a number of other styles, which gave him an interesting enough perspective. It was, all things considered, quite a pleasant time.

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Envy couldn’t help but be relieved that evening that he had managed to get Alice off his case in such a way that her curiosity was satisfied without him actually revealing much about his actual feelings. He was, quite honestly, happy that he had succeeded in isolating the girl well enough that he seemed to be the center of her world, even if she had not chosen it. It was, however, uncomfortable when she started asking questions about him. It was only natural that she would, of course, since he had become the centerpiece of her life. But it did come at somewhat of a cost. He had to give in order to take. He had to be nice sometimes, he had to share a bit about himself, he had to keep her healthy, he had to give of his time and effort to carefully shape her feelings and thoughts and he had to actually give her a few privileges and luxuries. In return, he got her obedience, her dedication to her mission, the results on her psyche that he had been working towards, a whole lot of amusement and… apparently also some of her feelings. He was still a bit surprised about that one. He had already known such a thing would happen, but he had not really though about what that really would mean or how that would actually manifest itself. Sometimes he wondered if it would have been better to just have treated the girl as he would have any normal prisoner. Sure, he would never have gotten as much out of her as he had, but in the end, that would have meant he wouldn’t have had to give anything himself. It would also not have stirred up all those feelings he’d buried so deep inside himself. At least, that’s what he wanted to be able to say, but those feelings had always been eating away at his very soul, as much as he hated to admit it. From the moment of his creation, he’d felt it: the deep, burning desire for something he would never have, and the hatred towards those who had it. And even now that he could almost have been given it (or at least something akin to it), he found he could barely accept it. He’d forced it and manipulated it into being. It was not what he wanted. No. What he wanted was what she was giving to that pathetic worm of a man. What was his name? Vincent, yes. That sappy-faced brat! He could ruin everything! Envy hated him more than he’d ever hated any other human he’d yet seen. There wasn’t anything much he could do about it, though. It was a relatively small thing, but he was related to Herman. As much as he wished to get rid of the smug little worm, if he did so, things could be ruined. And there was no way Father would stand for that, no. Maybe after everything was over, he could get rid of him. Then again… after the Promised Day, it wouldn’t really matter. In fact, that fate was probably more fitting for that worm. Really, there was no need to do anything about him. It was a problem that would take care of itself.

He did have more pressing matters to attend to, anyway. He had to start scouting Lily and Herman’s place. They’d already uncovered some information on her. He had her original address, and everything related to her education and the like. How she’d managed to meet and marry a rich man like Herman he had no idea. She wasn’t from a rich family. She really was a simple country girl. Her father, however, had not been such a simple man. By the first name of Samuel, the man had once been a wealthy alchemy professor. They hadn’t really uncovered what had happened to his wealth, but he’d apparently given it up and then moved to the countryside with his wife and daughter. His wife had then passed away. It was little wonder that Lily was good at alchemy. After her mother’s death, it was quite likely that her father had taught her alchemy. They’d always wondered where she would have picked up such skill from, but it was fairly obvious now. It had taken them a fair amount of time to get that information, but they knew now where her skills had come from. Her father had passed away too, during the war. It was very likely that Lily was continuing her father’s research.

They did not know exactly what this research was, but it was apparently something big enough to have the rumors getting all the way to Central. People had spoken of something absolutely amazing that would revolutionize alchemy and make alchemists able to perform things that were considered impossible. Some of the things they’d heard almost made it sound like Lily was doing research into the Philosopher’s Stone! But it didn’t make sense at all. She was a love freak. She wouldn’t make a stone, not the normal way. Far as they knew, there was no other way to make it. But if she found some alternate way to make something that, even if it wasn’t the Stone, amplified alchemy or was otherwise like it, well, it would be more than a little problematic. The research needed to be destroyed, or at the least, set back years so that she would not complete it in time for the Promised Day. The whole thing didn’t matter after that.

With this in mind, he set out to scout the area. Maybe he’d hear something, or even smell something or otherwise find out something that could help them in this. He took the shape of an average man in order to begin his trip to the mansion. He wouldn’t be able to approach it like that, but he knew he would attract no attention for most of the way. He was right. Everyone was going about their own business and no one paid attention to a plain-looking man that seemed to be dressed for some kind of office job. He made sure to adjust his stride and turn his gaze slightly downwards, the very picture of the average worker struggling slightly through daily life. He didn’t attract any attention, of course. No one really cared about the average man. Some people felt pity for those that were in trouble, and many were attracted to the prosperous, but everything else in-between was just a commonplace fact of life. Humans never really cared about the commonplace. As he closed in on the area, he began to look for a place where he could find some kind of privacy. Herman lived in a very exclusive kind of place. Few people seemed to come this way. Envy was glad about that, since it meant that it would be easy to find a spot to shapeshift into something that would attract less attention than a person. Looking around and seeing there was no one to see him, he quickly changed his shape. No one asked dogs questions, and few people seemed to bother trying to scare off large dogs. A large black mutt seemed to him to be the best disguise he could have just now.

It was no problem at all to approach the mansion. A few people did see him, but, as he figured, no one really thought much of dogs. And they weren’t going to try to scare off a dog of his size. He was not gigantic, but still fairly large for a mutt. He even managed to get inside the grounds uncontested. Maybe a cat would have been a better option for this kind of job, but really, cats were not built for holding too much weight. Jumping all over the place would likely be more problematic. A dog worked just fine. And the extra good hearing was actually pretty useful. He could already hear voices inside the mansion. And yes, they were just the voices he wanted to hear. He could only barely hear them and couldn’t understand everything they said, but that would work.

“... but you are spending too much time in this,” he heard Herman say.

“... almost… and then… completed,” he heard Lily’s voice say. Her voice was a bit more quiet than Herman’s and it was harder to understand.

Well, this was the spot to stay at. What did dogs do when just resting? Probably lick their paws. Wait, that was cats. Unsure of what exactly to do, Envy just pretended to sleep.

“... you still missing?”

“.. secret… she can… finished.”

“No! Absolutely not! You can’t use…”

“...her ... free will...”

Who were they talking about? He twitched his ear. Was she really talking about making use of… someone? Or something someone could give them? Whatever it was, it seemed that they were missing… something… of key importance. If only the stupid place weren’t so big that he could barely make out the words!

“But if… what then?”

“... elsewhere. I will… all my research… finally so close… stop me… world… revolutionized, can’t you see? Nothing else… just love...“

“I… please be…”

This was incredibly annoying. He could barely understand anything. And that sentence she’d said had seemed important!

“Ask her. Please.”

There it went again… a mention of some female person. Lily was asking Herman to ask her something. But what? It had to be some friend of Herman’s that Lily didn’t know too well. But who? He rather hoped it was Alice. If it was Alice it was actually a really useful thing. He’d wanted her to be some sort of insider for this mission. But if it wasn’t Alice, this could be bad. Then again… he’d noticed the way Lily had looked at Alice at the wedding. She was almost analytical. Of course the little brat wouldn’t have noticed. But he did. To be totally honest, he had not really noticed how she looked at other people. But, really, the little brat was the perfect target for pretty much anything. And they’d played their cards right. These two fools thought that they were in love. And hadn’t Lily mentioned something about love? Well… he could only hope. If not, well, things would be more difficult. But he felt confident enough that they’d managed to put Alice in the forefront of their minds when it came to that particular topic. He stretched. Anything else they said was going to be useless to him, he felt. It was time to look around the place and get a feel for the layout. From what he could see from the windows and just guesswork, he felt he could get a basic layout. If Alice ever got inside, she could correct the layout. That was imperative.

It took him a while to make a good enough mental map of the place, at least as far as he could really do so with what little he could see. The place was big, but it only had two stories. None of the places he could properly see were fit for some kind of secret lab. All the rooms looked well-decorated, and just, well, normal. The curtains were open even in the upper rooms, and there was nothing that looked out of the ordinary in the edges. With servants all over the place, though, it was probably a safe bet that she wouldn’t keep her research out in the open. It could be dangerous. It was likely that there was some sort of basement. Alchemists did like basement laboratories, and since not one of the rooms he could see looked fit for a lab, he felt sure he could confirm the existence of some sort of hidden place. Just to make sure, he checked the rest of the grounds for some kind of entrance or something like that.

What he found was most interesting. In a remote corner of the grounds, there was a sort of shed, locked with some rather heavy chains. You just didn’t take such care to lock a place unless it had something valuable inside. It was a good place to check, at least. Satisfied, Envy began walking away, shifting back into an average office worker when he was about to go back into the main streets. No one saw him. The mission was a success.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, how did your scouting go?” Lust asked Envy when he returned.

“Well, I’d say it was a success. I scouted the grounds, got a rough layout figured out, and saw something interesting that might be the entrance to the laboratory that she’s got to keep in that house. They were also talking about needing something important to finish the research. And about needing to ask something from… some female. I’m hoping that it’d be our little prisoner,” he replied.

“But you can’t make sure it will be her, can you?”

“Well… I’ve done my best in making her a really good option for, well, anything…”

“So, no guarantees. So useless, as usual,” Lust sighed.

“There are certain things we can’t control. Whatever it was that they needed, it seemed like something Herman was not very willing to ask for, so they can’t ask just anyone. If it’s something that could be considered bad, I don’t expect him to turn to his more confident friends. I’d say it’s safe to assume he’ll turn to someone who seems like they wouldn’t say no to pretty much anything. Someone that’s more like a doormat, and that’s exactly what our little prisoner is by now.” Envy shrugged. He hated being called useless, but what could he do? He could call Lust an old hag, and at least HE would be telling the truth, but there was not much else to do. Best explain what he’d done that made him FAR from useless.

“I don’t like this. But I suppose that we don’t have much other choice. But remember… if you mess this up, Father is going to be extremely displeased. I would not want to be the one reporting that kind of failure to him.”

Well, she had a great point there. It was probably time to start making other plans, just in case things didn’t go well enough. He didn’t want to report a failure of that magnitude to Father.

“Yeah, well, the only thing I’ll be reporting is success!”

At the very least, that’s what he hoped. He felt sure enough that the way things had been set up, Herman would indeed turn to Alice for help with whatever it was they needed. It made sense. It had to be someone close to Herman, otherwise Lily wouldn’t be asking him to do the talking. They’d send a servant, or she’d go herself. But if Herman was supposed to be the one asking, and it sounded like it’d be a personal favour, it definitely pointed to someone Herman knew well enough. And that man had very little life outside work and home, so it was likely someone from work.

Lust didn’t seem entirely convinced, but what else could he do? He’d done what he could. He was using sub-par pawns and he didn’t even have direct access to that love freak. Sure enough, even thinking about reporting such a huge failure was unpleasant, but he wouldn’t have to, right? At any rate, it was time to ask for (or rather demand) Alice’s cooperation in this matter. He guessed he had to bring her food too. Honestly, he couldn’t even remember when he’d last brought her food. Was it breakfast? Oh, wait, yes, he had taken her out late that morning. Had he brought her a late lunch? Probably not. Whoops. Heading to the area where they kept their food, he quickly grabbed something for the girl. They thankfully had some things that could be cooked in minimal time. He made his own dinner too. It might help to make her a bit more cooperative with minimal threats if he softened her up first. Maybe he’d let her talk to him or something. More time spent on her… this was really starting to worry him a bit. Then again, he wasn’t like Pride. He wouldn’t go all soft.

He found Alice sleeping, as she was prone to do when something was upsetting her or, well, yeah, when she was really hungry or something. The wimpy brat couldn’t even take a few hours without food. Setting the tray on the table, he walked over to her and shook her awake, rather roughly. She nearly fell off the bed, but was up very quickly.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“Who cares? I brought your food.”

“Why, thank you. Is… it lunch?”

“I think it’s dinner by now, actually.”

She didn’t complain. She definitely knew better. He’d educated her very well, after all. She simply walked over and sat at the table. He could tell she was really, really hungry from the way she was looking at the food, even if she was hesitating, looking at him, almost as if to ask permission to start eating. It made him feel pretty great, having that kind of power over her. He really wanted to torment her a bit by acting dismissive and making her hesitate even longer. However, right now, being really nice suited his needs better. He sat down to eat as well, knowing she’d follow suit, which she presently did.

“Busy day?” she asked, seemingly trying to spark conversation.

Was she trying to indirectly ask why he’d not brought her lunch?! That cheeky brat!

“Yup,” he replied. “A lot of actually important things to do.”

If she was going to be cheeky, might as well highlight how she was NOT important enough. She cast her gaze downward. She’d noticed the implication. Good! He knew, though, that despite how tempting it was, he should not do much more than that. In fact, he probably should be a bit nicer. Even though he could easily get the girl to agree to do whatever he wanted her to do, it was in his best interests that she was actually receptive to it, so that she would genuinely do her best effort, rather than something half-hearted because she was too scared to focus properly on her job.

“So did you enjoy your breakfast?” he asked her, trying to change the topic to something more pleasant to her.

“Yes, thank you. It was very pleasant.”

“Lust went there once on one of her dates. She’s the one that told me it’s a fairly good place. Fancier than what we usually have,” Envy said. He knew that she liked him to share things about himself. He didn’t like doing it, but well, a bit wouldn’t hurt.

“You usually eat here, right?”

“Yup. Unless we’re traveling, obviously. If we eat out of here, it’s usually the military diner.”

“Why, though? Isn’t it kind of… boring, maybe? To eat at the same place most of the time?”

“We only really eat for practical reasons,” Envy shrugged.

“You don’t really enjoy it?”

“Yes, but we don’t need to.”

Really, what a nosy girl.  But she seemed more at ease.

“You’re going to get a new mission,” he said after a bit of silence. “Or, well, it’s an update to your mission, anyways.”

“What is it?” she asked in a resigned tone.

“I’ve gotten information that tells me that Herman might ask for a favour from one of his coworkers. A female coworker. I need you to be that person.”

“But how?”

“I don’t know! Be friendly and available. This should happen soon, though. It seemed urgent. So this week you should get the request. I don’t care what it is. Take it.”

“What if it’s something really unethical? Like… I don’t know, sleeping with him or something like that? I mean, he and Lily are all about love and all, and some people think that’s the greatest expression of it. What if they want that?”

Envy gave her a really sharp look. Was she REALLY asking that?

“Then you go and sleep with whoever he asks you to.”

“What if it’s YOU? They think you’re the love of my life!”

He felt the blood rush up to his face, half in surprise, half in anger. How could she be so good at bringing these awkward things up?!

“Why are you even asking that?! If they ask you to sleep with me, you’ll TELL them we did and that you had a wild, crazy night and I’ll GIVE you the bruises to prove it!”

He was glad to see her flinch and then cower from him. How dare she bring up disgusting topics like THAT?

“S...sorry!” she said. “I just wanted to clarify… you said anything they asked, right? But wouldn’t requests like that be against the previous mission of you being seen as my life’s love if it was with someone else? And if not, well, you’d be really against it anyways, right?”

He hit his face with the palm of his hand in frustration. These technicalities! He supposed that the only problem with making the girl so dependent was that she just wouldn’t think of much on her own anymore. Probably best that way, though. When she did show initiative, it led to things like their engagement.

“Look, just agree to whatever, and we’ll see what it is and what can be done, okay?”

“Alright, sir.”

He took a deep breath. It was really hard not to lose his patience with her sometimes. But he needed her at her most cooperative. He’d been really nice to her. Normally, that kind of cheeky behaviour would have had him break something, and that something was most likely to be the cheeky person’s bones. But he’d brought the girl food, and he’d kept her company, and even engaged in some conversation. He’d even shared a bit about himself. And he’d even managed to keep his temper in check. Yeah, he’d been really nice. She should be very thankful.

He didn’t say much after that, and neither did she, thankfully. He was not in the mood to be bothered with talking much. He had a lot of plans to make now. If Herman didn’t ask her for help, then he had to have options. The problem was that there were so many variables, that it was hard to plan for everything. This wasn’t like other circumstances where they could orchestrate huge situations, nor was it something where their direct intervention could be used. It was really annoying.

He also couldn’t really forget the brat’s awkward question. How dare she ask that?! She should know the answer already so why did she even bother?! He was extremely repulsed by the idea itself, rather than by the person in question. Wait, had he really just thought that? Ugh, he might just be sick. He left Alice’s room as quickly as possible, in the worst mood he’d been in for a while.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alice actually hoped a bit that Herman wouldn’t ask her for… whatever it was that Envy was expecting him to ask. The way Envy’d said that she had to agree with anything Herman asked for seemed nothing short of ominous. What if Herman needed some kind of favour that would be really awful for her? She’d only asked about the worst-case scenarios she could think of at the moment, but Envy’s reaction to that wasn’t exactly reassuring. It made her a bit nervous when she headed back to work, but the first day, he didn’t ask for anything. She did her best to act normal despite how nervous she was. She was sure that if something was asked of her, it’d be the worst thing ever, and she’d be forced to accept, and she absolutely hated that. Envy was very frustrated when she reported that day that Herman hadn’t asked her for anything. When the second day passed with the same result, he was so furious that he’d conveniently “forgotten” to give her any dinner. She was pretty sure it had been intentional, even if she couldn’t prove it. The third day, he’d been especially nice, bringing her a better breakfast than usual, and even another flower, almost as if to make up for forcing her to go hungry the night before. She was thankful, definitely. Was he feeling sorry for it? Was it his way of apologizing? She supposed she could hardly blame him for the anger. She knew he was being pressured a lot by his Father to get this mission done. All she could do was to keep trying her best to be of use. She prayed that she’d be able to be useful. After all, if she wasn’t, Envy would be even more furious, not to mention her own life would be in danger.

Starting the day with a better breakfast than usual and even a lovely rose to put in that vase Envy had given her (one of the very, very few possessions she had anymore), she felt better. She was starting to think that Herman would ask someone else for whatever favour he needed, and was wondering how she’d report this to Envy when she was approached by him. She was a bit surprised because it wasn’t quite lunchtime.

“Hey, Alice, do you have a minute?” he asked.

She actually didn’t, but she would rather get a bit behind in her errands than anger Envy. And if she didn’t make herself available to whatever it was Herman needed, she was sure she’d have to face Envy’s wrath.

“Sure,” she replied. “Why?”

“Come walk with me for a moment.”

She nodded and walked next to him, feeling her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest. Was he going to ask for that favour? Or was this something completely unrelated? He seemed serious, though. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to report a failure or a success in this.

“Are you and Evan going to get married soon?”

That was a strange question, and it felt very ominous to her. She hoped he was not leading into what she had described a few days ago as a worst-case scenario. She really, really didn’t want the bruises Envy had promised her. By the look on his face, she knew he expected a certain answer.

“Of course,” she replied. “We don’t have a date set yet, but we should have it soon.”

Envy was going to kill her.

“Great!” he said, and he looked a bit relieved. “Hey, listen. Lily’s really taken an interest in meeting you. You’re pretty young, and you also come from the country, like her, and she’d really love to take you under her wing, so to speak. Help you out, one country girl to another. She told me to ask you if you’d be interested… once every two weeks, to go and talk to her so you can both share experiences and advice.”

This… was what he wanted to ask? It seemed harmless enough, even if it meant that she’d have to go to a stranger’s house. The last time she’d done that had ended with her being stuck with Envy, so she couldn’t really say she liked the idea, but she had her orders.

“Sure. I’d be delighted!” she replied.

“Really? Well, that’s great! Lily has been feeling a bit lonely, you see. Some company would do her great. I’ve been telling her that, but she hadn’t really met anyone she would really talk to. I’ve told her a lot about you, and she’s interested. I think the two of you could become great friends.”

She nodded.

“I just have a question. How would I get there? And back?”

“Well, I’ll take you there after work, to be sure! And I can drive you home afterwards.”

Driving her home sounded like a terrible idea. She was sure Envy would hate her for this too, but what choice did she really have?

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly intrude like that,” she said. “I’m sure that Evan would be happy to pick me up.”

“Well, it’s up to you, but it’s really not a problem.”

“I’ll talk to Evan, then. But I’m delighted, really, with this idea.”

“I’m glad. Well, you’ll tell me tomorrow, right? After you’ve had a chance to discuss it with Evan?”

“Sure. Consider it accepted. I just have to ask Evan about the logistics to get to and from there.”

“Alright. Fair enough. Thank you, Alice. This means a lot.”

“Not a problem at all!”

It was a huge problem, actually. She’d just said a few things that would make Envy angry. Not only that, but she was definitely not looking forward to visiting a stranger’s house. The way it had last ended for her… she was lucky Envy had turned out to be fairly decent, but in the end, she was still stuck with him. She was even engaged to him now. Obviously she wouldn’t end up engaged to Lily or Herman by visiting their house, but it seemed that bad things happened when she visited people’s houses in Amestris. Her orders, though, were very clear. She at least hoped that Envy would be happy about that. He’d been right. Herman went to ask her for the favour. It was, thankfully, not the worst-case scenario, but she still didn’t like it. She supposed it didn’t matter, though. What mattered were her orders, and whatever Envy thought.

The rest of her workday was less stressful, at least. Herman hadn’t taken much of her time, and she was able to catch up quickly. And, of course, there was lunch time. She was always very happy to see Vincent there. She wondered idly why she wasn’t engaged to him, rather than to Envy. Vincent was handsome and kind. Envy… alright, she had to admit he had a bit of a cute face. But his eyes were intimidating. The purple color was quite lovely in its own way, but the slitted pupils were frightening. Not to mention that he usually had a most unkind expression. And though he’d been… nice… to her, he was not an especially kind person. On the other hand, Vincent was everything Alice had dreamed of in a man, really. Dark hair, lovely blue-green eyes, quite manly (if there was any trait she could DEFINITELY say Envy lacked, it was manliness), and so kind. She knew better than to make even the slightest sign that she liked him, though. She was terrified of what Envy might do if he felt Vincent was a threat to their plans.

That day, though, Envy was pretty late in coming to pick her up at Central Headquarters. She was waiting at the entrance to the office, wondering when he’d show up, when she was surprised by someone calling her name. It was Vincent.

“Oh, hello!” she answered.

“Hey! What’s up? Why are you still here?” he asked.

“Oh… I’m just waiting for Evan.”

“Wow, he’s leaving you here alone?”

“He works here, but he sometimes has things to do that take him out of the office. He’s rarely late at all, though. I’m a bit worried.”

“Well, it won’t do to leave a lady waiting on her own here. Do you mind if I keep you company until Evan arrives?”

She was torn. On the one hand, she really wanted to spend time with him. On the other, she knew Envy hated it when she spent time with him. Then again, she did not want to be rude to him. He was Herman’s relative, after all.

“You don’t need to worry about it,” she said. “It’s fine.”

“Nonsense! Like I said, leaving a lady to wait here alone is just not okay. I will keep you company.”

She didn’t want to argue. It would be quite impolite. Envy would just have to understand, even if being understanding came about as naturally to him as eating carrots to a cat. Vincent was very pleasant. He also seemed to want to spend more time with her. It was actually kind of flattering. They talked for quite a while. He was curious to know about where she came from and her life before Evan. She managed to give him enough details to satisfy his curiosity, while leaving enough vague so as not to give anything important away.

“But I don’t really think much about my old life. I am happy now,” she said, hoping that would make sure he would not ask any more questions.

“Alright. I guess I’ll change the subject. Evan really is late, though.”

“Yes, he is. It’s very unlike him.”

“I get the feeling he didn’t like me much.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I mean, really I don’t know enough about him, but he just didn’t seem very talkative in the wedding.”

“He’s just shy, that’s all,” Alice lied. Really, that was the last adjective she’d apply to Envy. She’d sooner call him compassionate than shy.

“Oh, well, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Is he a jealous kind of fiancé?”

“No,” she said. Well, she hoped he wasn’t. Then again, if she meant as little to him as she thought she did, there was no reason for him to feel jealous.

“Oh, good. I know some men are so jealous that they’d even mistreat their lady if they see her talking to another man.”

He was really trying to get information about Evan and her relationship to him. She didn’t entirely appreciate it, but it was a fairly harmless thing, she supposed. She wondered what his interest in her relationship was.

“Oh, he’s not like that at all,” Alice said. That was another lie. Maybe the reasons were different, but Envy did mistreat her. Less so lately, but he did. “He’d have to keep me from working, though, really, if he were like that. I talk to plenty of men at work.”

“That’s true,” Vincent said with a laugh. “So I guess he treats you well!”

She wondered if Herman had put him up to the task of asking these things. Herman had always seemed interested, but then again he’d had a reason to. Vincent really didn’t have a reason to be interested in this, did he?

“He really does. He’s absolutely devoted.”

He seemed satisfied enough with that, and finally changed the subject to other matters, mostly about work and other small talk. It still took a while for Envy to arrive, looking rather worn, in his Evan disguise. Alice’s heart sank. He did not seem to be in a great mood, and he was going to see her talking to Vincent. This was the perfect recipe for disaster. She wanted to run and hide, but she knew that would never do. It would be suspicious and if she did something that could endanger their plan, he would have no more mercy with her. She did her best not to flinch when his gaze met hers.

“Ah, there’s Evan now,” she said, smiling as best as she could, hoping her voice wouldn’t sound strange.

“Well, that’s great! Good to see nothing happened to him,” Vincent said. He then raised his voice a bit so as to be heard by the approaching young man. “Hey Evan! I was just keeping your lady friend company!”

“My fiancée,” Envy corrected him. “Thanks.”

“Everything okay?” Alice asked him.

“Long day. Come on, darling, let’s go home,” he replied.

Darling? This was probably weirder than his shapeshifting abilities. But she followed Envy nonetheless, making no sign that she was weirded out at the term of endearment. After a few steps, she turned back to Vincent.

“Thank you, Vincent. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Have a good night, both of you!” Vincent replied.

Alice waved as she turned back to leave. Envy gave him a weary wave, then took Alice’s hand. She could tell by the strength with which he was holding her hand that he was really unhappy, and most likely angry. He didn’t say anything, though. She wondered if he would let it slide. Somehow she doubted it. He was unnaturally silent all the way back to the underground place… and he didn’t take her back to her own room. He took her to his room. She had a really bad feeling about this, which turned out to be justified when the first thing he did after locking the door was turning around, walking towards her, grabbing her by the hair and kneeing her in the stomach. She crumpled to the floor.

“I thought I told you to stay away from that guy,” Envy growled.

She couldn’t answer due to trying to catch her breath due to the pain.

“Well?! Answer me!”

“S… sorry…” she managed to gasp.

“Why were you bothering to talk to him?! And for how long?!”

That wasn’t a one-word answer. She’d have to take a moment to breathe.

“If you keep not answering, I’m going to snap your fingers into pieces!”

“He saw me waiting for you… he just kept me company while you got there…”

“I told you to stay away from him! You disobeyed a direct order!”

“It would be just as bad to be rude!” she protested.

“I don’t care! Find a way to keep away from him! I don’t like his weird interest in you!”

“Why?”

“Because it seems weird, that’s why. I don’t like it and it is a problem to me and it puts the entire plan at risk!”

“It’s… just a friendship! Like… with everyone else!”

“I said to stay away from him, and you’ll do that… or I’ll make sure you regret it your entire, pathetic life! Now get up!”

“I can’t!”

It was true. The pain was still harsh, and she could barely move. Envy rolled his eyes, picked her up, and unceremoniously tossed her onto the couch, pulling her up to a sitting position.

“You asked for this. I was very clear! Now, the best part about this is that it won’t leave a visible mark,” Envy said with a huge smile. “I won’t have to ask the doctor to come and heal this. Enjoy the pain~!”

She sighed. This was going to be very difficult.

“Now. What’s your report?” he asked, taking a seat on a chair at the table.

“Herman asked me for a favour.”

“Did he now?” Envy asked in an eager tone, his eyes sharply focused on her now.

“Yes… I don’t know if it’s what you wanted, though.”

“Well, tell me!”

“He wants me to go to his house every so often. He says Lily wants to take me under her wing.”

She decided not to tell him yet about the lie she’d been forced to say then. He was angry enough already.

“Well… that’s odd. But of course you’ll say yes.”

“I just need to tell him how I’ll get to and from there. He said he could take me there from work and then drive me back home… but it obviously wouldn’t work.”

It was really hard to talk with the pain from her stomach, but she managed, even if her voice was almost a whisper.

“Yeah, that won’t do. I guess I have no choice. I’ll pick you up. This may not be what we’re after, but it will still be helpful. I will need you to be observant and tell me the house layout as you see it. You probably won’t see much of it, but whatever you see will be useful. And if you can somehow get lost once or twice looking for a bathroom, that will be useful too.”

“Alright…”

She must have seemed nervous because he gave her a very suspicious look.

“Is that all? Or is there more?” he asked.

She gulped. She really wished she were fast enough to run away. Not that she could even stand up yet.

“Out with it,” he said, his eyes narrowing.

“Please don’t kill me...”

“Out. With. It.”

“Herman asked me if we were going to be married soon.”

What little color was in Envy’s face drained from it.

“And you told him…?”

“We would be marrying soon.”

Loud creaking and then a huge crash were heard as the chair Envy was sitting in suddenly broke into pieces under his weight.

“OW!” he yelped as he landed on the floor amidst the pieces of the chair.

If this had been anyone else, she might have laughed. But as it was, she was pretty terrified. She just watched with wide eyes as Envy took a few seconds to get back up, his legs seemingly having some trouble holding up his body. After a bit, he was back on his feet normally, looking incredibly stressed out. She couldn’t tell if he was furious, plain frustrated, upset, none or a combination of all the above. She was completely frozen in place. She didn’t dare move, though it wouldn’t really help if she had the mental energy to. She was still in pretty severe pain from the blow she’d received. There was no way she would be able to run even if she’d not been frozen. She watched as a few drops of sweat dripped off his face. This looked pretty bad.

“So. Let me get this straight,” he said through clenched jaws. “I told you before… that saying we were getting engaged was a very stupid idea…” His eyes narrowed. “AND YOU TELL HIM WE ARE GETTING MARRIED SOON?! Are you out of your mind?! What’s next?! You’re going to go and tell him you’re going to start a family already?! Do you realize the position this puts me in?! Of course you don’t! You’re an idiot that’s only managed to be useful because I’ve spent so much time guiding you! And then you go and do stupid things like THIS! Do you even understand me?! You could mess everything up if you go too far with this! What am I supposed to do then!? This was supposed to be a simple task and you’re making it too complicated!”

“H… he really wanted to hear that answer…” she managed to say, her voice barely a squeak.

“Was it too hard to say that you weren’t sure yet?! I thought you were against this whole thing! But you’ve just gone and made it more complicated! Do you WANT to be married to me?!”

She was too scared to have much of an opinion one way or the other, but she also didn’t want to say so.  Knowing Envy, he’d take offense whether she said yes or no anyway, so it was best to try to avoid answering directly.

“I want to live,” she replied quietly. “Remember? When you asked me about my choice, I said I chose to live. You told me to do my best with Herman. I’ve done that. If it means I have to marry you soon if you don’t get what you need from him quickly enough, well, so be it. I’ve been doing what I can. I’m sorry it’s making things complicated for you, but I did what I thought best.”

He didn’t say anything to that, looking instead at the wreck of the chair he’d crushed. Without a word, he left, slamming the door shut. Alice was just glad he hadn’t killed her or something. That had been close. She curled up on the couch and simply waited. There was nothing else she could do.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later, she heard a polite knock. That was certainly not Envy. She only knew one person around here who bothered with a polite knock.

“Envy is not here right now,” she said.

The door opened either way and Lust entered the room. She had an almost curious look on her face.

“What was all that screaming about?” she asked.

“It was Envy,” Alice replied.

“Yes, obviously. But why? Oh, my, I see he broke yet another chair. He loses control so easily. What did you do to him to make him so angry?”

“Well… he told me to make sure Herman asked me for… I don’t know. Something he needs. So Herman asked me if I was going to get married… and I said we would soon.”

“Surprising that he only broke the chair, then. I’m sure he doesn’t want to get married. It was hard enough to get him to agree to simply date you in the first place.”

“I know, but Herman really wanted to hear that. So that’s why I told him that. If I hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t have asked me what he did. I’ve known him for a while. The way he asked that… he wanted a yes from me. I’m sorry Envy got all upset, but it’s just the best I could do.”

“Well, it can’t be helped now, anyway. It’s a shame, really. It would have been so much easier if you’d just answered with something smarter.”

“Yeah, I know. He said the same thing.”

“He was right.”

“Is… he going to be upset a long time?”

“He’ll get over it soon enough. In the meantime… try to be nice to him. You don’t want to end up like that chair.”

Alice flinched.

“He was only sitting on it, though,” Alice said. “It just suddenly broke.”

“Of course he was. He’s also only been sitting on every other chair he’s ever broken. Greed used to have a lot of fun angering him during dinner once in a while. And then after he left, Pride got into that habit. We’ve had to fix quite a few chairs since Envy was born,” she said with a shrug. “And once, we had to fix the table, too.”

She wasn’t sure she wanted to ask how he’d managed to break an entire table. She knew he was destructive and heavy, but she didn’t really know exactly how much was strength and just how much was his nature and weight. He broke bones, sure, but this was the first time she’d outright seen him break something without trying to. She wondered, though, how he managed to not break chairs most of the time when he sat on them. She wasn’t sure if Lust would be willing to answer that, but she might as well try. Lust was less likely to threaten to tear off her nose or something for being curious.

“How come he doesn’t break every chair he sits on?”

“Well, as long as he’s calm, he can keep control over his shape and mass. Upset him enough, or injure him, and he can’t,” Lust replied. “Of course, if he’s upset, it’s usually with anger, and that tends to be pretty dangerous for most people. I wouldn’t want to pick a fight with him, frankly.”

Wise woman. Even if what she’d seen him do was the worst he did, he was terrifying. If he could do worse(and she had the sinking feeling he COULD), well… that went beyond simple terror.

“Yeah… I learned why not to pick a fight with him the hard way,” Alice said with a small shudder.

“So I heard. I’ve also heard he’s gotten better about that. He hasn’t really attacked you for a while, has he?”

Alice shook her head despite the still-strong ache on her stomach where he’d kneed her just a few minutes ago. She gave a slight wince that she really hoped Lust didn’t notice.

“Well… that’s a pretty good lie. But you could do better if you didn’t wince. I do hope you don’t answer like that when people at work ask you why you’re hurt.”

“No! No one at works suspects a thing. Envy would kill them.”

“Oh, he would. Or he’d make sure they were deployed where they would die anyway, or at least be blown to several pieces.”

“He can do that?!”

“Well, not directly. But all he needs to do is ask Wrath to make it happen.”

“I haven’t met Wrath.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Lust replied with some amusement. “Anyway, I suppose you answered my question. I do look forward to your wedding. I’m pretty sure you and your future husband don’t, though.”

She gave Alice an almost dismissive wave and left. She was right. Envy was furious. And she wasn’t feeling much better now about the prospect of marrying him. Even if she’d grown used to him, almost liking him in a way, marriage seemed like such a definitive thing. She didn’t want to be so tied to him, especially not when so young. Granted, in her situation, she was not going to get to meet anyone else. There was, of course, Vincent… but she’d just gotten beaten up simply because she’d been talking to him. What Lust had told her he could do to people who got in his way was frightening. He could send Vincent away to get killed. She couldn’t allow that. He was out of the question. Other than that, there was no one else. Even if she returned home(if there even was a home to return to), she wasn’t entirely sure she really had what it would take to meet someone and get married. Mostly, though, she was afraid that she was stuck here in Amestris forever. And after they were done with their plan and using her for whatever else they wanted? What would happen to her? She honestly doubted that being Envy’s wife would really get her much mercy from them. They might kill her in the end. She really had no way of knowing what they would do with her after everything was said and done. They said they would take her home… and maybe they would. But they might not. And what if they tried and it turned out that she really was some kind of artificial construct like Envy had said was possible? What if there was no home to return to? What if there was, but whatever had brought her to Amestris had muddled her soul and memories so much that it’d be as foreign to her as Amestris had once been… if they could even find out where that place was? It was all a real possibility, and that would mean she’d have to stay in Amestris, and then she would be tied to Envy. Maybe she’d be finally allowed to go her own way, but she still wouldn’t feel free.

It had been a while since she’d allowed herself to think about these things, really. She hated it. It always made her feel miserable. There were soon tears on her face. She couldn’t help it. The dreadful thoughts and the severe pain she still felt were too much. She knew Envy would be back and he would really hate seeing her in emotional tears again, but she still couldn’t stop herself from crying. It seemed that whenever she allowed her feelings to flow, they tended to overwhelm her. She just wanted to stop feeling these things, but she didn’t know how. Maybe she should ask Envy about that. He’d said that his father could do things to souls and memories. Maybe he’d be willing to do that for her. The thought gave her a bit of relief. She was nearly composed by the time Envy came back to the room. To her surprise, he was followed by the doctor.

“Oh, my. It looks like your girl isn’t feeling well,” the doctor said.

“She’s fine,” Envy muttered.

“Ah, there’s the chair,” the doctor said, starting to draw a circle on the floor with a piece of chalk he was holding.

Envy didn’t say anything as he picked up all the pieces from the chair and put them on the circle. The doctor began to scribble some symbols around the circle.

“Well, then, stand back,” he said.

Envy did so and the doctor spread his hands over the circle. Immediately, blue bolts of energy began flying out of it and a bright glow made Alice cover her eyes while it lasted. When the glow cleared, the chair was back in one piece.

“Well, that’s done. Are you sure you don’t want me to heal the girl while I’m here? She doesn’t look well.”

“Yup. She’s fine. She’s just being a stupid crybaby.”

“Very well.”

With that, the doctor left, leaving Alice alone with Envy. She guessed that he was still in a pretty poor mood because of how he’d insisted that the doctor not heal her. She knew she probably should feel quite worried, but she was too drained from the overwhelming feelings from earlier to really feel that way. She felt a bit of worry, yes, but not really too much of it. What she felt more than anything was the need to ask about what his father could do about souls and memories.

“Envy,” she said.

“What now? I see you’ve been crying, but don’t you dare ask me to do anything about it.”

“It’s not that. I want to ask you about something.”

“Yeah, whatever. What is it?”

“You said your father could… do something to souls, right?”

“Yeah, he can manipulate them.”

“And to memories?”

“Yeah, he can cleanse them,” he replied. He gave her a really sharp look. “Why do you ask?”

“Can… he do that to me? Make me forget everything?”

“What?!” Envy exclaimed, giving her an outright shocked look. “Why would you want that?!”

“I was thinking about what you said before, about me probably being fake and my memories being false. I don’t want to remember them. They only cause me pain.”

“I was just messing with you! I mean, okay, fine, it’s possible and we don’t really know for sure, but come on, wanting to get your memories wiped?!”

“Can he or can’t he?”

“He can. But I’m not going to even ask him!”

“Why? Why would you care?”

“Because those memories make you, well, you! And I need the person you are right now! We’re in the middle of an important mission! We can’t have you messing it up!”

“It’s just the past memories. I’ll still remember everything about the mission.”

“Look. I’m going to be honest here. I hate you humans. I really do. However, I’ve spent a lot of time with you, and I’ve learned to somewhat tolerate YOU. If you go and mess up your memories, who knows what will happen to your personality! You won’t be you anymore! And I’m not going to learn to tolerate a different person! Especially not one I’m supposed to be engaged to, and, thanks to your stupid slip-up, getting married to! And you might give me a lot of trouble, too, and make all my time spent on you a waste! There’s no way I’m letting you do a thing like that to me!”

“Yet you could like the person I become better.”

“I don’t care! This has never been about whether I like you or not. I can hate your guts or love you or not care at all and I would still be doing the same thing. This is about the mission. And I’m not going to let your pathetic weak moment of emotion ruin everything for me! Do you understand that?!”

She nodded, a knot forming in her throat.

“There, see?” he said, walking over to get and giving her a slightly rough pat on the head, much like someone would give a pet. “We can understand each other fine! I’ll bring you some nice dinner, alright?”

She nodded and he left the room again. When he was gone, she buried her head in her hands, sobbing with the last of her hope for getting rid of the painful feelings gone. There was no escaping this fate, was there? She was completely bound to it, memories, soul and all. And there was nothing she could do about it.


	21. Preparations for a Ceremony

## Chapter 21 - Preparations for a Ceremony

“So then she asked me to tell Father to erase her memories!” Envy exclaimed, in exasperation, to Lust.

Lust was the one making dinner this day, and Envy was actually glad he had someone to rant to about that stupid request from the girl. Lust didn’t really give him much of a reaction, though she listened to what he had to say.

“Well, I did warn you not to break her too much,” she said in her usual calm tone. “But of course you didn’t listen, did you?”

“Hey, come on! I didn’t break her! Okay, maybe a little, but I didn’t go and break her too much. I could have, but I didn’t. I’ve been really nice to her, much as it disgusts me!”

“Well, you are the most cruel one among us. You probably don’t notice it anymore, but you have been working hard to break her.”

“I’ve worked so hard to be nice to her, though! I’ve brought her flowers, I’ve taken her out to dinner and breakfast and I’ve said nice things to her. How is that breaking her?”

“You know full well how. You took a vulnerable and lost creature and you made sure she was crippled emotionally and completely trapped. It’s like when a bird falls off its nest and then you pick it up and break its wings and take it home. It may learn to live in a cage but it will always be broken. Really, your project has basically been to break a fallen bird,” Lust said. “You might have been nice to her a few times, but, in the end, you’ve broken her. I may not understand humans very well, but even I can tell that it’s not especially surprising that she’d feel like that. I will admit it’s a bit surprising that she asked that of you, though. Usually people value their good memories more than that.”

Envy thought about it for a moment. Lust was right, he had to admit. It had always been his goal to break her so that she could be forced to simply bend to his will. After he’d done that, though, he’d figured she was quite docile, and hadn’t worked so hard to break her. He very much did love to watch her squirm and suffer, but mostly, he felt he’d been quite nice. Really, it wasn’t his fault that humans were so fragile.

“Either way, I refused to even ask Father about that. I’m not going to bother him with that, and, really, even if he did do it, it’s a terrible idea. Would have worked great at first, and I’m actually kind of annoyed that I didn’t think of it then. But now? All it would do is turn her into a different person, and I can’t have that at this stage of the plan. It’d mess everything up!”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Lust asked.

“Of course I am. What else would I be worried about?”

“Well, why would you care if she becomes different?”

“Because,” Envy said, taking a moment to pause and properly word his thoughts. “Everyone already knows her and her changing would make people suspicious. It’d mess up everything! She’d be a completely different person. It just won’t do. And besides. I’d hate to have to get used to a different person.”

“You don’t CARE about her, do you?”

“No! But I’ve already spent so much time learning just how to control and manipulate her. I don’t want to waste that. And if she changed, it’d all be wasted.”

Lust handed him two sets of dinner plates she’d just filled as he was talking. He put them into a tray and lifted it, ready to go back to his room.

“So you’re going to go and eat with your little pet again?”

“Yeah. I don’t feel like it, but I guess there’s little choice if she’s feeling like that. Apparently humans like company when they’re feeling down. I left her in my room, too, so I probably should go and drag her back to her own place soon.”

“Ohhh, you’re going to visit the little girl that’s staying here?” a small child’s voice piped in.

Envy had to be very careful not to drop the tray. Pride. He really didn’t like Pride.

“Yep,” he replied dryly.

“I’ll go with you! I want to meet her.”

Well, this was just swell. But there wasn’t much he could do. Even if he said no, Pride would do what he wanted. That was just the way Pride was. He gave a quick nod and turned to leave. He wasn’t really going to invite Pride to come with him, even though he was obviously going to follow. He could hear him walking behind him. He wondered how Alice would react to this. With his “Selim” container, Pride looked perfectly harmless. He seemed to be just a normal little, chipper boy with black hair. She would never know at a glance that Pride was the most dangerous among them. He was wearing a cute little suit, too. Surely, Alice would think him adorable.

“I just got here, but Lust already told me about the new change to your mission.”

“Which one?”

“The one that happened today. You know. About her managing to make it so that you’ll have to get MARRIED.”

“Just how long were you around that you already know that?”

“Oh, a little while before you walked in. Lust told me. She heard from the girl. You must be so humiliated! A girl like that gets the advantage over you? And changes your plans like that and you can’t do anything?” Pride asked and gave a bit of a laugh. “You can be so incompetent sometimes, Envy.”

Envy gritted his teeth so hard he thought he might break them. It was just like that time a while back, when Pide had mocked him so much that he’d taken the first possible excuse to leave. This time, he wouldn’t even have that. Fortunately, Pride was far too busy with his double life to stay too long. His visits nowadays were always rare and short.

When he opened the door to his room, he found Alice still curled up on the couch. She looked like she had been crying, but she was composed enough. She looked exhausted. Maybe she was just too tired to keep crying. That made things less annoying, though. He liked to see her suffer, but he didn’t exactly enjoy her crying when she was feeling all emotional. It seemed a bit contradicting, but in the end, what he really hated was sappiness. And people tended to get all sappy when emotional. Tears of pain, on the other hand… those he could enjoy.

She looked at Pride with surprise. She’d obviously not expected him to bring a child. By her expression, she probably thought Pride was just a harmless kid. He wasn’t going to say anything just yet. He didn’t know what Pride would actually go with. Would he reveal his identity properly or go with his Selim identity?

“Oh, so this is the girl? Hi!” Pride exclaimed.

“Oh… hello,” Alice said. “Who might you be?”

She really did sound exhausted.

“You can call me Selim! Nice to meet you!”

“Pleased to meet you, Selim. My name’s Alice.”

“You’re Envy’s future wife, right?”

“Um… yes.”

“Are you very happy?” Pride asked with a huge, innocent grin. “Envy told me he’s really happy, even if he finds it hard to admit it!”

That bastard! Why was he saying that gigantic lie?! He turned to look at Alice. She looked quite confused, and he could hardly blame her. He was going to have to set things straight after he left. He didn’t want Alice getting the wrong idea!

“I… um, I guess so,” Alice replied to Pride.

It was Envy’s turn to feel confused.

“That’s great! I’m going to go to your wedding, and I’m going to enjoy seeing you both looking so happy! And then you guys are going to make a nice new home!”

“Uh, thank you,” Alice said. She really looked uncomfortable.

“Uh-oh! I really should go now. It was nice meeting you, Alice!”

Alice gave a hesitant wave to Pride as he left. Envy just sighed in relief.

“Wait, Envy, aren’t you going to follow him so that the chimeras don’t eat him?!” she asked.

“Oh, no. They’re not going to bother HIM.”

“How come?”

“Well. You just met my oldest brother. That… was Pride.”

“That adorable little boy?!”

“Yup. That adorable little boy is a monster.”

“But he looks completely normal! He doesn’t even have those.. red things you and Lust and Gluttony have!”

“That’s because the form you saw is just his container. It doesn’t have red nodes.”

“He seems so nice, though. But… what does he mean that you said you were happy?”

“That bastard is just lying!”

“Lying? But why?”

“Because that’s the way he is. He enjoys taunting people.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then went back to looking resigned.

“Look, I brought your dinner,” Envy said, pointing to the tray he’d left on the table. “Mine too. So eat something.”

She got up from the couch and sat at the table. She looked thoughtful. He sat down at the table as well, deciding to ignore her for now. He was still frustrated about Pride’s visit and he knew that he had to be relatively nice to the girl. Best to resist the temptation to talk at all.

“Would you reconsider about what I asked for earlier?” she asked after a bit.

He really wished she’d stayed quiet. Again with that? He couldn’t stand the idea of it.

“No!”

“Please reconsider. I… these memories I have that might be fake… I can’t possibly marry you with them. Marriage was something that meant a lot to me. Being forced into it… I can’t do it.”

“You’re going to have to. It was YOUR slip-up. Take responsibility! I don’t know why you’re even whining about it. YOU are the one messing up MY life!”

“Yes, I know. It was my slip-up and you have to pay for it too. But to you, it’s meaningless. To me, it’s not. It’s an important thing, and it’s so… final! With all I remember being taught, I just can’t stand it.”

“Marriage isn’t final. I mean, isn’t it supposed to be valid until the death of one of the parties? You’re human, so you’re dying first. It’d end when you die.”

“That’s the equivalent of forever to me!”

“Oh, yeah, I guess so,” Envy said, nodding. “Well. There’s always divorce.”

“It’s not the same when you’re divorced than when you were always single.”

“Hey, come on! That’s just stupid human culture bias and you know it! Divorce ends a marriage, and that’s the important part, right? You said marriage is final. It isn’t. I mean, I guess that when there’s kids and property and all that, it might be harder to finalize it and there may be lasting repercussions, but that’s not really something YOU would have to worry about,” Envy said and smiled. “After all, you have no property at all~!”

He really didn’t think he had to mention anything about kids. He’d said enough about those kinds of disgusting topics before. And besides, he was sure that failing to mention that would make Alice squirm. He watched her carefully as she did indeed shudder slightly and started shifting uncomfortably on her seat. Wonderful! He actually wanted to make her even more distressed, but he needed to give her a break. It took all his self-restraint to say nothing more.

“Can you at least tell me what’s going to change?”

“I don’t know yet.”

It was true. He was pretty sure that he’d be asked to give the girl some extra luxury if she cooperated. But he had no idea what it’d be. He didn’t really want to think about it, either.

“Will a lot change?”

“Nah. You’d have to sign the papers. You’d probably get some sort of exchange for cooperating, like we’ve done before,” he shrugged. “But there’s no real reason much should change.”

He really didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to her. Really it was just a few papers and that was it. It was worse for him because he would have to withstand Pride’s condescension and mockery, since she was a lowly human. Fortunately, it shouldn’t be too long. Their plan was going to be completed soon, after all. She was pretty silent as she ate, and so was he. He was far too tempted to hurt her to make any kind of conversation. Once she was done, he led her back to her room. They had to walk slowly since her ribs and stomach still hurt from the blow he’d given her earlier. Maybe he’d hit her a bit too hard. Oh well, it was pretty hard for him to control his strength sometimes. If she didn’t want to get hurt, she shouldn’t say and do stupid things. It was her fault entirely. She’d be fine by the next day, surely. And if she wasn’t, well, it’d serve her right! How dare she make such a huge mistake?! She entirely deserved it. After he left her in her cell, he went back to his room, cleared the table, and went to sleep. He did not have a very pleasant night.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Alice was woken up by the pain a good while before Envy came to the room with her breakfast. She wondered if there had been serious damage, but then again, if there was, she would have been unconscious or something. She more felt bruised and that would at least heal eventually. She could not go back to sleep, though, and quietly began reading one of those war books Envy kept bringing her. She was strongly hoping that when Envy arrived, he would bring the doctor with him. But she was disappointed. He came alone, bringing only her breakfast. He looked utterly exhausted, though, and as he waited for her to eat breakfast, he just more or less supervised her sleepily, his elbow on the table, and his head leaning on it. Little by little, his arm slipped lower and lower until he was fast asleep, his head leaning on the table. She supposed he hadn’t slept much, but she wondered what had kept him up. She wasn’t going to ask him, though. That’d require her to wake him up. Maybe he’d wake up on his own soon. She really hoped so because they had to leave and being late wasn’t much of an option. She knew she had time enough to eat breakfast and get ready, but that was it. She went and did exactly that while Envy slept. She couldn’t help thinking that he looked so harmless while asleep. His small stature and his pretty face (when not frowning or sneering or otherwise looking nasty) were not traits she would have normally associated with such a dangerous and cruel person. There was something to be said about not judging a book by its cover.

That said, despite her reluctance to outright marrying him and her full knowledge of his terrible temper and cruel ways, she kind of liked him now. She’d realized it around the time of Herman’s wedding, when she’d actually had a pretty pleasant time with him. Sure, he had a formidable temper and was pretty dangerous when angered, but other than that? He was… fairly nice, she supposed. She had to believe he was nice. She didn’t know how else she would be able to tolerate her situation.

And he was still asleep. She was ready and it must be getting late and he was asleep. She had to wake him, but it was dangerous to. It was also dangerous NOT to wake him, though.

“Envy?” she called quietly.

He did not stir. This was bad.

“Envy… we need to get to work,” she said slightly louder.

He stirred slightly, but didn’t wake. What was she supposed to do? She approached him. The safest spot to poke him on would certainly be his shoulder. There were those odd red nodes, though. She wondered if he would be mad if she poked him on one. But if she poked his shoulder it was easier to stay at a safe distance. That was her best choice. Carefully, she poked his shoulder and took a small leap back. That worked. Envy nearly jumped up.

"Huh?!" he exclaimed. “What the hell did you poke me for?!”

“We need to get to work.”

“And you need to get read- oh.”

He got up and stretched. Then he simply motioned for her to follow, which she did, and he led her to work. She was quite surprised he didn’t try to retaliate for her waking him up, but she guessed he was probably just too tired to bother. Definitely for the best. She didn’t need any more pain than she had. She already had to walk slightly bent because of that. She was already thinking of a way to answer any awkward questions she would get. She was pretty sure Vincent, at the very least, was going to ask about it. She was right. He stopped her sometime in the morning, apparently having looked for her all over, since his normal job didn’t usually have him working where she generally was.

“Hey, Alice!” he called.

She turned around, hoping that he’d only looked for her to say hi. She doubted it, though, since no one would really take a small break like that just to say hi. There was always lunch for that.

“Hey, Vincent! How’s work today?” she asked. Maybe mentioning work would give him a good enough hint.

“Great, but… how are you? Melissa told me you were hurt or something today.”

Great. There went the awkward question. She’d have to ask (or even plead!) Envy to do something about that injury.

“Hurt? Oh, no. I ate something that didn’t agree with me very much, that’s all. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

Did he look… suspicious? She really hoped not.

“Yeah, I hope so. Hey, by the way, I noticed Evan wasn’t very happy with you yesterday when he picked you up.”

“It had nothing to do with me. He’d had a very long day. You heard him say it.”

“He didn’t seem so much tired as just angry,” Vincent said, lowering his voice so as not to be overheard. “Listen… you know you can ask me and even Herman for help, right?”

She did not like the implications of that at all.

“I’m perfectly fine and happy. I got an upset stomach, that’s all,” she said coldly.

“Hey, I didn’t mean anything bad with that. But really. You know you have friends.”

“Of course.”

“Hey, why don’t you come with me to the infirmary? They could give you a check-up there and give you something for it.”

She knew that doing that was simply impossible. A doctor or nurse would find the bruise and that would be bad.

“No, no. It’s not necessary. It’ll pass and I’m pretty busy today.”

“It won’t take long. Come on.”

“Vincent, really. Thanks, but I’ll pass. I need to go now. I’m starting to get behind schedule.”

With that, she waved at him and turned away, trying to get away as quickly as possible. She very much wished she could find Envy, but she rarely ever did. She would have to wait until the end of the day for that. She was quite worried. In the meantime, she did her best to stand and walk as straight as possible. Maybe she’d look as though the problem had indeed passed. She supposed she did because, really, the only other concern she heard was from Herman, and he only asked if she felt better. She told him she did.

Later in the day, when she was back in Envy’s room, she thought she might as well start with that when it came to her report.

“I think Vincent was a bit suspicious about the stomach ache,” she said.

“What? Why?” Envy asked, his bored expression turning harsh almost instantly.

“I told him I’d eaten something that didn’t agree with me. And he immediately said you’d looked angry yesterday. When I insisted it had nothing to do with me or anything, he quietly told me that I could ask for help if I needed it,” Alice replied. She hated saying this about Vincent, but the mission came first.

“I don’t like this. There’s no indication that I could possibly abuse you. He doesn’t have the slightest reason to say that just from what he’s seen. And he makes that implication? There’s something else going on here. I don’t know what it is, but I really don’t like it,” Envy mused. His eyes narrowed as he gave her a harsh look. “I’m tired of telling you to keep away from him, and yet you keep associating with him. What MUST I do to you so that you’ll keep away from him?! Obviously I haven’t hurt you enough already!”

“I don’t seek him out! But after everything, I can’t just suddenly tell him to go away, either. It’d make everyone suspicious if I suddenly change like that, and they’d suspect you for it, most likely. But… I’ll try just acting really offended about today. That… that’d be good, right?”

“Yes. As a start. I want you to STOP associating with him before I think of a good enough way to punish you!”

“Yes, sir. I’ll do my best.”

“Oh yeah, by the way, we need to talk about the upcoming updates to our social contract.”

She had been dreading that. Then again, it was inevitable.

“Alright, then.”

“Technically, we can just force you to cooperate. I mean, you don’t have a choice, really. We can just kill you if you refuse. However, despite your idiotic mistakes, we can’t deny that you have been quite cooperative. The main principle of alchemy is equivalent exchange. We believe in that as the truth of the world. We have done that with you. In exchange for your initial cooperation, we gave you shelter and food and all that basic stuff. In exchange for helping us with the mission, you got a chance to be active, get fresh air and that human contact you desire so much. Then in exchange for your agreeing to our social contract, you got several luxuries, like meals in nice places once in a while, and nicer clothes and flowers and all. And a nominal change to that agreement got you that pretty ring you wear,” Envy said, closing his eyes, seeming thoughtful. “I’m aware you know this, but I want to be clear on the reasons things have been done. I don’t want you getting any incorrect ideas.”

“Of course.”

“It’s equivalent exchange, really. That’s all. So now we come to this new update to the contract. And yes, before you ask, I tried to convince Father not to go with this, but he disagreed,” he said with a shrug. “What I did get from him was his saying that since this is a big deal for you, then it would work best to negotiate the terms of the exchange.”

“Like… how?”

“Well, we can give you a few more privileges. Or I can do something huge for you. Something that’s a big deal. Of course, there’s limits to that. I can’t let you go. Or have Father erase your memories. Things like that.”

“I don’t even know, though. Can I think about this? Can you tell me what will be expected of me?”

“Well. You’ll have to sign a few papers. You have to pretend that you’re happy and that we’ll eventually start a family and whatever else Herman and Lily need to hear. However… if you give them ANY sort of time reference for ACTUALLY starting a family… I’m going to kill you. So if they ask you when you’re going to have kids… what are you going to answer?”

“That… I don’t know. That we’ll wait. Right?”

“... Try to sound sure about it.”

“Of course, sir.”

“You’re starting to make me think that what you want is THAT,” Envy frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve complained about breeding and family-making and yet, now you’re almost sounding unsure. Is THAT what you want?” Envy said. His expression was nowhere near nice.

“No!”

“Because if that’s what you want, I can give that to you. That can be my side of the equivalent trade. I’d give you nothing else, though.”

“I don’t want that!”

“Then why sound so unsure?”

“Because I don’t know exactly what you want me to say! I know you don’t want me to say something stupid, but I don’t know exactly what that is!”

He laughed.

“Just do what I said! Even a stupid person like you can do that,” he said, amused. Then he became serious again. “But as I was saying… you need to decide on what you’ll want.”

“But I don’t know what! Please give me some time to think.”

“Are you sure you don’t know? You seem awfully hesitant about the whole breeding thing. Normally, I’d flat-out refuse, but, thinking about it,” Envy said, grinning again, “I might actually enjoy the results.”

“What?! You said you didn’t do things like that!”

“Yes, that’s true! But think about it! You’re a puny, fragile little human, and I’m really solidly built. I definitely weigh several TIMES more than you do, and I’m also that much stronger. Can you imagine how many bones I could break within a few seconds~? It’d be worth it~!”

Well, that was just swell. He still wanted to break her bones, and he sounded positively ecstatic by the mere thought of doing so. Apparently the last time he’d done that hadn’t been enough. That was out of the question, though. She wasn’t suicidal!

“I don’t want any broken bones! Or THAT, either! You said you’d let me choose something I’d like! And that’s not it!”

Envy laughed.

“Glad to see you think that way! You don’t want me to do something so disgusting, so that’s fine with me! We’ll get along great! But you still need to decide on something.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Fine. I’ll give you a few days to think about that. In the meantime, I thought you should know that Lust and Wrath are starting with the preparations. The wedding should be by the end of next month,” Envy said. “I still can’t believe you were stupid enough to lead us both into this. But we’d best go with it. If whatever Lily is hiding weren’t so important… but it’s a major threat, so we have no choice.”

She wondered if he was more upset than she was. She hated the idea of marriage, even if it was something that could barely be considered as such. She was being forced to accept it, after all, and that didn’t really count, did it? She just had to make it look like it did. In the end… what did it matter anyways? All it amounted to was doing exactly what she’d been doing for all the time she was sure was real: she was obeying Envy’s orders, and spending time with him. She’d gotten quite good at that, for the most part.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Envy had apparently agreed with Alice that keeping her in pain was probably detrimental to their plans thanks to Vincent. Stomach aches wouldn’t really last more than one day anyways. He’d brought the doctor to her, and she’d gotten healed, much to her relief. Vincent did not bring the topic up again, and she did her best to act a bit cold towards him. It seemed to work. Aside from the necessary interaction during lunch, they did not talk. She still caught him looking at her once in a while as though he were looking for something, but she did not give him any opening to say anything. The week passed without any incidents. By the time Friday arrived, she had already talked to Herman about the logistics of his and Lily’s invitation. He was going to drive her to their home, where she was invited to have dinner, and Evan would pick her up about three hours later. That would give her enough time for dinner and for whatever Lily wanted to talk to her about. She was honestly extremely nervous about the whole thing. She’d never really been on her own with other people away from Envy’s supervision for so long in all her time in Amestris. Work barely counted since he was usually somewhere near and she’d seen that he usually kept an eye on her once in a while. And, well, she also didn’t know who was on his side in the military headquarters. This time she’d be in someone’s private home for a while and it was the first time she’d be completely on her own. While she already knew she would do nothing that would endanger the mission, she still felt almost lost without feeling the weight of his supervision. When the time arrived and she was sitting in Herman’s car, going towards his house, she could hardly breathe with the nervousness.

“Are you alright?” Herman asked.

“Oh yes!” she replied.

“You look a bit nervous!”

“Oh, no! I’m fine. I’m happy to have this honor,” she said with a nod.

“Alright, great! I’m sure you and Lily will get along great, you’ll see. I really want to thank you for doing this. It’s not like you had to, and I’m sure this is taking some of your time away from Evan.”

She almost wished she could tell him that time spent away from Evan was good time. Even though she had gotten to appreciate Envy, a lot of the time spent with him was time spent in terror that she might anger him or that he might hurt her for seemingly no good reason, or that he might find another weak spot to go after. It was time when she didn’t know if he was going to be a cruel monster or a decent person. Time spent with someone who was more consistently nice was a welcome change of pace. But of course, she couldn’t say a thing like that.

“Oh, don’t worry! It’s fine. Evan won’t mind, really. We still have the rest of the weekend, too, right?”

“Right. Still, thanks. It means a lot to me and to Lily, too.”

“It’s not a problem!”

Except it was. She was feeling lost, and she was doing this only because it furthered whatever agenda the Homunculi had, and because it led to the completion of their goals. In other words, she only did this because Envy had asked her to. He needed her to do this. As with most things in her life, she had no real choice.

Herman tried to keep her engaged in smalltalk, possibly to keep her from being too nervous. She supposed she came across as some kind of nervous wreck. It wasn’t very hard to see why. She really did spend most of her time in some kind of fear. It was a side-effect of living with inhuman creatures that thought it was completely acceptable to kill her if they found her to be enough of an inconvenience. Of course, Herman wouldn’t know this. He couldn’t. The same inhuman creatures thought it was completely acceptable to kill him too if he managed to get in their way or learn a bit too much. He probably thought she still had that trauma of whatever had supposedly happened to her family. She’d never been especially specific about what the accident had been, and it worked well enough. Leaving things to the imagination probably worked best.

When they arrived to Herman’s mansion, she was actually quite awed. She knew he was rich due to their fancy wedding, but it was still surprising to see such a lovely home as that. It was a large, bright mansion surrounded by gardens. She had never before been to such a fancy home. She almost felt out of place, even. She was still wearing the fairly simple clothes she took to work (aside from the lovely dress, she didn’t own much more than a few simple work outfits) and it almost seemed improper for her to enter such an elegant place dressed like that. She felt even less worthy of it when she saw Lily coming out to meet them. She was wearing a lovely and formal lavender dress.

“Welcome, welcome!” she called as Herman opened the door of the car for Alice. “Please, make yourself at home.”

“Well, Alice, welcome to our humble home,” Herman said in a proud voice, looking at the house.

“Thank you. It’s lovely,” Alice replied.

“Come in, please!” Lily exclaimed, ushering them both in.

Alice knew that she had to be observant because Envy had told her to be. Even if he hadn’t told her anything, though, she could hardly help looking at everything with interest. Herman and Lily had wonderful taste in decoration, and the house had all sorts of decorations: porcelain figures in ornate shelves, tapestries, luxurious rugs, and so much more. She doubted this decoration could really be the work of the young man’s time and thought it more likely that he’d inherited the place from his family. All this had to have been the work of several generations. She was quickly led to the dining room, which definitely seemed to be some kind of antique: it was very ornate and the chair cushions had a slightly frayed look to them that spoke of many long years of use. As she sat at the table, she felt smaller and more insignificant than even Envy made her feel. She felt like some kind of beggar going inside a castle for charity.

“I’m so glad you could join us, Alice. Really, thank you,” Lily said. Her tone was almost grand, and it wasn’t helping Alice feel any better. “Herman told you why I invited you here, right?”

“He said you would like to talk to me, yes.”

“That’s right, dear. But it’s a bit more than just talk. You know that I don’t really trust most people, do you?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been told why, right?”

“Well… I’ve been told it’s got everything to do with love. You don’t trust people who don’t live a life of it.”

“Yes. You see, dear, love is a very powerful thing. You know about the Law of Equivalent Exchange?”

“I’ve been told a bit about it.”

“The law states that to gain something, you must give something of equal value. The world works like that, you see. You give something, and you gain something in return. Never more than what you put into it, of course. That’s just how it works. Even in things like studying, you put time and effort and you get results. You put in work, and you get paid. That’s it. But not everything obeys that law, you see. Some things actually work differently. Love is such a thing. You take a person and another person and add love and you don’t get two people with love. You get a home. It’s the same when you get two people consummating their union… without love all you get is two people and their offspring. Basically, when you add love to the mix, you get something that’s greater than the sum of its parts. Does this make sense dear?”

Alice nodded politely. She remembered what she’d told Envy about no longer believing in that kind of thing. She didn’t believe in it now. What Lily was saying sounded like a terribly naive way of seeing things. If Lily knew this, though, everything would be over. As long as she could continue to fool her, everything should be fine.

“That’s great! So, you see, love is very important. It’s not like it goes against nature. It’s not a law of nature, really. It’s a law of the spirit. And it works in all people, and it makes people better. No one who lives a life of love can really be a bad sort of person, see, because that’d affect their loved ones, and no one would want to do that, right? They can only be good people.”

“Oh, of course,” Alice said with another nod.

She could only assume that the Homunculi lived a life of love towards their father. After all, they obeyed him without question and dedicated their entire lives to him. She wasn’t sure he loved them back very much, especially with things like his forcing Envy to date her. He’d been as against it as she was, if not more, but he’d done so anyways, only because his father had told him to. That was love, right there, or at least the closest thing that they had to it, and yet she couldn’t really call Envy a generally-good person. He could be nice, but that was not the same as being a good person.

“I’m so glad you agree! And you must understand, since you’ve found love. Hasn’t that changed your life?”

“Oh yes! It really has. It’s changed everything for me, even my outlook on life,” Alice replied with a smile.

That part, at least, was perfectly true. She didn’t really have to say how her life had been changed. It hadn’t exactly been a positive change. Whether her previous life was true or not, she definitely couldn’t remember being terrified most of the time, and she remembered life being easy and happy. Or she thought she did, anyway. Now, though? There was Envy and his delight in hurting her. There was the mission, too. And that was it.

Dinner was served very soon, and it was every bit as luxurious as the house. The servings were not huge, but the dishes were so fancy as to be alien. Alice certainly had no idea what she was eating and she wasn’t up to feeling like an idiot by asking. Everything was great, though. When they were done, Lily turned to her.

“I hope everything was to your liking?”

“Oh yes! It was all delicious!”

“My dearest Lily is a wonderful cook. I have hired chefs to aid her, but she is the one that really does the magic,” Herman said.

“It’s really wonderful, ma’am,” Alice nodded.

In truth, she preferred Envy’s cooking to Lily’s, simply because it was less alien. She liked fancy food, but she preferred to actually know what she was eating. Lily might be feeding her unicorn soup and dragon soufflé and she’d be none the wiser. At least she knew she was eating cows, chickens and fishes when Envy cooked. Lust and their father were even better cooks and they also made their dishes recognizable.

“Well, dear, it’s time to get to business. I will share with you all my knowledge about love.”

Alice nodded again. She was almost as eager to do this as she was to jab Envy’s strange red nodes with a fork. Still, she followed Lily to the living room. Whatever she had in store couldn’t be any worse than what she’d already gone through.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So I have no idea what to do. This is your specialty, not mine,” Envy said to Lust after he’d explained to her about his conversation with Alice regarding the exchange negotiation.

“You… really did offer her sex?”

“Well, humans like that!” Envy said, throwing up his hands defensively. “I was supposed to offer her a few good things as examples, right?”

“And what if she’d said yes? Were you prepared to follow up on that?”

“No.”

“Then why would you do a thing like that?”

“She’d never agree to that! It still made her cringe, though, it was great!”

“I almost wish she’d said yes, just to see you pay for that carelessness,” Lust sighed.

“I’d kill her though. I told her I’d break all her bones, and she was smart enough to say she wanted something else,” Envy grinned, then sighed. “Except she has no idea what she could want, and she’s pathetic and I don’t think she’ll actually manage to come up with any ideas. And Father was adamant that I should give something to her to ensure her cooperation. I don’t even get why I should give her anything or even be doing this, really.”

“Didn’t Father tell you to do that? I can’t say I find it great that you managed to get into this rather terrible situation, having to marry that girl, but Father says it’s the wisest course of action.”

“Yeah, but Father had also given me control over this mission, and I’m not okay with one slip-up leading to this. Or two, really. Things could have been handled differently.”

“Father would still stop you from doing something to endanger the mission. And with people like the ones you’re dealing with… it would be dangerous not to go with this. Why would you even care, anyway? You said you don’t care for your human pet. And these human social things are meaningless to you. What’s your problem, then?”

“It’s a human. I never wanted this. It’s really not the kind of thing Father would normally even approve of.”

“Not like it matters,” Lust shrugged. “Honestly, Father doesn’t really care what we do with our personal lives so long as we do our jobs. Look at Wrath. Of course sometimes our personal lives need to be altered for the plan, like Pride’s. You’re just next with that.”

“How are the preparations, anyways?”

“We’ll give you both a small, simple ceremony. It’s not like you’ve really come across as rich enough to have much more than that. Then there will be a dinner at a somewhat fancy place and that’s it. Wrath was taking care of the ceremony and the paperwork. He’s surely almost done now, since he’s very efficient. I’m still looking for a good place for the dinner.”

“Sounds tolerable, at least. I wouldn’t want something fancy like what that Herman person did, anyways. Now I just need to deal with the exchange with the girl. But really… I’ve no idea what to even do.”

“Well, it needs to be equivalent, right?” Lust asked.

“Yep. Please tell me you have an idea.”

“I might. How about just offering what humans offer with such a thing? A married life.”

Envy took a few seconds to be able to respond, giving Lust somewhat of a dismayed look.

“Lust… didn’t you just say that’s a terrible idea? Besides, as much as I might love to think of breaking her into little pieces, Father would be furious if I actually left her in too many pieces and she died on us or something.”

“You don’t really need to offer things that are so difficult for you. There’s other things in such a life anyway. There’s living together, sharing a home, and there’s other activities in which you don’t need to completely lose control and you wouldn’t break her.”

Envy groaned. He knew what Lust meant, even if he didn’t especially like to talk about it.

“This whole idea is meant to get to our goals while ensuring the best possible level of cooperation from our pawn, not to torture me!” Envy complained.

“Maybe you should’ve kept a better leash on your pet,” Lust shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like you’re completely incapable of providing that.”

“No, but unlike you, I can’t stand it. I’m feeling sick just thinking of it.”

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

“How about I give her all that… except for the disgusting parts? I can give her a better room. One with a bath, since she seems to love that. It doesn’t have to be a shared room, does it?”

“Technically, yes, if the point is to give her an equivalent exchange. Didn’t you say that she considers marriage a really big deal? Then give her that. It will ensure she feels indebted enough to cooperate without you having to spend much energy coercing her to work for you.”

“Yeah, see, that’d work if things were a bit more conventional, but, really, they’re not, and it’s not like she’s fooling herself into thinking they are, either. Some adjustments would be necessary anyways. But I guess we could fine-tune those as we go.”

“The point is, you have to give something that she feels is quite great for her to really give us her best effort.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll just go and ask her what she’d even expect. Maybe that will be easier for her pathetic brain to understand.”

“There’s just one thing.”

“Huh?”

“You have to give her a wedding night she’d never forget.”

Envy froze.

“Wait… WHAT?!”

“It’s customary,” Lust shrugged. “Besides, if you can do that, you’re probably going to have to put in less of an effort afterwards. Humans expect something grand on the day of their wedding, and that night, too.”

Envy gave a loud groan at that. While he wasn’t entirely sure about what exactly would be expected that night, he had a pretty good general idea of what it might entail. This stupid brat had completely screwed him over with these slip-ups. He was THIS close to just snapping and breaking her into a million pieces, but he just couldn’t. Being so close to what they needed and messing it up would really infuriate Father. He didn’t want to deal with that. He’d rather just go through with this plan, to its last consequences. Even that was better than Father’s wrath. This wasn’t just due to the fact that Father was intimidating when angry, really. The thought of disappointing Father like that made him very anxious. It was just in his nature.

On the subject of the plan, though, how long had it been since the brat had been sent to Lily and Herman’s house? He’d have to go and pick her up soon. He wondered what it was that Lily was going to tell her. If it wasn’t something useful, he was going to be very upset. His greatest worry, though, was Alice. While this was a decidedly dangerous mission, his main worry was actually that since she was left to her own devices, she could say something stupid again… and screw him over some more. While he wasn’t entirely sure how much WORSE things could get, he was pretty sure he definitely didn’t want to find out.

“Lust!” came Gluttony’s voice as the rotund Homunculus walked over, still chewing… some kind of bone.

“What is it, Gluttony?”

“Is it true? Envy’s getting married?”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“Oooh! Will there be cake? And yummy food?”

One had to love Gluttony’s unchanging priorities.

“Yes, there will be.”

“Can I go?”

“Maybe. But don’t worry, even if you have to stay behind, I’ll bring you lots of food!”

“Oooh, great! That will be so yummy!” Gluttony said and then turned to Envy. “You’re getting married! That’s really great! Grats, Envy! Are you really happy? Wrath was happy!”

“I’m not Wrath,” Envy replied. “It’s just a job, that’s all.”

“A job? Are there yummy people to eat?”

“No,” Envy said. Seriously, was that the ONLY thing Gluttony could think of?

Apparently it was, since Gluttony just looked sad and dejected and said nothing more. He just sat hunched near Lust. Soon afterward, Lust sat on his back.

“You should probably leave soon to pick up your fiancée,” Lust said. “Let’s hope that she learned something useful.”

“She better have. But in the end, she still has a few more sessions to go. I almost feel that Lily’s trying to analyze her in detail. It kind of worries me, really.”

“Why?”

“Because in the end, this is mostly just a charade. If Lily picks up on it, everything is lost. And we only have a few years until the Promised Day. If we don’t find out what Lily’s hiding before then… it could wreck everything we’ve worked on so hard.”

“Yes, that’s true. Hopefully, Lily just turns out to be some kind of false alarm, though. That would be the best outcome.”

“If she does, it’ll make me feel as though I just wasted all these years.”

“It wouldn’t be a waste. It would be important prevention.”

Well, yeah, that was an optimistic way of looking at it. He just shrugged. It would feel like a waste of time anyway, no matter if that was true. If all this he was doing was for nothing… well, he did have a handy punching bag of sorts to vent all that anger on…

“Whatever. I’ll go get the brat.”

“Very well. I’ll continue working on the preparations for your wedding.”

He gave a derisive snort. Yeah, let her continue on that. He wasn’t going to touch that with a ten-foot pole unless he absolutely had to. He probably would be asked to look over the list of invited people and to give the okay for several of the decisions Lust would make. He’d probably just nod and let her do whatever she wanted. Well, he’d have to pick a best man. Long ago, he would have picked Greed. Annoying as Greed could be, there had been a time when he would have been able to call him a brother. He was very, very bitter about the fact that he’d betrayed them all. Maybe he’d just pick Wrath. He certainly couldn’t even think to pick Gluttony or Sloth. And it wasn’t like he knew anyone else anywhere near enough. He’d seen people at Central Headquarters and he was acquainted with some scientists, but there really was no one he could actually ask for a thing like that. It was almost depressing. Then again, he was a Homunculus. He didn’t really need any of that. He’d just ask Wrath. With a sigh and a frown, he donned his Evan disguise and headed out to the car that he sometimes used. Putting aside his other thoughts, he drove towards Herman’s house.


	22. Edge of the Precipice

## Chapter 22 - Edge of the Precipice

It was a fairly long drive and his thoughts and misgivings about the whole marriage situation kept trying to surface in his mind. Good as he was at keeping a lot of his inner feelings at bay (well, even he had to admit he had a bit of an anger management problem, but, well, it was just that minor issue), this was a new situation. He hadn’t had time to adjust to it and to process it fully. That said, he continued to do his best to put all those thoughts to the back of his mind. Really, they should be the least of his worries. All this wouldn’t last more than a few years anyways. And compared to his lifespan, how significant was it, really?

He’d managed to finally subdue those rogue thoughts of his by the time he arrived at Herman’s house. A butler walked out and told him to wait, which he did. It was a bit of time before he came back with Alice. She was smiling and she waved at Lily and Herman. There was the slightest stiffness to her movements. It was easy to miss it or to think it had to do with her slight limp when she felt more ill than usual. Strange. She’d seemed just fine that morning. Sitting down long enough usually made her limp for a while, but still, that was strange. He watched her very carefully. As she left the house, completely turning away from everyone in there, her face tensed too. It was the kind of tension he’d noticed she got when she was trying to keep herself composed about something and was doing a very bad job of it. He was starting to get very curious about this.

When she got into the car, she said nothing, staying fairly stiff for a while until they drove away. Then she kind of slumped a bit, still silent. He took a quick glance at her, since he had to keep his attention on the street. She seemed very tense, almost scared, and confused. That was certainly not the kind of expression he was expecting her to have. He wondered if his hunch about this mission being dangerous for the brat had been correct.

“So… how did it go?” he asked.

“Can… we talk about that at home?” she answered in a meeker voice than usual.

Envy was outright troubled now. This was quite unlike her. He gave her a quick nod and stayed silent. It was probably best to just let her process whatever she’d seen and heard. She was alive and seemed unharmed. If there was danger, she’d avoided its effects for now. Pushing her to speak was most likely to be detrimental. Still, he wasn’t going to let her weasel her way out of it. He’d take her to his room. He held more power there. He had to discuss the whole equivalent exchange thing with her too, and he wanted to be the one that had dominance in that negotiation. If she was spooked enough, he might take advantage of that for that effect. If she was far too spooked, though, it might be best to wait till the next day, even if he lost the benefit of the setting. He’d have to wait and see.

She didn’t offer him any resistance as he led her to his room. After they’d both sat down, he waited for her to start the conversation. He wasn’t in too much of a hurry, at least. If she started on the topic right away, he’d get his curiosity satisfied. If she didn’t, he’d still get time enough to study her expressions. It was quite useful to know her very well so that he could manipulate her better. She didn’t speak for a few minutes, and he just patiently waited.

“Okay… I’m ready to talk now,” she said.

“So go ahead.”

“It was really normal at first,” she said. “We had dinner.”

He nodded. That certainly wasn’t an especially encouraging word choice. He didn’t say anything, though, letting her continue.

“It was really all fancy, though. I didn’t even know what it was that I was eating. That’s when she told me to go and talk to her. That started out normal too.”

There went that word again. She started to look uncomfortable. He watched her carefully, keeping his gaze calm so as not to unnerve her any more than she already was. She had this dreadful habit of stammering and barely being able to speak coherently when she was spooked enough. It certainly was amusing to watch, but right now he needed her to speak up.

“Well, we went to the living room,” she continued. “There was this… incense burning. And it was so sweet and I don’t know why, but it made me feel… terrified. I mean, it didn’t cause me fear directly. But it made me feel things that scared me.”

He wished she would just get to the point, but she seemed to be having some trouble getting the thoughts into words.

“It was like my feelings were all… amplified,” she said after a bit. “I felt so… miserable. And then we just began to talk. It was hard because of how I felt, but she did most of the talking. But then, she asked me again if I loved you.” She was outright struggling to talk now. “And… at that moment… I did. I don’t know how or why, but… I did. And that scares me. No, it terrifies me!”

Well... he could definitely not blame her for being so spooked. It terrified him too. Positive feelings were to be expected from his treatment of her. It was part of why he did it. But love? What had that love freak done to this brat?

“I had this sudden urge to find you and hug you and kiss you and-”

“You can stop right there,” Envy interrupted. “I got your point.”

He was going to have nightmares tonight, he just knew it.

“My point is that it was really unnatural,” Alice said. “It was all these things I don’t feel and suddenly I did.”

“Are you sure? You said this thing just amplified you feelings, not that it gave you entirely new ones,” Envy said simply.

It was a disturbing thought even for him, but it was totally worth it to see her extremely shocked, uncomfortable and distressed reaction. He gave a bit of a smile.

“No! It’s not like that! It’s just a general feeling, it’s not like I think like that at all! I wasn’t even going to say anything more, I don’t know what you’re thinking!” she stammered. She was so flustered that her face was flushed.

“Don’t dig your grave any deeper than it already is,” Envy said. “Just keep talking about the whole thing with Lily. What else happened?”

“Y… yes. Okay… mostly she was just sharing her philosophy on love. She has some seriously weird thoughts on it. If I knew alchemy I might understand a bit more. She kept saying that love is a kind of alchemy, a force that destroys sorrow and pain. She almost spoke of it like… it’s a physical thing. Not, you know, like an important, abstract concept. More like if she had some… kind of source. Like you could put it in a test tube. She’d refer to measuring a drop or an ounce of love and weird things like that. Or maybe it just felt that way because of the unnatural feelings I was getting from the air.”

As he listened to her report, his face became more and more serious. Destroying sorrow? Measuring love? Was this lady crazy? The whole destruction thing didn’t give him any good feelings, and not just because of how much he enjoyed causing sorrow and pain. There was something about that which made him feel uneasy, especially with what he’d learned of her and her father. He couldn’t quite pin it, but he felt something akin to dread.

“Well. This is interesting,” he said after a moment, frowning. “You say you didn’t feel quite like yourself, but is there any lapse in your memory? Could you have told her anything suspicious?”

“No. I remember everything clearly. I mean, I had unnaturally strong feelings, but that was it. I was perfectly aware of what I was doing and saying.”

“Good.”

That was one less complication. Yet, he did not find that it put his mind at ease. He’d had the feeling before that the mission was dangerous. Now he was pretty sure. That brat better not get herself killed or otherwise hurt. It would be a waste of a perfectly good resource… and so close to the goal, too!

“That’s… basically it. I… really don’t want to do this anymore. Can I just… not go back there?”

He turned back to her. She definitely did seem upset, though more disturbed than scared. This whole thing messing with her feelings was probably pretty terrifying for her. But, really, why should she even be scared of it? He did it all the time! She should be used to it already!

“We need you to keep doing that, so no, you can’t stop going,” he said.

She gave him an extremely dismayed look and rested her head on her hands. She seemed ready to shut down mentally. He sighed. If he wanted her to cooperate, he would have to yield… at least slightly. He needed to talk to her about the equivalent exchange. He might even be able to use this situation to his advantage, too. If he was “kind” enough to yield a bit, she would be more likely to be cooperative.

“Well… I’ll tell you what. Our wedding is coming up. You can just say you’re busy for like two weeks before that. It would give you a break from that.”

“Really?” she said, looking up.

“Yup. You deserve a break. You’ve done well.”

He’d succeeded. He could tell by her expression, which seemed so full of gratitude, that one would think she’d been given an incredibly generous gift. No doubt she saw it that way. She owned nothing but a few clothes, a few pairs of shoes, a cane and two rings. Oh, and a vase he’d given her to put flowers in. He never actually let her choose much of anything, and even basic things like food and whatnot were only given through his supervision. With such few luxuries, of course she’d feel that way. It was very convenient, especially now that he didn’t want her asking for too much. This was the perfect time to bring up the subject.

“Of course, speaking of the upcoming wedding… have you decided yet what you’ll be wanting from me in the equivalent exchange?” he asked.

“Um... no.”

Of course she hadn’t. He’d known it only too well.

“Well… if I understood you right, marriage is a big deal for you, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I take it that you really wanted one, if it is so important to you. I would guess it was one of those life goals you used to have.”

“Yeah. I actually did hope I’d get married someday.”

“Well, I have a proposal for you. You want a marriage, I’ll give you one. So what do you expect from it? And don’t give me a sappy answer like ‘love’ or that kind of emotional thing. Give me something concrete. I’m not asking you to love me or have any feelings at all for me. I’m just asking you to sign some papers. Those papers might mean a lot to you, but it’s still just a concrete action.”

She looked at him with surprise… and more gratitude. That was exactly the kind of mood he wanted her in, definitely.

“I… well… wow, you’d do that?”

“Yep. Equivalent exchange, remember?”

“Well… marriage usually has people living together and sharing things… you know, as equals. You know… a nice home, with nice things… and…”

“So… you want a home with nice things? And to share them?”

“I think that’s realistically all I could truly expect from you, yeah. I mean, yeah, there’s other things one could expect from another kind of marriage, but they’re meaningless without the abstract stuff anyways.”

And she obviously didn’t want to get crushed to death, either.

“Alright. So, how about you stop living in a prison cell? You can come and live here in this room with me. That counts as sharing, right? And since it’s a proper room, it’s a home. And besides, you’d get free access to the bath, including all those fancy soaps and salts you like. I would even take you shopping so you get to choose new ones.That’s my initial offer. We can make some adjustments later.”

He’d be damned if he actually let the brat live with him permanently. He had to discuss it with the others, but the ideal solution would just be to toss her into Greed’s old room. That was right next to his anyways, and if sharing was really so important, they could just make a door between the two rooms. But he knew Alice was mostly going to focus on the one luxury she most associated with his room, which he’d taken care to mention with some emphasis.

“Okay. I’ll take that. A married life… as would be expected with you.”

He was barely giving her anything, and just because he said he was, she took the bait. Perfect! She had not even tried to so much as negotiate. She’d let him make the decision for her, even though she most likely felt as though she’d had a choice in the matter. That thought made him happy. However, he kept himself from smiling. If he smiled too much, she’d get suspicious, and actually start thinking, and then she might pick up on the fact that she had, once more, just gone with his decision. Despite being so broken that, for the most part, she was resigned to whatever he chose for her, she’d once been a very strong person, and slivers of that still remained. Sometimes she’d resist him. He was surprisingly okay with that. After all, he needed her to be functional when she was acting alone, and if he broke her more than he already had, she was probably going to lose all her ability to actually act.

“Very well, then. We have a deal,” he said, stretching his hand towards her. She took it hesitantly and he gave her a firm, but gentle (he had to be gentle or he’d break her) handshake. That made it seem more official. She’d be less likely to give him trouble about it in the future.

All in all, the day had been a complete success. He’d managed to make the whole marriage deal as painless as possible for himself, and he’d gotten new information on Lily. The feeling of dread he’d gotten from Alice’s report did not lessen, however.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The part Alice had disliked the most about the situation was that the very next day it was a weekend. She had way too much time to think. That incense was what caused her strange feelings, she was sure of it. She felt as though that scent had invaded her mind. She’d been feeling perfectly normal until then. The things she’d felt were more than a little terrifying, really. It made her think about what Envy’d told her about memories and souls and how they could be manipulated. There definitely was truth to that statement. And, since she had to spend most of her time alone, there were few distractions to keep her thoughts away from these frightening reflections and their implications. It was one of those times when she would much rather spend the whole day with Envy.

And yet he seemed to be fairly busy that day. He’d asked her the names of the people she wanted to invite. She’d given him a few names, including Vincent’s. Envy’s pupils narrowed to tiny slits but he’d said nothing then. She supposed he was going to do or say something nasty later on. Still, even though she talked less to Vincent since he’d implied that “Evan” might have hurt her, he was still a friend and she still wanted him invited. She knew it might cost her a bruise or two, but she was not going to act completely out of character and not invite him while inviting a few people she was a bit less friendly with. Envy was just going to have to deal with it. It wasn’t like she’d even have time that day to properly interact with him or anyone else. She was more likely to be dreading that night and, well, the start of the rest of her life here.

Marriage. Sharing a life with her jailer… or at least more of it than she’d shared to this point. There were benefits to this. Even if she was still a prisoner, she was getting a bit more status. She was not going to be kept in a prison cell. She was going to be kept in actual living quarters. She supposed that would make her more Envy’s pet than she’d been to this point, but it was better, in a way. It was lonely inside the prison cell. And, of course, there was the matter of the baths. She guessed it was only because he had such a short temper and seemed angry so often, but Envy had a wonderful collection of sweet-smelling and relaxing soaps. She was often so stressed out, that she loved those soaps. Getting daily access to those was going to be such a wonderful thing. It was worth whatever else he might have in store.

The next day, he was less busy and spent more time with her. She was no longer entirely sure she wanted his company. He was in a foul mood for the most part, which led Alice to mostly stay quiet lest she provoked his temper. He seemed to be observing her a fair amount, which scared her, since he usually did that when he was looking for some opening to be horrible. She was still rather affected by what had happened at Lily and Herman’s place, so the last thing she needed was Envy adding to her troubles. He was seemingly enjoying making her uncomfortable by merely staring at her with piercing eyes, and it was only until lunch that he actually spoke to her.

“This whole wedding business is so troublesome. I didn’t know they were so complicated. When Wrath got married, other people did the preparations. It was a big thing, but we didn’t actually do any of the work for it,” he said. “This is a small event and only a few of us can do everything, and it’s really annoying.”

“I could help too, but you never let me do much of anything,” Alice said.

“Actually, there’s something I need you to do.”

“Really? What is it?” Alice said. She sounded a bit eager, and she was. Getting to do something was great, even if it was for that fateful wedding.

“Pride insists that I can’t see you in your wedding dress until the day of the event. It’s stupid, but that means I can’t go and buy it for you. You’ll have to go.”

“Well, yeah, it’s supposedly bad luck if you see that before the wedding.”

“It’s stupid superstition and I don’t believe in it, but Pride thinks it’s amusing to do things the ‘right’ way. So you’re going to have to go with Lust and pick something to wear.”

“Why would Pride care if you do things right or wrong?”

“Because he says that it ruins the experience if I don’t. And since it’s an equivalent exchange…”

“Oh, I see. Well, I think it’s great that I get to choose my own dress!”

“Your feelings don’t matter!” Envy snapped. “What matters is what’s convenient. Thankfully, Lust is willing to help out here. So you’re going with her. Right now. Or, well, as soon as you finish eating. Though if you take too long, I’ll just send you off anyways.”

She nodded. She was a bit hurt by how he’d said that her feelings didn’t matter, but in the end, hadn’t that always been the case? He had even said his own feelings didn’t matter, and if his were that unimportant, well, hers were even less so. At least she could look forward to making the first choice of any real importance she’d taken for a very long time. She’d get to pick her own wedding dress. That actually made her kind of happy.

She ate somewhat quickly and Envy took her to his room, where she waited while he found Lust and brought her there. Then she followed Lust out to the city. Lust was a bit more considerate of Alice’s slower walking, and kept her pace slow enough so that Alice didn’t have to work too hard to keep up.

“By the way, child,” Lust said as they began to walk in the streets. “Just as Envy has an alias, I have one too. Call me Solaris.”

“Alright. Solaris.”

Lust nodded and led her away. They went to several stores with all sorts of wedding dresses. Alice liked some of the fancier ones, but Lust refused to even let her try those.

“You’re a simple country girl and the ceremony is going to be small and just as simple. You can’t have a fancy dress like that. It wouldn’t be fitting.”

She had a point. She would love a fancy kind of dress, but if the event was going to be simple and small, well, she better not look out of place. In the end, it took them hours, but Lust settled for getting Alice a simple off-white dress with some lace and a discreet light gold floral pattern. Alice rather liked it, and had actually given the last word on whether or not to get it. She was quite happy. In fact, it actually was the only thing about the whole affair that actually made her happy. Everything else was, at best, a consolation prize.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That weekend, Lust also had the invitations ready. Alice was tasked with delivering them. She had very little trouble doing so, really, since her work required her to go all over Headquarters. She would have waited until lunch, but she wasn’t going to invite everyone at the table and she thought it would be rude to give the invitations then. She had no trouble getting a bit of free time to do that. There was Melissa, and there was Susie, and there was Jonathan, and several others. And, of course, there was Herman and Lily. And finally, there was Vincent. He was the last one she gave the invitation to, mostly because she was pretty nervous about it. She was honestly shocked that Envy had allowed her to invite Vincent, and, well, she wasn’t sure how to talk to him. After he’d implied that Evan might abuse her, she’d been colder to him. They still talked, but less so. She hadn’t even given him a chance to apologize, since she had not talked to him outside of lunch time, and he wasn’t going to be awkward about it and apologize in front of everyone.

“I’m sorry it’s relatively on short notice, but… here,” Alice said, handing him the invitation.

“An invitation?”

“Yes. For my wedding with Evan.”

“Oh,” Vincent said. “Thanks, Alice.’

Alice wondered if she was imagining it or if there actually was a bit of disappointment in Vincent’s face. She decided that she was imagining it. Yes. It must be wishful thinking, since, well, she really liked him and she wished he were the one she was getting married to. But, well, she was marrying Envy. There was nothing she could do. Thinking that Vincent might have felt the same way she did was very foolish and no more than wishful thinking. Envy would surely waste no time in confirming this.

“We hope to see you there!’’  she said with a smile.

“Yeah, of course! But, um, Alice, do you mind if I ask you something? As a friend?”

“Go ahead!”

“Are you sure you’re not...diving into this a little too fast?”

She hated these kinds of questions. Why was he so worried about that?

“I’ve known Evan for years now,” she replied. “This was no rush. We’ve been close for a long time.”

“I just want to make sure. You know, I hope you’ve considered all the options.”

“Of course. Don’t worry. I’m sure I’m making the right choice.”

“Okay. That’s great. Oh, and… hey, listen. I’m sorry about the other day. It was wrong of me to say those things I did.”

“It’s alright. Just please don’t make assumptions like that again.”

“You have my word.”

Alice smiled as she headed back to work, her task finished.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So I guess all that’s left is waiting,” Envy told Lust later that night. “She’s done giving out all the invitations, you have everything ready… there’s nothing left to do now.”

He’d listened to Alice’s report earlier. She’d told him how she’d delivered all the invitations. He’d said nothing much to that, and he’d left after she was done with dinner. Tonight, he’d had dinner with his siblings. Or, well, Lust and Gluttony, anyways.

“Well, there’s nothing left to do on my end, or on Wrath’s end. But there’s one more thing.”

“Oh, great,” Envy groaned. “What is it?”

“In the ceremony, you’ll be asked to say some vows. So will she. You both have to write them.”

“Vows? Vows for what?”

“Love vows, I suppose,” Lust shrugged.

“Love!” Gluttony repeated with a small cackle.

“But I don’t even know what even goes in those things!” Envy exclaimed, ignoring Gluttony.

“Well, look it up. Mostly it’s about how much you love your future wife and how much she changed your life and all the love promises you make.”

Envy was giving Lust a look of dismay and disgust. Love promises? This was beyond disgusting. It was outright humiliating.

“Don’t look at me that way,” she said. “You have to. All the people who will be there will be expecting something romantic.”

“So… basically, I have to write something stupidly sappy.”

“Yes, pretty much that. I can help you if you need me to.”

“I’ll write them. Then you can read them and give them your approval or something,” Envy said.

“Don’t forget to tell the girl. She needs to get them done before the ceremony too.”

“I might as well do that now. I’ll just wake her up if she’s asleep,” Envy said.

It was a completely pointless thing to go and tell her about this now. He could easily wait until the morning. However, he was upset, and when he was upset, one thing was almost guaranteed to make him feel better. He’d love to watch Alice jump after he startled her to wake her up. He made a detour to an old lab to take some dusty paper and a forgotten pencil. She would need something to write on, after all. So would he, for that matter. He grabbed a second pencil. Afterwards, he headed to Alice’s prison cell.

She was asleep already. How did she manage to sleep so much all the time? He knew she was ill, but it seemed excessive either way. He walked over towards her. She didn’t stir.

“HEY!” he practically barked at her, giving her a sharp poke on the shoulder.

She did jump. She even yelped. Envy smiled a bit. He could always count on her discomfort to cheer him up.

“Wh… what? Is it morning already?!” she managed to say, rather groggy.

“No, but I have a task for you.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I’ve just been informed that people are supposed to say vows in a wedding ceremony.”

“Oh,” she said. And then the realization seemed to hit her and she seemed utterly dismayed. “Oh! Oh, no!”

He felt pretty much the same way. Of course, he was just standing there with his hands on his hips, and an impatient frown.

“Oh yes,” he said. “See? This is the kind of horrible thing your stupidity leads to. Now I have to write romantic vows about you and you’ve got to write romantic vows about me and they BETTER be romantic, you hear? They better be so romantic it makes humans cry.”

“But I’m no good at romance!” she protested.

“What, and you think I AM?!” Envy snapped. “I’m disgusted by romance! You, at least, had your silly naive ideals about it, but me? It all makes me sick to my stomach!”

“Alright… I’ll have them ready. But… how am I going to know if they’re any good? Are you going to decide that?”

“I’m going to have to hear them during the wedding and somehow keep myself from throwing up in disgust. I’m not going to read them BEFORE that too! No, no. Tell me when you’re done and I’ll ask Lust to check them for you.”

“Yes, sir.”

With that, he left her half of the sheets of paper he’d gotten and one of the pencils and left. He knew exactly what he was going to do for his vows… even though it certainly did make him feel nauseated.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time seemed to pass in a blur for Alice. Her mind kept wandering towards the imminent wedding, and she was terrified, which, among other things, made her very distracted with her thoughts. She felt as though she were standing on the edge of some high, rocky beach, with someone behind her, ready to push her down. It would soon be time to go back to Lily’s; this was the last time before the wedding. She wasn’t even sure how she’d gotten to that day. It had almost seemed like she’d blinked and suddenly she was in the future or something like that. She only had a vague notion of having gone through the previous days. She was sure she’d still feel as though she was moving through a haze if only she weren’t so scared and nervous about the visit with Lily. That said, the constant dread, in addition with her usual worries, turned out to be extremely draining. She didn’t even look nervous when Herman was driving her to his and Lily’s home.

“Hey, you alright? You seem rather distracted,” he said a while later.

“Yeah. I’m just worried about the upcoming wedding. Everything must be perfect, you know?”

“Oh, of course. I can understand that. I was pretty distracted myself before my wedding! But, let me tell you, things usually do end up perfect.”

“Yeah, but I still worry.”

“It’s definitely natural!” he said, obviously trying to reassure her.

It didn’t actually work too well, but she still managed to smile and look calm enough so that Herman would stop worrying. Once they arrived at the mansion, she was once more invited to an exotic dinner. She was pretty sure dragons didn’t exist but she was somehow certain that they had somehow managed to serve it at the table. It was just not possible that this dish was made from cows or other mundane animals. And finally, it was time for the talk. She headed into the living room with Lily, who went to the fireplace to begin burning the sweet incense that she had put on the mantlepiece. Almost immediately, as the sweet scent began to fill her nostrils, she started to feel strange. Her feelings once more felt amplified, and this time, the effect was stronger. She even felt slightly less miserable than before.

“With your upcoming wedding, we have many important things to discuss,” Lily said.

“Of course. But what will we be talking about today?”

“Why how to please your husband-to-be, of course!”

Contrary to popular belief, embarrassment is not the only reason people blush, though Alice was glad for the stereotype. Lily smiled, obviously thinking it was due to being so shy, that the topic embarrassed her. But in reality, Alice was blushing from sheer shock and horror.

“It is a very important topic, even though people tend to feel a bit embarrassed about it. But so many young ladies are sent into this whole new world blind and it only ever causes unnecessary stress. It would be a disservice not to prepare you,” Lily said.

While Lily obviously had a point for normal marriages, the whole thing was just plain disturbing in Alice’s case. Still, she listened to Lily in a sort of horrified trance. It didn’t help that her altered feelings were making her think that so much of this would be a great idea to put into practice.

In her desperate attempt to try to distract herself a bit from her treacherous thoughts, she focused a bit on  her surroundings. Her eyes wandered to the incense holder from which the noxiously sweet smoke emanated. It was a glass cylinder, with a conical depression on the top, which was where the incense was put. She had thought that the cylinder was solid, and that the purple, clear color that seemed to be collected around the bottom of the conical depression, inside the cylinder, was plain pigment. Now she could see she had been wrong as there was more purple stuff collected there. Before her eyes, it condensed itself and a single drop of what seemed to be a thick, almost glowing liquid dripped to the bottom of the cylinder. She quickly turned away so as not to make it too evident that she was looking at that. After all, she didn’t know what it was and Lily hadn’t told her anything about it. Therefore, she probably wasn’t supposed to know about it. At any rate, it was definitely something interesting to include in her report later.

It seemed like forever until the time was up and “Evan” picked her up. She felt like running to him and hugging him due to her immense relief at the conversation being over. She resisted that temptation, though, knowing that it not only would likely seem weird to Herman and Lily, but it was certainly not going to be a gesture Envy would welcome. At all. As she walked towards the car, though, she remembered something.

“Oh! I almost forgot. I’m so sorry, but with the wedding coming up, I am going to be really, really busy. Could we please resume this after the wedding passes?” she asked Lily.

“Oh, dear, of course! I can definitely understand. There’s so many details to take care of! You and Evan enjoy that process, and enjoy your time as newlyweds. We can keep talking after you’ve had time to adjust to your new life. Only if you want to, of course!”

“Oh, yes, I’d love to!” Alice lied.

“That’s great, dear! Take care now!”

“You too!”

With that, she finally went to the car, feeling as though a huge weight was lifted off  of her shoulders. She could seriously use a break from this awful situation, even if that meant  that the only thing she’d have to focus on was the impending wedding. She noticed Envy was looking at her very carefully. She had to, once more, resist the temptation of running towards him and hugging him. She was somewhat disturbed by how strong that urge was.

“Well. That went worse than last time, it seems,” Envy said after they’d driven away a bit.

“Please, let’s just talk about it later,” Alice sighed.

She didn’t want him to be disturbed or otherwise distracted while he was driving, and she had to properly process everything anyways and make sure she remembered all the details.

“Sure, whatever.”

He took her to his room again. She sat down on the couch at his behest. He sat on the other side of the couch, as far as he could from her and just waited for her to talk.

“You’re right, this was worse than the last time,” she said.

“Well, go ahead and tell me about it.”

“Well, we had dinner again, and then we went to the living room. The incense was there again, and this time I think the effects were stronger.”

“Stronger effects or have your feelings having just changed?” he asked, giving her a sharp, almost wary glare.

“Stronger effects, definitely.”

“So what did you talk about this time?”

“You really don’t want to know. It wasn’t anything important, anyways.”

“I kind of have to know. It’s a necessary part of the report.”

“Trust me. You really, really don’t want to know.”

“It’s a risk I have to take. Tell me.”

“Okay, fine. She told me all about how to please my future husband, that is… you… in all sorts of acrobatic ways.”

Envy outright winced.

“... You’re right. I didn’t want to know that. And while you were under the effects of… ugh…”

He looked almost green in the face and said nothing for a bit. She wasn’t sure what to do, so she didn’t speak either.

“Don’t stay all quiet and awkward,” he said after she had been silent long enough. “Keep talking. What else can you report?”

She remembered the strange purple liquid in the incense holder.

“Well, I didn’t really pay attention to it last time because it looked like normal decoration, but this time I did take note of the incense holder,” she said. “It had some kind of liquid in it. I was a very small amount, and it was purple and it almost seemed to glow. It was almost like it was being condensed or something in the glass. I saw it drip. It was a very thick liquid.”

Envy’s eyes had outright widened as she explained this. She didn’t think that she had ever before seen him outright scared, but that was the way he looked now.

“Glowing, you said?” he asked. He sounded nervous.

“Yes, I’m pretty sure it had a faint kind of glow. I don’t know what it was but it was strange. Thick, glowing and purple.”

He looked scared. He was obviously trying to seem calm, but he wasn’t doing a great job. She was starting to get nervous herself.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“Nothing, nothing. This is just really unexpected, that’s all,” he said. “I must talk to Father. Take a nap or something in the meantime.”

She nodded and watched him leave. Since she didn’t know how long he would take, she decided to take his suggestion. Curling up on the couch, she soon went to sleep, happy to forget, for a moment, the strange and disturbing events. She didn’t know how much later it was when Envy woke her up, but she felt as though she had slept a while. He seemed calmer, and though he shook her awake fairly roughly, she supposed she should be thankful that he had not decided to wake her by pulling her off the couch.

“Time to go. This room isn’t yours yet, y’know.”

She nodded and got up. Then she just quietly followed him to her room, wondering what Envy had discussed with his father. But the Homunculus wouldn’t tell.


	23. Oath of Perdition

## Chapter 23 - Oath of Perdition

Time usually seems to move faster when you do not want a future event to arrive. Alice found that, as much as she tried to savor the last shreds of freedom left to her in Amestris, her remaining time just slipped between her fingers. It seemed that she had just blinked and then it was the fated day. She had been woken up pretty early, this time by Lust.

“Well. Time to get ready, girl,” Lust said. “By the way, I’ve been asked to be your bridesmaid.”

“As Solaris, right?” Alice asked.

“Yes.”

“So how does this work? What does a bridesmaid do?”

“Mostly, the best man and the bridesmaid just sign the papers as witnesses. They’re the chosen witnesses for the ceremony, basically.”

“Chosen? So… does that mean I’m supposed to know you as Solaris?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I suppose I can be your neighbor. It doesn’t matter. Would people really ask about that?”

“Maybe. Sometimes they can be a bit… nosy.”

“Then I’ll just be your neighbor. You would have known me about as long as you’ve known Evan.”

That’d work. It was pretty close to the truth, actually, and the best lies always had a grain of truth in them, Alice felt. At the very least, they were easier for her to tell. She would still prefer to answer no questions about this, though. In fact, she would much rather just not go through with this whole thing.

“Alright. Say… is it too late to cancel this whole event?”

“It was too late from the moment you said to that human that you were going to be married soon,” Lust said. “I know you are unhappy about this. But if it makes you feel better, Envy is probably just as miserable about this whole thing as you are, if not more.”

She wasn’t sure if that actually made her feel any better.

“Have you finished those vows of yours?” Lust asked.

“Yes, last night,” Alice sighed.

“Good. Show them to me, then,” Lust said, holding out her hand.

Alice went to her wardrobe and took out the paper with the vows she’d finally written. She didn’t think they were all that fancy, but they’d have to do. It wasn’t like Envy was going to write anything much better anyways, she figured. These kinds of things were just not natural for him. Lust took them and read them. Alice wished she were more expressive. She had no idea what the Homunculus thought of them, and she really wanted to know.

“Well...?”

“They’ll do,” Lust replied.

“I’m curious. You saw what Envy wrote in his?”

“Yes, I did.”

“What were they like?”

“You’ll hear them later today.”

“Well, yes. But I’d just like to know beforehand what they’re like. Not all that’s said in them or anything. Just a general idea.”

“Well. I found them amusing. But I think they’ll work great for the occasion.”

Amusing? She wasn’t sure whether that was a great thing or not. She hadn’t written anything funny in hers, and it’d be out of place if he had and she hadn’t.

“Is it going to make other people laugh?” she asked in a worried tone.

“Pride and I will definitely find them amusing. Other people who don’t know him? I don’t think they’re going to be laughing.”

That was at least a relief. She did suppose it was likely to be quite an amusing thing to hear Envy say all sorts of sappy things, knowing how he really was. Maybe she’d find the situation more amusing herself if she weren’t being forced into it.

Much to her surprise, Envy entered the room, looking quite stressed, his pupils narrowed. He was holding a bottle of some kind of cologne.

“You’re not supposed to be here, Envy,” Lust said simply. “Pride was pretty clear on that.”

“The brat’s not even dressed up yet,” Envy shrugged. “Anyways, Wrath gave me this bottle. This is ridiculous! Who’s even going to smell me?!”

“Everyone you greet today, for starters. And you do get sweaty when you’re stressed out,” Lust said.

“Ugh, fine! This is ridiculous, though!” Envy exclaimed. “Anyways, is everything ready? I left what you asked for in my room. That’s all that was needed, right?”

“Yes.”

“Great. I’ll get going, then. And, Lust,” he said, turning back to her. “Please make sure the brat at least looks presentable. I’ll have to deal with Pride’s mockery about having to marry her in the first place, so the last thing I need is his also mocking me for her looking this hideous during the ceremony.”

“She’s pretty hopeless, but I’ll do what I can,” Lust said.

Alice really wished they wouldn’t talk about her like this in her presence. Even if she didn’t feel like she was much to look at, she was pretty sure she wasn’t, of all things, hideous. Envy had even snapped at her once when she’d said she didn’t think there was anything for people to like about her appearance! And now this? She supposed that she would look hideous compared to everyone else, though, if she went to the ceremony looking as plain and unkempt as she looked right now. Still, that had kind of hurt. Complaining about this, though, was absolutely futile. She would focus instead on everything she needed to do. She would surely get breakfast first, and then a full day of preparations awaited her. She’d always thought she’d be happy on her wedding day, but she was simply filled with dread. All she wanted was for the whole thing to be over.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She did not see Envy again during the day’s preparations. That said, she didn’t have much time to miss him, either. Lust kept her very busy. After all, there were plenty of things to do. Most of the preparations actually took place in Envy’s room and the only time she really stopped to think about him was to wonder where he’d gone. She knew he needed very little time to prepare. Aside from wearing cologne (and a good thing, too. Lust was right about his reaction to stress), all he needed to do was change his shape. He didn’t need to spend ages getting his hair done and getting makeup, and fitting into a rather uncomfortable dress. But, at last, she was done, and then it was only a waiting game. She waited for Lust to get ready, too, which she did quite quickly. When she was done, she was wearing a lovely red dress that went well with her high-heeled black boots. Even though the dress was simple, the effect was quite striking. Lust (or, well, “Solaris”) was probably going to get quite a bit of attention today. Soon afterwards, the waiting game became more than a bit interesting when visitors arrived. One of them was the boy she now knew was Pride. The other was, to her, much more unexpected. It was the Fuhrer.

“Well, hello there, Alice! I suppose Envy told you my real identity after my visit?” Pride asked.

“Y… yes,” she replied. “B… but… you’re with…. the President?”

“I thought it best to reveal this before the wedding so that if you reacted with shock, it would be away from where people would see it,” the Fuhrer said. “Pride acts as my adopted son. And, of course, he must be addressed as Selim.”

“Of course,” Alice said in a barely-audible voice.

The very president of Amestris was in league with the Homunculi. She had thought the situation was terrifying enough before, but this was beyond words. The more she learned about the Homunculi, the more dangerous they seemed. Of course, if they controlled the country itself… it was definitely for the best that she was cooperating with them. She had wondered just how deep the corruption went since she found out that the underground lair was connected to Headquarters. Now she knew. With a sigh, she just resigned herself to this new knowledge and further certainty that she was just plain doomed.

“I see Envy has taught you well,” the Fuhrer continued. “You’re just accepting your orders without any fuss. That’s good. It will not do to have you acting suspiciously during a public ceremony. So I suppose we can trust you to stay calm.”

“Yes, sir. I will.”

“I see you’re ready, too. Lust will be taking you to where the ceremony will take place very soon.”

“I really can’t wait!” Pride exclaimed. “You guys are going to kiss and everything, right?”

“Er… wait, what? Kiss?!” Alice asked, somewhat in shock.

“Of course! I expect a really passionate one, of course,” Pride smiled.

“Do I really have to?” Alice asked, turning to Lust, almost pleading for mercy.

Lust just shrugged.

“It is the custom,” she said. “With the kind of people that will attend, it’s the only way this will look convincing.”

“Fine… fine… I’ll leave it up to him, though,” Alice said.

“I already talked to him about it,” Pride said with a huge grin and a very amused tone. “He tried to complain too, but I quickly set him straight. He agreed to make everyone in that room today jealous. I can hardly wait to see what he’ll say about you and how he says he’ll make everyone there jealous. It’s going to be great!”

Alice felt entirely the opposite.

“You should both get going now. People are going to start wondering where you went. She’s seen you together now, so she won’t act surprised or anything. She knows better than to mess up our plans.” Lust said.

The Fuhrer and Pride agreed with this and left. Alice felt even worse now after their visit with what Pride had said. So Envy said he was going to make everyone jealous? She wondered if that was another lie, like when Pride said Envy was really happy with this whole situation. She knew Envy. He could be joyful sometimes, but she somehow just didn’t see him as being happy. No one who was really happy had the kind of temper he did. No one.

“Well. It’s time for us to go now. I’ll be driving you there. I just have to make sure Envy is gone already. He was supposed to go with Wrath and Pride, but I still have to make sure,” Lust said after a little while.

She stood up and left, leaving Alice alone. She wondered if it would be a good idea to leave the room and try to escape. Surely the chimeras would find her and then tear her to shreds, but she almost thought that might be better than what awaited her after today. She’d always thought that some things were worse than death. This might just be one of those things. That said, she couldn’t even get herself to move. She felt paralyzed. Supposing that she managed to overcome the terrible odds and she escaped, what could she really do? She would have to be looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life outside, since Envy had warned her that they could find her. The military was entirely corrupt. Even its leader was in league with the Homunculi. Or… wait, hadn’t Lust said Envy was leaving with Pride and… Wrath? The Fuhrer was Wrath?! It made a horrifying amount of sense. That was how Envy had gotten her a job in the military. That was how they could send away threats to be killed in war. And that was likely how they had gotten papers to make “Solaris” and “Evan” exist, legally. And this was likely how they’d arranged for this whole marriage thing to go seamlessly. They’d probably gotten her papers, too. She certainly didn’t have any papers here. What Lust had said before, implying Alice had already met Wrath made perfect sense now.

By the time Lust was back, Alice had gotten up and taken the first step towards the door. Her hesitation had made it far too late for her to even try to escape. Whatever awaited her after today was now inevitable.

“Come on, girl,” Lust said. “Time to drive you to the event.”

Alice felt as though her heart had turned into a heavy stone, but she still followed Lust out, making no complaints.

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Lust turned out to be an even better driver than Envy was. She didn’t have a problem with her foot being too heavy, for starters, so at least Alice felt safer in the car with her behind the wheel. Before long, they’d arrived. It was certainly not the kind of fancy place that Herman had rented for his event, but it was nice enough, even if a bit small. Several people seemed to be there already, including Herman and Lily, who hadn’t gone into the room where the actual wedding was going to be held. Herman was wearing a very luxurious suit, and Lily was wearing a fairly fancy pink dress.

“Oh, Alice, dear, you’re here!” Lily greeted her. “You look absolutely lovely. Come, hurry up inside. Evan’s been waiting for you, and he looks positively desperate for you to arrive. Oh, and who is this young lady with you?”

“She’s Solaris. She’s a neighbor, and my bridesmaid.”

“Why, pleased to meet you, Solaris!” Lily said. “And this is my husband, Herman.”

“An honor to meet you both,” Lust said amiably.

They went inside, and sure enough, there was “Evan”. Alice was almost… shocked. He looked… well, handsome. His hair was combed very neatly, and the tuxedo he was wearing was not only very fitting, but it looked wonderful. She didn’t know who’d picked it for him, but whoever had done so had excellent taste in clothing. He looked back at her and he seemed almost surprised. Then he actually smiled. It was a smile that looked surprisingly sincere. He extended his hand towards her and she took it, smiling back. That smile of his, after all, had been an outright compliment. He was great at faking smiles, that was true, but there was always something about the eyes, a subtle hint that he was not sincere. She had seen none of that in his smile.

They greeted people together now. Some of the ones Envy had already greeted came to greet her as well. Everyone they’d invited was here, and everyone seemed happy, except Vincent. Vincent said he was happy for them, but Alice could tell he was sad. She wondered why, but didn’t have much time to dwell on it. There were other people to greet, including Pride, Wrath and, well, Wrath’s wife. The three of them also looked pretty happy. She wondered for a moment whether Wrath’s wife knew who he was. If she did, she might almost be tempted to ask her what it was like being married to a Homunculus. It might be helpful. But, again, she had no time to dwell much on those thoughts. There were still people waiting to greet them. The most uncomfortable part of the whole thing was being so close to Envy. He’d apparently taken Lust’s comment on his being sweaty a bit too seriously and had positively doused himself with the cologne. It wasn’t something one would notice too much at some distance, but since she was standing right next to him, she found the scent almost overwhelming. She really hoped it would start to wear off sometime soon.

Soon, it was time for the ceremony. It was an old judge that was going to hold it, or, at least, Alice thought he looked like a judge. She could hardly hear his words, even though he spoke slowly. She had a vague idea that he was talking about how important and wonderful the union of marriage was and about how they would have to become prepared to deal with so many new things, and eventually a family and everything. But mostly she was focused on the pounding of her own heart, and in maintaining the smile that she knew she had to wear.

“A marriage is an oath to each other. An oath of everlasting love. That’s why you prepare your vows, and that is why you choose people close to you to be your witnesses. So now, it is time for you to exchange your vows,” the judge said.

This was the moment she’d been dreading. Alice’s mind snapped back to reality. She almost dreaded to hear what Envy had written. He was looking her squarely in the eyes, his gaze actually fairly calm. He took a small paper from his pocket, gave it a quick look, and then took a deep breath to start speaking.

“When I first met you, I knew there was something about you that was… unique and wonderful. Yet, I could not have guessed what an important part of my life you would become. Our experiences together have brought us close, and the feelings we have shared, I will eternally be grateful for,” Envy said. His voice was clear and intense. “This is why I, Evan, take you, Alice, to be my lawfully wedded wife. Before these witnesses, I vow to watch over you, to know you as one knows a beloved book, to work with you on all the missions that life will bring. I will be there to protect you, always, and may the weight of my loyalty be ever a reminder of just how much you are worth to me.”

The words were beautiful. Why did she feel so… terrified hearing them? She had no time to dwell on that. It was her turn.

“When I met you, I was lost and scared for the future. You changed my life entirely. You brought me back into my life’s path and your kindness gave me the strength to find a new purpose for my life,” Alice said. She had hoped her voice was not going to be shaky, and it sounded fairly firm to her, thankfully. And, better yet, it didn’t sound dead. She actually sounded as happy as she was pretending to be.  “This is why I, Alice, do take you, Evan, to be my faithful husband. Before these witnesses, I vow to serve our marriage, with all my heart and with the same care as a gardener tending to his flowers: steadfast and patiently. I vow to keep no secrets between us, so that our shared knowledge may make our union last through the trials of time. I vow to love you more and more with each growing day, until death do us part.”

She heard a few people sniffling behind her. She wanted to cry too, but she had to keep smiling. Envy was smiling.

“You have all borne witness to these vows. Before the law, the certificate must be signed. Would the chosen witnesses please come forward?”

“Solaris” and the Fuhrer came forward and signed their names. “Evan” and Alice did the same. It was official. Alice and Envy were married.

“And now,” the judge said. “You may seal your vows with a kiss as a demonstration of love.”

This was the part she’d been dreading the most. She looked at Envy, who no longer looked so calm, since his pupils weren’t entirely round anymore. Still, he gave her no time to think. He pulled her into an embrace, and he kissed her. Though he was decently gentle, she could feel the strength of his restrained emotions in the way he held her and the way he kissed her. She wasn’t sure if the emotions were mostly rage and disgust, or a mixture of more complicated feelings, but they were passionate. She had no choice but to return the kiss, and she, too, channeled her feelings into it. It was a bit before they finally let go of each other. She could see that Envy looked fairly surprised for a moment, though she wasn’t sure why. She also didn’t know how she felt about this. It had been intense and it confused her. And from what she could see, it confused him just as much. But unlike her, he seemed to almost immediately recover as he held out his hand again. It was time to move on to the next part of the celebration, or, as Alice more saw it, the next part of the ritual to sell her soul.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unlike the day of Herman’s wedding, this time Alice was not looking forward very much to the dinner and celebration. In a way, it was going to be much the same: she was going to be sitting next to Envy, and she was expected to dance with him too, and they were going to eat together. She’d already done all of these things before. It was, though the fact that she was at the center of this whole thing that really made her hate the whole idea. For starters, before the actual dinner began, she had to mingle with everyone. Most of the invited people were people she knew, so her only comfort was that Envy was likely hating every second much more than she was. Still, listening to people congratulate her over and over made her feel almost ill. What was there to congratulate her about? Being further tied to her jailer? Of course, they didn’t know about that, or at least, most of them didn’t know. The Fuhrer knew, as did his “son”. And “Solaris” knew it too. They knew she was unhappy, and likely they knew Envy was just as unhappy, and they still congratulated them both. Even if it was all to keep up appearances, she thought it was awful of them to do that. Pride looked incredibly happy about it, too. She didn’t think that glee was at all to keep up the appearances. The more time passed, the more Envy seemed to have trouble keeping his pupils round.

“Your eyes are showing,” Alice was obliged to whisper to him after a bit. After all, humans didn’t normally have slitted pupils.

Envy quickly fixed the shape of his pupils, and he must have been more careful. since they didn’t start slipping into their original shape anymore. He should have picked darker-colored eyes, Alice thought, if he’d wanted to make sure that his pupil shape wasn’t easily seen. At least he hadn’t picked grey eyes. If he had, he’d never have been able to stay hidden from anyone who was observant enough. At least with dark blue eyes, you had to be really close to see when his attention started to slip.

Finally, it was time for them to sit down for dinner. Alice was very glad. Her feet already ached pretty badly from standing so long. Though her shoes were not high-heeled, the shape of the soles was all delicate, and there was the slightest bit of heels on them. After standing so long, she almost couldn’t bear to walk. She was good at staying composed despite that, but she still felt incredibly relieved. She also could finally sit at a bit more distance from Envy, which meant she was no longer feeling half-choked by the scent of the excess cologne. It was definitely better than his being sweaty, but she wished someone had told him how much of it one should actually wear.

Because there was music and no one could actually hear them, he would also be able to talk to her, and that she wasn’t so keen on. With his incredible ability to ruin anything remotely good, she was pretty sure that he’d say something that’d make her feel worse than she was already feeling. He seemed to be entirely unable to resist that temptation. For a moment, though, neither of them was talking.

“About that kiss,” Envy said after a bit of the awkward silence. “Let’s never do that again.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Alice said. “That was a lot more intense than I thought it would be.”

“Yes, it was. Frankly, I’m glad I was so angry.”

“Angry?”

“Yeah, no one said passion had to be love and any of that sappy stuff. Anger can be pretty passionate too! And I was able to make it very convincing due to that! I’m surprised you were so convincing, though.”

“My life depends on it, right?”

“Well, yes. It does.”

“So there you go. I was just terrified.”

“I’m never going to live this down,” Envy sighed. “I hate what you’ve done, you know. Leading us to this with your mistakes.”

She sighed. She hadn’t wanted to be down this path either. It was easier for him, too. He had every advantage. She didn’t. She was just his prisoner, and now, his wife, too. It may not really count or matter to him, but to her it did. And she utterly hated what she’d been forced to do. She honestly felt she had more to complain about than Envy, but she didn’t want to say something about it, lest it caused him to do something terrible to her later.

“We’re going to have to dance later, you know that?” she asked, trying to change the topic, and only realizing after she spoke that it was probably not a good topic.

“You really should stop reminding me of every terrible thing you remember,” Envy said. “Why don’t we talk about your vows?” He smiled. “I found them so flattering~!”

She was always impressed at how serene his smile could be.

“Why flattering? I made them nice, but it wasn’t meant to flatter you.”

“Well, you basically promised to serve me loyally. And you also promised to love me more and more. In other words, you promised to give yourself to me. That is quite flattering!”

“I didn’t mean it like that! I’m not yours.”

“On the contrary, you’ve been mine for a long time. You just hadn’t realized it.”

She wanted very badly to slap him across the face, but she didn’t want to die.

“Did you like my vows?” he continued, still with that infuriating serene smile.

“Did you even mean any of it?”

He looked directly at her, still smiling.

“Every. Word,” he said, his voice still silent enough to not be overheard, but fierce.

Suddenly, Alice knew exactly what he had meant and why she had felt so uncomfortable after hearing them.

“Smile, dear, before I kiss you again,” he said.

She managed to force a smile, even though all she wanted to do was to run away. Fortunately, dinner arrived very soon. She liked it better than what had been served at Herman’s wedding. It was still simple fare of some soup, some salad, some meaty dish and some dessert, but while the food was good, it wasn’t as terribly fancy as what Herman and Lily favoured. She liked fancy, but only up to a point. Beyond it, things might be good, but they felt alien. But what she enjoyed the most was that it was harder for Envy to keep up a conversation when he was so busy eating. She’d get her own amusement in a bit when it was time to dance. He would not be able to refuse and she knew he hated it. And, well, the first dance would be only for them, and all eyes would be focused on them. She wasn’t sure whether he’d hate that more than she would, though. However, at least she did like to dance.

When the time came to dance, neither of them complained. They both just stood up and did what they had to do. Alice was actually rather surprised. Envy danced better than he had before, probably to show off. After all, everyone was looking at them. After that first dance, everyone else joined in. At some point, Pride put in the act of an absolutely adorable little boy and asked her to dance. She had no real choice but to comply, much to Envy’s amusement. Most others who saw it thought it the most adorable thing ever. His adopted mother seemed quite happy, and the Fuhrer, like Envy, seemed quite amused. Alice, looking around for Vincent in between songs, saw him talking and later dancing with “Solaris”. She was pretty scared for him. He obviously didn’t know the kind of danger he was placing himself in, and he seemed rather taken with his new acquaintance. But, as was to be expected in an event like this, she had very little time to think about it. There was more socializing to be done and there was more dancing, and there was having to force herself to stay smiling despite her growing pain and exhaustion and the dread that filled her heart.

Eventually, much to her relief, people started leaving. First, of course, was the Fuhrer, with the excuse that Selim needed his rest. Several other friends left, and then others. The last ones to leave were Herman, Lily and Vincent. Vincent seemed outright unhappy about leaving, having spent his whole night with “Solaris”. At last, the only people left in the event room were Lust, Envy and Alice.

“My, my. I can see why you like that young man,” Lust said. “He’s quite the charming gentleman, if a bit too eager to assume a protective role.”

“Wh… who, Vincent?” Alice asked.

“Why, yes. Truly, quite a charming fellow.”

“Can we not talk about him?” Envy asked through clenched jaws.

“You need to be elsewhere soon. Help me get this place cleaned up before our rented time is up, so you can hurry up and go where you need to be,” Lust said.

Envy’s pupils had become tiny vertical slits on his eyes. He helped, though, and so did Alice.

“I’m glad we had no drunken people making a mess of things,” Lust said when they were done picking everything up. She then turned to Envy. “And after hearing what you tried to do during Herman’s wedding, I really expected you to attempt to get yourself drunk again.”

“I would have really loved to get drunk enough not to care about this,” Envy shrugged. “But I can’t normally do it, anyways, and if I tried I’d just end up being reminded all night about it. Not to mention the table I had to sit at was right in the middle where everyone would be able to see, so it wasn’t like it was wise to try.”

“It’s unwise to try even if you’re stuck in the broom closet,” Lust sighed. “But you’re so careless. Anyway, we’re done here. Let’s go.”

All three of them finally left and Lust drove them all home. Alone in the back seat, Alice listened to Envy and Lust talk about the people that had gone to the event. Mostly they were describing what they thought they were like due to whatever they’d observed about them and she soon just tuned them out. She instead turned her thoughts to what this whole day meant. She had written her vows to sound nice and to reassure Envy that she wasn’t going to give him any trouble. He’d written his to threaten her (though she had to admit it was the most romantic threat she’d ever had the misfortune of getting). And then what he’d said later… it seriously terrified her. How long had it been since she’d basically… given up? She guessed it didn’t matter. This had happened a long time ago. Today just made it official. She’d signed the papers that meant she’d given up entirely against her jailer.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing they did when they got back inside the underground tunnels was to get to Alice’s prison cell. Once there, Envy made Alice pick up all her things and carry them out to his room. The only thing he bothered to help her with was the flower vase. She was almost glad she owned so little, since she could easily carry it. Still, she felt scared as she walked over to the jailer’s room.

“Do we really have to do this?” she asked. Her throat felt dry.

“Well, this is what you asked for. You basically wanted your accommodations upgrade to match your new status under the contract. Right?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Look here!” Envy interrupted. “Own up to your decisions! We agreed to that and that’s what you’re going to get.”

“You also said we could adjust it!”

“Yeah, but this is too soon to bother with this, and I am really not in the mood to discuss any changes to our arrangements today.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Maybe. I’m not sure if either of us will be in the mood for that. But we’ll see. See, the thing here is we don’t actually have many places we can toss you into. We have a few old labs and rooms, but really, there’s that dusty old cell we put you in, and other than that, there’s the rooms we use and that’s it. So we have limited options. You want an upgrade, it’s all we can do.”

There was nothing else she could really say. She just followed Envy to his room. Envy pointed to his own wardrobe.

“Put your stuff there for now. It’s not like I really need to use it,” he said.

She obeyed. The wardrobe was indeed mostly empty, aside from a few old coats. It still looked very empty by the time she was done putting the few clothes she owned in there. Envy had put the vase on the table. Afterward, she sat on the couch and he sat on the bed. There was a long moment of awkward silence.

“Alright, so. Here’s the deal. Our agreement was a married life, right? And that means I’m forced to do things the right and typical way. I’m told this includes an absolutely unforgettable night and I’m going to be questioned about it, so it’s not like I get a choice,” Envy said.

He looked extremely stressed out. There was sweat on his face and his pupils were barely noticeable.

“Wh… what? What do you mean unforgettable?” she asked, her voice outright shaky.

“Well, I don’t know! Something special, apparently, for a wedding night.”

“W… we don’t need to do anything! The night’s already been unforgettable!”

“Look, I already told you I’m going to be questioned and I don’t want to run afoul of my orders. I’d love to just do what you said and say you’ve already had an unforgettable night, but my orders are clear. I must do something absolutely unforgettable tonight.”

“... Letting me sleep would be great. I’m very tired.”

“Hey, look. Cooperate, okay? It’s not like you’re going to get another chance. I mean, you’ve wanted to make me uncomfortable for a long time, right? This is your chance! If you don’t cooperate and I have to deal with Pride’s wrath, or worse, Father’s, you do know who I’m going to take it out on, right?”

He had an absolutely excellent point. She was way too easy a target for an angry Envy.

“But there’s a problem with that,” she said. “I really, seriously don’t want anything else, and anything at all might be unforgettable, but it’s likely to be pretty awful. And, well, uh, no offense, but… you’re not exactly nice and kind, so…”

“Okay, fair enough. But look at it this way. It’s going to be bad either way, right? If you cooperate, though, it’s likely to be less bad and not only that, but when people cooperate, things tend to feel less bad. So it’s really an easy choice.”

“Fine.”

“Great. So. What do people DO on a wedding night, anyway? I forgot to ask Lust about the actual details. I have only a vague idea.”

Alice sighed, trying to keep herself from screaming and trying to run out of the room.

“People tend to get… intimate,” she answered, hoping the answer was enough. She didn’t want to go into details, and she hoped it would be confusing enough to avoid what had to be a fate worse than death.

“Intimate, huh? Yes, yes, I think I can do that,” he said, looking thoughtful. “But don’t think I’ll ever do it again.”

“Fine with me,” she said. She felt outright faint with terror, and her voice clearly showed that.

“Come here, then.”

“Wh… what?”

“You don’t think I’m going to actually WALK over there, right? YOU come here.”

She could feel her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest as she stood up and walked towards him. He didn’t move, though he still looked extremely stressed out. This was not a good sign.

“Sit down next to me. Don’t make this more awkward than it has to be,” he grumbled as a drop of sweat dripped from his chin.

She sat down right next to him. She was sure she was going to faint very, very soon.

“Don’t look like you’re the only miserable girl on this planet forced into a marriage. There’s like fifty people in Xing right now in the same or worse situations!” he snapped. “So stop looking like you’re about to start whining and crying and doing whatever it is weak, pathetic human beings do when you’re upset!”

“Yes, sir,” she said, trying to force herself to look more calm. Several deep breaths later, she at least looked like she’d stay composed.

“Much better. Now. Hold out your hand.”

She did so. Her hand was shaky, but she held it out anyways. He took it and carefully held it to his chest.

“Can you feel that?”

It was… a heartbeat. A steady, strong pulse, far too quick for anyone who was calm, but there it was either way.

“It’s… your heart?”

“Yes and no. It’s complicated. It’s not a heart like you would have. But it is what functions as a heart, pumping blood and keeping me alive. It’s basically the part of my anatomy that really differs from a human’s.”

“The only one? Everything else…?”

“Is basically human, yes. My body is far more dense than a human’s, and due to the different heart, the blood vessels are in somewhat different places at some points… and that’s basically it in this form. So, see, there’s no need to get all worried about me being close to you. It’s not like I’m going to explode or anything, or suddenly grow huge teeth and bite you… even though I could. But don’t worry! I won’t.”

If that was supposed to make her feel any better, it had failed. Maybe he’d just wanted to more or less create some empathy with her and make her feel like he was more human or… well, she didn’t know. Maybe he was just rambling due to being nervous. Maybe he had a point. But she didn’t feel reassured at all.

“So, then, I’m going to show you something really neat that I never have showed anyone else before. I’ll even let you hold it~!”

“There’s really no-”

“You said you’d cooperate and you will,” Envy interrupted her. “Don’t force me to change this into something worse for you.”

“Okay… alright. Just… continue.”

He was still holding her hand and suddenly, he let go of it, stood up, and quickly pinned her down on the bed with a malicious grin. She was overwhelmed by the scent of the excessive cologne he was wearing, and she could still make out his own scent beneath that. He was obviously holding back his strength and not crushing her but he was still delighting in the fear that was obviously showing in her eyes.

“Are you ready, then? This is going to be painful,” he said, still grinning.

She didn’t dare fight him. She just nodded. Then, much to her surprise, Envy stood up again, freeing her and laughing. His hands turned green and grew horrible monster-like claws. He dug those claws into his own chest and tore it open, blood dripping from the wound. Alice shrieked. And then she saw something that… she could hardly describe as anything aside from amazing. There was no heart, like Envy had said. In place of that was a small, glowing red stone. It was a smooth, oval shape and it seemed to be made of some kind of swirly, misty thing, or at least it seemed to have that glowing mist inside it. It was beautiful, even if at the same time it filled her with a strange kind of fear.

“It’s a Philosopher’s Stone. I’m sure you know exactly how human babies are made. Homunculi, though, are created by using these stones. Go ahead. Touch it.”

She stood up, hesitating, but reached out to give it a quick touch. She didn’t know what a Philosopher’s Stone was, aside from something used to create Homunculi, but now she could also tell it was an object of great power. She’d felt it as her finger touched it. It was something like electricity running through her body, but without actually hurting it.

“It… feels strange.”

“It feels powerful,” Envy said. “And that’s because it is. And you can stop staring at the hole in my chest. When I will it, it will heal immediately. It’s the power of the Stone. This is the source of my powers and the source of my very life. And for the only time ever, I’m letting you use it.”

“Use it? How can I use a thing like that?”

“Well, I’ll give you two options, mostly because there’s not really more options than that. You can pull the Stone out of my chest. It’s going to hurt a lot, and it’s going to kill my body, but the Stone is my core, so it will just be regenerated. I won’t even retaliate. Or you can actually do something I know you’ve wanted to do for a long time. You can perform alchemy with my Stone.”

“You said I couldn’t perform alchemy.”

“That’s true! You know nothing of alchemy, but even an incompetent little worm like you can do alchemy with a Stone. You need to just hold it, and then will it to do something for you. The basics of alchemy is understanding to deconstruct and then reconstruct matter. With the Stone, you just need to will it to construct something. You just have to know exactly what. So, what will it be? Will you tear out my heart, or will you take a gift from it~?”

She felt almost sure she wanted to tear it off and watch him suffer. But then again, performing alchemy, even if it was aided by the Stone, was something she had desired for a long time. Envy already seemed to be in pain, too. She held out her hand, hesitating.

“Hold the Stone and either yank it out or will it to create something. Maybe a lovely necklace to go with your ring. That would actually be easy enough. But go on. Use it.”

She held the Stone in her hand, cautiously. Blood dripped on it as she broke a few of the vessels that burst forth from it. She could feel it pulsing, quite strongly, beneath her fingers. Envy took a deep breath, possibly from the pain. What should she do? Both would lead to an impressive demonstration of the Stone’s power, and both would feel great. One of them, though, would probably make her more uncomfortable than the other. She realized that as much as she had thought she wished to make Envy suffer, she didn’t really want to go through with it. She focused on the other idea. A necklace? Sure, that would work. She loved roses… red ones. And, of course, she loved rubies. A necklace with a rose made of that stone would do. She was almost giddy. She was going to perform alchemy!  She closed her eyes and focused on that and silently pleaded for the Stone to create the necklace. She heard the crackling of electricity and saw a red glow through her eyelids and quickly opened her eyes. The necklace (a lovely, white gold chain with a large flower-shaped ruby pendant, materialized in front of her. As soon as it was done, she finally let go of Envy’s Philosopher’s Stone (causing him to breathe in sharply when more blood vessels snapped). She was holding the necklace now, a beautiful, if blood-stained, thing.

“I… I did this?” Alice gasped.

“Yup. All you. The Stone just provides the power to do it,” Envy replied.

He let go of the skin he was holding open and Alice watched in surprise as red bolts of energy arced around the wound and it quickly healed. Even the clothes were regenerated. The only other time she’d seen wounds heal so quickly was when the gold-toothed doctor had used something to heal her. Was it, perhaps, a Stone that he used for that? She’d never actually thought about where the power to heal her so quickly came from. It was, indeed, an impressive and powerful object, the Stone. She looked again at the beautiful necklace she had made. There was no way she ever could have afforded to own a thing like that. It was, simply put, amazing. Certainly unforgettable. The feeling she’d gotten while she was creating the necklace, the power of the Philosopher’s Stone coursing through her body, watching the object materialize from nothing… there was no way she’d forget this, definitely.

“Quite an interesting choice~!” Envy exclaimed. “I could have sworn that, if you had me at your mercy, you’d pull out the Stone. But I guess you couldn’t bear to pull out my heart~! Instead you chose a gift from it, how interesting~!”

“I just… don’t like to hurt people,” Alice said.

“Oh, no, you hurt people just fine! Look at your so-called friends~! You just didn’t want to hurt ME. How adorable~!” Envy exclaimed, leaning towards her. “You’ve never really tried to hurt me. You just do what I say. I told you that you’ve been mine for a long time now. You may have signed the official papers and realized it only now, but this is not new. You’re mine.” He gently touched his thumb to her chin and then lifted her face to look straight into her eyes. “You’re my loyal little pet.”

He leaned so close to her that his nose touched hers. She didn’t flinch anymore.

“How much more intimate do you want us to get~?” he asked with a cruel grin.

“I’m… I’m fine.”

“Anyone can give you normal physical intimacy. Anyone! I’ve given you the kind of intimacy only a Homunculus can give. I’ve let you hold my very core in your hand, and I’ve let you use it and I’ve even placed myself at your mercy for a moment. Who else could give you that? But if you don’t think that’s enough…” he said, pushing her forward a bit and causing her to fall on the bed again, pinning her there once more. “I can give you more. I’ve warned you what can happen if I do, but if that’s what you want, we can take steps to minimize the damage to yourself. It’s your night, so it’s all up to you~!”

“Thank you, but… I’m good. The intimacy you already gave me… that’s enough. It really was wonderful. I’m never going to forget it,” she replied, her throat dry again. “I promise!”

With a big smile, Envy let her go again. She sighed in relief. If she was completely honest with herself, it had become too hard to fight him anymore, so she was glad he was just leaving her alone.

“Well, let’s wash off the blood, then,” Envy said. “And you need to get out of that dress.”

She just followed him into the bathroom where both of them washed the blood off their hands, and Alice washed the necklace while Envy washed the blood off his chest. Not exactly eager to be present while she changed into casual clothes (she had never been given pajamas), Envy left immediately after he was done. When Alice came back out of the bathroom, she saw that he was waiting up for her.

“Well, let’s end this disgusting ritual. Come over here and sleep,” Envy said.

She would much rather take the couch but she was just not going to argue.

“So what did you think of today?” he asked as she sat on the bed.

“It was a lovely ceremony. Please thank your siblings for me.”

“And your wedding night?”

“Unforgettable is… certainly a way to describe it,” she answered. “I feared that you would force yourself on me, but you didn’t. Thank you.”

“Whatever. It isn’t something I’m into. All I was asked to do was provide intimacy. No one said attempted breeding had to be involved, forced or otherwise.”

“It was a unique experience. Really, thank you. A… gift from your heart, right? I will treasure it that way.”

“Stop being sappy and go to sleep already! You’re going to make me sick!”

She moved as far to the edge of the bed as she dared and tried to go to sleep. Despite her efforts, she could not get the day’s events out of her head, especially the whole event with Envy’s idea of intimacy. It had hurt him a lot, but he had still given her that one moment of power. Maybe… she actually did like him. He wasn’t really heartless. He’d given her something from his heart. Literally. Who else could actually do that? And as much as he had threatened her with his vows, he had also promised to protect her. She knew he certainly meant it. She might have basically sold her soul and signed off her life to him, and she was hurt from that, but she still managed a small smile as she finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Teela for helping me write the vows~!


	24. Inertia

## Chapter 24 - Inertia

There was a single benefit Alice could find to sleeping in the same piece of furniture as her husband jailer. He tended to stir before waking up and since he was so heavy, she would notice and be awake before he actually got up. This made sure that he didn’t have a chance to awaken her very roughly. He was much annoyed at this but there was little he could do about it. He left to bring her breakfast in a pretty foul mood, and when he returned, he was in an even worse mood. Fearing that he’d been asked to do something else that he’d hate, she knew she’d have to risk asking him about this.

“What happened?”

“Mind your own business!” he snapped.

“I just want to know whether you’re being asked to do something else like… yesterday.”

“What? No, there’s not much else for me to do aside from keeping you alive and well. And I guess I offered to get you something you want rather than strictly need once in a while. Rarely, mind you! I’m not suddenly going to spoil you rotten, do you hear me?”

“Of course, sir,” she replied. “So I have nothing else to worry about? For, uh, now?”

“Worry? You’re really going to call it worrying? To do anything like last night? I was disgustingly nice to you and you call it WORRYING?! I should have gone with a TRADITIONAL wedding night!” he growled.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Alice said, flinching away from him. “I liked yesterday, I was just hoping it had been enough! You know, for your Father and all. You said you were going to be questioned!”

“If you absolutely need to know, then yes, it was enough and no, I’m not obligated to give you anything more than the rare extra token of kindness. Satisfied now?”

“Yes. And… thank you again for letting me perform alchemy yesterday. I really enjoyed that.”

“I thought I told you last night to stop being sappy about that. You’re making me sick!”

“It’s just… traditional to thank people for their gifts.”

“That wasn’t a gift! That was duty. So hurry up and eat! It’s a day off for you, so I suppose that I can take you to buy something you want. One thing only! I think once a month works for that, right?”

She was getting something new once a month?! That was… amazing! She’d have so many things after a time that she’d hardly know what to do with them all! Considering what she was wearing, she knew exactly what she wanted, too.

“I’d really like some pajamas to be able to wear at night. I miss that. If, you know, that’s okay with you.”

“That’s all? Oh, sure, whatever. Eat and we’ll go.”

She felt quite glad to hear this. She’d been wanting something comfortable to wear to sleep since she got to Amestris. Her work clothes were comfortable enough, but only for the day. Used as she was to sleeping in them, she felt incredibly happy that she’d get something new. Maybe she’d get somewhat of a better life. Maybe this really was an upgrade. She wanted to think so, at least. She needed to think so, frankly, or else she knew she would feel beyond miserable.

She was also relieved to know that she wouldn’t have to deal with visiting Lily and Herman’s place for some time while she “adjusted” to her “married life”. She supposed she was looking at a full month before she had to brave that nightmare again. She suspected Lily knew the effects of that incense and didn’t actually have any bad intentions with it, but there was no way she could know just how disturbing it was. She supposed that something that amplified feelings would actually be wonderful for a typical couple… at least in theory. In practice, it could just lead to disappointment when they went back to their normal lives without the use of that amplifier. She doubted that causing disappointment was the intention. Even if it were some kind of forced loyalty test, she just didn’t think that it was the effect Lily was after. If she was, though, that was cruel and nosy and really awful. She knew Herman, though, and he just wouldn’t have married a person capable of messing with someone’s life that way. Lily was just being well-intentioned and this whole business was just something she could not actually predict. As far as anyone outside knew, Alice was deeply in love with her new husband.

What had disturbed her the most about Lily’s talks, however, wasn’t exactly the fact that her normal feelings were amplified. She knew very well what it felt like to be even more scared of Envy than usual. All that it took to feel that way was catching him in a foul enough mood (and goodness, was he often in a bad mood!). It was the positive feelings that she’d felt. Everything in her mind screamed that she couldn’t possibly feel anything good towards her jailer, or at least nothing THAT good. She was certainly thankful for his care. As nasty as he could be, he was usually very meticulous in making sure she had everything she needed. He even took the time to prepare a balanced meal for her most of the time. During winters, he had even brought her extra bedsheets so that she would be able to sleep properly. And, well, he hadn’t really needed to DO all those things, especially not the little ones. He could keep her alive with the bare minimum of food. People could live with malnourishment for a very long time. Certainly longer than however long they planned to hold her captive. And a warm bed at night during winter wasn’t necessary at all to keep her healthy. It was just something she needed for comfort, but that was all. He’d also spent enough time with her to keep her from going insane from isolation. He’d done NICE things for her. Plenty of them in these years! But while she had developed a sort of liking for him (especially when he was in a good mood), to say that she loved him was way too much. And yet, during those sessions (especially the second), she’d felt what she could only describe as love. It wasn’t great, but it was there, and it terrified her beyond anything else she had ever experienced. She’d much rather face Envy’s wrath than the fact that she might be developing such feelings for him. She knew she could hardly help it, what with him being the only person she really could form any sort of true emotional connection to, but that didn’t make her feel any better. She knew he had kept her as isolated as possible on purpose, and continuously reminded her of how she could not truly be close to anyone else. She knew what he had done and though she hated it, she had indeed ended up forming a sort of emotional connection to him. She wanted to pretend it didn’t exist, but going to Lily’s home forced her to face it. She didn’t want to do so again, but she knew she would, simply because Envy wanted her to. She’d been doing his bidding for so long now that it was almost a second nature. He had been right. She might have only just signed the papers, but how long ago had she actually sold her soul to him? She didn’t dare think of the answer. She knew already that it would terrify her.

Envy didn’t talk much during breakfast. Grumpy as he was, it was probably for the best. Of course, every time he was silent, she had to deal with his creepy staring. Thankfully, even though it was highly disturbing, it was at least not actually dangerous, or at least, not immediately so. She met his sharp gaze a few times, but he offered no reaction at all, and she could never look at him for more than a few seconds at a time. She used to think he only stared at her in order to be disturbing, but she had since learned better. He was studying her and she was eventually going to feel the effects of it. It was perhaps better to distract him.

“So, um, what kind of pajamas can I get?” she asked.

“Hm? Oh. I dunno. Whatever, I guess,” he replied, then frowned. “How should I even know? I don’t wear those things.”

“Speaking of wearing… aside from when you change shape, I’ve never seen you wear anything other than that… uh… outfit,” Alice said, unable to think of a more polite way to describe the weird clothes he always wore. “Can you even remove your clothes?”

“Yup. But then I’d have to spend energy remaking them, so I don’t bother. They’re perfectly comfortable anyway, so it’s not like I have any need to make new clothes.”

“Oh, I see. I almost wish I had something like that. Work clothes aren’t very comfortable, really, for sleeping.”

“Who cares? They work, right? You also could just sleep with no clothes on. That’d fix the problem too, wouldn’t it?”

“No, not with you entering and leaving the room whenever you please. You even did that when I was in the other room.”

“You assume I’d feel anything aside from disgust. Or, you know, that it’s at all important to me. For all I care, you can wear whatever, including just your own skin.”

“I don’t feel comfortable.”

“Then that’s your problem.”

“But I still get pajamas, right?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” he said, sounding positively bored by now.

“You know, I don’t get it. You keep saying you’re disgusted by my human body, but… you said that you’re human aside from your heart! That means you look pretty much just as disgusting!” she said.

Envy gave her a dismayed look.

“Would you just keep eating already?!”

She obeyed, but frankly found the hypocrisy something between amusing and sad. Envy was frowning again, seeming thoughtful. She went back to finishing her breakfast.

“You’d have to be a Homunculus to not be disgusting!” he blurted out after a few minutes.

“But that’s impossible, right? You have to be born a Homunculus, just like you have to be born human.”

“Actually, no, not really. I mean, yeah, you can be. Me and Lust and Gluttony and Pride and Sloth were born like this. Wrath’s different, though. He can even age.”

“That’s right. You don’t age,” she nodded thoughtfully. It definitely made sense. She’d heard that the Fuhrer had been in power for a long time, and she’d seen he was married, too. If he didn’t age, people would notice something was wrong. “So what makes him so different?”

“He’s a human-based Homunculus. You see, if you take a Philosopher’s Stone and you add it into a human’s bloodstream, it begins to take over. So, for example, you could be turned into a Homunculus, if, say, Father took my Philosopher’s stone, liquified it and put it in contact with your blood. If you don’t fight back, it’d probably succeed and you’d be like us, except you would be able to age… if you run out of energy, at least. Oh, and, well, I guess you wouldn’t really be you anymore. I mean, you’d be in there, but if it were my Philosopher’s Stone, for example, I’d be in control of your body,” he explained. He then grinned in a rather cruel way. “A completely new level of intimacy, huh?”

“Yeah, no thanks…” she said, shuddering slightly. She hated the idea of being unable to control her own body, let alone sharing it with Envy.

“To be fair, it’s an agonizing process anyways, and your pathetic body is so weak that it probably would die even if you gave it up willingly. And it’s just a hypothetical scenario, anyways. Father has no plans to make a new Homunculus, and it’s not like any of us would want to share a body with YOU, even if the Philosopher’s Stone would make it and keep it perfectly healthy.”

It was honestly a relief to hear that there were zero chances of this happening. She knew that she was mostly a resource for the Homunculi, and that they’d use her for anything they needed to use her for, so it was good to be reassured that this particular thing wouldn’t happen. The whole part about being perfectly healthy would be tempting if such a thing were offered, but sharing a body with Envy?! That was worse than anything else that had ever crossed her mind.

The conversation didn’t really go anywhere else after that. She was done with breakfast soon enough and, since she was already dressed appropriately to go out somewhere, Envy very quickly took her outside to get those pajamas she was after. He kept his Evan disguise for the excursion, and despite smiling and pretending to be all happy, he didn’t actually speak much. He just silently let her pick whatever pajamas she wanted. She insisted on two pairs and he refused at first, but eventually just relented. And then afterwards, he took her back home. She hadn’t picked very fancy pajamas, but they were comfortable enough, in a soft blue-green color. She was actually feeling fairly joyful for once. Maybe things might change for the better, even if they seemed to be at their worst.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was to be disappointed in the notion that things got better. Sure, she had new pajamas, and she felt her life was a bit more normal with that, but that was the extent of the improvement. If there ever had been the slightest notion in her mind that she could change Envy into a more decent person, it was gone. It was true that he generally got along better with her, but he was absolutely devoted to causing her misery to the point where she thought it was more of an addiction. Her mother had told her once, when she was a bit younger, that trying to change people tended to be a waste of time, and that she should never seek someone out with the hopes that she could change them. She’d never listened of course. In fact, her ex-boyfriend back home had had a very bad habit of flirting outrageously with any pretty woman. She’d hated it, but she thought she could change that. After a year, she’d given up and broken up with the guy. Still, she’d held to the hope that some people could be changed. After living so long with Envy, though, she had now begun to wonder whether some people were worth changing. To be fair, she’d never actually chosen him, but she’d tried to bear his terrible treatment with as much patience and grace as she could muster, to see if that would soften his heart somehow. It had certainly brought the two of them slightly closer. He actually talked to her more often rather than just monologuing about the topics he found fun, like wars and other cruel things. A very few (extremely rare) times, he’d even come close to complimenting her. He’d even learned what kinds of foods she preferred and tended to bring those more often than others. Those relatively superficial things, though, were about the extent of his friendliness, however. He still treated her more like a pet than a person. Sometimes he outright called her his pet, usually with the sappiest smiles and always in the most obnoxiously patronizing ways he could muster. He had that whole shenanigan down to an art. Sometimes she had the feeling that he was genuinely trying to be friendly, but if this was Envy’s idea of being friendly, the Homunculus seriously needed to re-evaluate it. It was hard to like him sometimes, despite his great talent at actually being charismatic when he had to be.

She had taken some leave at work, supposedly for enjoying her first days of “marital bliss” at his behest, and so had he, presumably to keep up appearances. She still didn’t see too much of him, and she only knew he went out often enough because he’d take one of his ugly old coats. But even though he’d gotten better about actually talking to her with smalltalk and whatnot, he never really bothered to tell her much about his own missions.

“You really should get a new coat,” Alice said when he returned one night, looking rather worn.

“What’s wrong with this one?”

“It’s old and frayed and worn and kind of smelly and gross.”

Envy sniffed it.

“... Oh yeah, I guess it’s kind of smelly. It was just a very hot day and I was out in the sun a bit long.”

“You really wore a coat out in the sun?”

“Well, what, did you expect me to go around wearing this? The red nodes on my back would probably attract too much attention during the day.”

She loved how he thought that was the weirdest part of his outfit. His utter obliviousness to his terrible taste in clothes was almost adorable.

“Of course,” she said, suppressing her amusement. “But that coat looks really old and you should consider getting a new one.”

“Of course it looks old. That’s because it is! I’ve had it since way before the Ishval war. That was over a decade ago!”

“Why don’t you get a new one?”

“I like this one. What’s it to you, anyways?”

“Just a suggestion. I’ve been locked up here several days now, so I don’t have much else to think about.”

“Fine, I’ll bring you more books.”

“Could they be about something that’s… not the Ishval war for a change?”

“But it’s a great civil war! It’s the most brilliant one in history! It’s so great it’s not like something like that would ever be repeated!”

“Yes, but I’ve read about it in several different books, and some of them several times, too.”

“Fine! I’ll bring you something else.”

She was only too glad to hear that, even if she somewhat feared what new things he’d consider “fun”.

“Thank you, Envy.”

He frowned, though she had no idea why. She’d just been polite, after all. He sniffed the coat again.

“It’s not THAT smelly, you know. It smells more like dust than anything else.”

He tossed it over his shoulder and left without another word. She was honestly glad he was probably going to get it washed. That old thing was very dusty and filled with dirt from whatever he’d been out to do. Why hadn’t he gotten some other color for it? That ivory color was just not going to hide a single stain. She shook her head. For all his talk of being superior, he was just plain weird and hard to understand.

When he finally returned, he did indeed bring books for her. They were not about Ishval, though they were still about armed conflicts. A few of the books had pages that seemed slightly yellowed with age, and yet they didn’t seem to be very worn. They must be fairly obscure ones, so he must have taken his time to find them. Why didn’t he bring her something more normal? She would much rather read things like legends and fairy tales. She imagined that they must be very different from the ones she had back home. Mostly, though, she was rather tired of reading about wars.

“Do they have books about fairy tales and legends and those things?” she asked after thanking him for the books he’d brought.

“Those are things only kids and stupid people are interested in,” he replied.

“Well, yeah, maybe. But I didn’t grow up here, so I’d be interested to see how they were different from the stuff back home. I think I’d like to see that.”

“You think?”

“Well, okay, I’m pretty sure I would enjoy it.”

“I guess I’ll bring you something like that sometime. But really, the tales and legends are mostly boring. There’s a few cool fairy tales, I suppose, but they’re the exception rather than the rule. And regarding legends, there is actually only one I find good.”

“Which one?”

“The legend about a city called Xerxes. It was really advanced and prosperous. Of course, greedy as humans are, they wanted even more! And they sought the Philosopher’s Stone. And the legend says that in a single night, the entire city perished. They say that there was a lone survivor that came to Amestris and brought us Alchemy. He is known as the Sage from the East,” he said with a placid smile.

“That’s horrible!” Alice exclaimed.”A whole city wiped out in a single night? It’s just a legend, though, right?”

“Most legends have some basis in truth.”

“What about this one? You’re old. Do you know?”

“Who you calling old?! I’m only the middle child here! I’m pretty young! You wanna go call someone old, go call Pride old. Or even Lust! But don’t call ME old!”

He hadn’t answered her question. She was always irritated when he evaded questions like that.

“Okay, sorry. But do you know?”

“Maybe,” he said with a laugh. “Maybe not. You wanted to know about legends, not history, anyways. The city existed, that’s for sure. You can even visit its ruins if you cross the desert. Beyond that? Who knows?”

She had a feeling that he knew more than he was saying. He looked perfectly smug. But if he wasn’t going to tell, there was probably no use asking him anymore. He’d sidestepped the question twice already, and she had a feeling that if she tried to ask again, he might be less amiable. Still, there were at least other things she wanted to ask him, and he’d probably be more receptive to them.

“So why are we taking a vacation?” she asked.

“Because I had some stuff to do and Lust said that it’d look better if we didn’t rush back to work. Newlyweds tend to spend quality time together or something, apparently. Though, I suspect it was more because of that ugly dude that follows you like a lapdog.”

“Who?”

“That Vincent guy!”

“He doesn’t follow me like a lapdog!”

“Whatever! He was quite taken with Lust, and I think she just wants to give time so that when you go back to work, if he bothers to ask, you can just tell him that Solaris went to visit her family in the south.”

“I could tell him that without waiting.”

“Yeah, you could, but after seeing how much trouble you’ve gotten me into, I think she just wants to play it safe. You seem to have a knack for attracting all sorts of unwelcome things, like marriage. My guess is that she doesn’t want you saying something so stupid that she’d end up in a bad situation like I did.”

“I wouldn’t do that!”

“Yeah, well, she’s not taking any chances and I can’t blame her. Besides, she is leaving next week, for Lior.”

“Why?”

“Because she has work to do. You know, it won’t be long now before our plans finally come to pass. Then we’ll finally find out if you’re real or not! Isn’t that fun?!”

“No. I’d like there to be a home for me to return to, and if there is, I’ll go back. But I’ve come to terms with the idea that life may not actually exist. I just wonder… if it doesn’t, what would I do?”

“Well… you’re welcome to stay in Amestris, I suppose. I don’t think you’ll want to after all is said and done, but there’s other countries too. You’d be free.”

Something about what he’d just said felt strange and wrong.

“Wait. Why do you say I wouldn’t want to stay here after all’s said and done?”

“Call it an educated guess.”

“What are you planning to do here in this country?”

“It’s a secret!” he grinned. “Don’t worry your little head over it. It’s got nothing to do with you, really.”

“Yes it does! I have friends here!”

“You insist on calling them friends? Don’t be silly. I already told you that you’re no friend to them, and even offered proof of it. Now, be a good little pet and stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. Unless you really do want me to tear it off! It’s not like it will kill you and you still have a few days left before you go back to work and have to look perfectly healthy.”

“Yes, sir…” she sighed.

But she wasn’t satisfied with this. She’d known they were working on plans that’d result in people getting hurt, but she was more alarmed than ever. Anything that’d result in making Amestris a country she would no longer want to live in even if she lost what she remembered as her true home had to be bad. And not only did it have to be bad, but it also had to have a magnitude of absolutely impressive proportions. Were they thinking of destroying Amestris like something had destroyed that city of Xerxes in the legends? And did it have something to do with the Philosopher’s Stone or was it just coincidence? Worried as she was, there was nothing she could do about it. All she could do was try to suppress her worries and stay alive. She would not try to find out more about this, definitely. All it could possibly lead her to was misery. And, honestly? She’d had quite enough of that. Best to try to adapt to her slightly more privileged status of “pet” (as opposed to “prisoner”) and try to milk it for any shreds of happiness she could muster.

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When she went back to work, she supposed Lust had gone to Lior, but she just didn’t have any way of knowing. And, really, until she met Vincent during lunch time, she hadn’t actually given it any thought. But when he asked her about Solaris, she remembered what Envy had said about Lust wanting to be away before he asked anything, just in case.

“That lovely woman that went to your wedding, Solaris,” Vincent began. “Where did you meet her?”

“She’s my neighbor,” Alice said. “I’ve known her for a long while.”

“Why did you never speak of her before?”

Alice shrugged.

“I don’t really speak of all my friends. She’s a quiet type and it’s not like we’ve really done much outside talking about our lives and all. We’ve become friends, but it’s hardly an interesting topic of conversation.”

“I suppose that makes sense. She’s beautiful. I’d love to have her number and ask her out for dinner sometime,” Vincent nodded. “Why don’t you give me her number and I’ll call her?”

That’s when Alice remembered, with some amusement, the fact that Lust had seen this coming and had left before it could become an issue.

“Actually, she’s gone away for a time,” Alice replied. “She went to visit her family, way out south. She’s going to be gone for a long time, but I’ll pass along the message when she comes back.”

“Oh, she’s left? What a shame, really. Beautiful women like that are hard to find. I’m patient, though. I’ll wait for her return.”

Alice just smiled and nodded. Surely Lust would have some other way to escape Vincent when she came back, but he didn’t need to know that. The topic was quickly changed back to normal smalltalk. Sure, she was asked how things were with Evan and she said they were great, and there was a bit of awed conversation at the lovely necklace she had now, but other than that, everything was quite back on track. Quite honestly, she was glad for that. She was more than a little overwhelmed by the recent events, plus worrying about whatever it was that the Homunculi planned to do, so having some kind of stable routine was seriously godsend. Sure, she had her routines with Envy, too, and they were good in their own way, but his mood was horribly unpredictable and that tended to cancel out any benefit a routine could have.

Of course, routine brought a really awful thing with it, too. She had to go to Lily’s house again soon enough, and when that day arrived, she was feeling more dread than ever. If she’d felt good things about Envy the last time she went there and she hadn’t even given up resisting him yet, how would things feel now that she’d given up and grown to like him just slightly more? She didn’t want to find out, but she knew she’d have no choice. Knowing, though, that she had no excuse to look nervous anymore, she spent most of her energy in keeping herself looking happy as she was driven to Herman and Lily’s house. She had to focus on happy thoughts, yes, such as how happy she’d be if the life she remembered turned out to be real, or how comfortable her new pajamas were and how great it was to sleep in comfortable clothes rather than work clothes, or how she’d definitely have a delightful bubble bath soon after going home. It was enough. She was smiling even as they arrived at the mansion where she knew she’d be put through what she could only describe as an ordeal.

The overly-fancy meal was routine here too. She didn’t mind it too much anymore, even if it did make her feel uncomfortable and like a beggar at a palace. Frankly, after Envy’s constant jabs and insults, she had to admit it was starting to get difficult to outright offend her or make her feel truly insignificant. She guessed there was some silver lining to the whole thing. And after the meal and smalltalk, there was her talk with Lily. That was also routine in so far as it happened. The actual contents of the conversation were always different.

She saw the strange incense holder again, and, once more, it had some of that purple fluid. Slightly more of it, in fact. But she knew that she shouldn’t focus much on it, so she turned away from it. She’d check it once more before leaving, though. For now, she instead focused on her hostess. Despite her happy and loving marriage, Lily struck her as a very lonely person, far more than she’d ever admit. Alice knew only too well what it was like to stay inside living quarters for most of the time. Of course, one could hardly compare the mansion to the cell she’d been kept in before her forced marriage, and it was hardly fair to say that someone’s voluntary isolation could really be on par with forced isolation. But Alice had to wonder whether the mansion was not some sort of prison for Lily. It was a beautiful one, yes, but still a prison, as was her strange paranoia against people who weren’t in love. The fact that Lily would take a girl like her under her wing like this, even if there was plenty that they had in common, didn’t make sense to Alice outside the context of someone who was desperately lonely. That said, she wasn’t the one that was good at reading people. That was more Envy’s job. Perhaps she should discuss this with him later.

As Lily sat down, the sweet fumes began to reach Alice. With each breath, she could feel her emotions starting to feel more and more confused. She knew the confusion would clear up soon enough only to be replaced by those disturbing positive feelings. She almost felt as though she were being possessed and she hated it, but there was nothing she could do. She’d just have to deal with it.

“Well, it’s so nice to get to talk again like this, wouldn’t you think?” Lily asked her.

“I did miss it,” Alice lied with a sincere-looking nod.

“Has my advice been of help yet, dear? You know, if it’s not an indiscretion to ask.”

“Yes, thank you,” Alice said. It was a lie again, but she had little choice. “We’re taking it slow, of course. It’s just better for us that way.”

“That’s wonderful, dear! That’s great to know. We have much to discuss still. I hoped we would be further into the things I want to share with you, but, well, that’s okay. We’ll get to it eventually.”

She was genuinely curious about what Lily wanted to share. The whole thing seemed so… mysterious, really. The Homunculi seemed highly interested in whatever she was doing, so it had to be something fairly big. Due to what she knew from them, she had gotten a few hints from her visits here. She could hardly wait to learn what it was that Lily was working on. She hoped that the things Lily planned to share would include whatever she was working on. And she also knew that the Homunculi hoped the same.

“I really look forward to it,” she said.

“Well, let’s get started, then.”

Alice nodded and once more listened to Lily drone on and on about these strange concepts of love. This time, she was talking about it more like a substance than ever. And then she mentioned something that completely captured her attention.

“A lot of people turn to finding the Philosopher’s Stone as a way to gain more and solve the needs and wants of the world. But when you think about it, the stories about the Philosopher’s Stone tend to be about suffering, perhaps because of Equivalent Exchange. After all, to gain something so great, you’d need to give up a lot, right?”

“That’d make sense, mmhmm,” Alice replied.

“Well, love doesn’t work like that. When have you heard of a true love story that ends poorly because of love? The tragedies are always about external circumstances, and the love is always the good part of the whole story!”

Alice could name several. There were several stories of young “love” ending in tragedy because of what she could only call stupidity, for starters. And being forced to have unrequited feelings for Envy with this incense despite the Homunculus’s sadistic ways was not something that could end well, either. Still, she just smiled and nodded.

“Instead of the Philosopher’s Stone, people should be looking for distilled love. Love is a fountain! One drop yields two and so on! Of course, the expression of different people is different, and even great love may not be easily distilled sometimes. There’s a lot of factors involved. Oh, I’m sorry! I was rambling. As I was saying, love is important for the world, and it all begins with communication.”

She began talking about how communication was important in any relationship and one of the pillars of love. It was nothing that Alice didn’t already know. It seemed to her that a lot of what Lily was saying was simply common sense. That said, common sense was something that was really easy to get… in theory. In practice, things were never that simple, she thought. Still, she listened politely until it was time to leave. As she stood up she stole a glance at the incense holder. She was pretty sure there was more of that purple fluid now. This was something she’d have to report.

She felt even happier than during her last visit when she saw Envy in his Evan disguise coming to pick her up. It was harder than ever to resist the temptation to run to him and kiss him or something. She felt sure that if she didn’t fear his retaliation so much she would have been unable to resist the temptation. However, even her altered emotional state couldn’t erase the fact that he was dangerous. She was smitten, but not stupid.

“I suppose you again want to wait till we get home,” he said after they drove away.

“Yes, please.”

“You know, during the course of these years I’ve known you, there’s been a lot of awkward stuff. I mean, I’ve even seen you with barely any clothes on. And, by the way, that coat? I never actually told you because it was really awkward, but it didn’t exactly cover everything all of the time. Especially not when you went to sleep and I dragged you out of bed. I’ve seen you lose your composure entirely and cry and be at your most vulnerable. And you’ve admitted you like me. And then that time you came to this house that you basically implied that you felt like putting those breeding techniques into practice! With ME, even! And then there was our wedding night. Seriously, I don’t think you can possibly tell me anything that’d make things any more awkward than they’ve been.”

She listened, but her mind was focused on what he’d said about the coat.

“Wait. Wait! Did you just… say that the coat didn’t cover everything?!”

“Well, yeah. You went to sleep wearing it and it’s not like you stayed still!”

“And you didn’t say anything?!”

“Well, no! What was I supposed to say?! ‘Oh, hey, by the way, your right breast is showing’? Or mention the REST of what the coat wasn’t covering? It’s not like I wanted to dwell on it! You covered it up quickly enough, anyways! And besides, it’s not like it was anything I didn’t already know was there!”

She really wished he’d never told her this. He was right, it was incredibly awkward. The rest of what he’d mentioned was, too, but that one had to be the worst. She fell silent again.

“Anyways, my point is, whatever you have to report can’t really be worse than all that.”

“I’d still rather wait, if you don’t mind. I feel safer if you just focus on the road rather than on a report,” she said, her voice still sounding rather upset.

“Suit yourself.”

She was silent and sulky until they were back home. When he’d sat down to listen to her report, well, she couldn’t be silent anymore. She had to tell him about what she’d seen and heard.

“Mostly she spoke about how important communication is in a relationship,” she said. “It’s all boring stuff you wouldn’t want to hear about anyways.”

“Were your feelings still affected?” he asked.

“Yes. Again, more than the previous time. Almost uncontrollably.”

“Awkward…” he muttered.

“Well… you asked.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep going.”

“She spoke of the Philosopher’s Stone, though.”

“What?! What did she say?!”

“She said that people often turned to trying to find it to get more than they have. But that those stories tended to end in tragedy. She says it’s probably because of Equivalent Exchange, since, like, to gain something you must give something up. And the Philosopher’s Stone is a big deal so it probably costs a lot.”

“What else?” Envy asked.

“She said that people should instead turn to love. She mentioned something about distilling love, and about one drop making two, but not everyone being able to produce it at the same rate and so on,” she replied.

Envy said nothing. He looked almost scared.  

“The purple liquid… I noticed it again. And… the weird thing is, there was more of it when I left than there was before. Not much, but there was a difference.”

She had never seen Envy so pale or looking so scared.

“If this is what I think it is…” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

“Then what? Envy, what’s going on? What is Lily doing?”

“What makes you think I’d answer that question?”

“I’m the one going in there to give you all these reports. I need to know.”

“I don’t think you’re in any immediate danger, if you must know,” he answered. “But Lily’s little stunt could cost us EVERYTHING if I’m right. We need to confirm...”

“She said she wants to be further along in something she wants to share with me. I suppose that means there’s an end to it.”

“Yes, likely there is. One or two more visits should do it. Maybe three. She’s given you a lot more than she thinks, mostly because we know more than you do, and she doesn’t know that. I don’t think you’ll really get to the end of what she wants to share before we have what we need.”

“Do you know what she’s doing to me, then? Why I feel the way I do there?”

“Well… I have a theory. But I need to confirm it. That purple liquid is the key, I think. When you go back, I need you to check again whether or not there’s more of it when you leave.”

“Alright.”

“I’m going to report this to Father.”

With that, he left, looking outright unsteady. He had so little color that his skin was practically transparent. She wondered if he was going to faint, but he seemed to be relatively fine. As his footsteps died away, she wondered what it was that he was thinking. He had a theory, but what was it? And why did it terrify him so much? It didn’t exactly bode very well, definitely. Not for her, not for him, not for the rest of his siblings, not for his Father. She may not know what their plans were, but even if they were bad, she had to help them. She’d come this far already, all she could really do was to keep going. It wasn’t like she could truly bear to stop, not now, not after she’d survived to this point. She just hoped the people of Amestris would be fine, but she could no longer bear to even think of being the one to help them.


	25. Prelude to Pandemonium

## Chapter 25 - Prelude to Pandemonium

Of course, things never quite go as expected. The next time that Alice was supposed to go to Lily and Herman’s house, they had to cancel because Lily was ill with some cold. They knew that Alice’s health was relatively frail, so they weren’t going to risk her catching an illness. Alice was relieved. Envy, however, cursed at her for several minutes the day she reported that the meeting had been canceled. Not only that, but Vincent was back to trying to get closer to Alice. He’d apparently gotten over whatever sadness he’d had when she’d gotten married and there wasn’t any Solaris to talk to, either. Much as she liked him, she just really hoped that Envy wouldn’t see this. She tried to be relatively distant, but Vincent always made her feel bad about it, mentioning that she was distant since her wedding, and that he didn’t want to lose the friendship. Not wanting to make him suspicious of anything, she relented, but then had to worry about the fear that Envy might see it. He seemed relatively more busy these days, but she still was afraid.

Of course, just as things had gone poorly enough with the Lily situation, they went poorly now. Despite the fact that Envy was so busy she barely saw him during the day, the one time that Vincent had said hello with a friendly kind of hug, was the one day that Envy decided to go eat in the diner at the same time that Alice was there. She only saw him after he’d already seen her and, for one second, she saw the nastiest glare on his eyes. The next moment, he was perfectly amiable again. He even went to sit with Alice and the rest of the people she tended to eat with. She expected him to be all silent, but he wasn’t. In fact, he kept the entire table entertained with conversation about quite a few different topics. Alice was, once more, surprised at how charismatic he could be. She really wished he’d use that charm on her once in a while instead of his more normal ways. If he were nice, she might even be somewhat less terrified of liking him. She wasn’t actually fooled, though. No amount of wishful thinking was going to change the fact that she’d pay for this later that night, during dinner. She might even be forced to skip dinner.

When she went home, she fully expected Envy to retaliate in some way. He looked upset enough and he did shove her into the room. But he said nothing and left. She knew he generally got dinner at about this time. She was likely going to be forced to watch him eat while she got nothing. He’d done that before and he’d found it rather amusing. Much to her surprise, he came back with dinner for both of them.

“You’re… not angry?” she asked after he sat down.

“About?”

“You know… Vincent.”

“Oh, wow, look, the pet DOES remember its orders and my feelings on the matter! I was worrying it was too stupid to remember!”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to avoid him, but he won’t let me.”

“What does he do? Hold a gun to your head?”

“No, he just gets all suspicious and makes me feel terrible.”

“So he manipulates you. Wonderful. You’d think you’d have learned by now how to detect and avoid that.”

“I just don’t want him talking to Herman and messing everything up. I know they’re fairly close.”

“Yes, yes. You keep saying that. I don’t care,” he said and sighed deeply. “At least, I’d like to say that, but if he does go and talk to Herman, it could mess things up.”

“So… you’re not going to punish me or anything?”

“What’s the use, anyways? You’re just going to do it over and over again. I get your logic, but really, both things are bad anyways.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Eat up. I brought something I think you like a lot.”

She did. It was her favourite soup and some delicious chicken with a mixture of her favourite vegetables. This was incredibly weird for him. He had taken the time to get her something she especially liked instead of punishing her? It was completely unlike him.

“Why are you doing something nice instead of… you know, doing something to punish me?”

“I would get no amusement from it right now,” he shrugged. “Besides, since you went through that whole thing with Lily, I thought I might compensate you somehow, but honestly, I forgot about it till today. So I guess this is plenty compensation.”

That… kind of made sense, she supposed. Kind of. Truthfully, it still seemed odd for him, but, well… he was unpredictable for the most part. About the only predictable thing about him was that it was very, very easy to anger him. But, well, she’d given up resisting. She was still too drained to try to start again and start questioning every single thing he did. If he was going to do something nice for her once in a while, well, she’d just let him and welcome it. The food was delicious. She didn’t really care about anything else at the moment.

After she was done eating, she took a long bubble bath. This was another of the few happy parts of her existence. She was very glad she got constant access to this, really. It was even rare that Envy would bother to even try to get her out of there. He’d threatened to drag her out a few times when he was in a bad mood, but for the most part, he seemed to not care at all what she did. She was pretty sure she could probably dance on top of the table naked and, at most, he’d turn to face the wall until she began acting sane again. Sometimes she wondered if there was something she could do that would make him uncomfortable enough to leave the room. It would certainly be amusing, and it was great to think about it and all, but she knew that, in practice, anything that would make him bother to act was just as likely to make him retaliate as it was likely to make him leave. It was an incredibly unsafe thing to try.

She still wasn’t sure she believed him about just being nice to her because he wouldn’t be amused at retaliating against her. When was he NOT amused at causing her misery in some way or form? He often enough had to outright seek all sorts of excuses to be nasty. He’d also sometimes given her an extra thing or two, and just a nicer meal than usual was pretty much the kind of thing he tended to do. She obviously wasn’t worried about him giving her something extra. She was worried about him not being nasty. She’d seen his angry face. She knew he wanted to act against her or Vincent. Why didn’t he? She gave the matter a few minutes of consideration before she decided that there was definitely no way she could know for sure. Nor would it matter much if she could. If he was going to do something, she couldn’t stop him anyways. It wasn’t like he could really do anything much, aside from making her head forcefully meet a wall or something. And, well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done that before. She knew he’d get her healed either way. She doubted he would do that, though. Whatever one could say about Envy, he did seem slightly less prone to outright violence nowadays. There might have been little actual improvement, but there was no doubt that there had been changes.

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Vincent seemed perfectly alright, too, the next time Alice saw him. She was honestly relieved that Envy had chosen not to retaliate against him. For a moment there, she’d been worried. She didn’t know why he’d suddenly chosen to be nice, but she was glad he had. For just a moment she dared to hope that he wasn’t as hopeless as she’d thought he was. But she dismissed the notion quickly enough. She’d known him long enough to accept that he was just not nice, even if he did nice things once in a while. She could not even begin to fathom the kinds of demons that tormented that twisted soul of his, but to think that all it would take to soften his heart was a relationship was simply naive. Maybe he was just in a forlorn kind of mood. When he was troubled like that, he tended to be somewhat nicer than usual for whatever reason. Mostly, though, she figured he’d just given up doing anything about Vincent. Really, it was about time he realized that it was just best to do nothing about it. Vincent might not be as important as Herman, but he still could cause them trouble. It was just a good idea to keep him happy lest he told Herman things that could endanger the mission.

It was still a while before she had to go back to Lily’s. She was actually a bit anxious about that. After all, she knew that the Homunculi were pretty close to finishing their plans, whatever those were. She also knew that the closer that day came, the more dangerous Lily’s research was for them. And if things went sour for them, they were going to go even worse for her. So she really hoped that things got back on track. She couldn’t fail the mission, not now.

A few days later, there was talk at work about some dangerous criminal that had escaped the night before. While there was very little information about it, people seemed somewhat spooked.

“Hey, do you know how to get back here to the lair from work?” Envy asked her that night.

She’d been walking the same path for a very long time by now. It would be strange if she hadn’t learned it by then.

“Yes. But I can’t get all the way here because of the chimeras,” she replied.

“Mm, yes, that’s right. And sick leave wouldn’t be an option, either…” he mused out loud. “Well, there’s no choice. If you just, y’know, head back to the sewers and stay fairly close to the entrance, I’ll go pick you up there. It’s just going to be really, really late. So maybe have dinner at the military diner first. Come back late. And don’t take that necklace of yours. I’d hate for you to get mugged or something at night.”

“But… why?”

“Look, don’t ask, okay? But I’ll be very busy and it’s just safer for you to do as I say.”

“Does it have anything to do with that criminal that escaped capture yesterday?”

“... Well… yes.”

“Wouldn’t it be a better idea to just… stay here?”

“Yes, yes it would. Unfortunately, can you imagine how it’ll look if you are away and this criminal attacks? You have to go to work. I have to do my job and keep an eye on him. Gluttony isn’t here to do that for me, and Pride can only work after nightfall, really.”

She had no idea why that was, aside from having to pretend he was asleep.

“Wouldn’t it be a better idea to come back home early?”

“Well, if you want to spend the entire day sitting at the stairs to the sewers, be my guest. I don’t think this criminal would strike before nightfall, but I will have to be gathering intelligence all day. So it should be safe to come back late, so long as it’s not too much after nightfall. Take a book or something to pass the time.”

“Okay, sir.”

He grinned and gave her a rough pat on the head, heading away to the bathroom in order to take a bath. She supposed he was pretty stressed out or otherwise nervous about something because he took a very long time. All of the scented soaps and bubble-making salts he had were for calming people down. He was pretty practical and she doubted he’d take so long if he weren’t trying to get those kinds of effects. No one needed an entire hour of soaking in lavender and other tranquilizing scents just to get clean.

The next day was completely normal. No one seemed at all worried about the criminal fugitive that had evaded capture the night before. Alice was worried, but she pretended not to be. She doubted Envy would be spending his entire day gathering intelligence if the fugitive were not extremely dangerous. About the only mention the criminal got, however, was someone saying they were sure the military would catch him today. After all, the famous Fullmetal Alchemist was on the case, and they’d even brought the Flame Alchemist from East City. She’d read about the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang, in some of the books Envy had brought her. He was known as the Hero of Ishval and his alchemy had been key in securing a victory there. Frankly, she very much wanted to meet such a celebrity, and her wish was granted when she was asked to bring a pile of papers to him. She very happily complied, taking them to where she was told that Mustang was. She knocked on the door to the office, and a young, strict-looking woman with blonde hair opened it.

“Um, hello. I was asked to deliver these papers to Colonel Roy Mustang?” Alice said. She didn’t really mean for it to sound like a question, but she was rather nervous.

“Oh, yes. Come in.”

Roy was sitting at the desk. He was much younger than she expected the Hero of Ishval to be. She’d thought he’d be a grizzled old man, but the Flame Alchemist actually seemed not too much older than Envy did, and about the same age that “Evan” seemed to be. He had dark eyes and black hair and he had an air of confidence about him that made him seem like a natural-born leader. She felt even more shy than before as she approached him, almost like a mouse.

“You’re Colonel Roy Mustang, right?” she asked, hating the fact that even her voice sounded almost mouse-like.

“Yeah,” he said and gave her a friendly smile. “No need to sound scared. What are these papers about?”

“I don’t know, sir. I’m not allowed to look at them.”

“Alright, then. Thanks, uh, what’s your name?”

“Alice, sir.”

“Well! Thanks, Alice.”

“Um, say, sir. I know you’re here to deal with the criminal. Do you think that it will be safe to be out in the streets tonight?”

“Of course! You don’t have to worry about it. We’ll have the criminal apprehended in no time!”

She supposed that if he weren’t very good at what he did, he wouldn’t be called the Hero of Ishval.

“That’s really great to hear, sir. Please excuse me, then.”

Mustang nodded, and she was shown out by the blonde lady. Alice was quite delighted! She’d met a celebrity! Sure, she’d met the Fuhrer, and he’d even been at her wedding, but that was just because of Envy. This celebrity she’d met on her own and he was very nice and it had been great! She wished she could have actually had a conversation with him, though. He seemed like an impressive kind of person to meet. She’d met Brigadier General Basque Grand once, for example, and though he was pretty impressive too, it was a different kind of it. Grand was a huge man, with a severe-looking face, and an impressive mustache that looked as though it might cut people into pieces. He just looked scary. Mustang didn’t look like much, physically. In fact, she was pretty sure Envy looked more muscular than Mustang did. And yet, there was something about Mustang that made him almost intimidating. It wasn’t only his obvious ambition. This was a man with more strength of character than most other people she’d ever seen. She was very sorry that she was just an errand girl that would never really get to actually interact much more with the Flame Alchemist. He would obviously be surrounded by impressive people, like that blonde woman, who looked about as imposing as the Colonel, even if Alice had no idea who she was.

She felt oddly distracted the rest of the day due to the whole thing with the criminal being at large, and the Flame Alchemist being in town, along with the Fullmetal Alchemist. She wanted to meet the Fullmetal Alchemist, but she was not asked to bring anything to him. Instead, during a break, she actually sought him out. She had to ask around, but eventually she found him at the diner. Or, rather, she was surprised to find the armored young guy named Alphonse she’d met years ago, and, next to him, a diminutive, well, kid. From his face, she figured he was a teenager, but he was even shorter than Envy was (and she already thought him a bit of a runt, though she’d never told him so). She was pretty aware that she, having the same height as Envy, was short, so she was always surprised to see people that were even shorter. She was, in fact, so surprised at how this person was too small to be in the military that she was momentarily distracted from the surprise at finding Alphonse here and now.

“Hey! You’re that girl! From before!” Alphonse exclaimed.

She looked at him and then at the little young man next to him. The short guy had piercing golden eyes and long blond hair tied in a braid. She’d seen someone like that before… but where? It took her a moment to recognize him. That’s right! It was the little kid that had taken the State Alchemy exam! She hadn’t recognized him only because, well, she would have expected the kid to be, well, taller. Alphonse hadn’t taken the exam… that meant the little alchemist was actually the Fullmetal Alchemist!

“You two know each other?” the golden-eyed boy asked.

“We met once, on the day you took your State Alchemist exam,” Alphonse replied. He then turned to Alice. “What was your name again? It was Alice, right?”

“Yes.”

“I remember you looked really sad.”

She felt a bit scared. She was supposed to keep things like that hidden!

“Oh! No, no. I’m fine. I’m even much happier now. I’m married and everything,” she said just slightly quickly.

“Congratulations, then!”

“Well, it’s nice to say hi and all, but we really need to get going. Come on, Al,” the Fullmetal Alchemist said.

“W… wait!” she exclaimed.

The two brothers stopped and turned back to her.

“You’re the Fullmetal Alchemist, right?” she asked.

“Yeah. Name’s Edward Elric.”

“I just wanted to say thank you! I know you’re here because of the criminal. Thank you! I hope you get him!”

“Thanks!” Edward said.

He and Alphonse left. Alice was almost giddy now. She’d met not one, but TWO celebrities! And it had turned out that someone she’d met before was the brother of one of them! She hadn’t actually expected Alphonse to remember her. She wondered if she had really looked so sad that he wouldn’t forget her. For the rest of the day, she was very distracted, even more than she already had been. When her work shift ended, she took her time idling about in the rest area, then went back to have her dinner. Afterwards, she went to read. It was very late by the time she remembered what Envy had asked her to do. She was supposed to go back soon after nightfall, and, well, night had fallen ages ago. She knew how to get home, though. That wasn’t a problem. What was a problem was that, if Envy got there before she did, she’d be in trouble. She hurried out of the headquarters.

The night seemed perfectly calm, with stars shining serenely and few people out in the streets. She knew that somewhere out there, the military was working on capturing the criminal that was at large. However, such things didn’t concern her. Her only concern, really, was getting to the sewers before Envy did. She couldn’t walk as fast as she wanted to, though. It had been a fairly long day, and her feet ached quite badly. But, well, it was the best she could do, and it would have to do. As she walked, however, she suddenly saw a huge red glow cover the sky of Amestris. She was very familiar with that kind of glow. It was the same glow that Envy’s Philosopher’s Stone gave off, except she’d never seen something on this scale. The entire sky seemed aglow with red electricity. And not only that, but the air was becoming chilly. Looking down, she saw tiny icicles starting to form in the corners of the streets. Her pulse quickened. Was this the doing of the Homunculi? Was this why Envy had asked her to be inside the sewers by this hour? She quickened her pace despite the pain. The air was getting colder, and she wasn’t wearing clothes that would keep her warm if the city was frozen. The sudden cold was making all the joints in her body ache, too. She found it hard to move now, and her steps were becoming slower and slower. Still, she pressed on, even as she began to feel terror grip her. As she walked, though, she suddenly saw a gigantic pillar of ice advancing towards her. She shrieked. There was no way she’d be able to move away in time. She was going to die here, and she didn’t even have time to even think of what that meant.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a pretty small figure running at a pretty impressive speed. Someone that was trying to get away from the ice, no doubt. Except the figure was running towards her. And before she had a chance to even fully register this, she felt the figure practically slam into her, with more force than she thought such a small figure should have, and she felt a strong arm under her shoulder, and across her chest, practically picking her up and dragging her away as she figure kept running and, once away from the pillar’s path, was seemingly unable to stop. Instead, the figure twisted around and fell on the pavement with a rather loud noise that she only perceived because she was so close to it, as the ice pillar drowned it out. The figure didn’t let go of Alice as they both fell, Alice ending up on top of her saviour. Both were breathing pretty heavily. She was aware of the sound. After a moment, she looked at her saviour in the eyes. They were purple and slitted and very familiar. But could it really be Envy? She couldn’t say that name in case it was someone else.

“You?” she asked, still out of breath.

“You idiot!” he replied.

It was definitely Envy’s voice, too. That would also explain the cracks in the pavement where he’d hit the ground as they fell.

“It really is you,” she managed to gasp.

The fear and the cold were really starting to wear her out. She was trembling and feeling weak.

“What the hell were you thinking?! I told you to get home just after nightfall!”

“I’m sorry… I lost track of time…”

“OBVIOUSLY,” he spat. “You almost DIED here!”

“I’m so sorry…”

He was not wearing his Evan disguise, but rather some random civilian disguise, and that ugly coat of his on top. Alice noticed that she’d dropped her cane as she’d been pulled out of the way of the ice pillar. It was long gone, now, too. She managed to sit up as Envy got up.

“Whatever. You’re not dead, so that’s at least something. But if I hadn’t been on my way back, you WOULD be dead! Now, get up!”

She tried to, but between the pain due to the cold and the weakness from the fear, she was unable to.

“I lost my cane,” she said.

“I’ll get you a new one and ask the officers to keep a lookout for yours. Now, get up.”

“I can’t.”

Rolling his eyes, he picked her up from the pavement and helped her to her feet. Knowing that she was going to slow him down, he just slung her over his shoulder and quickly made his way to the sewer entrance. Alice didn’t struggle. She was much too hurt and exhausted to. Any onlookers that might’ve seen them had long since fled the ice. They were unseen and undisturbed.

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Alice passed out a few times on the way home due to the effects of the fear. But soon enough they were back at the sewers, and even though she asked Envy to let her down, he refused.

“You walk too slowly!” he exclaimed. “I’m not going to waste time dragging you back to the room.”

She was still shivering from the cold (and, she suspected, fear as well) as they made their way down the tunnels. She was a bit glad for Envy’s body warmth, but at the same time, his shoulders were so bony that she was already feeling hurt from being carried around. However, until Envy put her down, she had no other choice. Eventually, they got to the room and he tossed her on the bed.

“You really are an idiot! How the hell did you manage to lose track of time like that?!” he demanded.

“I was distracted. I met some very interesting people today.”

“What?! Who?!”

“The Flame Alchemist, for one. And then I saw that armored guy again. You know, the one I saw when we went to watch the alchemy test. His brother is that kid who took that test!”

“Oh, so you met the Fullmetal pipsqueak as well.”

“That’s not a nice thing to call someone!”

“Who cares? He’s just a tiny little thing. An important resource, though. So is the Flame Alchemist. I hope you told them nothing of importance.”

“I just thanked them for coming to take care of that criminal and wished them luck.”

“Good.”

“Speaking of that… what was with that ice out there?!”

“Well. It was the Freezing Alchemist that escaped yesterday. That got a bit out of hand.”

“You mean the criminal was a State Alchemist?!”

“Yup. Went kind of crazy. Wasn’t expecting that. We were expecting him to go crazy in the North later this year, but he came here instead and tried to freeze Central over.”

“That’s horrible! Many people could’ve died!”

“Well, he did kill quite a few officers, actually. But oh well. It was worth the try. By now, the whole situation’s taken care of. The problem,” he said, turning to her with a sharp look, “is idiots like YOU that we don’t want dead that still go out of their way to get in trouble by not doing what they’re asked to do!”

Years back, she would have been horrified at Envy implying he didn’t care about the dead officers. Now, though, she had no real reaction to it. She actually felt a bit bad at remembering how she would have felt about this before. Her more present worry, however, was fully placating Envy. He hadn’t actually harmed her, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.

“I’m sorry, sir. Really, I am. I didn’t mean to lose track of time like this.”

“If you think sappy apologies are going to make things better, you’ve got another thing coming. The only reason I’m not beating the everliving hell out of you for this stupid stunt is because your pathetic, frail body probably can’t stand it! I actually got HURT because of you!”

There was nothing much she could say or do, aside from letting Envy get the anger out of his system. He yelled at her some more, insulting her in rather humiliating ways until she was in tears, and then stomping off to get one of his calming baths. Even as she tried to calm her tears, she figured that, well, at least she was lucky enough to escape without any more broken bones. She went to sleep before Envy was out and could think of some other nasty thing to do. Despite having nightmares, probably due to the stress of the night’s events, she was too tired to even wake.

The next day, because she had no cane, she had to stay home. Envy was frustrated about this, but at least since she had been seen going out late from Central, they could use the story of her having caught a cold due to the chill from the Freezing Alchemist’s attack. Of course, she’d have to miss several days of work because no frail person recovers from a cold in a day, but that’d have to do. Alice was pretty unhappy about this too. Envy basically fulfilled the minimum requirements to keep her sane with his company. But her job made things far more tolerable. A few days weren’t going to be absolutely terrible, but she still hated it. That said, she was really very grateful to Envy for his saving her life. She knew that it was technically his duty, yes, but in the end, he’d had to risk himself in order to save her. He could have just as easily said there was nothing he could do and simply have let her die. Whatever his reason, the fact was, she wasn’t frozen and crushed by that pillar of ice. She was thankful for that.

At lunch time, he did come back with her old cane. It was, however, broken and twisted almost beyond recognition. Alice looked at it in dismay. She’d always liked that cane. It was comfortable and it was convenient. And now it was wrecked.

“Well. They found it. But I don’t think this will really work for you anymore,” he said.

“That’s awful! What am I going to do now?!” she exclaimed.

“Well, while we sure could have someone fix it with alchemy, it’s not worth it. I’ll just get you a new one.”

“I’ve used that one for years. I’m pretty accustomed to it.”

“So it’s old, then! What’s the problem? About time you get a new one, right?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m giving you a choice here. This piece of junk is worthless now. So what kind of cane would you like?”

“Something that’s similar to the old one,” she said with a sigh of resignation. “Preferably nice-looking, with a soft grip.”

“Nice-looking? Okay. Got it.”

“But not gaudy!” she exclaimed suddenly, remembering Envy’s dreadful fashion sense.

“I thought you said you wanted something nice!”

“I’d rather have something elegant, but not flashy. Just something simple.”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do.”

He left soon after. She didn’t really have much faith in whatever choice he might make, but what else could she do? She couldn’t walk a very long distance without the cane, and the broken, twisted metal that was left of her old cane was going to take her nowhere. She’d just have to trust that he would pick something that wasn’t too terrible and wait. Maybe she ought to read a book, too, to pass the time. Frankly, after how close she’d been to death, she didn’t want to stay idle too long. This wasn’t the first time she’d felt like she’d stared death in the eye. There had been THAT other time, when she’d tried to escape. What a fool she’d been! There was no escape, and cooperating turned out to be far better for her than the few times she hadn’t. Certainly, she’d never again been beaten within an inch of death. And there was now, too. She felt it was almost ironic that the same person that had left her so close to death the first time was the same one who saved her life this last time. The whole thing had been over so quickly. She’d barely had time to even think before Envy rushed to her aid. And yet, if she was too idle, her mind would go over the event like it was in slow motion, and she would start trembling again. She couldn’t bear to allow that. Even reading about obscure wars was preferable to that.

When Envy came back later, close to dinner time, he had her new cane, though it was wrapped in brown paper. He handed it over to her without a word. She kind of dreaded opening it, but she did anyway. She was much surprised. It was a sleek black cane with a red handle. It wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind, but it was at least not gaudy and it was actually pretty decent. It was pretty comfortable, too, and just the right weight and balance. It was not her old cane, and it wasn’t foldable, but it would do. She could get used to this.

“Okay, well, thank you. It’s pretty good.”

“Yeah, great. It better be. Took me a while to find that.”

“Again, thanks.”

“Is that simple enough for the picky pet’s tastes?” he asked in a very mocking tone.

“It’s pretty much perfect.”

“Well. Now you have to wait a few days and then you can go back to work. Also, I thought you might like to know that Isaac McDougal, the Freezing Alchemist, is dead.”

“Dead? I thought they were only going to capture him!”

“Well, he resisted,” he said with a grin. “So he’s dead. Frankly, it’s pretty convenient for us, so I’m glad. I thought for a moment things were going to go a bit sour, but all’s well that ends well.”

She shuddered at the pleased way he was saying this in. He was highly enjoying the fact that the rogue alchemist had been killed. She really hated getting reminders about the kinds of things these Homunculi did. It made it harder to keep cooperating with them, even though she knew she had no real choice in the matter.

“I thought you would be happier. His little stunt nearly cost you your life. Of course, if you had listened to me instead of being stupid about it, you would have been perfectly safe.”

“I just don’t like knowing when people are killed,” she said. “Who could’ve even killed him, anyways? With that kind of alchemy, could anyone even approach him?”

“Well, there’s a really big artery around the shoulder, around here,” he said, running his finger down her shoulder, next to her neck. “Slice that, and, well, you won’t live more than a few moments. As to how one would get close to him, well, all it takes is speed, really.”

“Did you…?”

“No. I was too busy dragging you back here. I gave his location to the one who DID, though. I wasn’t going to chase him down anyways. I hate fighting.”

She nodded slightly, regretting having asked for the details. There was nothing at all she could do about the Freezing Alchemist’s fate. She didn’t actually know him, anyways, and he had attacked the whole city, and this had nearly killed her, and several people had apparently died. He was a terrorist. She tried to convince herself that it was just best for things to end this way. It was easier, though, to just put things out of her mind. The best way to do this, she guessed, was to read. Envy brought her books about legends and fairy tales, but only a few. Aside from that, these days of rest, she’d only have Envy’s company. While that was far from ideal, she figured she might as well make the best of it. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood, so he wasn’t as insufferable as he could be otherwise.  Aside from having gotten into the habit of patting her on the head as though she were a dog, he was pretty decent. Or, at least, he was decent until the last day of the break. That evening, he brought a suitcase along with dinner, and he looked extremely upset. She didn’t say much, sitting down at the table before he even had something to say. She knew that if she waited, he would only have an excuse to be nasty. Though, given his glare, she wondered if it might not have been a better idea to give him an easier excuse so that he could vent some frustration instead of having him look for a new and nastier excuse. He sat down grumpily and began to eat. Neither of them spoke during the meal, but even after they were done, he looked so angry that it was starting to make Alice pretty worried.

“I hear that there are some places around here where you can get a good massage to reduce stress,” she said.

“Are you trying to imply I’m stressed out?!”

“You… just look like you’ve had a really bad day.”

“You’d be right,” he sighed.

“Would you tell me about it?” she asked, knowing that a distracted Envy was far less likely to be aggressive.

“It might actually be convenient for once, since it will affect you too.”

“It… will?”

“Yeah,” he said and sighed. “You know what, you’re right, much as I hate to admit it. I AM pretty stressed out. This is going to be AWFUL. Maybe I should ask YOU to give me one of those massages to relieve stress.”

Much as she’d rather keep her distance from her volatile husband, she figured getting closer and doing that would be a small price to pay to keep him relatively placated.

“I’m not at all a professional, though.”

“I don’t really care. Act like a good wife for once!”

She seriously wanted to retort by asking him if he ever planned on being a good husband, but he was capable of hurting her a lot without even trying, so she only barely managed to bite her tongue and keep from asking that.

“So you really do want that?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you about this new problem in the meantime.”

“Alright, sir. Please sit somewhere comfortable then and I’ll see what I can do.”

He sat on the bed. Alice sat behind him. He really was tense, she could feel it in each of the muscle strands on his shoulders. The red nodes felt strange under her fingers, too, almost as though they had some kind of current under them. But mostly, she was surprised at how he definitely did seem very stressed out.

“Okay, so, you know Lust went to Lior, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well. Everything was going great. And then the Fullmetal pipsqueak went there and stuck his nose into things and wrecked ALL our plans!”

“I thought the Fullmetal Alchemist worked for the military, and, thus, for you.”

“It’s a lot more complicated than that. There’s plans most people aren’t aware of. Lior was one of those. Now I’m going to have to go down there and fix everything.”

“You have to, I suppose.”

“No, not really. Lust can actually fix everything herself. I’m really just going out there to help her. It’s not exactly convenient for me because I have work here I’ll have to neglect, and I’ve got to drag YOU down there too because otherwise there’s no one to take care of you. It’s seriously such a huge inconvenience, and yet it’s probably our best bet.”

So, he was actually doing this just to be helpful and NICE?! Well, she guessed no one could be a complete monster. Even Envy. She said nothing though, and mostly continued to rub his back, mostly with her thumbs. Her hands ached, but at the very least, he seemed to be much calmer now. She wasn’t sure if he actually was, though.

“So, what would you consider being a good husband?” she asked cautiously after a while of silence, mostly to test the waters.

“I’m an excellent husband. Husbands are providers, right? I provide you with everything!” he replied.

“Well… yes,” she said. She didn’t exactly sound very happy with that answer, mostly because she highly disagreed with that being what marked a good husband.

“What? Do you want something else? Don’t tell me you want a stress-relief massage or something! Not happening! I’m supposed to be your husband, not your wife!”

“Not that I’m asking you to, but a lot of husbands actually don’t just bring food and water and that.”

“Yeah, and most husbands don’t have the strength to snap their wives in half, either! If you really, really wanted something like that, I could do that instead of buying you something for the month or something. But, really, I’d probably just break something. It’s not exactly easy to hold back my strength.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m not asking you that or anything. I’m just saying that the whole thing of wives doing certain things and husbands doing others isn’t always as clear-cut as all that. I mean, generally, wives cook and you’re the one that does the cooking.”

“Whatever! All I really need to do is hold to the letter of the contract. I don’t need to do much more than that. I’ll provide for you and give you a few nice things once in a while, and that’s the extent of my duty to you. And your duty is to do what I say.”

“Of course.”

She could feel he was relaxing somewhat, but neither of them said anything for a few minutes until he stood up again.

“Well. I do feel better,” he said. “Pack some clothes now on that suitcase. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?! But I had to go back to work, and I was going to see Lily this week, too!”

“I know that! But we have to go tomorrow. I spoke to Wrath already, he’ll come up with a good story. So hurry up now!”

She did as she was told, packing three sets of clothes for the trip. She had no other choice but to trust and obey, much as she worried about the setbacks this might cause. She really hoped, though, that the trip would be rather uneventful and nothing like what had happened with the Freezing Alchemist would take place during it. The sooner they got back, the better.


	26. Nightmares and Solace

## Chapter 26 - Nightmares and Solace

To minimize the risk of being seen in the Central train station, Envy decided to wake up extremely early. It was about three in the morning when he woke up and quickly shook Alice awake. She replied with something barely coherent that he took to mean ‘okay’. She’d already packed, so he wasn’t worried about her taking too long. She’d probably not eat because it was so early, but he’d just have her take a basket of sandwiches. A bit of hunger wouldn’t kill her anyways. He took the suitcase and opened it to make sure everything was really there. When he turned back to Alice, she was fast asleep again. Frowning, he walked over to the bathroom, opened the cold water on the shower, and walked back to Alice. Very gently, he picked her up from the bed, and walked back to the bathroom. She didn’t wake. Without the slightest warning, he walked under the cold water, soaking them both. Alice yelped and tried to jump down, but he held her tightly. It wouldn’t do for her to get hurt right before the trip. With a huge smile, he walked out of the shower, carefully put her down, and closed the water.

“Why did you do that for?!” she shrieked.

“I did tell you to wake up. It’s your fault for not listening to me,” he replied, perfectly smug.

He was quite fine with the cold water, actually. After all, he was already awake, so it was just nice and refreshing. But Alice’s reaction had been quite amusing. She was still unsteady on her feet, and dripping all over the floor, but she was awake.

“I’m going to have to change my clothes now,” Alice sighed.

“Yeah, hurry up, then. While you do that, I’ll go and prepare some food for the journey. If I find you asleep again, I’ll fill the tub with cold water first before tossing you in this time.”

She looked at him with wide eyes, and he grinned as he left to fill a basket with sandwiches. That was, after all, the quickest thing to prepare. He wasn’t going to bother to put in much of an effort in this. Soon as he was done, he went back to the room. Alice was looking sleepy, but she was still up. She obviously didn’t want to be soaked again.

“Let’s go,” he said. “If we start walking now, we should get to the train station before it leaves at about six.”

“We’re walking there?!”

“Yeah, what else did you expect?”

“Well, we’d get there faster by driving.”

“Yeah, and we’d have to leave a traceable vehicle there. No, no. We’ll walk. You’ll take this,” he said, handing her the basket of food. “Open the wardrobe and grab whichever coat you want and wear it.”

He watched her do as she was told and he also grabbed a coat. That’d be enough of a disguise for both of them. Then he led her out of the sewers. He wasn’t wearing any human disguise, but the coat had a hood and he was wearing that. They began their long walk towards the station. Alice was silent, likely because she was still so tired. It was probably for the best. The more silent she was, the less attention they’d attract. He was more than capable of defending them both from thugs, but he really didn’t want to deal with guns or knives. And, well, while he’d survive being shot, if they DID shoot Alice, she wouldn’t survive. And, well, he had to admit that in his normal human form, he didn’t LOOK very impressive. And Alice looked extremely pathetic. They’d definitely look like easy targets. He kept himself perfectly aware of their surroundings. Fortunately, there were no problems. Lucky thugs, really.

They did make it to the train just in time. Alice walked so slowly, that Envy was glad they’d gotten out of the sewers so early. They got into the cheaper carriages, sitting together.

“This is going to be a long journey,” he said when the train started moving.

Alice was already asleep, though, her head hanging at an awkward angle. Really, could the girl be any more pathetic? Rolling his eyes, he pulled her towards him so her head leaned on his shoulder. At least that way, he wouldn’t have to see her head bobbing about like some kind of corpse. He heard her sigh, but she didn’t wake. That was good. He needed time to think.

Actually, for a while, things hadn’t exactly been going great. The State Alchemist program was supposed to keep skilled alchemists not only in check, but also under military supervision. And now there was some crazed murderer going around killing them with impressive brutality. They all seemed to have exploded from the inside and were practically falling apart by the time they were found. The worst part was that no one knew who the murderer was. They knew he had a big scar on his face, but that was it.

Just to add to his worries, now that pipsqueak alchemist had gone to Lior and messed everything up there. Lust had reported that things had been going great, and she’d suddenly called, rather angry, and explained what the Fullmetal boy had done. He wasn’t sure how they were going to fix this problem, but his powers were sure to come in handy. Worst case scenario, he could pull another stunt like the one in Ishval. The important thing was to fix this issue. He hated having to drag the girl along with him, but they were seriously short-handed. It was going to be a real pain to keep her safe. She was sleeping so peacefully, leaning on his shoulder, having no idea what kind of danger he was about to put her in. He wondered if he should leave her outside of Lior, on her own, in some hotel. It’d be less of a headache. Still, he hated to leave her away from his supervision, even for a short while. And besides, he didn’t even know how long it’d take to rectify the problem in Lior. What a headache, seriously! He’d just have to drag his brat of a handfasted wife with him. Having analyzed what he knew of the situation, there wasn’t much more he could do yet. He’d have to wait until the next stop to make a phone call to Lust and see how things were doing. In the meantime, any energy he spent was energy wasted. He soon enough dozed off to sleep as well, leaning his head on Alice’s. He wasn’t going to look idiotic by having his head bobbing around while he slept, after all.

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When Alice woke up, she had a slight headache due to the weight of Envy’s head, and the side of her head that was leaning on his shoulder was also aching due to the fact that Envy’s bony shoulders did not make an especially great pillow. Since he was asleep, though, there was no getting free from that without waking him up, and the last thing she wanted was his getting some kind of grudge against her. So she simply stayed still, dozing off once in a while, until the train came to a stop. It was only then that Envy opened his eyes and got up. Alice was glad she was awake already, or she might have fallen.

“Stay there,” Envy said as he quickly got off the train.

She idly wondered where he was going. She’d slept for hours and it was light out. She looked out the window and saw Envy at a telephone, looking rather troubled, apparently already talking to someone. Well, that explained his sudden departure from the train. She peeked into the basket of food, taking out a sandwich and beginning to eat it. Soon enough, she saw Envy walk back towards the seat. Instead of sitting down, though, he picked up the suitcase, opened it, and took out one of Alice’s dresses. He left again, very quickly, and returned wearing it. It was only slightly loose for him, and, to her, he looked very weird, but it couldn’t be denied that he passed for a girl very, very well, and probably better than he passed for a man. He was still wearing the coat, and she wasn’t sure whether he looked worse wearing the dress or just his normal clothes.

“What are you looking at?” he asked her.

“You just look… different.”

“I gotta wear more normal clothes. There’s more people awake now. And I’m not going to waste my energy when you brought perfectly useable clothes.”

She had to admit that, aside from still making it obvious that he had a terrible sense of fashion (the coat didn’t match the dress, and neither did the headband he wore and he still wasn’t wearing shoes), he did look perfectly normal, at least, if you didn’t look too closely at his eyes. Soon after he sat down, the train began to move again.

“So did you get better news?” she asked. “You know, on the phone?”

“Nope. Everything is just as bad. I have an update on the situation, though, so I have time to think of what to do, and I gave a few pointers on what to do. Not that she needed them, but we’ll see how things go. She should have things prepared by the time I get there.”

She nodded and kept eating her sandwich. Honestly, curious as she was, she wasn’t going to ask for details. They’d probably be horrifying in some way or the other. They usually were. She finished eating and looked out the window.

“Lean on my shoulder again so I can use your head as a pillow,” Envy said.

“Huh? My head doesn’t make a very good pillow,” Alice said.

And honestly, she just plain didn’t want his heavy head on hers.

“Well, it sure beats hanging my head and hurting my neck. So don’t complain and do as you’re told.”

She did so and, having to stay still for so long, she soon fell asleep once more. The entire trip passed pretty much that way, with her sleeping and sometimes eating, and a few times stretching her legs, and her often ending up as a pillow. It seemed forever before they finally got to their last stop. Most of the sandwiches were gone by then (Envy had also eaten them, and he ate more than she did).

“Is this Lior?” she asked as they got out of the train.

“No, but we’re close enough. Now we have to either walk there or get some other kind of transportation to it. Or… well… let’s just get out of this station and town and we’ll see what we can do.”

She nodded and followed him out of town. The place was pretty small anyways, so they were out quickly enough. Soon, they were completely out of sight from everyone in town. Envy took off Alice’s dress and stuffed it back into the suitcase.

“Well, now, what to do to travel fast…” he muttered.

Suddenly he transformed. The red light was enough to make Alice turn away, but when she turned back, Envy had the shape of a black horse, complete with a pack saddle.

“Tie the suitcase up there and the basket on the other side. Then climb on my back. You’ll have to hold on tight,” he said.

She was rather shocked that his voice was the same even though the body was so different, but she did as she was told. Fortunately the suitcase was actually pretty light, as was the near-empty basket. She also tied her cane securely to where the basket was. Getting on Envy’s back was a completely different matter, though. He finally had to get down closer to the ground for her to manage that feat. Once she was up, though, he quickly got up.

“Hold on very tightly. Tell me if you’re about to fall off. We can’t really afford having you get that hurt so far from Central.”

“Okay,” she said, leaning down and holding on as tightly as she could to Envy’s neck.

He started walking away. Alice figured that the trip was definitely going to be faster than if they walked at her pace, but it was still going to take long. Then he started trotting, and she began to worry a bit. He continued picking up speed until he was galloping faster than she thought horses should be able to. She was outright terrified by then, holding on to him with a death grip. He didn’t slow down until her strength gave out and she couldn’t hold on so tightly anymore, and even then, he only slowed to a trot. Once she rested, he asked her to hold on tight again and took off at a high speed once more. This continued for several hours until he finally stopped. There was a city nearby, and it was night.

“Get off,” Envy ordered.

Alice did so, her legs and arms shaky. She slumped to the ground as soon as she was off his back. He transformed back and the things that had been tied to the saddle dropped to the ground.

“... Oh, come on! Get up! I can’t carry you AND the suitcase, and if I have to choose I’ll choose the suitcase!”

It took her a while and she needed help, but she was soon up again, walking next to Envy into the city. They kept to the shadows, out of view, eventually reaching what seemed to be some broken-down church. Envy led the way to a back door and knocked on it.

“Does someone know you’re here?”

“Gluttony would have smelled me. They’ll open the door soon.”

He was right. The door was opened just a few moments later by Lust.

“Come in quickly,” she said.

They both went in. The place was dark and it had apparently seen violence. Several statues were broken and there was rubble all over the floor.

“Everything’s ready for you, Envy. I’ve told the followers that the Cornello exposed by the Elrics was an imposter. Some ruse from the military to try to discredit him. A lot of people were in denial about the whole thing, so there’s plenty of people that are still believers. I’m sure you know what to do.”

Envy grinned.

“Leave it to me. I’ll have this whole situation fixed in no time at all.”

Alice said nothing, but she had a bad feeling about what these two were about to do.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, she was introduced to the disguise Envy would be using. It was that of a bald, ugly, older priest that she was to call Father Cornello. She wasn’t sure how anyone could possibly trust that disguise. Father Cornello looked about as trustworthy as a rickety old bridge that was already missing pieces. And yet, he had followers. Envy introduced her to them as some sort of pilgrim, and instructed them to make sure she had food and water. There had been riots around these parts, she learned, but things were starting to calm down. She thus thought that things would certainly be pretty calm.

She was wrong. From the room she’d been given, she could hear the sermons given by “Father Cornello”. She was impressed at Envy’s charisma in these speeches. He certainly entranced the masses with expertly-used rhetoric. However, his speeches were certainly not to calm the masses. Quite the contrary, soon after he started giving those speeches, the riots returned. Alice spent most of her day curled in a corner of the room, as far from the window as she could, cowering from the sounds of death and violence all around. Screams, explosions, clashings and gunshots rang out at all times. It was hard to even sleep, and she only managed to do that when exhaustion claimed her. Things got even worse when military troops arrived. She barely slept, even with the exhaustion, and she was feeling worse and worse due to the stress.

At some point, she managed to look out the window. She immediately regretted it. There were corpses everywhere. She’d never seen dead bodies before, and the sight was so sickening that it took all of her concentration for nearly an hour to not lose the contents of her stomach. After that, she refused to go near the window again. This actually turned out to be a good thing. A stray bullet crashed into the window hours later, shattering it and lodging itself on the wall fairly close by. She shrieked and was in too much shock to move for a long while. The nightmare went on for days, even though she felt as though it was years. But finally, when the door opened sometime very late during the night, it wasn’t the assistants that had been attending to her. It was Envy and he wasn’t even disguised. He looked around to find her cowering in a corner of the room.

“Oh, hey. There you are. You seem to have survived uninjured. Great! We’re heading back to Central. Our work is done,” Envy said. “By the way, you look absolutely dreadful.”

“I… I’ve barely slept.”

“Why? I mean, as long as you kept away from the window, you would be fine. This place was pretty well-guarded. Since this building was the base of the whole religion, the followers were taking great care of it. It’s not like I would’ve left you outside to get beaten and left for dead… or worse.”

“You caused this whole thing…” she said, still in shock.

“Yep! It was great, wasn’t it? All I had to do was spout some empty rhetoric and, with what Lust had already said, well! This was the result~!”

“Why do you sound so happy?! It’s awful! So many people are hurt and even dead!”

“Well, yes. Usually when you incite riots on this scale, at least part of the goal is to kill people.”

“You’re terrorists!”

“Hey, now, don’t be rude! We’re not terrorists. We’re not the ones killing people. All we do is convince people to act like the animals they are. We don’t even give them ideas! Frankly, sometimes humans outright surprise me with the things they’re capable of thinking on their own! My siblings call me cruel, but I’ve seen humans do worse things than I can. I love seeing what kinds of surprises they come up with!”

“But you’re still the cause! Why would you do this!?”

“Well. We have to carve blood crests in a few places. But you don’t even know what those are, do you?”

“No! And I don’t want to know!”

“I’ll tell you anyways. A blood crest is carved in the land when it soaks up blood and hatred and other such emotions. And that can only be done by a violent, bloody, large-scale event. So, really, this whole thing was necessary.”

“Necessary for what?!”

“Well, now, that’s a secret! You won’t like it, I’m sure. But you’re going to cooperate with us anyways. We’ll guarantee your safety and your return home if you do. Or only your safety if it turns out there’s no home for you to return to.”

“I’m not sure I want to keep cooperating if THIS is the kind of thing you’re working on!”

He walked over to her, took her hand and pressed her left index finger so hard that she thought he was going to crush it. She shrieked in pain, trying to break free from him, but he used his other hand to hold her arm tightly so she couldn’t escape.

“Careful now. Pull away and I’ll rip your finger off,” he said with a smile.

She tried to struggle free, but he was gripping her too tightly. Her finger felt as though it was going to explode, and it hadn’t even cracked yet. She was forced to stop resisting, even though she was wincing in pain, tears starting to streak down her face. She was certain he was not bluffing about breaking her fingers, after all.

“Are you sure you don’t want to keep cooperating nicely~?”

“Stop! Stop it! Please!” she yelped.

“I will if you promise to continue being a good, cooperative pet. Otherwise, I’ll just crush your finger… and ask again… and if you keep resisting, I’ll break the next finger… over and over… till you give up resisting. And if you don’t and I run out of fingers, I’ll continue with your arms, and then your legs. So I’ll ask you again… are you sure you don’t want to keep cooperating nicely~?”

“Alright, alright! I promise to keep cooperating! Please, please stop!” she cried.

He let go of her with a smile.

“Good choice~! You’ll probably want to splint that finger, just in case I cracked it,” he said, giving her a rough pat on the head. “I’ll bring you something to splint it with in just a bit. In the meantime, start preparing to leave. Get your stuff. And be quick about it. We’re going to head out as fast as we can, because I think the military might come in here soon and it’d be best if we’re not here.”

She nodded and got up. Even though the pain in her index finger was very intense and she could barely move it, she quickly went to pick up the few things she’d brought with her while Envy left, presumably to look for something to splint her painfully throbbing finger with. She was still shocked at what she’d seen and the confirmation that they were doing something horrifying. She’d always known that they were dangerous and she’d long since learned that whatever they wanted to do was going to be horrible, but the fact that they were starting outright wars and large-scale bloodshed was new. She desperately wanted to stop helping them, but what could she even do? All her defiance would do was get her tortured.

After a while, Envy returned with a splint, which he tied on her finger since it was hard for her to do so with one hand. Then they met up with Lust and Gluttony in the basement of the temple. All of them were wearing coats with cloaks. And from there, they went out the back way, quickly making their way out of Lior, stepping over corpses and blood, Envy mostly dragging the shocked Alice along. In the cover of the night, they were unseen by most and ignored by the few who did see them.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trip to Central was, for Envy and Alice, much the same as their trip to Lior had been. The only difference was that Alice, still in some shock at the horrifying things she’d seen, was much more still, and thus ended up with her head used as a pillow far more often. She ended up with quite the headache by the time they got off the train at Central. Gluttony and Lust had not come back with them, instead having stayed at East City. Her index finger was still making her pretty miserable with the pain, and it didn’t help that the rest of her body was also aching. It had been long since she’d last gotten any treatment for her illness, and the stress hadn’t helped things any. She was only too happy to get back to the underground tunnels and flop down on the huge bed she shared with her murderous jailer. She didn’t really feel like doing much else, not after what she’d seen. She didn’t even want to go back to work, even though she knew she would have to soon enough. She just felt like staying there, speaking to no one.

“You’re going to mope again?” Envy asked as he tossed the contents of the suitcase and the coats they’d taken into a basket.

She didn’t answer.

“Geez. You’d think you saw something absolutely awful. It was just a few dead bodies! Alright, maybe a bit more than a few. But they were already dead! What’s the problem?”

She still gave no answer. Why was he even asking that? There should be no need to ask that.

“I mean, you eat plenty of meat and steak and chicken and the like, right? You know where that comes from? Chicken and cow corpses. You EAT corpses. And it’s not like you knew any of the people that died, except maybe the one Gluttony ate. Oh yeah, you knew him. It was one of the assistants. But other than that, everyone who died was as well-known to you as the last cow corpse you ate. And the assistant you probably only saw once or twice.”

The more he spoke, the angrier Alice became. How dare he compare people to cows?!

“That’s entirely different!” she exclaimed. “People are not cows! Or chickens!”

“Oh yeah? What’s the difference? You know, aside from the ability to talk and some intelligence.”

“We… we have feelings!”

“So do other animals.”

“We form complex societies!”

“Yeah, so do ants. And bees.”

“Well, fine then! Maybe we’re just animals! But we don’t tend to like seeing our own die!”

“That isn’t what I asked you, though. I asked you how you’re different from animals. Cows and chickens are definitely higher life forms than ants. And humans are higher up than cows, but you’re all still animals, and not only that, but also lower life forms than we are. So what we’re doing isn’t really a big deal. It’s not much different from you eating cow and chicken corpses.”

As much as she disagreed with this idea, there was no point in trying to argue with him. Even if she managed to win the argument, she knew him well enough to know that he would simply resort to shutting her up by violence once he was cornered. There was no real need to suffer that. One cracked finger bone was enough.

“So stop moping! You have to go back to work tomorrow and you’re supposed to be recovered from illness, so you can’t be looking this miserable.”

“What’s going to be the story we’re supposed to give?”

“Ohh, right, right! Yeah, Wrath told me he said you got special permission to come with me because an uncle of mine was really ill. I suppose we can say he died and that’s why you’re all mopey. Would give me a few extra days off to catch up on other things I had to neglect. So sure, let’s go with that.”

“Which uncle?”

“Umm… Uncle… let’s say John. A very common name.”

“Alright, sir. Speaking of work, though, sir... “ she said, holding up the swollen finger that was still tied in a splint.

“Right. I’ll get the doctor. Can’t have you going to work like that.”

He left the room, returning with that ugly gold-toothed doctor, who grinned and shook his head slightly

“What was it this time?” he asked. “A table? Another staircase?”

“She got her finger caught in a door that was slammed shut,” Envy replied.

“You should be more careful, little girl. The means to heal you might get depleted.”

“Yeah, speaking of depleted, I’m pretty sure she needs the usual treatment, too. I think an ant could outrun her by now.”

The doctor nodded and, a flash of red light later, her finger was back to normal and the rest of the pain was gone. She sighed in relief.

“Thank you, sir,” she said.

“Only doing my job. But be careful. Wasting this resource isn’t something you should be doing.”

She nodded, taking the blame for the incident despite the fact that Envy had been the one that had caused it. What else could she really do in front of the jailer? At least the pain was gone now. After the doctor left, she flopped back on the bed and went to sleep, not even bothering to wear pajamas.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she finally went back to work, her coworkers and the people she would hang out with during lunch had lots of questions. She went with the story she’d been given about Evan’s Uncle John being sick and dying. A story like that soon ended the barrage of questions and she was, thankfully, left mostly alone. The new meeting with Lily was rescheduled for the week after the next one (it was already Friday, and Herman and Lily had plans for the next week). Finally, things began to have some kind of normalcy. She knew she was going to have nightmares for a long while, but even those would eventually calm. It would just take her more effort, in the meantime, to keep going. It was all a matter of inertia, anyways. Once she got back on track, it’d be easier to just keep at it. She could do this. Her return home and the success of the mission grew ever closer.

That night, though, she was so exhausted that she only barely ate any dinner at all. Envy finished the rest, and before he was even done, she was already asleep. Her dreams were, of course, full of nightmares about corpses and blood and wars. Eventually she was shaken awake by Envy.

“What… what happened? What time is it?” she asked.

“It’s still night and I want you to go to the couch.”

“Huh?”

“Look here. This bed is large enough to accommodate even my- I mean a giant or something. And you’re on MY side. Stealing MY covers. Now get out of here and let me sleep!”

She grumbled, but complied. It was hard to get out of bed though. She really was quite tangled up in the covers. Still, she managed to get free and went to the couch, falling asleep quickly enough. It wasn’t long before she was awakened again, this time by falling off of it onto the floor. Giving up, she just stayed there for the rest of the night. She was shaken awake again in the morning. Opening her eyes, she saw Envy kneeling down next to her.

“You know… you’re really lucky I was properly awake. Otherwise I might have stepped on you. And you might have died,” he said. “What’s the matter with you, anyways?”

“Nightmares,” she muttered.

“Well, stop having them! You’re being troublesome!”

“I can’t just choose not to have them!” she replied.

He rolled his eyes, but that day, during dinner, he brought her a little vial of some clear liquid.

“Pour a tiny bit of that in your water. Not more than like a drop,” he said.

“Why?”

“It’ll make you feel better. You won’t get nightmares, at least.”

“What is it?”

“I dunno. Something the doctor gave me.”

“Why would you care if I have nightmares?”

“Because I don’t want to trip on you when I wake up in the mornings, or during the night. And if you keep having nightmares like that, you’re just going to keep ending up on the floor. Besides, if you keep sleeping this little, you’re going to end up seriously harming yourself.”

She was wary of this, but she was also so exhausted that a good night’s sleep seemed to be worth whatever risk this might have. She opened the little vial and carefully put a single drop into her glass of water. By the time she was done with dinner, she was feeling far more relaxed, and even sleepy. In fact, she was having a little trouble getting up. Envy rolled his eyes.

“Of course. Leave it to your pathetic body to get TOO relaxed. I’m going to take these plates away. I’ll help you out once I come back,” he said.

She nodded sleepily as he left. She stayed at the table, and soon fell fast asleep. When she woke up again, it was morning and she was on the bed, right about the middle. She felt confused for a moment, but there was little doubt as to how she’d gotten there. Envy was already up and eating breakfast. She was honestly quite surprised that she had not been left on the couch or on the floor, but she wasn’t going to complain. There’d be less aches to get up to.

“Sleep well, dear~?” Envy asked with a grin soon as she sat up.

Well, that was just swell. Envy was THIS happy this early in the morning? Oh dear, that was awful.

“Yes, thank you. I thought you would have left me on the couch or something,” she said.

“I was going to, but I honestly would rather not risk stepping on you. Besides you’re really warm~!” he said with another huge grin.

“Wait, what? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just what I said! You’re really warm~!”

“But… what does that have to do with anything?! It’s not like we sleep anywhere near each other!”

He gave her another infuriating grin, this time not answering.

“What in the world did you DO?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know~? I’ll tell you one thing. You’re really hard to wake up with that medicine~!”

She tried to think. She knew he hadn’t done anything that’d actually hurt her, but she seriously couldn’t stand not knowing what he might have done. She couldn’t get the slightest idea, either.

“Envy, please. Tell me what you did.”

“It’s a secret. Try to relax and have breakfast. ”

She did so, but she still looked extremely nervous and she knew it. Envy just looked a lot happier.

“I don’t have to take that… sleeping medicine again tonight, do I?” she asked. She really hoped not, lest it gave Envy another chance to do… whatever he’d done.

“Yes you do. At least a week or so until you start feeling better from your visit to Lior. I still can’t believe you got all traumatized over CORPSES, but, well, it just won’t do to have you not sleeping at all. So you’ll take that until I’m satisfied you’re doing better. If it takes even longer than a week, or if it takes more than that one vial, then so be it. You’re going to take it for as long as I decide you need it,” Envy said, his grin disappearing for a bit.

“I’d rather not. I don’t want you to keep doing… whatever it is you did, without me knowing.”

“You’re paranoid. What have I ever done to you that was really nasty without you deserving it in some way first? Besides, it’s not like I’m going to ask you. You’re going to do it because it’s an order, and if you don’t, I’m not going to be nice about it.”

“Alright, sir,” she sighed.

Whatever he did to her was far less dreadful than his angry retribution to whatever he considered insubordination. She’d rather risk being entirely at his mercy in some kind of drugged sleep than have him break her hands finger by finger only to continue with her feet and then her arms and legs, as he’d already threatened to do. She was pretty sure that wasn’t a threat that only applied to his orders back then, but something he’d readily apply to any insubordination the moment he felt like it. Looking at how unimpressive he looked, hearing his young little voice, seeing his jovial mannerisms and knowing he wasn’t allowed to kill her made it easy to forget just how dangerous and cruel he could REALLY be. All things considered, she was certain he’d been, for the most part, NICE to her. At least… as nice as it was in his nature to be.

At the very least, there was one good thing about that medication. She certainly didn’t feel so terribly miserable anymore. And she had slept much better. In fact her sleep had been the most restful she’d had in a long while. If nothing else, this would provide some much-needed solace and allow her to recover from the shock and horrors she’d seen.


	27. Threshold to Discovery

## Chapter 27 - Threshold to Discovery

It took a few days for her to regain a better sense of normalcy in her life, even though she was aware that whatever medicine Envy was giving her was partly to thank for that. While thinking of the fact she was left completely at Envy’s mercy without even knowing what he did made her nervous, the alternate choice was far worse.

“It’s not like you’re NOT at my mercy at any given time, you know,” he said when she voiced that concern to him during dinner. “You’re always at my mercy, so I don’t see what the problem is.”

“I just… don’t know what you do is all. At least normally, I’m aware. It’s worse when I’m not.”

“Oh for the love of… what can I possibly do that doesn’t hurt you? Grope you? I wouldn’t do that at any time, but after eating dinner? I don’t want to throw the contents of my stomach up, you know!”

“I don’t know!”

“Then it can’t be that bad, can it?”

She’d definitely prefer to think so, but the problem with that was that Envy was extremely creative. Despite what he’d said, she was quite sure that he could think up hundreds of ways to be awful without actually harming her. Still there would be no getting an answer from him. He could be pretty stubborn about things like that.

“So how much do you think you’ll love me when you go back to Lily’s place?” he asked.

“That’s a very awkward question,” she replied.

“Don’t you dare complain about awkward after all the things YOU have put me through!” he exclaimed. “So come on. Answer the question.”

“How should I even know? I don’t even know what it is that keeps making me feel that way. I don’t understand how it works.”

“Yes, I suppose so. But you have a theory, right? What do you think makes you feel that way?”

“That incense. It’s got to be a drug or something.”

“The medicine you’ve been taking is a compound created by alchemy. I wouldn’t call it a drug, but it is still affecting your mood. You’re not so mopey or anything and you are more relaxed and sleeping better.”

“Are you saying you think she is affecting my mood with alchemy?”

“Well, a glowing purple compound that drips into a glass out of nowhere doesn’t exactly seem natural. I think you’ll be finding out soon enough the secret behind this. In the meantime, all we actually have is theories. I hate that. I hate not being certain of what’s going on. I hate it even more when it’s something that seems to be that troublesome. We’re even running out of time, too, so I hope that this whole thing is done before the Promised Day. Otherwise… well, Father will be furious. That’s not going to be good for me. Or for you, either.”

“Worst case scenario, I knock over the incense holder by accident and get you a sample of the liquid.”

“That’d be too obvious, but definitely seems like a worst case scenario option. I would prefer not to have to resort to this, though.”

“Yes, I’d rather not have to do that, either.”

“Well, if you are caught and they realize who you are working for, they might get dangerous. So I think I might have to keep a closer eye on you. Of course, due to having to pick you up, there will always be some time where I am unavailable to help you. So be careful.”

“I don’t think they’d hurt me. They are too nice,” she said.

“Let me put it this way. They think I am nice. Appearances can be deceiving.”

Well, he definitely had a point there. Lily did seem to be the type that thought highly of protecting that which was dear to her, and this likely included the country of Amestris. If she realized that Alice was working for people that were causing wars and such bloodshed all over and were likely going to destroy the place, she might not act so nice after all. She would likely be ready to kill to protect what she loved. People of such strong convictions tended to be very zealous about defending them.

“You’re right, of course,” she said.  “I’ll be careful. But... they don’t know who you all are or what you intend to do, right?”

“Of course not. Even a lot of the people that work for us have no idea what our goals are. And a bunch of the ones that do have been misled into thinking they are a part of it all! The fools are cooperating with us with no idea of what awaits them!”

“Are you going to do the same to me?” Alice asked, her voice quiet and serious.

“Well, I can tell you we won’t but I know you will find it hard to believe with what I just told you. Rest assured that it is in our best interests to return you to your home if it exists. And if it doesn’t, you are far too insignificant to pose the slightest problem to us, so we will just let you go. Even though you know a lot about us, you are a nobody. Who would even believe you if you said anything about us? You would be taken as some traumatized lunatic, raving about impossible things. And since you are so powerless, you can’t even back up your claims,” he said, with a smile. “So you are safe. A lot safer than the other people working for us, since you are a lot more worthless than they are. Plus, we can always kill you anyways. We do have means to find you anywhere, after all.”

In a hurtful kind of way, that was reassuring. While she had no real guarantee that they would honor their word, he sounded sincere. She felt sure that she had spent enough time with Envy to tell.

“Either way,” he said, “I want you to be careful. Wasting resources is something I would like to avoid as much as possible. Worthless as you are in general, there is the matter that caused us to keep you around and you have become our best option for this mission. I really do wish I could say you are entirely useless, but I suppose even I have to admit when a pawn does its job. ”

“I’ll be careful,” she answered with a sigh.

A few days later, the night before she was supposed to go to Lily and Herman’s house, she was awoken by Lust’s voice. She hadn’t taken a drop from the vial of medicine that night, mostly because she wanted to be fully aware of everything when she went to Lily’s the next day.

“Envy. Wake up, Envy,” she said.

Alice tried not to even move, listening to Envy groan as he sat up.

“What is it?” he asked, sounding rather grumpy.

Alice just hoped that whatever had caused Lust to wake him up would resolve itself in a positive enough way that his mood would improve before he had a chance to take it out on her.

“We have visitors at Lab Five,” Lust replied.

“Oh great. The guards can take care of it, though.”

“Maybe, but we still have to go and check.”

“Alright, then. Let’s go.”

He got up and left with Lust. Alice did not notice at what time he returned. He had seemingly been awake for a while before he woke her up, and though he seemed tired, he did not look like he had not slept at all. He also did not seem to be in an absolutely terrible mood, so that at least meant that there was less chance of him taking anger out on her.

“Did your errand go well?”

“Oh, great, you heard about that?”

“Yes. Sorry.”

“Yeah, whatever. Anyways, it went… okay, I guess.”

“People visit you at Lab Five?”

Envy laughed.

“Only if they have a deathwish! We’ve had a few people get in. The guards take care of that, though.”

“Wait. You mean…you kill them?” she asked and sighed. “Of course you do…”

“Well, we don’t personally do that. We hired serial killers to do that.”

“What?!”

“Yeah! It’s really neat. We had their souls put in some armor so that they wouldn’t have any bodily needs like sleeping or eating and they stay there, and they can kill any trespassers! Everyone wins, right?”

“That’s awful! Serial killers?!”

“Hey, come on. We only got the two best ones! It’s not like we don’t have standards for this stuff, you know. And if you want people to kill trespassers, what could possibly be better than those who have a lot of practice at this? They were going to be executed anyways, so we just gave them a second chance.”

“So did they kill someone last night?”

“Well… no. That’s why things only went okay. You see, the Fullmetal pipsqueak and his brother were the ones who got into the laboratory. We don’t want them KILLED, you know. They’re important resources.”

“You mean Alphonse?! And his brother?!”

“Yeah, yeah. They’re fine. I mean, the Fullmetal pipsqueak was sent to a hospital. I followed him. And, well, we had to destroy the laboratory. And we killed two of the three guards. And you should be really glad and thankful that I don’t make you walk back here alone at night because there’s now a serial killer loose in Central.”

“That’s awful! I thought you said things had gone more or less okay!”

“They did. We got there before one of the guards revealed too much information, and we made sure the Elrics weren’t killed, and we got rid of all the troublesome evidence. They could have gone better, but we managed to salvage the situation. Of course, the pipsqueak and his brother and two other people saw my face and the pipsqueak saw Lust. But things could have been far, far worse, and they weren’t. So I’ll call it a relative success.”

Whatever made him happy. She thought the whole situation was awful, but she knew him only too well. He took these things very differently from anyone she’d ever known. At least she was prepared for whatever gossip she may hear. Knowing that the Homunculi were involved in the destruction of the lab, she knew what kinds of conjectures she was allowed to voice. She also knew to stay calmer about the whole thing. It was definitely easier to control the way she acted when she knew beforehand what things were about. She supposed she needed to add a bit of shock to her reaction to the whole situation when she heard about it. She’d heard about the first branch of the Central Library burning down, but hadn’t thought much of it. Crazy arsonists were everywhere, after all, and she’d had other things in her mind. Plus there’d been that medication she’d taken that made her feel all calm and placid. She wondered if Envy knew anything about that.

“I heard a library was burned by some arsonist a few days ago,” she said. “Do you know anything about that?”

“Yeah, that was Lust. She came back to Central in a hurry after she’d been tailing the Fullmetal pipsqueak to protect him from that guy that’s been murdering State Alchemists. That was a close one, too! That dude almost killed the pipsqueak! We were still wrapping up the whole Lior business then, so there was little we could do, but it was still something that could have set us back more than we could possibly afford.”

“Why would she burn down a whole library?!”

“Well. We were trying to make sure the pipsqueak wouldn’t get certain information, and it was too difficult to just find it, so she burned the whole thing down. It’s not a big deal. It’s just a library. There’s others.”

She shook her head, but said nothing. It was best to try not to think much more about this whole situation. Things had certainly started to go rather crazy since the Elric brothers had apparently stumbled into the whole operation the Homunculi were running. Everything was seemingly running pretty smoothly before, but ever since the Freezing Alchemist had gone rogue in the city, things weren’t exactly working right anymore for her captors. She had mixed feelings about this, really. On the one hand, she thought it was great that the awful plans the Homunculi were working towards (because they couldn’t be anything BUT awful considering the steps they were taking to prepare for them) were getting inconvenienced. On the other hand, her life and her possible return home did hinge on this plan coming to fruition. She had to help them work towards it. Otherwise, she was sure she’d be killed, but perhaps… just perhaps… if their plans failed despite their efforts, her death wouldn’t feel THAT terrible. At least her life would be taken because of a good thing, rather than pointless rebellion that would change nothing. Or so she felt, anyway.

Still, those thoughts were far less important at the moment than getting through her day and then through the ordeal she knew she’d face at Lily’s house. The whole thing had been rescheduled for quite a few weeks, so they had quite a bit less time to finish things up. She just hoped that Lily would reveal something interesting soon. Envy had already told her that their main concern was whatever she was working on with her alchemy. The way Lily had spoken of love and such feelings, Alice felt sure it was just a matter of time before the strange woman just showed her the reason she kept referring to these concepts as something tangible. Maybe she was doing some alchemy related to that. Whatever it was, she needed to bring answers to the Homunculi soon.

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After the usual dinner at Lily’s, Alice once more walked into the living room, her heart filled with dread. It was, honestly, convenient that they never spoke of much more than small, trivial things during dinner. This allowed her to concentrate more on keeping up her act. She hated having to make up things and stories about her non-existent normal and happy life. That kind of creativity had led to her marriage, after all. The incense holder was there, with about as much of the purple liquid as there had been the last time she was there. Fortunately, due to the lingering effects of the medication, it was slightly easier to relax.

“How has everything been, dear?” Lily asked.

“It’s all good now,” Alice replied.

“Quite a few issues in trying to coordinate these visits, huh?”

“Very unfortunate, yes.”

“They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. How are you finding this? You’ve had a few months now.”

“I think I’m actually finding things easier with time,” Alice said.

That wasn’t entirely a lie. She was very used to Envy by now, and she was pretty sure he was not so consistently awful as he used to be. In a lot of ways, things had become easier. The only thing that had  become harder was cooperating with them knowing more about their plans.

“That’s great, dear! You are so lucky! But is there anything that might be stressing you out?”

Alice wanted to lie about it, but she knew that she had been seen all nervous several times. To claim that she had no stress would be foolish.

“Oh, well, there’s been a few things once in a while, like the wedding plans, and some things recently, but it’s all good. I mean, stress happens, but it doesn’t have to be something that hurts my life quality.”

 

“That’s a good attitude to have. I’m glad to hear it.”

“Thank you.”

“Yes, I’d noticed you were likely stressed, but I think you’re calmer now?”

“A bit, I think,” Alice replied.

“That’s wonderful! I hope all my advice has been useful, then?”

“Quite, m’am. Knowing more about how these things work really helps to keep the whole thing healthy.”

Or, well, it would, if the relationship between her and Envy were at all healthy to begin with.

“Yes, you’re definitely right. That’s why I thought it important to give you this knowledge. I believe that, by doing so, I am cooperating in making the world a bit of a better place. You’re doing so too, in more ways than you can imagine.”

Well, to be fair, she was also cooperating to make the world worse by helping the Homunculi, but, well, that wasn’t exactly something that she could just say. Still, the wording of that was… interesting. Perhaps she could get a bit more on that. Lily tended to be quite honest, after all.

“I think all our actions affect the world more than we can imagine,” Alice said.

“Well, yes, but there’s some actions that you know will change the world entirely,” Lily said, her voice sounding almost eager for just a moment. “But nevermind that. You’re right, of course.”

Alice nodded and stole a glance at the incense holder. She could already see a difference in the amount of purple liquid since she’d arrived. Quite predictably, she could feel a huge difference in her emotions. Her feelings towards Envy were incredibly positive. Even the image of him in her mind seemed almost overwhelmingly beautiful. Sure, Envy was cute in his own sort of strange way, but he was nowhere near beautiful. Maybe if he didn’t look like some weird teenager, that’d help his case. At least, that’s how she felt normally. Right now, however, she couldn’t think of anyone more attractive. At least he wasn’t REALLY a teenager.

This time Lily seemed to be talking about somehow putting together all that she’d told Alice about before, with some practical examples. As much as she seemed to be listening, though, Alice just couldn’t quite pay as much attention as she wanted to. Her mind kept wandering to her seemingly amazing husband, and her feelings on him just kept morphing. Soon enough, she almost felt she could forgive anything he did, and that his happiness was one of the most important things in her world. It didn’t help that at some point Lily started talking about appreciating her husband, with all his good and bad traits. Alice knew that, logically, there was no way she could feel this way, and she wanted to scream, feeling outright violated by these intrusive feelings. She was pretty sure these forced feelings were now at the level of obsession. The few glances she gave the incense holder confirmed her suspicion that the purple liquid was being generated at a much faster pace than before. She could hardly wait for this whole ordeal to be over.

“Well,” Lily said after what seemed like hours, after a fleeting look towards the incense holder. “I think you’re ready. I’ve imparted all the knowledge I can give you, and I think you’ve absorbed it well. I want to show you something wonderful that I keep in my study outside and show you how I plan to change the world. But first I need you to take some time to properly put all this into practice. I want you to take a few more weeks off… maybe a couple of months, and when I think you’d be ready, I’ll call you. Please decline the invitation if you feel you’re not ready. But when you are, you’ll come back, and I’ll show you how the world can be changed through what I’ve taught you.”

Finally… there it was. This was what she’d worked so hard to obtain. She nodded. She was thankfully too busy keeping her feelings in check to actually look as eager as she felt. It was also time to leave and that, too, was fortunate. She stole a quick glance at the incense holder as she walked out. The container was well over half full of that glowing purple liquid.

When she got into the car, she found that proximity to Envy, even in his disguise, made her problematic feelings far worse. She felt an almost overwhelming need to show him affection in some way or form, and it took all her restraint to stay still.

“Well? How did it go this time?” Envy asked her.

Even his voice made her feel worse.

“Please, I’m begging you. Try not to talk or get any closer. I might be unable to resist the urge to jump you or something…” she said, gritting her teeth.

“Eugh, THAT bad?”

“Yes.”

He stayed silent the entire way and, when he led her through the tunnels back to his room, he kept a greater distance than usual. Even by the time they got to the room, Alice was still having trouble with her rogue feelings. She was frustrated enough to want to cry, but she was sure that if she did so, she’d probably lose control of the rest of her feelings too.

“You still look like you’re having a hard time. Should I just lock you up elsewhere for a bit?” he asked.

“I’m okay. It’s just… this was worse than ever.”

“Well, if it helps you control your feelings any, if you so much as touch me right now, I’m going to crush both of your hands.”

“That… does help,” Alice said. “But it’s fine. I know these feelings aren’t real or anything.”

“Yeah, I’d like to think that too, but the thing is, you ARE feeling them. So I guess they ARE real. They’re just not natural… or at least not to that extent, since you’ve already said you only get your existing feelings amplified. Still, the thought of being so much as approached by someone feeling THAT amorous gives me goosebumps.”

She really wished he wouldn’t point out the fact that amplified feelings meant that everything she felt was already there to some extent even if it was to a very small one.

“I think it was just the medication you’ve been giving me.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I’ve always felt the effects more strongly each time, but this jump was just insane. Like, right now, I seriously feel like just ha-”

“Stop it RIGHT THERE,” he interrupted. “I don’t care what you feel like doing to my innocent body. Keep that to yourself. Just go ahead with your report.”

“Yes, of course. Anyways, the extent to which the feelings changed seemed constant until now, and the only difference was that medication.”

“Hm… go on.”

“I also noticed a really weird thing. You know how that purple liquid always increased in quantity every time I left?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this time, not only did my feelings increase that much more, but the liquid also seemed to be well, generated, at a much faster pace. The container was over half full. Significantly.”

Once more, she saw his face become deathly pale from what had to be pure terror.

“Tell me more,” he said, his voice somewhat faint.

“Well… I have excellent news,” she said. “I will be taking somewhat of a break from this… but the next time I go there, she says she’ll show me her study outside. And that there’s something wonderful she wants to show me.”

The color flushed back to his face.

“Really!?”

“Yes. That’s what she said.”

Envy laughed, though his laughter still had a tinge of nervousness in it.

“That’s great! That’s really great! Hahahah! It’s GOT to be that shed I saw outside! Very well. The next time you go, I will follow you. And we can end this. Good job, little pet! We’re finally in the end stretch of this mission. It’s taken a while, but we’re there! Father is going to be so happy!”

He seemed very excited about this, and Alice could hardly blame him for it. This mission had taken far too long. Even she was glad to see that the end was coming, even if she was still nervous about the outcome. It might be the end, but there was no guarantee they’d win. At this moment, though, that didn’t seem to bother him at all. He was in quite a hurry to report back to his Father, though, so he left to do so. Alice stayed rather still, glad to have extra distance between them that might help give time for her altered feelings to return to normal.


	28. Tragedy

## Chapter 28 - Tragedy

Envy returned a while later, still in high spirits, but rather more thoughtful than he’d been when he left. Alice was, thankfully already mostly over her altered feelings. Envy must have noticed she was more at ease because he didn’t keep more of a distance from her than normal. She studied his expression carefully from her comfortable seat at the couch. Despite his high spirits, there was still some worry in his face. She wondered how that would bode for her. He obviously had no intention of sleeping yet. He instead sat at the table.

“Come over here,” he said.

She knew better than to disobey a direct order like that. She got up and sat at the chair opposite to him.

“Well. Father is very pleased, definitely, with your report. He’s even pleased with your performance, little pet, which is really quite an honor for a pawn like you,” Envy said. “That said, while the greatest part of the work is now done, what remains is the most delicate, and, frankly, the most dangerous part. So I was advised to prepare you for it. I need you to listen carefully, then.”

“Alright…”

“Lily is an alchemist. I told you this already. And I don’t need to remind you about how dangerous alchemy can be. If things go wrong, she may very well turn on you, and you’re helpless enough against a breeze, let alone a talented alchemist like her. You’d be dead within seconds if she attacked you.”

That was more than a little unsettling.

“Okay,” she said. “I’m still listening.”

“We believe that… it’s very likely… that she has been extracting feelings and emotions from you. That’s why you’ve felt these things. Of course it’s just a theory. A lot of things don’t make sense about this. For example, that’d explain why the more you feel, the more of that liquid is made, but it doesn’t really explain why you feel more in the first place. It doesn’t follow the law of equivalent exchange. Which actually worries me a lot.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s alchemy, and unless she has a Philosopher’s Stone, she shouldn’t be bypassing the laws of alchemy. And yet… there’s no way she’d have a Philosopher’s Stone. I don’t think she’d even use one.”

“Why not?”

“... Just trust me on that. Either way, the only theory we have is a theory that can’t quite work as it is, and the only way we can think for it to work is probably WORSE than if she has a Philosopher’s Stone. That research needs to go. We seriously can’t afford having her use it against us. At this point, it doesn’t matter what it takes, so long as the threat is neutralized. She would have made a great resource for us, but at this point, the risks are much greater than any benefit we may gain. We don’t like having risks like this. So, whatever it takes, the threat needs to end.”

“Whatever it takes?! You’re not going to kill her, are you?!”

“I’d much rather not have to kill her because as long as she stays in Amestris, she’d be a useful resource to a certain extent, even if we can’t use her directly, and even if she’d be an almost insignificant resource that way. But if it comes to that, then I will.”

“No! You can’t do that! Please! Please don’t kill her!”

“I said I’d TRY not to. But if I have to, then I will. You knew this might happen. I told you from the very beginning that you could be helping us bring these people to harm.”

“But I never thought you’d actually DO it!”

“You never thought, yes. You never THINK. That’s your problem! The mission comes first! If it comes to that and you try to stop me… then I will destroy you. Even as a talented alchemist, she stands no chance against me. Most people don’t. So I will destroy her anyways. And then I’ll hunt down her husband… and slowly kill him and force you to watch. And then I’ll also hunt down your other little friend. You know, the one that wanted to date Lust. Vincent, right? I’ll force you to watch his death too. Do you understand me?!”

She was trembling by now.

“Y… yes…”

“Even if I have to kill all of them, if you cooperate, I at least won’t force you to watch. And I’ll do so as quickly and cleanly as possible. It’s a possibility I must prepare you for if I’m to minimize the chances of you doing something stupid to mess everything up.”

“O… okay…” she said, a knot in her throat.

“I know this is hard for a pathetic worm like you. But remember… the alternative is WORSE. And not just for you, but for your so-called friends, too!”

She nodded. It was definitely true.

“I suppose you’d best keep taking that medication from the vial. Otherwise, you’ll probably break down. And you’d ruin everything! Take two drops today.”

She did as she was told. She definitely needed that. The fact that she would have to cooperate with something that’d most likely result in the death of people she really liked was a bit too much for her to handle. She never wanted to kill anyone, or even help kill anyone. She supposed she’d always known deep down that in the end, that was what she was actually doing. After all, she’d already learned that whatever the Homunculi were planning for Amestris would result in widespread disaster. However, she’d managed to be in denial about this for all this time. To suddenly be confronted with the reality of it was more than she was prepared to handle. She felt that she would much rather take any abuse Envy had to dish out before continuing to aid them. However, she knew better. He would break her--further. He also knew only too well that she would want to try to stop cooperating despite the consequences to herself, and thus he had threatened other people. Part of her raged that they might die no matter what she did, but in the end, she was forced to admit that their being killed quickly was far better than their being killed slowly… and her being forced to watch. She cried from sheer rage and frustration at the futility of her situation as she waited for the medication to take effect. Envy simply watched her with a mildly disgusted and bored face. Finally, she began to feel drowsy, and then she had a vague feeling that her head hit the table and she knew no more.

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When she next woke up, the first thing she realized was that she was very hungry. She was still somewhat drowsy from the medication, and feeling slightly disoriented. Since she was no longer at the table, she knew Envy had moved her to the bed again. Looking around, she saw him sprawled on the couch, reading a book. He looked up at her when she sat up.

“I think two drops was a bit too much,” he said. “You’ve missed breakfast and lunch already. And you don’t exactly look super awake.”

There was a lot she wanted to say, but her mind just couldn’t focus on anything quite yet.

“I’m hungry,” she managed to say.

“Of course you are. I just said you skipped two meals. I suppose I can bring you a late lunch. At least… after I’m done reading this.”

He took a while to get up and bring her something to eat. Alice’s mind began to clear somewhat. She began to properly remember the events from the day before. How was she supposed to face Herman again, knowing what was likely to be done to him, and, worse still, knowing that she was the one who had helped bring this about? The lingering effects of the medication helped her stay calm enough to think, but what was she supposed to do? She wasn’t sure if she could live with the guilt of this, or how she was even supposed to function. She began to repeat silently to herself that there was nothing she could do, and that she was doing her best to make sure no harm came to them, and that she wasn’t to blame for the whole thing. Maybe if she said it enough times, she’d even sort of believe it.

“Here you go,” Envy said when he returned, putting a tray of food on the table.

Alice went to sit at the table and watched him sit next to her. She was mildly surprised at the fact that he didn’t sit across her. He usually did so, perhaps because it was easier to watch and study her that way. She was actually glad to see that he didn’t seem to feel like doing that right now.

“When you go back to work, are you going to act all weird towards your little so-called friend Herman?” he asked.

“I’ll try not to.”

“Do more than just trying. Who knows! Maybe if you act normal enough, they might even be more cooperative and not need to die by the end of this all.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We only need to stop their threat. We don’t need to kill them.”

That… actually made her feel a lot better. Maybe the innocent people she liked could be saved after all! She was in a much better mood after that. Envy was also especially nice, taking her out for a nice walk around the city. She guessed that it was mostly just to help her feel better after everything she’d been through lately. He did need her acting as normal as possible for the last part of the mission, after all. He even bought her a new dress which he let her pick. And he was nice the next day, too. All in all, it was a pleasant enough weekend.

When she went back to her job, with the new motivation, she found it a lot easier to behave in a normal way. She still worried, but at least she was a far more hopeful now. Everything seemed back to normal. It was all a waiting game now.

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The next weeks were just normal for Alice. Nothing was quite out of the routine, aside from Envy being slightly (very, very slightly) nicer than usual. He was taking care to bring her mostly the foods she liked best, and he also insulted her a bit less. While she found this rather strange, she was also not going to complain. Whatever moments of peace she got, she would take. They normally didn’t last very long, after all. Because of this, she was bemused, but not entirely surprised, at the fact that, one night, she heard what had she was pretty sure were screams of agony. They sounded faint only due to distance. Since Envy was away, she guessed she’d have to ask him later when he came back.

Of course, when he did come back, he didn’t seem to be in the best mood. He didn’t seem angry, though. He was more… melancholic than anything. That was very unlike him.

“Did… something happen?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“I heard screams. What was that?”

“Oh, you heard them all the way here?” he asked, scratching the back of his head. “I guess he was really loud.”

“Who?”

“Remember what I told you could happen to me if I became enough of a failure?”

“Well… I think so. You said your father would kill you.”

“Yep. Well… that’s what just happened to Greed.”

“Greed? Isn’t that one of your siblings?”

“He WAS my older brother, yes. Wrath found him and captured him and since he didn’t want to come back to work for us, Father killed him.”

“But that’s horrible! He was your brother! You… you just lost a brother! That’s tragic!”

“Tragic? I lost that brother a hundred years ago, when the bastard betrayed us,” Envy replied, frowning and gritting his teeth. “He only got what he deserved.”

“But… he was your brother!”

“Yeah, and I finished feeling bad about it many decades ago. I told you. He was lost to us the moment he betrayed us. It’s been a century since then. He was not our brother anymore. Just a bothersome traitor.”

The way he spoke of this whole affair made Alice uncomfortable. She had figured Envy was only callous towards humans, but it seemed he was fairly cold towards his own family too. Even if it had been a hundred years since they’d considered Greed lost to them, they must have felt SOMETHING when he died. She was almost glad to hear that he’d felt something back then. She didn’t really want Envy to feel bad, but at least if he did, that meant he was a bit more human. She wondered if the gloomy thoughtfulness she had noticed meant he actually felt something, even if he denied it. She seriously just wanted to see him as more human. Everything somehow felt easier if he was more human-like. It at least meant that he might feel a bit sorry for all the horrible things he did, or that he at least had the potential to.

“So… you really feel nothing about your brother being killed?” she asked.

“It’s complicated. It’s not that I feel nothing. It’s just that by now, all I feel towards him is anger. He betrayed us! Not only that, but he’s continued to get in our way since. We had no idea where he was, but he still managed to be bothersome!”

“How could he bother you without you even knowing where he was?”

“He made this underground network of chimeras.”

“Wait. Aren’t chimeras, well… beastly monsters?”

“The failures are, for the most part. Or the ones that are just made with animals. We have both types around here. But the properly-created chimeras look at least mostly human, but they have senses and abilities that humans don’t have that come from the animals they’re created with. The best can even change their shape into a more beastly form. But really, those are very rare.”

“Human chimeras?! You mean there were experiments to turn people into animals?!”

“No, not quite. Yeah, there’s been experiments on humans. But the point isn’t to turn them into animals. It’s to augment their human bodies with skills and traits from animals.”

“But those kinds of experiments on humans are awful! Did they even consent to it!?”

“No. Still, the people used in these experiments were people who were going to die anyways. They were soldiers that were mortally injured in war. Instead of letting them die, they were combined with animals and their lives were saved,” Envy replied. “I told you. We’re not complete monsters. It’s not like we have a habit of grabbing random people off the streets to turn them into animals. We just give some soldiers a new chance at life.”

While she still found that pretty unethical, at least it was somewhat less awful than it could be. She didn’t say anything, though.

“Anyways, those are the kinds of people Greed allied himself with. And they kept stealing the successful chimeras away from our laboratories! So now we have almost no good chimeras left!”

She could see how that would be a problem. Still, she would barely consider it a reason to want a brother dead. Then again, she was human and had been raised to respect others and appreciate them and to feel more empathy. She doubted the Homunculi had that luxury. Their father, after all, seemed almost incapable of feelings. She still remembered the callous and, frankly, cruel way he’d forced Envy to date her, without the slightest consideration to how he might feel about it. Was it any wonder that they were all so cold and nasty? There was nothing she could do, though, aside from making sure she didn’t help make his mood any worse.

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It took Envy a few days for his mood to fully recover, even though he claimed he was completely fine whenever Alice asked if something was up. At one point, he’d even lifted his hand to try to strike her when she asked, but she’d barely managed to duck out of the way. Though he didn’t try to do that again, Alice knew better than to keep asking. She was just trying to be cautious, really, as knowing about his mood was the best idea. She figured that it was still something about Greed that was bothering him, but to ask him about his mood while he was feeling that way was asking for trouble. She’d just watch him more carefully and wait for his mood to actually get better on its own.

That actually worked and soon enough, things were back to normal… at least for a time. Lily had still not asked Alice to go back for the last meeting they’d have, and she was thinking about that during lunch, when there was a huge commotion. A young officer named Maria Ross was arrested, apparently as a suspect of a murder.

“Did you hear that? She’s the suspect for the murder of Lieutenant Colonel Hughes,” Melissa, who often sat next to Alice at lunch, said.

“Hughes?! You don’t mean that really nice officer that was always boasting about his wife and daughter, surely!” Alice exclaimed.

“Yes, the very one,” Melissa said. “It was a horrible affair. They found him shot in a phone booth. Right in the heart, so there was blood everywhere. I feel awfully sorry for whoever made that horrible discovery.”

“Oh, but he was so nice! Who would do a thing like that?!”

“Maria Ross, apparently,” Melissa said.

“But for what reason?” Susie asked.

“Who knows? Maybe he caught her in an affair with someone important. You know… someone who could give out promotions,” Melissa answered.

“There’s no reason to think like that,” Herman said. “This is likely a mistake. They do have to check every possible suspect.”

Still, there was a lot of gossip related to that the entire day. Alice felt pretty awful about hearing that Hughes was dead. He had been such a nice guy, so innocent and happy. She wondered what had happened. She wondered, too, if eventually there’d be that kind of gossip about… no, she couldn’t think of that. Envy had said that if she cooperated, things would most likely go well. She believed that. She wanted to. She NEEDED to.

The day after the arrest of Maria Ross, Alice could tell that things weren’t going very well for the Homunculi. Whenever Envy seemed to go missing the entire day, she could tell things were going very poorly. That day, he didn’t even keep her at work the entire day. Instead, he picked her up early, gave her enough food for about three meals and hurriedly left, wearing his coat.

He returned many hours later. Alice figured it was night by then. She heard him open the door and, when she looked up, expecting to see him the same way he always looked, she was outright horrified. He was there, but his coat was practically drenched in blood and torn up.

“Envy?!” Alice gasped.

He said nothing, but his gaze met hers. She had never before seen such pain in those purple eyes. It was only for a fleeting moment, though, as his expression soon became distant, almost shell-shocked.

“What happened? Your coat! It’s full of blood.”

“Yes. Mine.” Envy replied.

His voice was spiritless. Something was deeply, deeply wrong.

“What happened?!”

He turned to her again with an expression of rage, sorrow and something that almost made him seem like some kind of lost young person.

“Lust is dead,” he said simply, turning away from her again.

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He had not wanted Alice to see him in that state. Or, well, anyone, really. In front of Father and Wrath and Gluttony, he had raged. He had channeled every single emotion into screaming as loud as he could at Wrath, berating him for letting the Flame Alchemist escape, practically spitting at Wrath, ordering him to go and finish the job. He would gladly have done it himself, but Wrath had been the one that had let the murderer escape. He had to be the one to fix it. But his outburst had been for nothing. Father had given the job to Wrath. There was nothing Envy could do now. Lust was dead and those responsible for it were getting away with no punishment. The sheer injustice of it all pierced him to his very soul. He had screamed, he had spat, he had raged, but in reality, he would have liked to do what Gluttony had done. Gluttony had just broken down crying. Of course, Gluttony had an advantage for that which Envy didn’t have. Gluttony wasn’t very smart. In fact, his mental capacity was pretty impaired. He didn’t HAVE to be strong. Nobody would really blame an idiot for showing weakness. Envy, on the other hand, wasn’t an idiot. It was true that he often let his temper get the best of him and he’d done some rather… unwise… things, but he was very intelligent. If he showed weakness, Father might call him a failure. And Father did not tolerate failures.

And thus, he did what he usually did when he felt weak and didn’t want to show it. He hid it. At least, he tried to do so. He knew he wouldn’t be able to, but he had learned to work around that too. He’d just… be angry.  No one had ever thought him pathetic for getting angry. Anger wasn’t a weak emotion. But of course, after screaming at Wrath that much and then getting the added frustration of Father agreeing with Wrath about how to handle the Flame Alchemist, he was having a lot of trouble seeming ONLY angry. That was why he’d retired to his room. Except he’d forgotten, in his stress, that his room was where he now kept his human pet. The first thing she’d asked had been about the blood stains on his coat. He’d have to wash those off, yes. All they were was a reminder of his own failure. If he hadn’t failed, he would have been there when Lust was attacked, and, of course, he would have helped her. Then maybe she’d still be… well, alive.

He wasn’t one to feel much guilt. He had been taught since he was born that a lot of the things that others might consider wrong that he and his siblings did (like causing wars), were justified and necessary in their case. The very purpose of the human race was to serve them and their plans. It was no different from humans playing with a magnifying glass over an ant, or from their spraying poisons on certain places to get all the insects out. However, it was in great part his own failure (and Gluttony’s) that had led to Lust’s death. He had never really been taught much about how he SHOULD feel towards his own kin. But since they all worked together towards Father’s wishes, well, he couldn’t help liking most of them. Especially Lust. He’d actually had a connection with her. And, well, now she was gone. Only Gluttony, Wrath, Pride and Sloth were left. And, well, Gluttony liked him and everything, but he wasn’t very smart. Wrath was just a brat that was always very busy. Pride was almost impossible for him to get along with. And Sloth? Sloth was even harder to so much as engage in any sort of exchange. If he’d ever been alone… now he was even more so.

And here was his little brat pet, asking him about what happened. What was he supposed to do now? What was he supposed to tell her? Her eyes had gone wide as soon as he’d mentioned Lust’s death. He turned away, but then turned back when he heard a small sniffle. She was CRYING?!

“What’s this? Why are YOU crying, of all people?!” he snapped.

He hated the fact that SHE was able to cry, that SHE was permitted any weakness. It made him want to crush something.

“I liked Lust,” she replied. “Who would do a thing like that?!”

“Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist,” Envy replied, his voice almost a growl. “Do you want to know what he did to her? He burned her to death. Multiple times because of her regenerative powers.”

“W… what?!”

“Yeah! That guy you were so giddy about meeting before burned Lust into ashes. Multiple times.”

“Why?!”

“I told you before. Humans consider us monsters. The self-righteous ones think they’re so great because they don’t hurt other human beings, or they try not to. But those they consider monsters? It doesn’t matter that they too can feel pain and they too think and may have dreams and plans and feelings. Oh, no. They just get slaughtered like animals!”

“I’m… I’m so sorry to hear that!”

“I don’t need your pity! Just shut up!”

“I… I can’t believe she’s gone…”

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

She flinched and he enjoyed seeing that. He wanted her to feel pain, even though he knew that he should at least not be the one causing it. At the same time, all he wanted was comfort, but if he couldn’t have it, he wanted those around him to feel as he did. Or worse. Preferably worse. It was almost good to see that Alice was pretty miserable now, though she couldn’t be as miserable as he was, having known Lust longer, but she was also scared. That, at least, calmed him down slightly. She was very still and very silent, aside from the quiet sniffling from her grieving. He sat down on the couch, trying to gather his thoughts and desperately attempting to keep himself composed. He knew he would fail, however.

“Go to sleep,” he commanded his pet, his voice still sounding composed, if rather brusque.

“I can’t sleep now. I’m sorry,” she replied.

She had to go to sleep. He did not want her to see him like this.

“If you don’t, I will drag you to the bed and keep you pinned down until you do fall asleep.”

“I’m sorry! After this happened… I can’t sleep.”

Well  if she wouldn’t obey him, he would just go through with his threat. He walked over to the table, dragged her up, and carried her over to the bed. She did not dare protest. He climbed on the bed beside her and put an arm around her, easily keeping her from moving with the weight of his arm. He pulled her close, his chin leaning on her head, so that she wouldn’t be able to see his face. He knew she would likely have some trouble breathing freely due to how heavy his arms were, but he didn’t care. And though she was trembling slightly, she knew better than to make a single complaint.

“I’m really sorry about what happened. I know how you must feel,” she said with a shaky voice.

He had to fight the sudden urge to strangle her.

“Shut up. You understand nothing.”

“Even if it is not the same, I lost my whole family and my home. So I understand. A little, at least. I’m so sorry...”

He said nothing. He shut his eyes tight, but he knew he’d lost that particular battle anyways. He only hoped she would not feel the moisture on her head as his tears betrayed his broken heart. He felt small and pathetic. He was far too weak. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew that had always been a problem with him. But as long as no one else found out about that, he could pretend there was not a problem at all.


	29. Enigmatic Emotions

## Chapter 29 - Enigmatic Emotions

If there was one thing Alice could say with certainty about that night, it was that she had never expected Envy to act that way. She knew he was extremely upset, but the last thing she anticipated was his dragging her over to the bed and keeping her immobilized with an arm. She’d been, quite frankly, terrified. She felt as though she was functioning as a teddy bear for a savage lion. She didn’t dare move, and she barely dared to breathe. Though he let go of her at some point during the night, much to her relief, it had still been a horrifying experience. At the same time, it made her feel very sad. She’d felt sorry for Envy before, with how his freedom always seemed so limited. She’d also noticed how despite his smiles and laughter, he didn’t really seem happy. But after seeing how he’d practically broken down the night before, she wondered, more than ever, if he was okay at all. She was starting to get the impression that Envy was not just unhappy, but outright miserable. The way he’d struggled to keep his feelings in check showed a person overwhelmed by their emotions in ways that a happy person wouldn’t be. She felt a strange kind of empathy towards him. After all, she knew only too well what it was like to be miserable and have to hide it.

He seemed fine the next day, or at least, completely functional. He looked slightly more serious, but other than that, it was almost as though the last night had never happened. As other times when he’d been more melancholic than anything, he was actually nicer to her than usual. He would never mention that night’s events, however. She wasn’t surprised about that. He always avoided awkward things of that sort.

Alice may not have known Lust as well as Envy did, but she still was struck pretty heavily by her death. Lust was one of the few people who knew about her situation and with whom she felt, well, more free. Unlike the other Homunculi, Lust had actually spent some time with Alice and wasn’t a complete stranger. It may not have been much, but it still made her mournful to lose what she had come to consider a friend… of sorts, but still a friend. Thinking of the way she was killed only made things worse.

All this made getting back to her routine harder, but she managed to keep a mostly normal appearance. In a somewhat twisted form of irony, her illness was actually useful in being used as an excuse if anyone did ask about why she looked so downcast. All she had to do was say that she felt more sick than usual and people stopped asking questions.

It was a few nights later, before she’d even really gotten adjusted into her routine again, when Envy woke her up at what had to be insane hours of the night. He’d left shortly after dinner and she had gone to sleep before he had come back. He looked slightly bothered.

“Come on, let’s go,” he said.

“Huh? Where to?”

“Well, we’re going to travel by train to some run-down town.”

“What time is it?”

“Who cares? Some time before sunrise. This won’t be a very long trip.”

“Do I have to go?”

“I’d like to say no, but we never know how long it might take. And a bit of hunger won’t kill you, it’s true, but nor will it be GOOD for you.”

“What’s this about?”

“Well. We need to bring someone over here to Central. The way things are going, we may have trouble sparing time to do that when we actually need him here. So it’s best to do so now.”

“Oh. Okay, then.”

She got up and got dressed as quickly as she could, following Envy out of the room. They met up with Gluttony and then walked to the train station. She hated having to walk there, especially so early, but what else could she even do? There’d be time to rest during the trip. Maybe she’d even get a bit more sleep to make up for the rest she was missing now. She didn’t dare lean on Envy’s shoulder without his asking her to, even if it was more comfortable than hanging her head. But as soon as she began to doze off, she felt his hand pull her head towards his shoulder. Gluttony, much like a child, laid down on the seat and fell asleep. A few hours later, Envy woke Alice up by poking her sharply on her shoulder. She had a slight headache so she supposed Envy had leaned on her head again.

“Gluttony, come on, let’s go,” he said.

Gluttony got up quickly and he and Alice followed Envy out of the train. The station was very small, and looking at the village it belonged to, it was obvious why. The place seemed very poor, barely worth a train station. Envy went into the bathroom, and a few moments later, a beefy man in a military uniform came out, holding Envy’s coat. She was surprised for a moment until she recognized the purple eyes. He held out the coat for Alice to take. She put it on. There was something heavy in one pocket.

“You won’t come with us because you would just get in the way,” Envy said. “But I want you to make yourself useful and go get something for all of us to eat. Some sandwiches will work. Buy enough for seven people. And once you are done, get us four tickets back to Central on the next train to depart.”

“Seven people?!”

“Well, yeah. Gotta give some to Gluttony too. Oh yes, yes. There’s a pouch with money in one of the pockets. Just don’t spend all of it.”

With that, he motioned for Gluttony to follow him and walked away, leaving Alice to wonder what they were up to, what that disguise meant and who they were bringing back. In the meantime, she walked into town, making sure she followed a different way than Envy.

The town was certainly much as she had first judged it. There was nothing to see and very little to do. Thankfully, she had no problem finding a shop where she could get the requested sandwiches. Everything the town lacked in fanciness, its people more than made up in friendliness. Taking that into account, it was indeed a very charming little town. She would have liked to spend some more time walking around, but she didn’t want Envy to go back before she did and be mad at her not having the train tickets ready. She went and bought them, and then she sat at the station, holding the bag of sandwiches on one hand and her cane with the other.

It was not very long before Envy and Gluttony came back, followed by a middle-aged man who looked extremely miserable. Alice wondered if he was being forced to come much the same way she was forced to work for them. If he was, she wondered what it was they had threatened him with.

“Give me my coat,” Envy said.

Alice handed it over and Envy walked back into the bathroom, emerging as his usual self. The man was looking at her with a mix of curiosity and horror, but he did not speak. All of them got aboard the next train, beginning their journey back to Central. Gluttony quickly took a window seat and spent most of the trip watching out the window. Envy allowed Alice to lean on his shoulder to sleep, but didn’t actually sleep himself this time. What he did do was abruptly get up in the first stop, nearly causing her to fall to the floor. She rubbed her eyes and took the opportunity to actually have breakfast.

“Can I have some? Please?” Gluttony asked.

“Oh, of course,” she replied, handing him a sandwich.

The man that they’d brought with them was looking at Alice with a shocked expression. He seemed to be debating with himself whether or not to say something. At last, he did.

“Why are you with these people?” he asked. His voice was quiet enough to not be overheard by others. “You do not look like the kind of person that would willingly associate with them.”

She was surprised at the question, and she had no idea what to even say. How much did this man know about the Homunculi? Why had they even brought him? She figured that they had forced him to come with them somehow. The miserable look in his eyes… she knew it only too well. And besides, if it were someone that would come willingly… they wouldn’t have had to come all this way to get him. Still, this was a new situation. This man actually knew about Gluttony and Envy, unlike pretty much everyone else she’d seen so far.

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said after a split second of hesitation, a bit quickly due to her nervousness.

“You’re working with them… or for them. Why?”

“I chose this. Please… don’t ask me more. Do you want a sandwich? I was asked to buy one for you too.”

He shook his head, but as he was taking a deep breath to reply, Envy came back.

“What were you two talking about?” he asked.

“I was wondering… who is this girl? Why is she with you?” the older man asked.

“Oh, how rude of me! I haven’t introduced you to each other, had I? Alice, this is Doctor Marcoh. He’s worked for us before. Marcoh, this is Alice. She’s been working for us for a long while now. You’d never believe the lengths she’s gone to in order to be of service! She’s truly an example you should follow, Doctor Marcoh~!”

“Have you even told her the things you actually do?” Marcoh asked, venom in his voice.

“Well. Some of it. But, really, after all the effort she’s put into helping us? Even if I told her everything, I doubt it’d make a difference. Why, she’s even married me, just to further our goals~!”

She hated him for saying that, especially in that way. Marcoh looked horrified, but he wasn’t inclined to say any more. She wondered how much Marcoh could tell about her actual willingness to participate in the Homunculi’s plans. However, she didn’t dare say anything to contradict what Envy had said. Even if that meant losing a possible ally (however small that possibility was), it was better than going against Envy. Almost anything was.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She didn’t see Marcoh again after they got back home. Envy asked Gluttony to take Alice away and he led her to Envy’s room. There she waited for her jailer. She wanted to ask him about Marcoh. She was curious about what this unassuming man could do that was so important to them, that they’d take a train ride just to fetch him and force him to come to Central. He looked like a man that was tormented by something. It was an easy look to acquire when Envy was involved, she felt, but she still wondered. He hadn’t had nearly enough time with him right now to cause him to feel that way. Had that look been the result of whatever work he’d done before? She didn’t think Envy would give her details, but she still could try to ask him. He seemed happy enough when he returned.

“This Doctor Marcoh… you said he worked with you before?” she asked after Envy had sat down at the table, hours later, for dinner.

“Yep.”

“What did he do?”

“Well, he made Philosopher’s Stones for us.”

“Oh. Why does he look so miserable, then?”

She did not like the way Envy grinned.

“Well, aside from a few issues with the process,” he said, “one of the stones was used in the war.”

She knew already that the Stone was capable of doing a lot. He didn’t need to go into details for her to understand why Marcoh could possibly feel that way. But she wondered why the process could possibly make him miserable.

“Issues with the process?” she asked.

“Yep.”

“What issues?”

“Issues you wouldn’t neither be interested in, nor do I think it’s at all something a little girl like you, with no knowledge of alchemy or anything, should go and concern herself with. Maybe I’ll explain the process to you sometime, but not today.”

She nodded. She was curious, but she supposed that her best chance to learn more would be to be patient. She wondered, though, where Doctor Marcoh was going to be working. It would be difficult for her to keep a composed face if she had to see that miserable face, especially knowing that he would know about her situation. Even if he knew only very little, it was still more than anyone else and she was still desperate for some kind of understanding.

“Am I going to be seeing Doctor Marcoh at work?” she asked.

“No. He’s staying with us. He’s going to be lonely! I’d spend more time with him, but I have my precious little pet here, waiting for my delightful company~!”

She took a bit of a breath to reply but then decided it was best to let him keep that delusion. He probably only meant that she was more amusing to harass than Doctor Marcoh, anyways. What else could he possibly mean?

“Anyway, even if he were going to work outside like you, I don’t think he’d even want to be anywhere near you. I had a little chat with him, see. I told him all about you~! All about how dedicated, and eager you are to help us. He’s convinced you are completely on our side, perfectly willingly, and I might have stretched the truth a bit about you and me. I think he has some rather… inappropriate images of the way we get along~!” he smiled.

Inappropriate images?!

“Oh my god! What did you tell him?!” she asked, horrified.

“Oh, nothing too awful~! I might have mentioned your lips are all pretty and soft, and I might have begun comparing them to something else, but trailed off before mentioning what I was comparing to~! And other things of that sort~!”

“Why?! You hate that stuff anyways!”

“Well, yes, but he doesn’t know it and he doesn’t need to. At any rate, I disgusted him enough that I don’t think he would so much as approach you, let alone TALK to you. Not that you can even get to where we’re keeping him! But I’d rather be safe. Oh, but wait! You’ll LOVE to know where we’re keeping him~!”

“Where?” she asked with a sigh.

“We put him in your old cell~! Isn’t it just lovely that your loving cooperation gave us space to put this poor, hapless man into? If you hadn’t cooperated, we might even have let him stay free!”

She shook her head, hating what Envy was saying, hating the fact that he was pinning this on her. She was not guilty of this, and yet he managed to make her feel as though it was entirely her fault that Doctor Marcoh was stuck with the Homunculi. She knew only too well that anyone stuck with Envy was going to be in a world of hell. She was used to Envy, but she couldn’t imagine Doctor Marcoh was.

Still, she was glad that she was not going to be seeing much of Marcoh during work. She was, however, quite unhappy about the fact that any chance she might have gotten to actually befriend and talk to the only person that might be able to understand what she had gone through, aside from her jailers, was completely ruined by Envy. She hadn’t helped things, certainly, by not contradicting Envy, but the only reason she had said nothing was because she already knew what would happen. He really was thorough about keeping her isolated.

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After Marcoh’s arrival, one thing occupied Alice’s mind more than anything else, and it was something that she wished she could think of less: Envy. Ever since she’d seen him so vulnerable when Lust died, she really wanted to understand him more. He made no sense to her, however. She had seen him show an intense vulnerability that she had never expected in him, and she had come to better understand how miserable he must actually be. And yet, he didn’t seem to act that way. The way he behaved- the impossibly quick temper, the apparent addiction to tormenting people, the arrogance that didn’t seem to fit in with the ease with which he was insulted, the way he almost seemed to sabotage any possibly nice thing he could possibly do… all those things spoke of a very troubled and miserable individual. And yet, one could never really see that in his eyes, aside from that time after Lust’s death. He sometimes seemed a bit melancholy, but never to the point the rest of his personality seemed to indicate he should be. Mostly he smiled, he found way too much joy at the expense of others, and he generally seemed perfectly jovial, if very prone to anger. The only explanation she could think of was compensation… but who could possibly be so good at that? The only real and constant sign that something was seriously wrong with him was his temper… and, well, some people were naturally that way. But from what she’d learned of him, there was just something… off… about that temper of his. What it was, though, she couldn’t tell.

Since after the wedding, she had honestly thought far less about the people she tended to hang out with. She’d given up truly befriending them and they only actually crossed her mind during her work days. Vincent had apparently given up on Solaris and had begun to be much friendlier to her again. But aside from being polite about it, she didn’t give it much thought. It was only until a few days after Marcoh’s arrival that she went to the lunch table and didn’t see Vincent there.

“Where’s Vincent?” Alice asked Herman.

He looked somewhat crestfallen.

“He’s been deployed to the border conflict with Aerugo. He only got the notice yesterday afternoon, and had to leave immediately.”

“Deployed?! Oh, no!”

“Things in the border with Aerugo are terribly bad right now. However, all we can do is pray for his safe return.”

Everyone had a lot to say about the situation in the south. Alice was horrified to learn that it was possibly the most dangerous place to go to at the moment. She looked very distressed for the rest of the day, so much that Envy actually bothered to ask her about it.

“Well, now. You look pretty upset. What happened? Something that might impact our plans?” he asked

“Vincent was deployed to the south, to fight in the border conflict with Aerugo,” she replied.

“Oh, really, so it finally happened? Took Wrath a while to arrange that,” he said with a lazy kind of tone.

“What?!” she exclaimed. “Did you have something to do with this?!”

“Well, I did warn you to stay away from him. You were doing so great, too, but these past few days? He was all over you and you didn’t even seem to notice. It was starting to attract attention, so I had Wrath take care of the little problem for us.”

“How could you do that?! What if he dies?!”

“That’s actually the whole point! If not, I’d have him sent to East City or some rural outpost somewhere. But he’d probably be alive after that. The North is brutal, but the Northern Wall of Briggs isn’t about to let soldiers die for no good reason… so Aerugo was the best bet,” Envy replied placidly.

“Why?! You said that if I cooperated you wouldn’t kill my friends!”

“And I’m not the one killing them, am I? I’d warned you about Vincent, but you wouldn’t listen, so there it is.”

“You’re a monster!”

His placid smile turned into a glare.

“Don’t you dare insult me, human scum! I warned you! I was actually far too nice, allowing you chance after chance to fix your behaviour! But you wouldn’t listen! And when I have someone entirely unrelated ask me if I’ve noticed the way he flirts with you, I’m not going to just sit still and do nothing about it!”

She was in tears of rage and frustration, but there was nothing to do aside from what Herman had said. All she could do was hope for his safe return. And as much as she hated the fact that he’d been deployed, there was no point to even staying furious at Envy anymore. Feeling like that towards the one person she really interacted with was far too draining and soon enough all she had left was apathy.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About a week after that, Envy left after dinner to take some food to Doctor Marcoh’s cell. He seemed to be in a pretty decent mood, so Alice knew he would take a while. After all, he would be unable to resist spending some time with the poor doctor just to torment him. However, when he didn’t return for hours, she began to grow worried. It wasn’t like him to disappear like that. Where could he have gone? What if something had happened to him? He didn’t return, though, even as the night advanced. As her mind grew increasingly tired and began to exhaust all the possibilities of what could have happened to Envy, she remembered Lust. What if Envy had run into the same person that had killed Lust?! What if he was dead?! She was almost in a panic, and even though exhaustion claimed her, the moment she slept, dreams of a bloodied, dead Envy kept invading her mind, causing her to jolt awake. The thought of losing the only person around here who cared at all about her welfare and, more importantly, was the only one who actually kept her company was horrifying. Late in the morning, she nearly jumped up when the door creaked as it opened.

“Envy?!” she called out.

Sure enough, there he was. He didn’t look hurt, though he looked exhausted.

“I thought I’d find you asleep still,” he said. “Instead, you look like you didn’t even sleep.”

“I… haven’t really. Maybe bits here and there, but…”

“... Why? Were you hungry? I could have sworn I gave you something to eat before I left.”

“I… just couldn’t sleep.”

He looked at her with wide eyes for several seconds. She wondered if he realized what this meant, and if that meant anything to him, or if he was really as oblivious and cold as he acted. She couldn’t read his expression, though. He didn’t say anything, though, as if he were dumbstruck.

“What happened?” she asked. “Where were you?”

“Gluttony was captured. I went to pick him up. However, things got out of control,” he replied. “I… thought I was going to die.”

“What?!”

“Yup. Gluttony devoured me and the Fullmetal pipsqueak, plus his little friend from Xing. As far as I knew, there was no exit… yet, the Fullmetal pipsqueak somehow pulled us all out. And, well… Father has remade Greed using the body of the Xingese brat. A lot of things happened. I suppose I’ll even introduce you to the new Greed sometime.”

He seemed almost too calm about the whole thing. She had to wonder whether he was in some sort of shock, or whether that was him still compensating for whatever was wrong with him. No one could be so calm about all that stuff happening in a night. Gluttony ate him? And yet he survived? And there were others eaten too? And Greed was back?

“Are you okay?” she asked. It was, really, the only thing she could think of to say.

He looked at her with wide eyes again and an almost disturbed expression.

“Are you sure you’re not getting sick or something? I think the lack of sleep seriously messed you up,” he said.

“No, I’m not getting sick.”

“You don’t mean you were… WORRIED about me, right?!”

“I… didn’t want you to die... “

“How pathetic! Ugh! Just go to sleep already, will you? Take a nap or something! I’ll bring you breakfast in the meantime.”

She sighed and looked towards the floor. Of course he’d think that. Most people would at least be happy if someone else cared about them enough to bother to worry about them. But not Envy. He just HAD to call that worry pathetic. He made no sense at all. Why had she even bothered to worry about him?! It wasn’t like he could really appreciate it anyways! And yet, she couldn’t help it. It went beyond the fact he was her provider. He was also her only companion, even if he treated her this way. As she felt a knot forming in her throat from the sheer frustration and strong emotions she’d felt, he turned away to leave. But as he did, she was shocked to see his lips curling upwards slightly, as if he were smiling.


	30. Cherished Acquisition

## Chapter 30 - Cherished Acquisition

A few days later, after Envy left to bring dinner, he came back followed by a tall young man with black hair, shifty eyes and foreign-looking features. The young man was carrying his own tray of food. Alice wondered if this was Greed, and her suspicions were all but confirmed when she looked at the tattoo on his hand, and the purple eyes. The only two Homunculi she hadn’t met were Sloth and Greed, and since this wasn’t a big, stupid oaf, it had to be Greed.

“Ooh, so this is the girl?” he asked.

“Yup,” Envy said. “Its- I mean her name is Alice. So, Alice, meet Greed. Greed, meet Alice.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Greed said, extending a hand towards her.

She took it and shook it.

“Nice to meet you too,” she replied.

“Whoa, so you seriously MARRIED this girl?” Greed asked.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Envy replied.

“Does she even know you’re-” Greed started to ask

“No she doesn’t and you’d best not tell her!” Envy interrupted.

“You probably should show her.”

“Show me what?” Alice asked.

“Nothing you need to worry about!” Envy replied. He turned to Greed. “Greed, if you say one more word about that, I swear I’ll destroy you.”

“Relax! So, you happy with your wife?”

“Wife? She’s my wife in name only. She’s more of a pet.”

Really, it was lovely to have them talk like this about her right in front of her.

“Well, okay. You happy with your pet?”

“Actually, yeah. I really like her! She’s so devoted and obedient, too!”

Alice blinked in surprise. She hadn’t expected Envy to say that he liked her, much less to her face.

“Whoa. YOU like a human?” Greed asked, apparently also surprised.

“I know, right? I didn’t expect it either. And yet, well, there it is. It’s probably the amount of time I’ve had her. I got her years ago. So I guess I got really used to her,” Envy said with a shrug.

“Wait. You LIKE me?!” Alice asked.

“Huh? Oh. You mean you hadn’t noticed? Despite how nice I am with you?” Envy asked, seeming quite surprised.

Well, if his idea of being nice was being slightly less abusive and giving her a few more token gestures of kindness, well… she supposed she could see it.

“I… guess so?” she said, somewhat hesitantly.

“Yeah, see? I’m perfectly nice,” Envy said with a grin.

“I guess she’s pretty alright as an acquisition,” Greed said.

The conversation moved to other topics, with Alice just listening. Greed seemed a much nicer person than Envy. She hoped she would get to know him a bit better. Still, she remembered what Envy had said about Homunculi that were created by using a human being. Hadn’t he said that Greed was remade with the body of a guy from Xing? She wondered if he was still inside and what he was like.

And she was also surprised at what she’d heard Envy say. She hadn’t thought he actually would feel something that he could call liking. But that’s what he had said and he’d seemed sincere. That was… strange. She didn’t know what to think of this. She supposed it was just easier to pretend he’d never said that. Or at least, she could try. It was such a shocking thing, though, she knew she’d find it very hard.

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She did see Greed again after that. A few times, he was actually the one who brought dinner to her when Envy left during the evenings, presumably to catch up in the many responsibilities he’d been having to neglect after Lust’s death. He sometimes stayed to chat, mostly with Envy, but the few times he brought her dinner, he also stayed to talk to her for a short while.

“Hey, kid, cheer up, will you?” he said one of those evenings. “You look gloomy enough to blot out the sunlight.”

That day had been especially dreadful. During lunch, Herman had said that he had not received communication from Vincent in several days. There was a chance he’d been killed in action, and they wouldn’t even know for a while with the way things were going there.

“Envy had a friend of mine sent to the war in the border with Aerugo. He might have died. His family hasn’t heard from him in a while,” she said, with a tone every bit as miserable as her face.

“Ohh, that. Yeah, he told me,” Greed said. “He said the guy was flirting so outrageously with you, that a few people went to ask him if he realized that he was doing that and likely trying to steal his wife. He says you didn’t even try to stop him, so he was really upset. He was actually going to kill him himself and force you to watch.”

“He was… what?!”

“You heard me. In the end, he thought it was more than you could handle, so he changed his mind.”

She wasn’t sure what to think of that. But she was horrified at the fact that Envy had planned to do a thing like that. She was relieved he’d changed his mind, but she wondered why. When had he really worried about whether or not she could handle something?

“I wish he were nicer. Sending my friend off to die was awful...”

“From what I’ve seen of Envy, the fact he has kept you alive as long as he says he has is already much nicer than he normally is. And yeah, I guess it wasn’t nice to send your friend away, but hey. If he was flirting with you… you realize Envy is a pretty jealous person, right?”

The thought hadn’t even occurred to her.

“Jealous? Him? Of what?”

“It’s the way he’s made. He’s prone to jealousy. If this guy was flirting with you… and hey, I can understand not stopping him. I mean, one husband can hardly be enough, right? But Envy’s not going to see it that way. He’s going to want you to stay loyal to him only.”

“That’s no reason to try to kill someone!”

“Well, hey, it’s not my problem. I may want everything in the world... but that means the good stuff. Not other people’s problems. Still, jealousy can make people act pretty violently.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t actually think of Envy as being jealous… of Vincent of all people. Didn’t Envy go on and on about how superior he was to humans? With what Greed said, she wondered now if those feelings were genuine or if he was compensating for that too.

“Oh, hey, before I forget. You’re his wife, so you should know this. Is Envy a dude or a gal? I mean, we call Envy a he, but Father never calls him a son, and I really can’t tell with him sometimes with the way he acts and speaks.”

“You heard him. I’m his wife in name only. But I asked him once and he said he didn’t know or care, since he could be anything he needed to be.”

“Ooh, okay. That makes sense. He’s probably neither. Or both! I should go and have a little talk with him,” Greed said.

With that, he left. Alice stared after him. What a strange person, this Greed. She wondered what about Envy’s gender he’d found so fascinating that he just HAD to go and find him. Surely, his ambiguous gender was indeed strange, but, well, she just didn’t see the point in asking him further questions. Perhaps it was just because she had grown so used to him that she didn’t see his mannerisms as weird anymore. Sure, he sometimes acted too girly and other times just masculine enough, but she’d just grown to see it as a normal quirk of his. She just hoped Greed wouldn’t annoy Envy. She’d be the one to pay for that.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why exactly did you go and tell Greed about me not being a man?” Envy demanded to know the next day.

“He asked,” Alice replied with a shrug. “I thought you guys were siblings and ought to know that. I mean, I know it’s not like I can go and tell Herman you’re not a man. But I thought it was okay to let Greed know.”

“Yeah, you see, the problem with Greed is that he wants to have EVERYTHING. He’s never had anything like me, and I don’t want him getting any funny ideas!”

“What kind of funny ideas could he get? It’s not like he has you blackmailed or hostage or captured or threatened or with anything else that’d give him power over you.”

Envy gave a frown, and a small cough.

“Oh, Envy, show me what someone who is neither man nor woman looks like!” Envy said, perfectly imitating Greed’s voice. “Oh, Envy, let me poke your chest and see if it feels like a woman’s! So, Envy, if you have sex, do you pick the bottom or the top? Hey, Envy, how do you have sex with your wife if you’re not a man? Oh, Envy, when you need to use the toilet, do you stand up? Envy, take your clothes off, I need to know if I’d be interested in your body! And,” he continued, returning to his normal voice, “if he thinks up any more questions that he knows will annoy me, HE IS GOING TO ASK THEM TOO!”

Alice pretended to burst into a coughing fit to hide the fact that she was laughing. A few seconds later, she composed herself, even though she was sure her eyes showed amusement still.

“Did he seriously ask you all that?!” she asked.

“YES.”

“I’m so sorry! I had no idea he’d do that!” she said, not sounding at all apologetic.

He sat down next to Alice on the couch, possibly to avoid breaking another chair. He looked rather annoyed and was giving her a harsh glare.

“Are you trying to pick a fight with me?!” he snapped.

“No! Not at all!”

“Then wipe that smug smile off your face! Or, what, are you so amused by the questions that you’d like me to demonstrate all the answers?”

“No! I didn’t ask them. Greed did,” she answered.

“Yeah, and it’s YOUR fault! I don’t even get how one human could cause me so much awkward trouble! Everything was fine while Greed still thought I was a man! He’s not into guys… I think.”

“You… think?”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s Greed. Who knows what kind of weird things he’s into, just because he wants to be into everything. He’s probably into YOU too!”

“Me?!”

“Yeah, he has a whole motto about that. He wants sex, money, fine things in life… what else? Oh, yeah, women. And I’m pretty sure you’re a woman… although I honestly never checked.”

“Well, what do I LOOK like?!”

“Well… you’re old enough that your voice would be deep if you were a man, and I guess you’ve got a sorta female body. You’ve always dressed like a girl, too .And, well, there was that incident with the coat. You looked pretty female to me. And when I showed you my knowledge of your anatomy, your reaction did show I was correct,” he said and shrugged. “So I’m assuming you really are a girl. But with humans, who knows! I’ve seen some things that make me look completely defined in my gender!”

She was momentarily surprised that Envy had spent so long with her and wasn’t even entirely sure what she was. Then again, she guessed someone like him would barely care.

“So, uh… are you angry?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

“I’m not HAPPY,” he frowned. “Greed is NEVER going to leave me alone now! But what am I supposed to do? It’s not like the Stone we use to heal you is going to last forever if I keep breaking you. And since you work tomorrow, it’s not like I can even break you anyways! It’d be easier on me if your body weren’t so pathetic. Maybe I should have asked Father to give your body to Greed. At least you wouldn’t be so pathetic. But then I’d lose my major source of amusement. And ever since Doctor Marcoh escaped… or died… I don’t even have THAT.”

“What?! Doctor Marcoh escaped?” she asked, choosing to ignore the other option.

“Well… we think so. It’s either that or he died, but our leading theory is that he escaped with Scar. You know, the guy that’s been murdering State Alchemists.”

She sighed with a small smile. At least the poor doctor had escaped. He had seemed so miserable. Maybe he would be less so now.

“Of course,” Envy said with a grin, “he escaped and yet… you’re still here. He escaped during a time I wasn’t here. He could have easily taken pity on you and taken you away to safety. But he didn’t! How does THAT feel?”

“Why would he risk his life for someone he’s barely met, and who works for you? Let alone someone who’s gone as far as marrying you, and whom he believes belongs to you body and soul?” she replied in a somber tone.

“Well, you DO belong to me body and soul, that’s for sure. I could notice, though, that he was pretty sure that you weren’t working for us willingly. He knows how we can be when we need someone’s services as pawns. If I hadn’t told him all about how devoted and loyal you are, he probably would have wanted to save you from us. While I didn’t really think he’d manage to escape, I wasn’t going to take any chances. No one’s going to take you away from me,” he said with a sadistic grin. “When you’ve helped us with our plans, then MAYBE I’ll let you go.”

“Maybe?! You said you WOULD let me go!”

“Oh, did I? I can’t recall~! Still, I doubt you’d WANT to go once our plans succeed.”

“You said you’d let me go home!”

“What if there is no home for you to return to? Or what if I just go home with you~?”

She met his cruel gaze. She felt, for a moment, the desire to confront him, to demand that he keep the promise she’d been made. Of course, the one who had actually promised to take her home was their father, and if he kept his word, there was nothing Envy could do… aside from following her back. Still, the more she looked into his eyes, the more she was drained from the will to confront him. After a few seconds, she looked downward.

“If there’s no home to return to… I guess I might have to stay with you,” she said in a tone of resignation. “And if there is, I can’t stop you from following me back.”

“Good little pet~!” he said, giving her a rough pat on the head. “That’s the spirit!”

She just sighed. There was nothing else for her to do, aside from staying at Envy’s apparently inexistent mercy.

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Despite the fact that Envy had basically admitted that he didn’t have much of an intention to set her free, her work did not suffer. Doing her job had become one of her sources of sanity by now, and the last thing she wanted was for Envy to take that away now. She needed human contact and she felt sure that, despite what Envy said, his father would see things differently. She couldn’t possibly be anything but a burden to them once her mission was over. There was no way they’d really keep her.

The days were starting to become cooler again, as winter was fast approaching. She didn’t mind that. The place where she’d lived before Amestris was a place with a very mild climate that bordered on cold. While Amestris was pretty mild in climate as well, she still preferred the autumn and spring over winter or summer. They were the most colorful seasons, after all, with the trees taking on beautiful shades of red and yellow during autumn while spring brought brightly-colored flowers to the fields and forests. Though the city got very little in terms of these changes, she still enjoyed being reminded of those things.

It was during one of those autumn days that Herman approached her. He looked rather serious and she hoped he wasn’t going to give her terrible news about Vincent.

“Do you have a moment?” he asked.

“Yes, sure. What is it?”

“If you’re ready, Lily wants to extend her final invitation to you,” he said.

“Yes. Alright. I believe I’m ready.”

“Great! If I must be honest, I’m glad you are. She’s been cooped in her alchemy laboratory for way too long, preparing for this, and I fear it might be kind of dangerous. From what I understand of alchemy, a lot of things about it are dangerous. So I’m glad you’re ready, since it means she will have something to do that’s not working on that. I truly fear she might have an accident!”

“I’m sure she’ll be okay. She’s a great alchemist, from what I know. But of course! I’ll see her soon. At the end of the week, as usual?”

“Of course.”

“Wonderful! And thank you!”

Though nothing else of note happened during that day, even if it had, Alice wouldn’t really have noticed it much. She was quite excited at the fact the end of the mission was coming. She only barely managed to contain that excitement until it was finally time for her to give the daily report to Envy.

“It’s time! I got the final invitation!” she said.

“Huh?! Really?! That’s great! It’s about time! I was getting very worried that she might take too long. So, when is this?” Envy asked.

“The end of this week, as usual.”

“We’ll be there. You’ll go. I’ll follow,” he said with a nasty grin.

“Yes sir. Just… please. I’ve cooperated as well as I can. You promised not to kill them.”

“I promised to do my best not to kill them, and that if I had to, I wouldn’t make you watch. I’ll keep that promise, but can’t really guarantee a certain outcome.”

She supposed that was truly the best she could expect from Envy. Her excitement turned into anxiousness. She just hoped that everyone would be able to come out of this whole thing alive.


	31. Idealism and Hope

## Chapter 31 - Idealism and Hope

The end of the week came remarkably fast, possibly because of how anxious she felt. Even Envy seemed more nervous and withdrawn than normal. This had to be it. The mission had to be resolved on this day, or it would fail, and there was no way she would just let these years go to waste. She was so determined, that she didn’t even look nervous when she climbed into Herman’s car.

“I’m glad you’re coming. To be honest, Lily, when she gets so immersed in her work, she worries me a little. There’s been explosions in her lab before. And she’s been fine so far, but one day, she may not be so lucky. But it’s important work she’s doing, so I can understand why she does it,” Herman said.

“What’s she doing, really?” Alice asked.

“Well… you’re going to find out today. But it’s work that will change the world when it’s finished.”

Her face showed nothing, but she felt a pang of guilt because she knew that the work would have to be stopped. Knowing Lily, it definitely was likely to be a wonderful project. But, well, her survival depended on this. She’d come too far to bail out now.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Envy watched Alice go with Herman and waited for a few minutes. He’d warned her over and over this morning to be careful, and yet he could not stop worrying. A good part of that was definitely how delicate this situation was. Lily was a dangerous alchemist and it wasn’t going to be easy to neutralize the damage. The problem was that they couldn’t just go and kill her. They needed her to first reveal what her project was so that they would be able to destroy the research notes. After all, they couldn’t risk someone else getting their hands on them, with enough competence to continue the research.

The other part of his worry and, he hated to admit, likely his biggest worry was his human pet. The girl wasn’t the most competent person ever, for one thing. And dealing with a dangerous person? In the end, she was a pawn… but it was a pawn he honestly did not want to lose.

He walked over to the car Wrath had set apart for use for Father’s business. He would drive it to a nearby place, and then get to Herman’s house on foot, once more disguised as a dog. It was definitely the best disguise for this occasion. Alice would have to spend some time alone. He just hoped things wouldn’t get dangerous before he was there to actually be capable of doing something about it.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Lily went out to greet Alice and Herman, Alice noticed that she did look quite exhausted. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked slightly stressed out. She was courteous as ever, however, and invited her in. The table was already set and she sat down to eat the same way she had the other times. While it was still too fancy in her opinion, it was at least enjoyable, and more so than the last meal.

“You just keep looking happier and happier every time I see you,” Lily said.

Alice supposed that her submission to Envy had a lot to do with that. It was just easier to not struggle, and the more she’d submitted to him, the less abusive he’d become, too.

“I have become happier,” she said.

She didn’t feel like that was entirely a lie. She wasn’t happy, no. But there was no denying that she was happier now than when she and Envy had first been forced into a relationship.

“That’s wonderful! Because today, I’ll let you see something wonderful. You’ve helped in its completion, so it’s only fair for you to see it,” Lily said with a smile.

“I… helped?” Alice asked. What was Lily talking about?

“In hindsight, I maybe should have told you. But the thing is, I think telling you beforehand what you were helping me with would have skewed the results. Herman and I have tried for so long, and despite our great love for each other, it never quite worked.”

“But what is it?” Alice asked. She was starting to feel very uncomfortable.

“I will tell you after dinner. I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s something so wonderful, that any effort to obtain it would be more than worth it. I hope you will forgive me for keeping this quiet from you until now,” Lily said.

“Yes, of course. I’m glad to help. And I can understand if it was something that couldn’t be shared with me for its success.”

In reality, she wanted to be angry and tell them that it was not okay to have apparently conducted some kind of experiment using her! But, well, the situation was delicate. She needed to be on her best and most polite behaviour. And, well, whatever they’d used her for didn’t harm her in any way. It was likely what had caused her awkward feelings towards Envy, but she had suffered no ill effects from that… at least if one didn’t count those terrifying feelings as a bad effect in and of themselves.

She smiled and continued eating. She was, at that moment, very thankful at how her years with Envy had taught her only too well to hide her feelings. She was starting to get worried, after all. She didn’t know the logistics of what would actually happen when Lily showed her what she was working on. And she didn’t even know if Envy would be here on time, or what he’d even do. She hated the uncertainty of everything.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Envy had no problem finding a safe spot to park the car. What became a bit more problematic was finding a safe spot to shapeshift in. What was especially frustrating was that he couldn’t afford to waste time, and yet he couldn’t find a good place where no one would see him. He had to spend precious time to finally find a quiet, empty place to turn into a dog, and only then did he finally begin to make his way to Herman and Lily’s place.

He wondered whether Lily had already revealed her secret project to Alice or if they were still having dinner or talking about something else. He supposed that it was most likely that they were still having dinner. After all, it was tradition. But he wanted to be there before Lily made her move. He had to hurry, and yet he couldn’t really run. A dog walking about the streets was understandable, but a dog that was running towards a certain place was sure to attract attention. It was infuriating to have to limit his speed like this, but what else could he do?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner was done, Lily stood up.

“Well. It’s time. We’re really changing the world with this, you know. We really are. Follow me,” she said to Alice.

Alice stood up and followed her. She was nervous enough that she could feel her hands get all clammy, but she walked behind Lily anyways, taking great care to keep her face mostly neutral. She followed Lily out of the house, looking around, wondering where Envy was. But the streets were empty, and there was no one on the lawn, either, aside from a fairly ugly mutt. For a moment, she wondered if that was Envy, but the mutt was being very dog-like when it lifted up its head for a second and wagged its tail. She doubted Envy would wag his tail, even as a dog, so she decided that couldn’t be him, either. He must be late.

Lily led her to the shed, which was still locked by several chains and locks. She took out a few keys and opened the door. A very long staircase met her eyes. She looked at her cane and then at the staircase, dismayed. This was going to be painful.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that!” Lily exclaimed. “Can you make it down? I can always use alchemy to make the way easier for you.”

“I’m fine,” Alice said. “I’m used to this.”

It was sort of true. She had to go down the stairs into the sewers almost every day, yes. But the difference was that there were far less stairs. Getting down, however, was easier than getting up. At least there were handles on the side of the stairway that she could use. Firmly grabbing on to the bar with one hand, she used the other to use her cane as a sort of crutch, pulling her weight up, then maneuvering to the next stair and letting herself down as carefully as possible. Though the jump-like movements might seem harder, they were a lot easier for her. When going down normally, she would have to hold all her weight in one leg as the knee holding it bent. This was simply not easy with her painful joints. Landing on both straight legs was just better. She was a bit slower than normal at this, but Lily was patient and kept her pace. Soon enough, they were both down.

The basement was huge. Alice was sure that it was almost as big as the mansion. There were racks and bookshelves all over and tables with glowing materials that she felt must be volatile or maybe radioactive. There was one table in specific that caught her attention because the incense holder she had seen during her visits was right in the middle of it. It was empty now, but there was no mistaking it. Lily walked over to that table, and Alice followed. There was a stool next to it, and Lily motioned for her to sit down. Alice did so.

“This is it,” Lily said. “It’s the culmination of my research.”

“But what is it?”

Lily smiled and pulled up a stool to sit next to her. She looked proud as she gestured towards the incense holder.

“Did you see that during your visits?” Lily asked.

“Yes, I think so.”

“Well, you remember what I was saying about the Law of Equivalent Exchange, yes?”

“Yes. Definitely.”

“This is the solution to it,” Lily said.

She stood up and took some incense just like the ones she’d burnt during her visits. She showed it to Alice.

“This,” Lily said, “is the key to bypassing equivalent exchange. You’ve heard a lot about the Philosopher’s Stone, right?”

“Only a bit. The stuff that’s in stories.”

There was no way she’d tell her that she’d actually used one. She knew that the Philosopher’s Stone was not something just anyone could get their hands on.

“They say that Stone can also grant a bypass to the Law of Equivalent Exchange. However, like I already told you, all the stories of people seeking it end in despair. I theorize, then, that the Stone is, at least metaphorically, made of despair,” Lily explained.

“Wait. But… it’s a stone, right?”

“It’s the best-known theory, yes. But it has many names, and since no one’s ever made one, we can only have theories. It’s a substance, though.”

“It means it’s a physical object, though, right?”

“Yes. Although, again, that’s a theory. But I am pretty sure it’s correct.”

“How can an object be made of despair? Even metaphorically?”

“I’d say it’s all in the way it’s made. The purpose of fairy tales and legends is to teach us lessons. And they all warn against a Philosopher’s Stone. There must be a reason for that, because, well, wouldn’t everyone want something that can make them immortal, heal all illness, and basically fulfill any physical needs you may have?”

“Well… yeah,” Alice replied.

She didn’t very much like where Lily was going with this. It was true. If the Philosopher’s Stone truly did all that… everyone should want it. And yet, the stories of people seeking it out did tend to end in tragedy.

“Well, that got my father thinking… that the Philosopher’s Stone must be a material that is born from despair, because if it wasn’t, no one would warn against it,” Lily said.

“What about misuse, though?” Alice asked. “That could be a reason to warn against it too.”

“Yes, but, there are no stories about someone finding the Philosopher’s Stone only for that to lead to despair. All the stories warn against finding it in the first place. It’s as though anyone who has gotten close to the truth of it has seen something awful and turned back, warning others against following their path.”

This sounded awfully simplified to Alice. And yet, she had a point. Maybe the danger with the Stone wasn’t JUST in its use. After all, she already knew that the Philosopher’s Stone wasn’t legend, but something people had already created… and the kind of people who she knew had the Stone wasn’t the kind of people she’d really want to see in power. She just nodded.

“Well, anyway,” Lily continued, “my father made a theory. He was the one who first theorized that the Philosopher’s Stone was made, roughly speaking, with despair. However… there is always another side to each coin.”

Alice suppressed a gasp as she began to see what Lily was trying to do.

“So if it’s possible to make a Philosopher’s Stone, using despair, it’s possible to make a stone with its opposite. That’s what my father believed, and he worked for many years on research to prove this. He did not succeed, but he left me enough notes that I was finally able to come to a conclusion. You cannot make the Philosopher’s Stone with this method… but you can make its opposite.”

Alice was starting to see why this had been such an important mission for the Homunculi. If they were the only ones who had the Stones, and here was someone making something similar… it wasn’t hard to understand why they would consider it a very big threat.

“Its… opposite?” Alice asked.

“Yes. A Philosopher’s Stone is built from despair, which is a destructive power. The Stone I’m going to show you is built from its opposite power. Love. It’s a constructive power. Of course, you understand, that they’re opposites, it means that the two sides together would cancel each other out. Though the Philosopher’s Stone has never been made, in theory, this Stone would attract its power and destroy it. Both would basically amplify alchemy, but their source of power would be so different, that they’d destroy each other.”

Alice now understood why Envy had become so pale when she described some of the things in her report. He had likely already guessed that whatever she was making would be dangerous for him. She wondered if he guessed that the Stone Lily was making was an opposite thing, or if he had been worried about something else. However, she could now see that his fear was more than a bit justified. She was starting to hope that he wouldn’t show up here. If this Stone really could destroy a Philosopher’s Stone… couldn’t it destroy Envy as well?

“How do you know all this?”

“It’s a theory. But… I’ve proved that a Stone can be made from the opposite of what the theory says a Philosopher’s Stone is made of. So I think I’d be correct here. Of course, without an actual Philosopher’s Stone to test this with, this is just speculation.”

“So… how did you make this?” Alice said, trying to steer the conversation away from the rather scary topic.

“Well, the alchemy was very complicated, but the concept itself is very simple. The incense I was burning during our meetings is actually a very powerful elixir that taps into feelings. So what it does is that it triggers the feelings you already have. But because they’re positive feelings… a creative force, they’re amplified. And then that triggers more of them. This doesn’t happen infinitely… the elixir only has a certain amount of power. But then once it reaches that power limit, all the emotion, which comes from your very soul, is extracted and condensed into a liquid that can be refined into a Stone. While love is the feeling I’m sure is extracted… it seems it only applies to certain presentations of it… because as you recall, I said it didn’t work so well with me and Herman. But, well, dear, it worked wonderfully great with you and Evan. I don’t know what way you love him in, but you clearly love him a lot.”

Alice was no longer entirely sure Lily was correct as to the source of power of this Stone. Her? Love ENVY?! She did like him, and she had long since accepted him as a sort of friend, but… love? Something wasn’t right here.

“That’s why I tried to surround myself only by people who lived a life of love,” Lily explained. “Seriously, I needed it. The more love I surrounded myself with, the more I felt I could continue this research, since its power comes from love. Because you DO see the importance of this, right? It’s the equivalent to a Philosopher’s Stone… with no pain. Only positive, wonderful feelings. We can end the struggles of humanity with this!”

“Y… yes, that’s definitely true!” Alice exclaimed. She’d wanted to talk in a calm and composed tone, but she was way too nervous.

Suddenly, Lily didn’t seem so hopelessly naive. And what she was trying to do… it was truly wonderful. She no longer wanted to stop her.

“Let me show you the Stone,” Lily said and she reached towards the table.

There was a small box and Lily opened it. A beautiful stone that looked much like Envy’s, except larger and violet-colored, was there.

“I call it… the Hope Stone. Because it will give hope to the future,” Lily said.

“Alright. Hand over that box. Right now!” Envy’s voice came from behind them.


	32. Love and Despair

## Chapter 32 - Love and Despair

Envy had entered so quietly that neither of them had heard him. A few seconds later, he was at the base of the stairs. He hadn’t bothered to disguise himself. He looked extremely serious and, Alice noted, there were also signs that he was very stressed out. How much had he heard?

“Who are you?!” Lily demanded.

She was starting to get defensive. Her tone was very different now, nowhere near the nice, polite tone she normally used. It was harsh, with a tinge of desperation.

“It doesn’t matter,” Envy replied. “But I’m taking that box and its contents. And this whole lab has to go, too, so if you both just walk outside, leaving the box here... I’ll take care of the rest.“

“What are you talking about?!” Lily shrieked. “I’m not letting you take years of my research!”

“It’s not a question, or request. Do as I say and this won’t go as badly,” Envy said.

“No! I refuse! Who are you and what are you doing here?!”

Alice was simply staying quiet. There was no way she wanted to do anything that’d make this situation any more tense than it already was.

“I said it doesn’t matter. Now… will you cooperate or will I have to take more drastic measures?”

Lily took the Stone from the box, holding it tightly. Envy began to take a step towards her.

“Step back! I’m an alchemist! I will not hesitate to use that power if you don’t back off!” Lily yelled.

“Wait…” Alice whispered, too quietly to be heard.

Had Envy heard about the Stone in Lily’s hand? Hadn’t Lily said it could destroy Philosopher’s Stones? Envy’s heart was a Philosopher’s Stone! Couldn’t Lily’s Stone destroy that? She was paralyzed, though. She had no idea what to do. If she went against Lily, Lily would probably kill her in an instant. Envy had to have heard, though, what Lily said about his Stone and hers being opposites. He couldn’t possibly intend to get any closer, could he?!

He was in full view now, taking a new step forward.

“Give it to me,” he said.

In response, Lily gripped the Stone more tightly, and it crackled and let off purple arcs of electricity as a gun materialized in front of her. She took it and aimed at Envy.

“Oh, so that’s what you want to go with?” Envy asked. “It’s a shame. I really hate fighting.”

“How did you even know about this research?!” Lily asked.

“Been following you for a long time. Your research is trouble, so it’s gotta go.”

“On whose authority?!”

“Mine~!”

“I’m warning you! Stay back! I don’t want to shoot you, but I will do so to protect this legacy! It’s going to change the world! I can’t let you take it!”

“Oh, really~?” Envy asked in a mocking tone. “You want to shoot to kill me? Then why haven’t you done so already? You lack the spine to actually do so, don’t you? You’re all talk, just like a little barking pup, with loud yapping and no teeth to follow the threat with!”

Lily hesitated. Alice could tell she actually didn’t want to shoot, despite her words. She wasn’t exactly comfortable being between Envy and Lily and her gun, but she didn’t dare move, either.

“What do you want this research for?!” Lily demanded.

“Oh, don’t worry. If you think I’d go and misuse it, you can relax. I just want to destroy it~!”

Lily cocked the gun, straightening her aim at Envy.

“Enough toying around,” Envy said, walking straight towards Lily. “You’ll give it to me or I’ll TAKE it from you!”

As a response, Lily pulled the trigger on the gun, shooting Envy straight in the chest as he made his way towards her. Alice shrieked. Since she was closer to Envy than Lily, a splatter of his blood landed on her hands and arm as she instinctively lifted them to cover her face. Envy yelped in pain, his legs buckled and he fell to the ground with a very heavy crash, quite still.

“Alice, are you okay?!” Lily asked. Her voice was shaky.

Alice didn’t answer. She was still staring at her bloodied hands and Envy’s still body in a small puddle of blood. He couldn’t possibly be dead!

“I’m so sorry you had to see that, Alice!” Lily exclaimed. “I had to do it! That crazy young woman was going to destroy everything!”

Alice just nodded, still looking in shock at her hands.

“Yes, of course. We’ll clean the blood off you. We’ll have to call the police afterwards, too. They’ll have to clean up the rest of the mess,” Lily said. “Now where’s a cloth?”

She got up and began to look for a cloth. But as she did so, they both heard a quiet laughter. Envy got up from the floor.

“You bastard! You just killed me once!” Envy spat. “But did you seriously think that’d be enough?! You can’t possibly win this! Give up already!”

There was no wound, or even any mark on Envy now. Even some of the blood was gone. It was Lily’s turn to shriek.

“What are you?! You’re not human! What kind of monster are you?!” she shrieked, almost dropping the gun in surprise.

“I would have preferred not to tip my hand, but if you insist,” Envy said. “I won’t hold back so much!”

He took a step forward again, and Lily looked down in surprise at the glowing purple stone she was holding. It seemed to almost be vibrating, and she held it towards Envy.

Envy stopped dead in his tracks, a horrified expression on his face.

“W… what is this?!” he exclaimed. “Without even… touching it?!”

“What’s inside you?!” Lily shrieked, horrified. “Why does this react to you?!”

Envy didn’t answer, his hands on his chest, looking as though he couldn’t even breathe.

“I see… but it can’t be!” Lily exclaimed. “The only thing that could be reacting this way…. attracting this stone… is its opposite twin! But how?!”

She took a step towards Envy, who fell to his knees in pain. Alice gasped in horror. Lily had apparently decided that she was at a safe enough distance, and didn’t approach Envy more. She didn’t need to, though. Envy was apparently unable to move, seemingly choking, as one of his hands reflexively went to his throat. A few moments later, he began to cough up blood.

“What… are you doing to me?!” he managed to gasp in between coughs.

“I see. Maybe a gun may not work… but this has to!”

He continued to cough up large amounts of blood and Alice watched in horror, still paralyzed. He had not revealed that she had been in league with him. If she chose to, she could just watch him die, and she would be free. A powerful alchemist like Lily may very well have the power to take her home, especially with something like that stone she’d made. Alice could explain everything to her. Lily was compassionate… she would surely understand her situation and help her. And then she could go on and change the world. This would likely also thwart the plans the Homunculi had, which she was sure would bring disaster. Maybe it was just metaphorical… but the Homunculi indeed seemed quite related to despair. And if what she was seeing now was any indication, love could definitely beat despair.

He was definitely suffering what had to be agonizing pain. He was trying to scream, but the coughing and choking on the blood he was coughing up didn’t allow him to. Lily had turned her face away from him, unable to even watch. Alice looked into his eyes, even though he wasn’t looking back at her. The one who had subjugated her, broken her, made her miserable, mocked her and used her as a pawn in his plans was there, himself brought to his knees, powerless to do anything, his face practically blue from his choking. Part of her thought she wanted to see him like this and watch him die. And yet... this was also the creature who, despite his inhumanity, had worked against his own nature in order to look after her. He’d been ordered to do the basics, to keep her alive, but he’d gone beyond that, beyond what his nature allowed him. He’d grown to even like her. He was, by no means, a nice person. He was horrible, and there was no delusion that she could have that could possibly change that perception. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to REALLY want him to die. There was a bond between them, even if it was not what she’d call love, even if it wasn’t exactly the healthiest or best kind of bond two people could have. She had seen it most clearly the night he’d let her use his Philosopher’s Stone. Her hand found the ruby pendant. There was no denying that Envy was sadistic, and very abusive. But no… she didn’t want to watch him die. She knew what she felt towards him now. She felt empathy. She felt acceptance. This was the person she’d CHOSEN to accept and to be loyal to. And he was dying. Slowly, but he was dying.

“Not like this,” she whispered to herself, trying to gather the energy she would need. “I’m sorry, but not like this!”

She took a deep breath. This was going to hurt. She lunged at Lily using her cane to hit Lily’s wrist hard enough that she knocked the stone off her hand. The purple stone rolled away from them, well away from Envy, who finally stopped coughing and began to catch his breath.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Lily exclaimed, outraged.

“I can’t let you do this!” Alice replied. “I’m sorry! I’m really, really sorry, but I can’t watch you kill him like this!”

“I don’t like it any more than you do, but we have no choice! This crazy woman isn’t even HUMAN! She’s a monster! And monsters need to be destroyed!”

Alice went towards Envy and extended her hand as an offer to help him up, for the moment forgetting how heavy he actually was. He gave her a weary and confused expression before he got up on his own.

“Get out of here,” he said.

“But…”

“Get out of here!”

She tried to obey, but as she reached the stairs, the strength the adrenaline had given her failed her. Her knees buckled and she fell at the base of the stairs. Though she was mostly out of the way, she was terrified. She didn’t know what would happen next.

“A monster, huh?” Envy said. “You think you’ve seen a monster already?”

There were red sparks and bolts of electric-like energy coming off his body. Alice’s eyes widened. She knew he was going to shapeshift, but she’d never seen him take so long at it. His legs seemed to be barely able to take his weight now and he was hunched over slightly, again as if pulled down by a huge weight. Both Alice and Lily simply watched in horror as green scales began to form on his body, and his hands grew into large claws. His entire body seemed to become warped as he grew in size. Another set of arms burst from his sides and so did horns and more scales and his body kept morphing until the… thing… that was standing before them bore almost no resemblance to Envy, aside from having black hair(though it was in a mane now), and purple eyes. The purple eyes, though, were horrifying. His right eye’s sclera had turned black, and his left eye had at least six or seven irises and pupils. His body no longer looked human. Instead, it was an eight-limbed, reptilian... thing. Alice wanted to say it was a dragon-like creature, but in the end, it was so horrible, and retained enough human-like traits(a pair of his legs, and something about the features of its face) that the only word she could think of was, indeed, ‘monster’. And that was before he gave a growl and an even more horrifying trait appeared. From all over Envy’s body, especially what was more his torso, human-like faces, limbs and even some torsos protruded. They were as green as the rest of him, and the limbs moved and the mouths opened, and they seemed as though they were people that were trying to escape a sticky, melty liquid. Alice almost fainted with the horror of this form, and though she didn’t even think to see what Lily’s expression looked like, she heard a horrified scream from her direction.

“What ARE you?! “ Lily shrieked.

“I’m not going to let you get close to me with that Stone again!” Envy growled.

Even his voice was different. It had a strange echo to it, and it sounded a bit like there were several voices at once.

Alice yelped and Envy turned around.

“What are you still doing here?! I told you to get away!” he growled. “You’re so pathetic!”

He shook his gigantic head and turned back to Lily, who was pointing a gun at him again.

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The last thing he had wanted was to be seen in this form. He hated it with every fibre of his being. And yet he couldn’t deny that it gave him immense power. His human form was much more convenient for everyday activities, but it was also heavily inconvenienced for things like fighting. While he could control his weight, injuries would suddenly return it to him and he would need time to adjust. He really hated fighting. Of course, he wasn’t getting much of a choice here. This human wasn’t going down quietly.

She wasn’t wasting any time, either. She steadied her aim and shot straight for his head. She did not miss, but with his tough scales, it hardly bothered him, and his Stone healed him anyways. He aimed a slash at her. She barely dodged.

Envy also did not waste time, striking again quickly. He knew only too well that she was entirely capable of killing him. Well, it wasn’t her abilities that worried him. It was that Stone. From the moment he’d heard about the purple glowing liquid, he knew that was trouble and he had an inkling of what that meant. That had been frightening enough, but what he’d heard NOW was worse. All he could do was keep up a barrage of attacks and prevent her from getting to the stone. She would get tired much sooner that he would. The best part was that even if she lived, no one would believe a gigantic monster attacked her. And better yet, since she worked on alchemical things that affected the mind, it’d be only too easy to discredit her entirely. The few months she still had before the Promised Day, she would spend having everyone think she had gone crazy. That was even better than killing her!

She was excellent at dodging, but he didn’t care too much. He was mostly just toying with her. Either way, if he was too loud, it’d attract Herman’s attention, and then he would have to kill them because if they both saw the same thing, it was easier for someone to believe them. He would much rather see Lily live out the last few months she had with everyone considering her crazy. He continued his attacks and she continued to dodge. She would have to tire out sometime. He wasn’t going to tire though. In fact, these quick attacks in this form were hardly any effort at all.

She managed to aim another shot at his head, though, this time hitting an eye. He yelped in pain, quickly starting the regeneration, but by the time he was able to see again, she had dived towards the stone, holding it up towards him again. With a growl, he aimed a swing of his tail at her. There was no way he could possibly let her get close again!

What she definitely could do at a distance, though, was strike with alchemy, which she presently did. With the stone, she needed neither a transmutation circle nor any matter to transmute with. A rock fist thwacked his face, cracking several of his teeth and making him bite his tongue hard enough to make it bleed.

“You bastard!” he snapped.

She continued barraging him with rocks and ice spikes and other such things at such a furious pace that he could barely see them. He heard a yelp behind him. Alice. What was that stupid girl still doing here?! If she was behind him, if he didn’t crush her on accident, all this alchemy would! At this rate, if she didn’t get out of here, she’d be safer inside his mouth!

“You fool! I told you to get out of here!” he growled at her turning around for a quick moment.

She started scrambling up the stairs again though she shrieked and stopped when a large icicle hit him at an angle, shattered and a large shard landed right in front of her, rolling down and nearly knocking her down the stairs. She smacked the cane on the ground and managed to use it to regain her balance. Yeah, this was becoming bothersome. Now that Lily had the Stone, she wasn’t going to tire out anytime soon.

“Enough games!” he roared.

This was going to hurt, but he had to end this, and quickly. If he could eat the damage, this should finish things. He lunged at Lily, feeling his Philosopher's Stone throbbing and burning inside him as though it were trying to fly out of his chest. He felt choked and could already feel the blood starting to pour from it into his insides. He was going to choke in a few seconds. He opened his mouth wide and aimed a snap at Lily, who, of course dodged it… coming straight into contact with the hash swipe he aimed with his second right claw. The blow was so harsh that it sent her flying a good way away, and knocked the purple stone out of her hand. Her head hit the floor and she was out cold. With a quick flick of his tail, he knocked the Stone out of her reach, across the huge basement. The internal bleeding stopped. He coughed up the blood that had accumulated already. The burning pain was gone.

He turned around. Alice was still there, staring at him with wide eyes, exactly the way people looked when they were looking at something they considered a monster. While that was fair enough, given the fact that she’d never seen anything like this…

“Don’t look at me!” he snapped.

Alice quickly turned away, though she was still trembling. Really, what a spineless, pathetic creature this pet of his was.

“Why are you STILL here, anyways?” he demanded.

“I… my legs are shaking too much,” she replied with a voice so weak he could hardly hear her.

Of course they were. And now he had to clean up this mess and destroy the laboratory. There was a huge amount of chemicals around here. It’d be easy (if a bit dangerous) to make it look like an accident. There was the blood, but, well, after he was done with this place, it’d be difficult to tell it was there, if at all. Besides, Wrath could always help with covering up those kinds of things. As for Lily, well… if she survived the clean-up, all her notes and progress would be lost. He would destroy the Stone, too, even if it hurt him.

“We’re almost done here. But I need you to go now to Herman. That way you won’t look guilty when the lab is destroyed,” Envy said.

“But my hands and arms are all splattered with blood. He’s going to ask about that,” Alice replied.

“Oh yeah. Ugh, no choice. Hold them out.”

She did so and he flicked out his tongue and wrapped it around her arms and pulled it back, effectively licking off the blood. Of course, that did have the side-effect of leaving her arms covered in saliva, but, hey, at least that didn’t leave stains.

“Eeeewww!” she shrieked, staring at her dripping arms in horrified disgust.

“What are YOU complaining about?! It’s not like I LIKE to lick my own blood! Just wipe it off on the wall or something! At least it doesn’t stain!”

He watched her try wiping off the saliva on the wall.

“What did you do… to Lily?” she asked.

“She’s out cold. So I’ll just wreck this lab while she’s at it. There’s a few chemicals around here that I’m pretty sure can cause some explosions that’ll light all those books on fire. Though by the time THAT happens, I’ll be out of here!”

“She’ll die if you do that!”

“Not if you do as I say and go up to Herman and explain how she was doing an experiment that went wrong and released all these dangerous chemicals that messed with your mind, and were volatile and she told you to go while she fixed things~! And when the lab blows up, you two call someone to rescue her, quickly! Maybe mention hallucinations, too. That’d work great!”

“But…”

“You’re almost done with your mission! You’re not going to do something stupid now, do you understand?! If you do, I’ll kill this woman and then go inside and slaughter her husband, too. And I WILL make you watch! Is that clear?!”

“Y… yes!”

“Since you’re still here, make yourself useful and find that glowing stone. It needs to get destroyed.”

She still seemed to be somewhat in shock, but she obeyed and, a minute later, she found the Stone. She picked it up, but didn’t approach Envy.

“Won’t it hurt you, if I get closer?” she asked.

“Yes. So leave it on the floor and step away from it.”

She did so and stepped away, back towards the stairs, still trying very hard to avoid looking at him. Taking a deep breath, Envy curled one of his front claws into a fist, extended his arm toward the stone and brought his fist down hard onto the Stone. There was a shattering sound and the Stone was completely smashed, its power dissipating. That job was done. He’d need his more convenient (and much better-looking) form now, if he was to properly make sure everything here was destroyed. His human form emerged from his forehead, still green and melty, but quickly gaining its proper shape and color as his organs formed themselves properly. His monstrous form was absorbed through his back, as his knees buckled from the weight. Once he was back to his normal form, it took him a few seconds to adjust, and he stood up straight again. Alice was looking at him in shock.

“I said to stop looking at me! Get out of here! Now! Before she wakes up and I have to kill her!”

Alice bit her lower lip, but began her way up the stairs.

“And close the door! It’s heavy and pretty sound-proof!” he called after her.

Once she was gone, he went to the tables where the chemicals were. The were all neatly labeled, so it was easy for him to know how pick up the most volatile-looking compounds to splash them all over the bookcases. Some of them already began to catch fire and he poured more of the chemicals on the floor. He’d have little time to get out of here. Lily began to stir. That woman. He wouldn’t kill her. It was much more amusing this way. But no one said anything about not PUNISHING her…

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alice made it up the stairs, still in shock. She took a few moments to catch her breath and her composure and then headed back to the house, knocking on the door. Herman opened it.

“Alice, what’s wrong?!” he asked. “You look dreadful, like you’ve seen some sort of ghost!”

“I’m fine. Lily was showing me her experiment, but something went wrong. There were all these chemicals, and they made me see… things… that weren’t there. Really awful, scary things. So she told me to leave while she fixed it. It looked pretty dangerous,” she said. “But she said she had it under control.”

Her voice was pretty dead, she felt. But she supposed that it was understandable that someone who just had terrifying hallucinations would sound like this. Herman seemed to think so too. He just let her into the house.

“So the chemicals caused hallucinations? I knew they did work with the state of mind, so it makes sense. I just don’t know how she could get it that wrong.”

“It was an accident,” Alice said. “But… I’d rather talk about something else.”

“Of course,” Herman said. “Some tea?”

“Yes, please,” Alice said. Indeed, a soothing tea was about the best she could get right now.

A few minutes after she’d gotten her tea, there was a loud rumbling, as though something had exploded. Alice’s heart sank. Envy’s mission was complete. She wondered if Lily had survived.

“That… that came from Lily’s lab! Alice! Call the emergency number!” Herman exclaimed, pointing to where the phone was and getting up.

“Where are you going!?”

“I’m going to check on Lily!” he replied, running out.

Alice did as she was told, calling the Amestris emergency number, and explaining that there had been an alchemical accident. She was too drained to even think clearly, so she just slumped on a couch after the call, hoping Lily was okay, but knowing that she was useless in this situation.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The place was soon swarmed with police. Flashing lights. Questions. So many questions. She gave the answers she’d been told to give, but still they asked questions. There were people going into the ruins of the lab. She could barely process everything. Herman was yelling at the rescue team to hurry up, to save Lily. And finally there was Evan.

“That’s enough. That’s my wife. You’ve asked her every possible question. I’m going to take her home now,” she heard him tell the policeman who was questioning her.

The policeman said something she didn’t quite process, but then “Evan” pulled her to her feet.

“Come on. Let’s go home now.”

He had to pull her along, but he’d left a car nearby, and they reached that soon enough. Finally, silence. He drove away, without a word.

“Is Lily…?” she asked after a while, when she’d more or less recovered enough to speak.

“She’ll live,” Envy replied.

She burst into tears of relief. She’d live! She did not say anything else on the way back. But when she was finally home, she took a very long hot shower, and then went to bed, where she fell asleep almost immediately. She wouldn’t wake for breakfast, and Envy just let her sleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few days after she went back to work were a draining blur of events. She learned that Lily was indeed alive… but she was now blind, apparently due to chemicals that had gotten into her eyes. Her laboratory and research were completely destroyed. The verdict on that event had been that an accident had released dangerous mind-altering chemicals and Lily, affected by hallucinations, had only made things worse. Her whole research was destroyed. Herman had no idea that Alice had been involved in this whole thing, and Lily, having accepted that her mind was altered, didn’t know, either. Alice, however, found it extremely hard to face them anymore. She hadn’t spoken to Envy about anything that had happened that night and he hadn’t asked.

“You’re going to have to quit that job of yours,” Envy said to her during dinner. It was about a week after those horrible events.

“Why?!”

“I’ve noticed how you look, and, well, okay, people would understand you’re upset about what happened to Lily. But the mission is done, and we don’t want you saying something stupid that’d mess anything up. So you have to stay home.”

“Wouldn’t they get suspicious?”

“I’ve got the PERFECT story. We’ll just say you’re pregnant! And after the shocking events last week, the doctor said you need to rest. It’s just about half a year to the Promised Day. No one has to see you again, and no one has to ever learn you’re not actually pregnant!”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No~!”

“Hey, Envy… I wanted to ask you… about the other night…”

“Hm?”

“I thought you said you were mostly identical to a human.”

“This form is.”

“But… the other…”

“Yeah, that’s entirely different. I was created that way.”

“Isn’t a Homunculus supposed to be an artificial human? Humans don’t have… scales! Or horns! Or… so many limbs!” she exclaimed. She didn’t want to mention those horrifying human-like limbs and faces that protruded from his body, though.

“I think and feel like a person. I have that form aside from this one because Father didn’t want to make us TOO human.”

“Is that your real form?”

“Yes. So is this one. It’s kind of a reversible form. But I was created on the other form. And I don’t want you talking about that anymore.”

“Why?”

“Because I say so! Do you need a BETTER reason?!”

She supposed he didn’t. Truth be told, as horrifying and disgusting as she found Envy’s other form… it was still Envy. She knew already he wasn’t human, and that he was a shapeshifter, so she was hardly surprised to see he could turn into something like THAT. She supposed she understood now why Lust had warned her not to call Envy ugly. He was, though. It was undeniable. He was ugly inside and out. And yet, there was a strange irony. He COULD be nice. She’d seen glimpses of it. The way he was inside was reflected in his physical forms. He had a nice side and a horrible side. And the nice side was much, much smaller than his horrible side, and stuck deep inside of it, while his horrible side could easily burst through his nice side. She still chose not to call him a monster, but if there ever was a creature that was close to being one, it was Envy.


	33. Final Memories

## Chapter 33 - Final Memories

The next weeks were completely unremarkable. She slept a lot, having little to do during the day, aside from reading the books Envy brought her. He’d finally taken to bringing her the kind of books she actually wanted to read, aside from romance novels, which he so steadfastly refused to bring her, that she eventually gave up asking. She needed the books, though, in order to try to tolerate the guilt she felt due to what had happened at Lily’s. Much as she tried convincing herself that there was nothing she really could have done, the fact of the matter was that she had participated in the attack that had not only destroyed Lily’s research but left her blind. Lily and Herman didn’t know it, but it was true. She had done that. It was her fault that Lily would never see Herman again, and if they ever had children, she would never see them either. And though she was glad not to have to face Herman, she was very lonely stuck in the underground room. It wasn’t too long before she began slipping back into depression. Envy looked outright exasperated with her sometimes, but he didn’t often say anything.

“Hey, cheer up for a change, will you?! Why are you so gloomy?” he asked one of the times when he did say something.

“Lily’s blind. It’s all my fault. I never should have helped you!” she replied.

“So… you’d rather be dead?”

“No!”

“Then what are you complaining about? We succeeded! The threat is neutralized! And hey, they didn’t even get killed! You should be HAPPY! I even gave you a little bit of credit when I reported to Father!”

Gee, that was thoughtful of him.

“Credit for what?”

“Well, uh, you sa- I mean, you took the Stone away from Lily the first time. My Philosopher’s Stone wasn’t destroyed. So you got credit for that.”

It was true. She’d saved his life, even if he didn’t want to put it that way. She’d crippled Lily’s life to save his. It was true that at least Lily was alive, while Envy would have died after horrible agony, but was either choice right? Even if Lily was trying to protect her research, was it right for her to have gotten the substance she called a Hope Stone close enough to Envy to torture him, but not enough to kill him? It might have taken hours of Envy choking, suffering and coughing up blood to actually kill him. How could anyone stand to watch that, anyways? Or even do that? She had been ambivalent about what to do during the whole situation, but when Lily basically tortured Envy, she made her choice. It was a bit terrifying to think that if Lily had actually gotten closer to Envy, she might have killed him too fast for her to make a choice in the matter. She wasn’t sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, Envy was alive and well. On the other, Lily’s actions were much more cruel than Alice thought she was capable of. Really, the whole affair was awful and she wasn’t exactly happy to be getting credit for it. Honestly, she wished there had been some plausible way for her to avoid being in this whole mess.

“I never wanted any of this,” she said.

“Yeah, me neither. Honestly, your arrival was a pain to deal with. It was extremely disruptive, changing all our plans. I never expected to have to be stuck taking care of a human. In the end, though, it’s worked out. I’ve even gotten used to having you live right here with me. That way I also don’t have to run all over the place and forget to bring you food or something. And, well, there’s the fact that you did help complete the mission. I mean, we would have managed to neutralize the threat without you, definitely. But I don’t think we would’ve had enough of a chance to do so as quietly without using you. We have a shortage of manpower, and even more so lately.”

“Yeah, but you got nearly all the benefits, really.”

“Yes. That’s true,” Envy replied. “That was the point of this whole mission, and you knew it from the start. We never lied about these things. You got plenty of benefits by proxy, though. You’re alive, you’ve been treated very well, you got luxuries that most prisoners never get, and you even got entrusted with an important mission. You got to know some of the best-kept secrets in this whole country: about us, about the Philosopher’s Stones, and Father and our involvement with the military. You also got to marry a Homunculus, which is something only two people in this world will ever know, and you’re one of them. Now the only thing that’s left is your front-row seat to the Promised Day. And then we’ll fulfill the last part of our deal with you.”

“So… I’ll go… home?”

“If you have a home, yes. Otherwise, well, you would still have been useful to us, so it’s not like we would bother to kill you. You can stay here with me~! I don’t think Father would care as long as I’m the one responsible for you.”

Honestly, she wasn’t really looking forward to a lifetime of Envy. But the prospect that she might go home was definitely wonderful.

“When is the Promised Day?” she asked.

“Next spring. It’s winter now. We’re so close!”

She could hardly believe it. Finally, after about five years of being stuck here, everything was going to end. She smiled. Maybe she could just try to sit back and try to enjoy her last moments in Amestris. Maybe she could even convince Envy to take her outside a bit more often. She was filled with hope again. Everything would be over soon.

“Envy. I haven’t been out in a while. Could you…?” she began to ask, but trailed off. Asking him directly for a favour was still a bit too much to do.

“Huh? Oh. You want me to take you out for a walk?” Envy asked. “I suppose pets need that once in a while. Sure, whatever. I need to go and exchange information with Wrath now. When I come back, though, sure. I’ll take you out with me for a little patrolling, if you don’t get in my way.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Envy turned to leave, then stopped. He turned back to Alice, with a thoughtful frown.

“Hey, Alice,” he said, hesitating for a moment, as though he were debating on what to say and how to word it.

“Yes?”

“Tha- I mean... the work you did. Not bad… for a human.”  

“Umm… thank you?”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

With that, he left, leaving Alice fairly confused as to what he’d wanted to say.

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Envy did not return that day. Instead, Greed was the one who brought her dinner. That was strange. Envy had seemed to think he would be back soon from Wrath’s place.

“Mister Greed? Where’s Envy?” she asked.

“He didn’t come back here to tell you?”

“Um, no.”

“Well, turns out he got a call with information about where Doctor Marcoh is, so he went to pick him up. It’s pretty far, so he’ll be away for a few days. Don’t worry. Father told me to keep you alive, so I’ll be doing that.”

“Would… it be too much to ask for some fresh air?” Alice asked. It was easier to ask Greed for something than it was to ask Envy.

“Yeah, see, my orders are to keep you alive. All that extra stuff you get is just that: extra. And that’s Envy’s problem, not mine.”

“Alright. So… he’ll be back in a few days?”

“Yep.”

That was good. She’d have to stay alone in this room until then, she supposed. Loneliness definitely was the worst part of captivity. Envy, at least, spent a lot more time with her, even if it could be very unpleasant. Greed spent a little time with her, but it was nowhere near enough. She’d miss the company, even if it tended to be unpleasant company. Fortunately, he’d left her a lot of books to read. They were no substitute for fresh air, or for company, but they’d have to do.

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Envy did not return even after almost two weeks passed. She knew how long it had been not because she could see any natural light, but because she was counting the meals she got. This was actually rather strange and she was starting to get worried. Greed didn’t tell her anything, even when he did spend some time with her. This only made her worry much more. There was little as horrible as uncertainty. Even the worst of Envy’s treatment was better because she at least knew what to expect, for the most part. Right now? She didn’t know when Envy would be back, and she was starting to feel more than a bit concerned about what the loneliness would do to her. She had never been an especially introverted person. People made her feel better. The deathly silence of the room, the pounding that echoed through the strange pipes all over the underground tunnels... all that did was make her feel claustrophobic and desperately lonely.

“Hey, mister Greed,” she said when Greed brought her lunch, when two weeks after Envy left had passed.

“Yeah?”

“Where’s Envy? Wasn’t he supposed to come back after a few days? It’s been two weeks.”

Greed gave her an almost worried look and sat down on the nearest chair. Alice’s heart sank and she sat down on the chair in front of him.

“Look. I don’t know how to really say this without sounding insensitive. You like Envy, right?”

“Um… I’m just used to him. And he does keep me company a lot more,” she replied.

“Okay, yeah, I think I get it. Anyways, well. Thing is… don’t freak out, okay?”

 She nodded, confused and feeling the beginning of dread well up in her mind.

“Well, I don’t think he’s coming back anymore,” Greed said. “There. That’s the situation.”

“What?!” she gasped. She would have screamed, but the shock made her feel too faint to, so her voice came out rather choked. “What do you mean he’s not coming back?!”

“Well,” Greed said. “He went to pick up Marcoh, but he was hiding with Scar. Marcoh is a State Alchemist. He’s pretty powerful. And Scar is even worse because he can easily kill State Alchemists. So we think they killed Envy.”

“Wait a minute! Killed?!”

“Yeah, or captured. Either way, if he could return, he’d be back. He’s not. So he’s dead, or as good as dead.”

“If you don’t even know what happened to him, why doesn’t someone go and find out?! And help him?!”

“The blunt truth of the matter is that no one cares,” Greed said with a shrug. “Envy’s outlived his usefulness, really. He’s reckless, his temper makes him uncontrollable, and he’s already had several failures that Father isn’t pleased with. He was very useful before for carving blood crests, but he’s no longer needed for that. You’re both lucky to have finished the mission you were working on before his disappearance, because otherwise, you’d be getting canned too, and Father might be sending someone to make sure Envy was dead. The old man doesn’t take kindly to failure.”

Alice listened in horror to what Greed was saying. Envy was missing. No one knew whether he was dead or alive, but he was still getting given up for dead? Just because they no longer found him useful? What kind of a family was this?!

“You can’t just ditch him! He’s your sibling! Someone has to help him!” she exclaimed.

“I told you. No one cares. That freak’s probably better off dead anyways.”

“How could you say a thing like that?!”

“Face it, kid. You’re the only one who gives a damn about that freak, and even you can’t bear to admit you have any positive feelings for him. No one’s going to bother to spend any effort in trying to retrieve him, especially if he’s likely already dead. You get it, right?”

She nodded. She didn’t really understand how they could be so cold about this, actually, but what else could she say? This went beyond just not being human. It was almost understandable that they wouldn’t care about a different species they saw as lesser. But to do a thing like this to their own kind? That was just low.

“Cheer up, though. If he’s alive and still in Amestris after the Promised Day, Father might be able to restore him,” Greed said. “If he’s dead, though, not much he can do.”

He left soon afterwards. Alice was mostly in shock. Envy. Dead. She had never realized until now how much she had come to depend on him. For about five years he had been her most constant companion, the only person she had to trust, her provider, guardian, and, towards the end, some sort of friend. As much as she hated the fact that he’d forced her to take him as the sole provider of any real comfort, the truth was that it had worked. She felt lost without him and the tight leash he’d kept on her all those years. All she could do was grieve.

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As more weeks passed, she withdrew into a mental shell due to the loneliness and the overwhelming feeling of being lost. She still hoped that Envy was alive somewhere, but there was nothing she could do and the few people who could do something were going to do nothing. She didn’t do much during the day and slept far more hours than she really should. She didn’t much care. Stuck in Envy’s room, alone for most of the day, wasn’t something that she actually wanted to be awake for.

She was very surprised, then, one night, when someone slammed the door open. It was Greed, except it didn’t look very much like Greed in expression.

“Greed?” she asked.

“No time to explain. Grab your things, quickly! Did Envy keep any money or valuables here? If he did, take them too!” he replied. Except that wasn’t Greed’s voice.

“Wait! You’re not Greed! You’re… the owner of that body?!” she asked, getting up to do as the Greed look-alike said.

“Yeah. Hurry up!”

“But why?!”

“Because if you don’t leave with me in just a minute or two, you’re going to starve to death here. We’re not staying! Without Envy or Greed here to take charge of you, they’re not going to take you home. They’re going to let you die. Wrath and Pride have no time for you, and Gluttony and Sloth can’t help you.”

She was actually shocked, but it made sense. Envy had already told her that, though convenient, she wasn’t really necessary. They had very little manpower, too. She very much doubted Father would spend any effort helping her. That was good enough reason for her. She took her few belongings and made a sort of bag from the bedsheets. She then took a relatively small cloth bag filled with money that she knew Envy kept in the wardrobe. Finally, she took one last look at the wardrobe and took one of Envy’s coats.

“I don’t know if I should trust you. But I want to. And more than anything, I want to leave this place, especially if what you say is true,” she said.  

“Trust me. If it weren’t true, I wouldn’t be here. You don’t know me, but I can’t let you die like this. Not after what I’ve seen. Unlike them, you’re not a monster.”

She followed him out of the room. Since she didn’t walk very fast, he carried her out. After all, he could run while doing so. Once outside, though, he put her down. She looked around in awe. She was… free! At least she thought so. Either way, it was fresh air, and she’d wanted it very desperately.

“Listen to me! Get away from here! Get as far away from here as you can! Out of Amestris, even, if you can manage that!” he exclaimed.

“Okay… thank you, mister… who are you?”

“My name is Ling Yao! I am the future emperor of Xing!”

“Mister Ling… thank you. I think you really may have saved my life.”

“Take care of yourself! I must go!”

With that, he took off running. Alice stood for a few moments, breathing in the cool night air. Then she suddenly realized what Ling’s sudden departure meant. Something had happened to Greed. And they were running away. That very likely meant that she was going to be seen as a fugitive as well. Soon enough an angry Gluttony would come out of the tunnels. She didn’t want to be here to see that. And if she were forced to go back into the tunnels… this Ling guy was right. With no one to take care of her there, she was helpless. Out here, she at least had a chance to fend for herself. In the tunnels, where she couldn’t even leave the room for fear chimeras would shred her apart, what could she even do? Suddenly, she was overwhelmed by a sense of being lost. She had no idea what to do. She wanted to survive, but that was the only thing she knew. How could she do it? She had no papers, so it wasn’t like she could just get a job and survive. She had a little money, but that was it. Without the help of the Homunculi, she couldn’t really go home, could she? At the thought of this, her breathing quickened and her heart began to race. She’d done everything she had in order to go home, hadn’t she? And now, with Envy and Greed gone… that was never going to happen. She could feel the start of a panic attack.

She began walking away from the entrance to the tunnels, trying desperately to keep her breathing and composure under control. No. She had never really done all this to get home. That was always going to be an extra. She had done everything she’d done in order to stay alive. That had been her real reason. She was not going to die now. Surely there was a way she could eke out a living. In the city, there was not much she could do. However, in small towns… she was sure that she could get some kind of job where people didn’t ask too many questions. She couldn’t give up yet. If there was any benefit to having read all those history and war books Envy had given her to read, it was that she had a pretty good idea of the layout of Amestris. There was a slum not too far away. If she took a train, she could sleep for a bit before reaching it. Surely she could start there.

She had not forgotten what Ling had said about leaving Amestris. However, she didn’t think that was a viable option, at least not now. She had no papers to leave Amestris with. At the very least, she needed to learn if there were any ways out of the country that she could actually take. And the best way to do that was to meet people. Hiding the ruby pendant under her clothes, and tying her ring on its string in order to hide both things, she began walking towards the train station. She was not beaten yet.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weeks had passed. She had indeed reached the slums as she had intended, and she had managed to eke out a living there, mostly doing things like washing dishes and other such chores. She barely made ends meet, but she didn’t mind. She was starting to get a pretty good idea of where she could flee to before the Promised Day. The way would be hard, but Xing seemed like her best choice. Despite the smile she put forward (she had gotten very, very good at this during her years with the Homunculi), she felt miserable. She had tried to convince herself that she was okay with never going back home, but the truth was, she wasn’t. And as much as she hated it, she also still grieved for the loss of Envy. She felt lost without him. Her only comfort was that he had made her very used to taking orders and the only thing she really did in the jobs she had around the slum was take orders. The only way she found to stay alive was by doing what she’d learned to do best: pretend everything was fine and keep to a sort of routine, letting the inertia of it keep her going, one day at a time. At least… that was what she tried to do, and it went well, until the arrival of the golden-eyed man.

She was heading to the room she was staying in one night, when she saw him by a fire. At first she didn’t react, even though there was a part of her that recognized there was something… wrong about this man. It was only until she was close enough that she realized. This man dressed differently, and had glasses. But surely… he couldn’t be the man that the Homunculi called Father, could it!? She yelped as she became sure that it HAD to be.

“You?!” she shrieked.

The man turned around. He looked identical to the man she’d come to fear. But at the same time, the expression could hardly be more different. The father of the Homunculi was emotionless. This man had the look of a tormented soul.

“Huh? Are you confusing me with someone?”

“Back at Central… it… no, wait, your voice is different.”

“You… met the one who looks like me?”

“Y… you know him?”

“We’ve met. Please, come here and sit by the fire. You look like you could use a sympathetic ear.”

She walked over to him, but she wasn’t sure if she could trust this man.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Van Hohenheim. What’s yours?”

“Alice.”

“So, Alice. You’ve met the man under Central that looks like me. How is this?”

“I… I lived there. For years.”

“Years? That is surprising. Tell me everything.”

She sat there, stunned. How could she possibly tell this stranger everything!?

“I… I can’t!” she replied, her voice choked.

“If you fear retaliation, you have nothing to worry from me. None of them are here to hear you, and I won’t tell them. If you fear they’ll do something to me, they won’t. They need me alive.”

Her hands shook. For so long, she had been desperate to have someone she could trust with all that she’d had to endure. That desperation had only worsened after Envy’s disappearance. And now here was someone who WANTED to listen and who sounded so sincere that she wanted to trust him. She felt, all of a sudden, the overwhelming weight of all the feelings she’d had to hold back. That dam had reached its limit. She slumped to the ground next to Van, and told him everything. She spoke through tears of how she’d landed in the custody of the Homunculi, and all the things she’d been forced to endure with them, and about the mission she’d had to participate in and about how Envy had disappeared and how lost she felt now. He listened to her quietly, with a face full of empathy. By the time she was done, hours later, she felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“I see. What they’ve put you through… no person should have to live through that. Tell me again how you got here.”

She told him about the gate she’d seen and how she’d just been at home when she was grabbed by it.

“I believe it’s possible that it was a human transmutation gone very wrong. Someone must have paid the toll for you to have gotten here intact, but their theory was so wrong that instead of creating a human, it brought you, and not even to the right place. All it took to get you involved was your being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And you’ve suffered greatly from it,” Hohenheim said.

“I can’t even go home anymore. It’s been like five years. Everyone probably thinks I’m dead.”

“What if I told you… that I could take you home? Inside me there are souls. And at least one feels enough empathy for your situation that they are volunteering to pay the toll to get you home.”

Her eyes widened.

“Wait… what?! Home?!” she gasped. She’d heard about the souls too, but being presented with a chance she had given up as impossible made it hard to focus on anything else.

“Yes,” he smiled. “Home. I do believe you have one, even if you were led to believe you might not. It’s not as easy as they made you think. I am convinced you can go home.”

She had no words. All she could do was practically throw herself at his feet and sob with joy.

“Head into your Gate. Go home, child. Restore your life.”

“Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!”

She found herself in front of the stone gate, which opened before her. She was almost blinded by her own tears, but she walked into it.

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It was night, and she felt the breeze on her face, and heard the sound of leaves swaying in the wind. She barely dared to open her eyes. Yet the place felt and even smelled so familiar that she gathered the courage to look around anyways. She was in a park, and she knew every tree and every bit of it because she often took a walk there during the evenings, long ago, in a life that, for a time, she had barely recognized as her own. She was home.

For a moment she was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t even move. Her legs buckled and she slumped to the ground, quiet sobs overtaking her. She was real. The good life she remembered was real. She almost thought she could convince herself that her time in Amestris had been a nightmare. But, well, there was the coat she was wearing, and the ruby pendant that she still could feel, and the ring. And if she really looked carefully, the trees were the ones she remembered, but at the same time they were not. The passing of time was evident in them. Amestris was just as real as she was.

It took her a long time to get back up. But once she did, she knew where to go. Her old home was still only a few minutes away. She wondered if her brother Jeff was still living there. Five years could change everything. She had no idea how her family might have reacted to her disappearance. She could only hope, however, that enough had stayed the same so that they might still be there.

The house looked the same. It might still not be too late to knock. She trembled, though, as her hand found the door and she knocked. She heard someone stirring inside, and her heart felt like it was going to pound its way out of her chest, while she waited for what she knew was just seconds but felt like hours. A young man, not much older than her, with pale skin and reddish-brown hair opened the door. His green eyes almost saw past her as she stared at him with wide eyes.

“Who’s the…” the young man began and then trailed off as his eyes widened, as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Jeff?!” Alice gasped.

“It… it can’t be! Alice?! Alice, you’re…. but we thought you were dead!”

The two siblings embraced each other, both in tears, too overwhelmed to speak. He let her into the house, where she sat on the couch, her hands on her face, tears of joy and relief spilling down her cheeks.

“I’m… I can’t even explain how I feel right now. We thought you were dead! The police had given up on you! We hoped, but… I can hardly believe it! You’re alive! You’re well! Alice, where were you?!” Jeff asked. His voice seemed kind of broken with emotion.

“I… I was kidnapped.”

“Five years! How did you escape?”

“Two men helped me,” she said.

“Well… I can’t tell you how thankful I am to them. You’re back with us, and that’s what matters! I’m going to call everyone!”

She listened numbly as he made call after call to every family member he could think of. He sounded shocked and relieved and joyful, and was sometimes in tears. But the news spread. By the next morning, their house was crowded with family members that were overjoyed to have her back. As relieved and happy as she was, she was also very drained from her whole ordeal. Everything was a haze, but it was a happy haze. She didn’t even care that it would be a pain to do all the paperwork to reintegrate her into her old life. She didn’t care that there would be years she would have to spend to heal from everything that had happened. She was back, with her family, and she was alive. She was home.

She never gave all the details about where she’d been and what had happened with her. She knew she’d be seen as crazy. She never again would be the same person, though. She knew that much. Everything that had happened in Amestris was always going to be a part of her memories. Her experiences with Envy were practically branded into her soul. There would always be a bit of him in it. But she could heal. She would never get rid of the coat she’d taken from him, or the ring, or even the ruby pendant. They were the only things she had left to prove to herself that everything had really happened, and that she had existed during those five years she was gone. Sometimes, she would look outside at the night sky, remembering all those dark nights, and the last night she’d been in Amestris, when Hohenheim had returned her home. Her heart had nothing but gratitude for him. A hand on the ruby pendant, she also remembered Envy. She wondered what became of him, and whether, if he’d survived, he would really hold on to those memories or if he’d just dismiss those years as a blink of an eye. She had realized what the last words he’d said to her really meant, and, along with the night she’d used his Philosopher’s Stone, those last memories were the ones she chose to cherish. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is the canon-compliant ending. Chapter 34 will be the alternate ending)


	34. Melancholy's Mirror

## Chapter 34 - Melancholy’s Mirror

{Author’s Note: This chapter is meant to be read after Chapter 33. It’s an alternate ending, though the events up until the point Alice escapes with Ling and settled in a slum happened exactly the same way.}  

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Envy screamed as loudly as his lungs and vocal chords could permit it, and even then he couldn’t begin to express the amount of pain he was in. His hands were on his face, as though they could somehow ease the pain he felt where his eyes had been just moments ago. He could not even control the fact that he was writhing on the floor, even as his eyes regenerated, only for the liquid inside them to be turned once more into steam that burned them away along with part of his face. He almost wished he were unable to scream anymore, so that he could at least be spared the humiliation of the enemy hearing his shrieks and sobs of agony. But it was futile to even try to stay silent. The pain was too great, and his voice was never going to give out anyways when everything kept being regenerated by the Stone. He was almost glad that he couldn’t cry anymore, even if it was only because the steam from his eyes kept burning out his tear ducts as well.

He was barely given time to breathe before this time his entire body was incinerated. He screamed until even his throat was turned to ashes, and then screamed again when it was regenerated. There was no way he’d be able to take this kind of punishment much longer. He never should have pursued Mustang. He never should have gone after Hawkeye either. He should have run away after the first few flame attacks, back to his room to cower there until everything was over. To be fair, he had tried to. His first instinct had been to run for his life. His second instinct had been to head straight for his room. Was Alice still there? His mind only had time to turn to her for an instant. A friendly face was what he’d wanted the most right then. Who cared if she saw him cower? After a while of running, though, he’d stopped dead in his tracks. What if Alice really was there in his room? Mustang was close behind him, tracking him down. If he did find him and he was in the room, hiding with her, what would Mustang do? He doubted he’d be at all merciful just because a crippled girl was watching. And what would the little idiot do? She would probably get in the way and--yeah, no, he wasn’t going back to his room. Besides… Mustang would have gotten close to Father’s room if he’d gone that way. Envy could never let his flames get anywhere near Father. So he went back, intending to target a weaker Hawkeye to get at Mustang. However, he’d failed. Or, well, he had managed to keep Mustang away from both Alice and Father. He was just going to pay for it with his life, unless he managed to escape again.

The problem was that he was in too much pain to move anymore. Normally, he could move his body even if it was broken, and pieces of it disintegrating. And yet, he found himself hardly able to move anymore. Never had he been subjected to this amount of pain, not even when Doctor Marcoh had destroyed his Philosopher’s Stone. He had thought then that there was no way he could feel any more pain than that. The agony had been so terrible that he was hardly able to so much as think. He’d even spent a long time afterwards shuddering, in his pathetic, worm-like broken form, recovering from the pain. The worst part of that, though, had been the utter humiliation of being reduced to that tiny, broken form. If he hated his birth form, he hated his broken one even more. His birth form at least was powerful and intimidating. His broken form, on the other hand, was tiny, pathetic, helpless, and, to add insult to injury, even uglier than his birth form, if such a thing was possible. It was much the way he actually felt inside: pathetic, tiny, disgusting, helpless. And soon enough, Mustang was going to reduce him to that form again. Not only that, but the pain he’d already felt was already much worse than what he felt when Marcoh had destroyed his Philosopher’s Stone. And from the look in Mustang’s eyes, he was nowhere near done. Envy was terrified.

Mustang loomed over him, eyes filled with hatred. Envy stared into them, filled with terror. He would have cried, but his tear ducts hadn’t completely healed yet. Still, he let out a sob. He would also have lost the contents of his bladder, except that Mustang had already incinerated his body so completely so many times, there was nothing left for him to lose. And yet, he felt every bit as humiliated as he would have felt if he’d had any bladder contents to lose. How had this happened?! It was supposed to be a simple mission to fetch Doctor Marcoh and then destroy his village. He hadn’t really expected to be betrayed by lowly chimera, but he’d still managed to get the upper hand in the ensuing fight, even after that damned Scar had joined. And then everything had gone to hell. Marcoh had destroyed his Stone in what Envy thought was the most painful way imaginable, and his tiny, broken body had been put in a jar. He’d had to endure months of humiliation in that jar, shaken and otherwise mistreated until they’d given him to the Xing girl (how was it that all these people from Xing were such trouble?!). It wasn’t like she’d treated him especially well, either. No. She’d treated him like a bug in a jar, and the worst part was that it was actually all he was reduced to. Part of him had hoped that his siblings would come and help him. Every night, he expected to see Pride and Gluttony come to retrieve him. But they never came. Months had passed and he had been forced to use all his mental energy to try to cling to his sanity, even as it slipped away from him as his soul burned with the horror of these events confirming what he already knew. No one cared. No one was going to help him. Even Father, to whom Envy had devoted his life, even to the point where he’d put himself in harm’s way for him, cared more about a bunch of humans than he cared about him. Put in simpler terms… Father cared more about a few insects than about him. Those thoughts and their implications nearly broke him. His thoughts had wandered to his human pet, Alice, too, in a desperate attempt to seek some source of comfort. She cared… didn’t she? Hadn’t she saved his life when she could have saved herself instead? And yet he could find no relief in that, either. The only reason she had any good feelings towards him at all was because he’d forced them. Had he not broken her and forced her to depend on him, she would have hated him. The only hope he had left, really, was to make his own escape. To that end, he had tricked the Xing girl to come back to Central. She was foolish enough to fall for that, too.

And now here he was, dying, in more agony than he could even really process. His sanity had slipped, even after he’d managed to restore himself by stealing Philosopher’s Stones from the mannequin soldiers that had somehow gotten unleashed in Central. He’d gone into hysterics afterwards, and hadn’t even managed to get a grip on himself when he’d encountered Mustang. And then he’d made the terrible mistake of telling him who’d actually killed that Hughes guy. And laughing hysterically. He should have run away after Mustang proved himself far too deadly for him to handle, to the safety of the tunnels beyond the sewers, but he’d gone back. He’d wanted to help make sure Mustang didn’t reach Father’s room. That was the only reason. Loyalty. Well, okay, there was also a bit of keeping that murderous flame monster away from where (he hoped) Alice was. Oh, who was he even kidding anymore? That had been a pretty big reason. He guessed that was some kind of loyalty too. He had not managed to escape him again, however. And now he couldn’t even get up. He briefly wondered if his pet was still even alive. He didn’t want to see his siblings right now. He’d much rather see her. Even if she would normally have hated him, and even if her loyalty was just due to fear… it sure beat being abandoned like his family had abandoned him.

The hatred in Mustang’s eyes did not hide the fact that he was relishing Envy’s pain. Envy couldn’t stand it anymore. The humiliation was too great. All he could do was desperately try to cling to his indignation at a human attacking him. All he could do was keep pretending he really felt superior to them.

“Human scum! Don’t look down on me!” he yelled.

The words were barely out of his mouth when another snap of Mustang’s fingers caused flames to engulf his tongue again. He couldn’t even breathe for a moment, ashes and charcoal nearly choking him as he tried to inhale in order to scream. There were burns all over his body now. He just could not heal them anymore. His tear ducts he’d managed to heal only because they were necessary to keep his eyes working… though he wondered by now if he even wanted them to keep working. From his tongue and mouth he only managed to heal the muscles, and bits of his throat and tongue. His teeth were still intact. Everything else was just burnt raw. He was crying now from the pain and terror. Mustang, to savour Envy’s tears, walked towards him grabbed him by the throat, and lifted him up. Envy’s extra weight was gone by now. His Philosopher’s Stone was almost depleted. For a strong person like Mustang, he was an easy thing to pick up… like a ragdoll. Mustang’s dark, hatred-filled eyes looked into the terror-stricken purple ones for a moment, and then the Flame Alchemist threw Envy to the ground. Envy didn’t move. He was dazed from the blow, but even if he hadn’t been, his agonizing body could barely move anymore. He did not get much respite, however. It was only a second before he felt Mustang’s boot pressing down hard on his throat. Envy whimpered as he tried to move his arms to try to throw Mustang off him, but failed miserably.

“I’ve never seen anything more pathetic in my life!” Mustang growled.

Those words hurt Envy to his very core, mostly because he couldn’t really deny them. He had never been so helpless in his considerably long life. Even when he’d been reduced to his pathetic, worm-like broken form, he hadn’t been this helpless. He’d been able to move (albeit slowly due to his size) and his sharp teeth were great for biting, and he could even possess someone’s body that way. In this form, injured as he was, he could do nothing. And with his Stone as depleted as it was, he could neither heal nor shapeshift. Helpless and in a vulnerable position with Mustang’s boot threatening to crush his windpipe, all he could really do was whimper and await his inevitable end.

“No! Please don’t! I don’t want to die!” he pleaded in a slurred manner due to his still-injured tongue.

As a response, Mustang’s boot pressed harder against his neck, barely letting him breathe. Envy made a few feeble efforts to struggle, but they were useless.

“You ugly, disgusting, worthless thing… get out of my sight for good!” Mustang yelled, his fingers ready to make the spark that Envy knew would end him.

“No!” Envy tried to scream, though he barely managed a hoarse squeak due to his inability to breathe properly.

He shut his eyes tightly and grit his teeth. But the flames never came. There was the click of a gun, but the Flame Alchemist didn’t snap his fingers.

“What do you think you’re doing, Lieutenant?! Lower your gun!”

“I can’t do that, sir,” Hawkeye answered. “I can’t let you kill Envy.”

Envy gave a choked gasp as he heard those words. What was she talking about?! Why was she stopping Mustang? What kind of horrible thing was she plotting? There was no way in hell she was HELPING him.

“I’ve been looking for so long! I finally found him! He murdered Hughes! He deserves the worst pain and death possible for what he has done!”

“I know that, sir! But this is just pure hatred. I can’t let you go where I can’t follow. That said, I don’t intend to let him live. I’ll dispose of him.”

‘Dispose’ of him. Like trash. It certainly fit his mood. At the very least, no matter where she shot him, it would be less painful than what Mustang had already put him through. She was a sniper, too. She was bound to shoot him in the head. As much as he did not want to die, there were worse ways to go.

“LOWER YOUR GUN!” Mustang bellowed.

He looked ready to set Hawkeye on fire. Normally, this would have greatly amused Envy, but right now, he was in far too much pain to care.

“I can’t follow that order! Please lower your hand!”

There was a sudden clap and a large rock hand knocked Envy away from Mustang, and he skidded to a halt at Edward Elric’s feet. Wonderful. More people to be humiliated in front of. If he had not tried to run away to his room to begin with, he would’ve already been dead. He wasn’t entirely sure which option was worse. An upward glance revealed that Scar was next to the pipsqueak. Edward placed himself between Envy and Mustang. What was up with these people?! It didn’t make sense! Envy tried to sit up again, but at a glare from Scar, he gave up.

“Fullmetal. Get out of the way,” Mustang growled.

“No!” Edward replied.  

“GET OUT OF THE WAY OR I WILL BURN YOU ALONG WITH HIM!”

“You just try! But before you do that, take a good look at yourself in a mirror! Is that the face you want to rule the country with?! You’ve worked so hard only to rule like THAT?!” Edward yelled back.

Mustang hesitated.

“If you want to become like a beast and go down the path of revenge, I won’t stop you. I have no right. But I do have to wonder… what will this country look like when it’s led by a hatred-filled beast? What would such a country look like?” Scar asked.

Mustang lowered his hand.

“Lieutenant. If you’re going to shoot me, now’s the time. What will you do afterwards, though?” Mustang asked, his voice already less harsh.

“Without our purpose,” she replied sadly, “I can’t go on living a peaceful life. I won’t abandon this battle, but when it’s over, then I will remove the secrets of flame alchemy from this world, along with my body. There never must be another Flame Alchemist. These secrets only lead to madness.”

Mustang seemed as though he were in great pain for a moment, but finally backed down.

“We can’t have this. I can’t lose you too. I’ve been so foolish that even an enemy and a child have rightfully scolded me.”

Both Mustang and Hawkeye slumped to the ground, drained. Envy looked at them, horrified. Mustang had been about to lose his soul to hatred. He’d seen it. Why was he so calm now?! It didn’t make sense! He felt a sharp emotional pain. It was his friends. They cared about him. Their support was how he’d managed to get up. He was going to be able to heal from this. His friends were all willing to lend him a hand instead of abandoning him to a horrible fate. Envy’s mind turned to Lust, and how Wrath had let Mustang escape without so much as a slap on the wrist, and how Father had been okay with doing nothing about it. Instead, he’d forbidden him and Gluttony to take revenge, giving Wrath control of the situation. He thought of how Pride was so fond of humiliating him instead of helping him, and had done so, even in front of the Xing warriors. And finally he thought of how they had all abandoned him to a fate worse than death. None of the Homunculi had ever cared. They had never even considered that he might be in pain or need help. And if they had, they had never given it any importance. And here were these lowly humans, withstanding far more than they should just because their friends cared. He couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t even think straight.

“No,” he said. It was hard to talk because of the burns, but he managed. “They’re wrong. You’re enemies! How can you possibly just say nice words and everything is suddenly flowers and rainbows?! Mustang! Scar wanted to kill you! Pipsqueak! He killed your friend’s parents! And oh! That chimera girl, too! Scar! That woman prided herself in being the Hawk’s Eye! She killed your friends left and right! Why aren’t you fighting?! Why aren’t you screaming in agony, writhing and crying like the worms you are?!”

Why weren’t they as lowly as he so desperately wanted to believe?! Why were they rising above their differences?!

There was no reaction from any of them, aside from pity-filled looks, especially from Ed and Hawkeye. Envy felt even more pain. The only thing he’d ever been good at was inciting people. And now, not only was he reduced to a worthless, helpless rag, but even the one thing he excelled at… he was failing at. And worse still, the humans were looking at him with pity. He had never been more humiliated in his life.

“Why?! Why is this happening?!” he shrieked hysterically. He didn’t even care about the pain now. “WHY?! You can’t! You can’t! Why?! WHY?!”

He was sobbing again with the pain and humiliation. Ed looked at him with even more pity.

“Envy,” he said softly.

Envy looked up, for a moment managing to pause his hysteric sobbing.

“I understand now. Your name. Your actions. You’re jealous. You’re jealous of us humans.”

Envy felt his heart practically stop. He could not even keep sobbing, his eyes wide. He wanted to scream at Ed to stop talking, but he was paralyzed.

“We’re supposed to be so weak, according to you. And yet, even if we’re beaten, even if we are hurt, we can keep going. We have empathy for each other. We help each other get up. We’re strong because we are together, because we care, because our strength is the strength of all our friends. And you don’t have that. You want that, but you can never have it. And that’s why you’re jealous.”

The more Ed had talked, the more Envy’s pain increased. By the time Ed was done talking, he was completely sure that he would much rather face Mustang’s flames for years on end rather than hear what he’d said. From the moment of his creation, he had felt a desperate desire for empathy. And yet, he’d quickly learned that the Homunculi would never give him that. He’d quickly learned that they were superior to humans, and he had felt worthless for desiring human empathy. He’d been forced to hide that pain, to not seem weak for close to two centuries now. Not even Father had seemed to realize how pathetic he felt, how emotionally crippled and hurt he was. And now here was this pipsqueak revealing the truth behind him. He was not superior. He was a wretched, worthless creature that wished for lowly human things, and didn’t even have them. Even with his human “pet” Alice, he hadn’t had any genuine empathy, because he’d forced everything. She likely hated him, but couldn’t even admit it. That wasn’t what he was looking for, even if it was the closest he could get to empathy without having to admit what he actually felt about himself. He’d always taken such joy in taking happiness from people because he felt that if he did it enough he could really convince himself that he wasn’t inferior. And he’d failed even in that. And now the humiliating truth was out, and there was no way he could even deny it: not to himself, much less to these people.

“J… jealous?! Me?!” he managed to gasp with the last bits of mental strength he had left. “I’m a Homunculus! This is the ultimate insult!” His strength was gone, tears running down his cheeks. His words were still slurred from his difficulty talking, and broken up by sobs. “Beaten up… until I’m so helpless... Pitied...! Mocked...! And… the most pathetic human I’ve ever met... ” His tone did not convince even him. “How?! How can this pipsqueak kid see through me?! How?! I’m a Homunculus! I shouldn’t… I can’t! I can’t be... jealous!”

Envy wailed with pain he didn’t even know how to describe. He shouldn’t be jealous. Homunculi were superior because they didn’t have these pathetic, lowly feelings. And yet he had them. Even a pathetic human had been able to see right through him. He screamed again and burst into an uncontrollable fit of tears and sobs. He barely saw Hawkeye aim her gun at him. He didn’t care. He welcomed death now. The pain he felt in his soul was far greater than the one his body felt. He could no longer cope. All he wanted was for the pain to end.

“Wait, Lieutenant! Don’t,” Edward said. “It feels… wrong to kill him now. It’d be kicking him when he’s down. Even if he deserves it, it’s not right.”

“He’s going to die anyways,” Hawkeye said.

“Maybe he should have a trial, at least. Make him own up to all the terrible things he’s done,” Ed said.

“A trial, hm?” Mustang asked, frowning slightly.

“Yeah. It’s just fair, right? It’s not fair to just up and kill him right here. A fair trial is what a good ruler would do. Doesn’t have to be a public trial if people can’t know about the Homunculi. But just executing him while he’s down like this doesn’t seem right!” Ed exclaimed.

“Alright, fine,” Mustang sighed. “We’ll let him live for now until he gets a trial, after all this is over.”

Hawkeye lowered her gun. Envy felt outright despair now. They were not going to end his pain, and worse still, they were going to prolong it. He was going to take matters into his own hands. There was no way he could destroy his Philosopher’s Stone in this form, but there was a handy wall nearby. A few blows would destroy this body… and then at least he’d be much more easily killed. He managed to drag himself to the wall, but after the first blow, Edward restrained him.

“What the hell are you doing?!” he yelled.

“It might be better to put it out of its misery,” Hawkeye said.

“No… let him suffer. Leave him here. We’ll come back later after the battle and decide what to do with him,” Mustang said. “Make sure the coward can’t take his own life. He needs to be held accountable for what he’s done.”

Ed nodded. Mustang got Envy to his knees and made him lean forward and Edward clapped his hands and made a crude stone pillory to keep Envy’s hands and head restrained. On his knees, Envy felt the last of his mental strength leave him as he just started whimpering again. There was absolutely nothing he could do, but stay at their mercy. He didn’t even struggle. However, as they turned their backs to him, he started wailing again. He was being abandoned again and he couldn’t stand the idea of being alone with his miserable thoughts.

“NO! Don’t leave me here! Don’t leave me here! Please!” he shrieked.

But they ignored him, leaving him alone to his sobs and screams and the agonizing mental pain they couldn’t even begin to express.  

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For hours, Envy was alone, screaming and sobbing until his voice finally gave out. He could no longer heal it, so he finally lost it. After he could no longer scream, he simply whimpered quietly until even his eyes gave up producing enough tears to cry. Afterwards, he was too weak to do any more than wait listlessly, shivering in cold and pain, quiet sobs often interrupted by passing out temporarily from pain and exhaustion. But though his body was giving out on him, his mind wasn’t. Every second he spent alone, his mind relentlessly went over each and every moment of his life when he’d suffered from his own emotions, and every single thing he’d ever said or done to try to convince himself that he wasn’t inferior, and how much he had actually failed. He no longer even had the illusion of self-worth to give him the slightest motivation to so much as move.

A while after he began passing out more often due to his injuries and dehydration, he heard footsteps, but he no longer cared who they belonged to or what they even meant.

“There it is, sir! Just like the Fullmetal Alchemist said!” a voice said.

Envy didn’t recognize the voice. It was probably some random officer.

“This is one of the bastards that caused this whole mess, isn’t it? Why don’t we execute it right here?” a second officer asked and there was the click of a gun.

“No,” said a third, deep voice. “It won’t do to execute such a weak and helpless thing like that with its back turned to us. Our orders are to get him out of here and let him recover enough to be tried for his crimes.”

Envy did recognize that voice. It was the Strong Arm Alchemist. He supposed they’d need an alchemist to get him out of the stone pillory he was trapped in. He heard them talking and suddenly Major Armstrong punched the stone pillory, crumbling it to bits, the vibration adding a very bad headache to Envy’s already huge pains. He crumpled to the ground.

“Wait,” he managed to say, very quietly, almost inaudibly.

“What did you say?” Armstrong asked.

If there was one thing the headache did do was give him a brief moment of slightly greater mind clarity. He didn’t know if Alice was still in the tunnels, but if she was, the least he could do after everything was to make sure she didn’t stay here to die.

“Prisoner,” he said, only slightly more clearly. “Girl prisoner. In the tunnels.”

He lifted his hand with much difficulty to point in the direction of his and his siblings’ rooms.

“Wait! You bastard, are you saying you guys were keeping a girl prisoner here?!” the second officer asked.

“Yes,” Envy replied weakly. “I think… she might still…”

His voice trailed off as he nearly passed out again.

“Well, we can’t leave a girl here. She might have escaped in the commotion, but we can’t risk leaving an innocent civilian here,” Armstrong said.

Armstrong picked up Envy, trying to keep him in a more or less standing position, until it was evident that it was simply going to be impossible. He then instead just carried him in both arms.

“Where is this prisoner? Point the way, monster!” Armstrong yelled.

If Envy’d had any more mental or even physical strength left, he would have told Armstrong there was no need to yell. All that did was make his headache worse. Still, all he did was vaguely point them towards the rooms. When they got to his, though, it was empty. Envy’s eyes widened. There was a fine coating of dust all over the room. It had obviously been empty for a long while.

“Well? Where is the prisoner?” the second officer asked.

Envy could not answer. He was in shock. Where was she?! Had she died?! The officers looked around the room, and the wardrobe. There was the wedding dress and the dress she’d used for Herman’s wedding. But other than that, everything was gone. Even one of his coats was gone.

“Well, there are signs that a young woman was here,” the first officer said.

The second officer looked under the bed and pulled out the broken up cane that Alice had used long ago.

“Lookit this. A cripple was here?” the second officer asked and turned to Envy. “You bastard, were you keeping a cripple here?! Does this cane show what you did to a poor innocent person?!”

Envy could no longer answer. He gave a quick glance around the room. The red and black cane was missing. She had likely not died here. But she was gone. As this realization really hit him, he felt the last shreds of his willpower leave him.

“Answer me, you bastard!” the second officer yelled, raising his hand so as to strike.

Envy tried to talk, but his body refused to obey him anymore. He just closed his eyes in defeat.

“I don’t think he can respond,” Armstrong said. “But a woman with a cane… I think I might have seen her…”

Envy heard no more as his consciousness slipped away from him again.

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Days later, Hawkeye walked into the hospital where Envy was being kept. After losing his ability to regenerate, he had to heal like a normal human. He had, thus, been sent to a hospital. He couldn’t really stand trial in his state, so even if he was ultimately going to be executed, he needed to at least get somewhat better. It was her job to check if he was already fit to stand trial. After she’d stated her name and business at reception, she’d been greeted by a young female doctor, which led her well away from public spaces before she talked to her.

“Well, the patient is responding like any normal human being. I mean, I know we were told it’s a Homunculus, and the red nodes on its body aren’t exactly of human origin, but, well, it’s still pretty strange, if I must be honest,” the doctor said.

“I need to know if he’s ready to stand trial,” Hawkeye said.

“Well,” the doctor said thoughtfully. “That might actually be a bit difficult.”

“Why? Is he still not healed?”

“I think it’s best if you see for yourself. I think they’re changing the creature’s bandages right now.”

The doctor led Hawkeye to the room where Envy was being held. Sure enough, some nurses were cleaning the burns on Envy’s arms while he was just lying listlessly on the hospital bed. He seemed to be in no pain, but also seemed to have no will to move.

“I thought that might be a more painful treatment,” Hawkeye mused.

“It is. We’re not sure how it’d react, so we are using very standard painkillers. It’s not sedated,” the doctor said.

“Shouldn’t he be complaining then? From what I know of him, he complains very easily.”

“That’s the thing. You see, treatment consists in peeling off dead tissue and cleaning it. It’s harsh. It leaves most people screaming. This one, though? It has not uttered a single sound since it got here. We weren’t even sure it felt pain at first, but when given something to bite down on, it did, and there were other physiological signs that it was suffering a lot of pain. From that, we gathered that it definitely could feel pain like any human. It just seems that it can’t really react much to it. It has not spoken and it barely moves. We are bringing a psychiatric doctor in later to confirm, but I don’t think this creature will be able to stand trial any time soon.”

Hawkeye looked at Envy with a mixture of shock and pity. He had seemed pretty broken when they’d left him in the tunnels, but she hadn’t really expected he would completely shut down. What kind of demons did that Homunculus have in his head? From the way he broke down in the tunnels, it was obvious they were horrible ones. Maybe they’d never know now for sure, though. And if he could not even talk, how were they supposed to put him on trial? And if he was too broken to even react anymore, it couldn’t possibly be right to just execute him, could it? How could anyone pull the trigger on such a pitiful thing? He might not be screaming or complaining, but those eyes were full of misery.

“What do you think will happen, Doctor?” she asked.

“Well, I’m no expert, but you ask me, the mental damage on this one dwarfs its physical damage… which is already pretty extensive. Its body is strong and it’s surprisingly resilient to physical damage. It’s recovering very well. But there’s just no mental recovery. I expect the doctor will confirm something like catatonia and suggest a mental institution.”

“Catatonia?!”

“Yeah. It can be acquired, after all. From this one’s report, I think it was acquired through trauma. But, well, no way to really know for sure. You asked for my opinion though, and I’m pretty sure I’m right. I know you need to file a report, so let me give you all the papers.”

The doctor walked into the room. Hawkeye noticed that Envy seemed entirely unaware of his surroundings as he didn’t even glance in the doctor’s direction, even when she walked in front of him. The doctor then picked up a folder, went outside, and handed it to Hawkeye.

“I read the reports. I know this is a war criminal and I’m sure your boss really wants him to stand trial. I’m sorry, though. I don’t think he’ll ever really be able to stand trial.  Maybe if he were less broken, but, well… such are the facts.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Hawkeye said.

She took one more pity-filled look at the broken monster and left to deliver the report to Mustang.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was weeks before Envy was released from the hospital. Despite some fairly significant scarring on his body and limbs, his physical wounds were healed. He did not, however, regain his ability to speak, or even function. Much to Mustang’s dismay, it was impossible to put him to trial. However, he did go to see him the day he was released, expecting to see a resentful, if sad, Homunculus. Instead, he saw a pitiful, quiet thing whose only sign of seeing Mustang was burying his face in his hands. No one could move him from that position for hours. Deciding that such a broken state was punishment enough (it sure was more humiliating and painful than having the respite of death), Mustang signed the order to have him committed to a mental hospital. There was really little other choice. Sending him to live on the streets was risky because even without his healing or shapeshifting abilities, he was doubtlessly strong, and if he ever recovered, he could be very dangerous. Sending him to prison in that state was out of the question. And there was no one who could actually keep him. He couldn’t possibly ask Mrs. Bradley, who’d adopted Selim again, to take care of such a helpless creature. She had no need to help a pitiful thing like Envy. It would be ideal to rehabilitate him and make him a productive member of society for him to spend his time trying to atone for his crimes, but first he did need to be able to so much as move. For a long time, though, everyone forgot about Envy as he was sent to the mental hospital and simply left to the doctors there.

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Some time after the Promised Day, Alice headed back to Central City. She had become ill some time before the nightmarish day, and had spent a few weeks mostly in bed, thankful that she’d brought the money Envy kept in his room. She’d recovered a few days after the horrible experience of passing out, then vaguely remembering horrible misery, only to wake up again and finding out everyone had passed out as well. As much as she said nothing, she figured that was the plan the Homunculi had been working towards. She was horrified, but she knew better than to say anything to anyone around her. She wondered what had gone wrong and was making plans to get out of Amestris in case they tried again when she finally heard the news on the radio. The Fuhrer had been killed, and the unethical plans of the military had been stopped. She knew that it meant the Homunculi had lost. Not long after, she’d heard rumors that Mrs. Bradley had adopted another little boy she named Selim. Alice wondered if that meant that Pride had survived… or if it was another Homunculus, or, well, if Mrs. Bradley was ever told about what Selim and the Fuhrer were. She suddenly wanted very much to talk to Mrs. Bradley. She would likely understand her and maybe help her with a job. As much as it was possible to live in the slums, if her recent illness was any indication, it was actually a pretty unwise choice. She barely made money, so there was no way she would be able to pay a doctor. She didn’t care if Mrs. Bradley gave her a job as a maid. At least the city might be a bit healthier for her to live in.

Once she finally got to Central, it was hard for her to be able to talk to Mrs. Bradley. The guards didn’t let her come in until someone recognized her as the woman who had gotten married at that ceremony that the Fuhrer and his family had personally attended. She was finally allowed in, despite her shabby appearance, her carrying her belongings wrapped in bedsheets and her wearing a very mismatched coat.

“Oh my!” Mrs. Bradley exclaimed when she saw Alice. “You’re that young woman that got married, aren’t you?!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh dear, what happened to you?”

“My… husband disappeared. And then everything in Central went crazy. I went to live in some slums outside the city. But I came back after I heard about… well, the outcome. Madame, may I ask you a question? It’s… probably going to sound awful, but I know the actual answer to it, and I’d just like to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“Yes. Go ahead. Is this about… my husband? Or my son?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Since he went to your wedding… you must have been close, or your husband was. You knew, didn’t you? About him and Selim?”

Well, it turned out she didn’t need to ask after all.

“Yes. I did.”

“I loved both more than anything,” Mrs. Bradley said, tears coming to her eyes. “And then I was told what they were. They weren’t even human. They called them monsters. But I know they weren’t. I know they were… loving people. It doesn’t matter that they weren’t human. I loved them and I know they loved me.”

“I know… my husband… he was one of them too.”

“Was he nice? King was. Same with my dear Selim.”

“He was… complicated,” Alice said with a sad laugh. “I think he tried, though. I think he really tried to be nice and just didn’t know how.”

The two of them spoke about their husbands, trusting each other in the way only people who’ve lived through the same rare event know. Alice was, honestly, surprised at how kind and loving Wrath had been to Mrs. Bradley, and how sweet Pride had been with her. She kind of wished Envy had been a bit more like them, but, well, there was no use, really, lamenting the past. There was only the future to look forward to. Much as she mourned not being able to go home, she had managed to learn to accept her fate. She could make her own future, and if it had to be in Amestris… she was still alive, and maybe her return wasn’t entirely hopeless. But it wouldn’t do to wallow in misery. Life went on and she couldn’t stay behind. Her surprise and respect for Mrs. Bradley only increased when the older lady told her about how the Fullmetal Alchemist had brought the remnants of her son, who had become a tiny little baby-like being that she could hold in a hand. She had cried over the loss of her son, but she had not let anyone convince her to get rid of him. Selim was still her son and she would raise him all over again if necessary.

“I think they were just cruel because they didn’t know better. No one showed them how to be better people and care about others more. Even so, Selim and King were lovely people. With more love, from the start, I think Selim will grow up to be a sweet boy.”

“I think you’re right. I lived with them… I really think you’re right about that.”

She was sure that if anyone could manage to soften the heart of a Homunculus… it was this lady. That conviction was only strengthened after their conversation led Alice to tell her that she was currently homeless due to her unfortunate situation with her papers. Mrs. Bradley immediately offered her a place to stay and a job. Alice almost burst into tears from her gratefulness at this lady’s kindness. She had wanted to ask for a job, but she had half-expected her to refuse. And it turned out she didn’t even need to ask. She was to be Mrs. Bradley’s personal assistant and companion (a position that she later learned Mrs. Bradley had made up on the spot).

She was well on her way to remaking her life and healing. Mrs. Bradley was indeed a very kind person, and Alice soon learned to really smile again. And just as Mrs. Bradley had said, Selim was turning out to be an adorable boy. He seemed to have no recollection of his previous life and he was just the same as any other gentle child. If not for the red node on his forehead, it was impossible to tell he was not human. His feelings and disposition were no different from those of any kind boy.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About three years later, Hawkeye walked into a mental hospital where, years before, Envy had been left. The idea of sending him to trial had been abandoned. It was probably best for the populace to remain convinced it was only people that had led to all the awful things. As far as anyone knew, Envy was just a surviving result of the military’s experiments. They only aimed to make him into a productive member of society, instead of just letting him live out his life paid for by the people’s taxes, let alone the personal pockets of anyone. Mustang had figured that three years was enough to see some kind of result. Hawkeye went through the motions of stating her name and business so that she was led to the doctor that was in charge of Envy’s case. She was led to the office of an imposing-looking doctor.

“Ah, finally,” he said. “It’s been a long while since you left that patient here.”

“Yes, sir. I need to report back to General Mustang with the results.”

“What you brought us here was a creature so broken that it almost made us wonder whether or not it was capable of thought. The reports from the hospital claimed it was a female, but developmentally, it really can’t be. The military reports claimed it was male. The problem is that it’s not telling, and, well, we didn’t want to examine it by force. Its fragile psyche might be irreparably broken with such an invasive procedure. For the sake of clarity, though, let’s call it a she. I assume the hospital has greater evidence on this.”

Hawkeye just nodded.

“The reports claimed Envy was an extremely dangerous individual and that we must take care she doesn’t incite other people or harm them. Our experiences with her, though, have shown an extremely docile creature. She has not spoken. When she came here, though, she didn’t react to stimuli. Tests showed a fairly severe catatonia. I regret to say that the diagnosis still stands.”

“You mean… the treatment has failed? Envy cannot be released?”

“I did not say that. But, well, if you expected her to be able to do skilled labour, you’ll be sorely disappointed. The reports claimed the creature was very intelligent… and tests proved it, when we were able to get her to cooperate. And, well, only the written ones. As I said, we have not been able to get her to speak. She is, however, functional, if lethargic, and this is even after medication has been suspended. She can do all basic activities unaided and can follow orders. We have even made headway on that. She used to follow all orders, regardless of possible harm to herself. It’s due to the catatonia. A complete inability to move is just one of the symptoms of this complex disorder. Another is excessive cooperation. But she is able now to show some resistance, at least if you ask her absolutely ridiculous things, such as trying to stab herself in the arm. She used to try to follow that order. We gave her that order to test how severe her problem was. She didn’t hesitate. She just grabbed the knife and tried to drive it through her arm. Of course, we only gave her a rubber knife, so she couldn’t really do much damage with it, but.. she wouldn’t stop until we told her to. Thankfully, she will not follow such orders anymore. She will either ignore them, or just move the knife away. Still, she does not respond at a normal level. Come, let me show you.”

He stood up and Hawkeye followed him. She was still shocked at what the doctor had said about Envy and that rubber knife. She could hardly believe anyone would follow orders like that, even contrary to their own survival. The doctor had a few words with a nurse and then headed to a medical examination room. Soon enough, Envy walked in, followed by a nurse. He didn’t even seem to acknowledge Hawkeye, though he did become somewhat shaky.

“Envy, sit down,” the doctor said

Obediently and without the slightest hesitation, Envy sat down on the examination table.

“As you can see, there’s some thought process there. She doesn’t just sit on the floor. She knows where we’ll want her to sit. It’s hard to know how much she really hears. She tends to ignore orders when you do not say her name, though. And despite how vacant her gaze looks now, just staring straight ahead, she’s been observed having a few more lucid moments lately. She’ll even look around and pace her room and actually start to walk with a purpose somewhere, even if she usually trails off. During her lucid moments, though, she often has crying spells. This has been happening a bit less lately, but it’s still worth noting. The only real problem we’ve had with her was when someone tried to get her near a stove. She became so hysterical that we had to sedate her. Apparently she can’t stand fire. The scars on her body are probably a good indication as to why.”

At the word ‘fire’, Envy flinched but made no other motion.

“But yes. Following orders. It’s a bit of a problem. It doesn’t matter if you hurt her. She’ll just do as she’s told,” the doctor said, turning to Envy. “Envy, hold out your arm. We want to draw blood. It’s going to hurt.”

Envy stretched out his arm. The nurse drew blood and he didn’t even flinch.

“The test is necessary, you see. We need to monitor her health because she resists eating. The thing here is… we don’t think this mental hospital can offer any more improvement. The only real treatment for catatonia is to treat the underlying issue. We think it’s an extremely severe depression, combined with trauma. While we have helped the trauma somewhat, I think that if she stays here, she will improve to a point, and then her mind will fully realize where she is and she is just going to get worse again… perhaps worse than she started. I have been discussing this with the staff, and we think that she needs to be placed in some sort of welfare, given a simple job where she can feel useful. Always a simple, humble job, you understand. I read the files and you don’t want her getting any grandiose airs. But if you could find someone who’d take her in as welfare and provide her with a humble job… like a servant of sorts, or other such job where she only follows simple orders, and where she’s treated very, very kindly, I think she will come out of her shell. Maybe she’ll even speak again.”

“Would Envy return to being a danger?”

“When recovering from this kind of damage, the old psyche is destroyed and you can replace it with a new one. It always builds upon the old, but a lot of things can change. I don’t think she’ll be the same person ever again, no matter what you do. But of course, it’d be important to remind her and make sure she understands that if she even seems to be turning back to her dangerous ways, she will be punished. I do not suggest threatening to kill her. The report did mention suicidal tendencies. Threaten to keep her alive under worse circumstances. I think that’ll keep her in line. Never let her get grandiose airs, and threaten to worsen her situation. I don’t think you’ll really need to do much of that, but it should dissuade her. She’s so docile, though, that as long as she’s treated kindly she should stay that way. She seems to crave kindness desperately enough to do anything.”

“Understood, Doctor.”

“So… are you taking her? You’ll need to find a person who’d have the patience and kindness to deal with her.”

“I know just the one.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Mrs. Bradley was contacted to see if she’d be willing to look after another Homunculus, at first, she was a bit bothered by the idea. It was one thing to look after her son. But no matter Selim’s relation to the others, the truth was, they were strangers to her. However, as the situation was explained to her, she relented. She just didn’t have the heart to turn away someone so hurt. Still, she also needed to see whether this one would be any trouble. She arranged things with Hawkeye to meet the Homunculus known as Envy a week afterwards, preparing herself for whatever she might see.

But as much as she prepared herself, she felt there was no way she really could be ready for the sorry sight that met her eyes. The young person Hawkeye brought in was short, lanky and very pale, with long, thin, limp black hair. On his forehead, there were three red nodes, connected by lines. He was wearing simple garb, just some white shirt and pants, likely provided by the hospital he’d been staying in. The short sleeves left his arms bare, and she could see a number of scars on them. The most striking feature, though, was his eyes. They were cat-like and purple, but, really, what shocked her was how dead they looked. They were glazed over by what had to be misery and he didn’t even bother looking around. He didn’t even sit down after Hawkeye and Mrs. Bradley sat. He just stood there, staring at nothing in particular, his gaze fixed downwards.

“This is Envy,” Hawkeye said after they’d exchanged greetings. “He’s gone through some severe trauma, and this is what became of him.”

“Oh dear, that is awful! Why doesn’t he sit down?”

“He will if you ask him to, but probably not otherwise. In his current state, he follows orders, but little else. And you usually have to use his name or he’ll just ignore you.”

“Envy? Please, sit down,” Mrs. Bradley said. She could hardly stand seeing the young person just stand there looking so dead.

Envy glanced at her seeming almost surprised, but a second later, his eyes were glazed over again and he sat down on the couch, as far from Hawkeye as possible.

“What would happen to him if I can’t keep him?” Mrs. Bradley asked.

“Well,” Hawkeye said. “He’s totally useless to anyone. All he does is follow orders and cry. He doesn’t speak anymore. We would send him back to the mental hospital, but they don’t give him a very good prognosis. Since depression is the cause of his being so paralyzed, it will likely only get worse until he won’t move at all. He’s not really responding to treatment anymore.”

Mrs. Bradley had actually just asked just due to curiosity. She couldn’t possibly turn away this helpless creature. She might not know him, but he was Selim’s sibling.

“What care does he need?”

“Just food, water and shelter for the most part. And being treated kindly and feeling useful. The doctors suggest he only keeps humble jobs to keep him from re-developing grandiose airs that might make him dangerous. Kind treatment will probably help him, though we don’t know if he’ll ever speak again.”

“Could I just… adopt him?”

“Unlike Selim, this is not, for now, a good option. He needs to be kept humbled, and being the child of such a great lady as yourself is likely not going to help with that.”

“Well… my head gardener could always use an assistant. He is a very kind man.”

“Gardening? Yes, that could work well.”

“He’s not a danger, is he? To himself and others?”

“No. Not anymore.”

“Would people from his past affect him?”

“Oh, like Selim? No. I don’t think so. If anything, it might help him come back to his senses.”

“Then we’ll do that.”

Hawkeye left after some more discussion, but not before giving Envy a very sad pity-filled look. Mrs. Bradley sighed. She hadn’t really wanted to discuss with Hawkeye the other reason she’d asked about people from Envy’s past. Alice had never referred to her husband’s real name, but Mrs. Bradley felt pretty sure it might have been Envy. She’d met “Evan”, and the shape of the eyes and a lot of the facial features were the same as this broken Homunculus. Still, if he was kept as a gardener, chances were she would never actually see him. She was sure Alice was strong enough to deal with it, and it would at least give her closure, but, really, the longer she went without seeing this broken shell of a person, the better.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Months later, Selim ran out of the house and into the gardens. He was looking for a worker--any would do. But the only person he saw was a lanky young person with scarred hands working on trimming a bush. It was the new gardener… the one that cried a lot. His mommy had told him to be nice to the gardener, and, well, Selim didn’t see any reason not to be. But seeing the gardener’s sad face made him sad too. He wondered if there was any way to cheer the poor worker up.

“Hey, mister, I mean miss… I mean… uh… little gardener!” Selim called.

He’d assumed the new gardener was a boy, but, really, looking at him now, he wasn’t entirely sure. What he did know was that the sad worker was definitely the smallest gardener.

The gardener turned around to look at Selim.

“Can I please ask you for a bunch of flowers? Red ones, please?” Selim asked.

The gardener looked at Selim in bewilderment for a moment before the expression went back to being completely deadpan. He nodded and got up. That was right, Selim thought sadly. He’d also been told that the gardener didn’t speak. He just waited for the gardener to come back, which he presently did, holding a bunch of beautiful red flowers that he’d obviously picked very carefully. He handed them over to Selim, who gave him a huge smile.

“Thanks, little gardener!” he exclaimed.

The gardener just nodded and went back to his work. Selim ran back into the house.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here, Miss Alice!” Selim exclaimed, handing over the bunch of red flowers to Alice.

Alice smiled and took them. She was in bed, sick, as she’d been for the past week. She was getting better, definitely, but it was still very nice to get a little gift of flowers from Selim. She loved flowers. And, well, it seemed that he had definitely taken note of her love for red flowers. All the flowers in the bouquet were red. They were also very fresh and beautiful. On the roses that had been picked, someone had apparently taken care to remove any imperfect petal.

“Thank you, Selim,” she said.  

“Do you like them?”

“Yes! Did you pick them?”

“Well… no. Mommy likes the work the gardeners do, so I didn’t wanna mess it up. But the gardeners know what flowers can be picked, so I asked the little gardener to pick red ones!”

“Little gardener?”

“Yes. It’s a new gardener and he’s very little,” Selim said. ”He’s really sad all the time, though,” he added in a sad tone. “He doesn’t talk and doesn’t smile and he cries a lot.”

“Oh… really? How sad…” Alice said. “Maybe he could use a get-well flower himself...”

For some reason, the news of a sad gardener made her feel melancholic. Maybe it was because it made her think of home, and she was still mourning the fact she’d never go back. But maybe it was also because the last person who’d given her flowers was someone she knew to be pretty sad as well. She wondered what had happened to that gardener to make him so. She felt sorry for him, even though she didn’t know him, and hoped that he would eventually feel better. Maybe, after she recovered, she might even take a flower to him herself. Little gestures like that always helped. Selim’s little gift had brought a smile to her face and made her feel better. Maybe she could pass that along sometime.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Though she asked Mrs. Bradley about the little sad gardener, the kind woman told her that the situation was very delicate and complicated, and she didn’t want to worry Alice while she was still feeling unwell. She promised to explain everything once she felt better. It turned out, though, that when she was feeling somewhat less unhealthy, it was a pretty warm day and she’d felt claustrophobic enough that she went out into the garden. She wasn’t expecting to see anyone and had chosen a time when it would be particularly empty. As she sat on a chair, though, breathing in the breeze and watching the flowers and listening to the birds, she also heard some rustling. Some especially diligent gardener was probably working, even though this should be a break time.

She glanced towards the sound and saw a small, lanky gardener busy at work, mostly trimming out imperfections in the plants. Her first impression was that the gardener really did look miserable, with his gaze cast downward and his lethargic, almost robotic movements. There was something familiar about him, though. Something about the way he walked and the hair and the size. But it really couldn’t be. As he turned and she saw the almost dead, wretched face, she gasped. And then she let out a small shriek when she recognized the purple eyes. The gardener didn’t even turn to look at her.

“Envy?!” she called out.

The gardener froze, wide-eyed. He seemed to be having some trouble breathing, or, at least, catching his breath, before he turned back to Alice, still wide-eyed. She barely could recognize him, due to the almost dead expression, and the numerous burn scars on his hands. But there was no doubt that was Envy. He was the sad little gardener?! He looked so pathetic it almost broke her heart. Was this what Mrs. Bradley had wanted to explain? She rather wished she hadn’t seen him now and had indeed waited until she felt better. But there he was. What in the world had happened to him to turn him into this empty shell? For a moment, she felt defensive, not wanting to fall back into his power… but she quickly realized he had no more of it. He was even more helpless than she’d ever been. The two of them just stood there staring at each other for what felt like hours. She could see that he recognized her, but neither of them moved for a while.

“What happened to you?!” she said at last.

The dead look was, for now, gone from his eyes, replaced by a look of such pain, that Alice thought she’d much rather see the dead expression. He fell to his knees, burying his face on his hands, saying something that was impossible to understand, both due to how quietly and hoarsely he spoke and the fact that his words were drowned out by sobs. Alice sighed. She took a few steps towards him, and stretched her hand out to him. Still sobbing piteously, he took it.


End file.
